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GAME OF THRONES: "The Bear and the Maiden Fair" S1E7 (recap)

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By Kevin Cafferty
The Bear and the Maiden Fair starts out as “Love Westeros Style”, as the show attends to its various romantic subplots.

Will Jon and Ygritte’s love survive the machinations of Evil Wildling Gareth Kennan from The Office? Will Robb Stark’s wife have twins? Will the Blackfish see any more wet shits he likes more than Walder Frey?

There’s a lot going on here, and I can’t remember the last time the show has focused this much of its attention on people making kissy-face.

Continuing in the romance vein, there’s a lot of fall-out this week over Tyrion’s upcoming wedding to Sansa Stark.


Margaery Tyrell (back this week!) attempts to comfort Sansa by telling her that, hey, Tyrion’s not that bad a guy and Sansa’s having none of it. She just keeps saying, “I’m a stupid stupid child” over and over.  Bronn’s trying to give Tyrion a pep talk of his own, but Tyrion’s also sulking.

Maybe Bronn and Margaery should get together and give pep talks to each other. I’d watch that show.

Honestly, I was enjoying this week’s installment but not loving it until we got to my two favorite sequences – Tywin schooling Joffrey and Dany schooling the slavers of Yunkai.


First Tywin and Joffrey: Look, I know that with the death of Craster a few weeks ago Tywin Lannister is now the Worst Father Alive but apparently that’s what it takes to wipe Joffrey’s stupid entitled smirk off of his stupid face.  Hell, after “We could arrange to have you carried” I was basically willing to place all my bets in the Game of Thrones on House Lannister.  There’s an old axiom that says if you want the audience to like your character you should make him or her good at their job, and Tywin is definitely good at his.  Besides, he was nice to Arya last season. Go Tywin!

As for Daenerys, her badassery continues: she’s just cold traveling the land, freeing slaves and feeding her dragons and listening to Jorah Mormont give portentious exposition. I wish they would devote an entire episode to her exploits across the narrow sea, like they did with the King’s Landing invasion last season, but with only 10 installments a  year I can see why that’s not feasible.


Theon’s plotline continues to baffle. Do we really need to spend five or six minutes every week watching an Alfie Allen torture porn film? Isn’t that time that could be better spent watching Daenerys shout, “I am the BLOOD OF THE DRAGON!”?

I had forgotten all about the Theon Torture Show, however, once Jaime Lannister jumped into that pit (minus his hand!) to save Brienne from that rampaging bear.


Remember how awful Jaime was during season one, pushing Bran out of windows and attacking Ned?  Now he’s risking his life to save his lady warrior chum.  I was hoping he’d throw some of Roose Bolton’s men down there, too. A total “stand up and cheer” moment, probably the first one since Dany freed her Unsullied Army.  The only thing that would have made it cooler was if Jaime and Brienne had teamed up with the bear to attack Roose Bolton.




Notes:
  • Overall, I liked this week’s installment. Nothing stood out to me as being terrible like last week’s “Chaos is a Ladder” speech (except for the Theon subplot, but that’s been a problem every week) and I’m curious to see where things are headed as we head into the latter part of the season. Hard to believe there are only three episodes left.
  • Kit Harington and Rose Leslie have chemistry to spare – it’s really helping their romance plot work.  Great casting.
  • Bran and company are heading North of the Wall to find the three-eyed crow. Osha’s monologue about how her boyfriend became an ice zombie didn’t really work for me, but it was nice to get a reminder that, hey, there are ice zombies out there.
  • This weeks’ episode was written by George R.R. Martin, who writes the books that the show is based on.
  • Arya escapes the Broterhood Without Banners and is immediately captured by The Hound. Honestly, I’m a little sick of “Arya gets captured” plots. Let her stick some people with the pointy end again!

Next week: Theon screams some more!

NOW HERE'S A TRAMP STAMP I Can Really Get Behind

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Are you thinking of getting a tattoo on your lower back but are worried that you'll look like a Spring Break stereotype and will come to regret your decision?

Well, don't let that weird little impulse of rationality stop you, not when you can get a literal version of the Tramp Stamp that will wash off after the irony of it wanes.

That's right, artist/designer Phil Jones has your back covered (at least so far as putting ink onto a giant rubber stamp and then placing it on your lower back) when it comes to indulging in that late 90's style of whoredom.

Of course, right now the Tramp(oline) stamp is in the development stages but if you'd like to help him make this thing a reality, contact Jones HERE.

It'll probably make for a better prospect than getting some tribal tattoo above your asshole.

Source: Incredible Things

The Pull List: CHIN MUSIC #1, BATMAN #20, THE WALKING DEAD #110 & More!

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Check out what I checked out this week.

Whether the comics are inspiring or disappointing, I read them all.

Welcome to The Pull List.

And, as always...Spoilers ahead!

Star Wars #5 (Pick of the Week)
Writer: Brian Wood
Art: Carlos D’Anda
Colors: Gabe Eltaeb
Cover: Rodolfo Migliari
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Price: $2.99

Brian Wood and Carlos D’Anda have created something special that reminds us of why we fell in love with Star Wars.

They are just two creators that simply get it when it comes to the ways of the force. The Empire is closing in on Princess Leia and her stealth X-Wing squadron.

Meanwhile, Han Solo may need to spend his newly earned credits to get off of Coruscant, alive.

D’Anda’s artwork during the space battle was truly extraordinary and the best illustrations of the series.

 He has this uncanny ability to make it look like the battle is unfolding in front of you while producing amazing character work that conveys the gravity of the situation. There was a menacing image of a tie fighter pilot in the cockpit that just screamed danger for the Rebellion.

Later on, we see the image again only this time, we see the pilots eyes which immediately justified the earlier fear as a deadly blow is struck. These battles are a pivotal part of the Star Wars franchise and it's nice to see a comic that does them justice.

Wood’s dialog is simple, effective and echoes the voice of the characters. He writes Han Solo better than any writer that I’ve seen. Others who write expanded universe stories try to put their own spin on the character but if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, and Wood knows this and keeps him true to form. For example, the argumentative banter between Han and Chewie is sure to put a smile on your face. Five issues in and it’s safe to say that Dark Horse has a real winner here!

If you shy away from Star Wars comic books, please, make this series the exception. Read it now!

Grade: A-


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Cult Classic A BOY AND HIS DOG Arrives on Blu-ray!

INFOGRAPHIC: The STEPHEN COLBERT Story

THE BOOB TUBE! Video Previews of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, Marvel's S.H.I.E.L.D. & More Fall Shows

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It's that time of year as the networks host their upfronts, announcing their fall schedules and presenting previews of their new series.

Including a new one for the much anticipated new season of Arrested Development which starts streaming on Netflix at the end of the month on May 26th



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EARLY 70'S HACKER MOVIE 'Paper Man' Is Begging For A Re-Make

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So, I have to give some props to Boing Boing for dusting off this 1971 Dean Stockwell movie (Paper Man) about a small group of college students (including Stephanie Powers) who commit credit card fraud via the university's computer and then get murdered by...well, you should probably see it.

I don't want to ruin the fun.

For the young 'uns out there who may be about to watch the movie below (yes, I embedded it for your viewing pleasure): While the fashion and the dialog may spark some need to emulate since it's so retro, don't be afraid when you see the computer. Yeah, computers did, at one point, take up ENTIRE rooms and have a lot of blinky lights that seemed menacing, but don't worry, that doesn't mean they become sentient and start punishing people.

Oops, forget I said anything.

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Too Much of a Good Thing—Is the Number of X-Books X-Cessive?

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We’ve all heard the expression that you can have too much of a good thing.

Me? 

I can’t possibly fathom a world where I can have too much Natalie Portman. 

That’s just crazy talk.

But for most things, I guess you can count that old adage as true.  I love me some pizza, but after two or three…pies, things get a little dicey for the old digestive system.  Caffeine?  Aside from the fact that too much can actually kill a person, after the first seven or eight…liters, I start seeing sounds and picking fights with that shady dandelion in my backyard.

To be fair, this son of bitch had it coming.

What about comics? 


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WHY ASTRONAUT CHRIS HADFIELD Is Extremely Important To Future Space Exploration

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Canadian Astronaut Chris Hadfield has returned back to earth after spending 144 days commanding the International Space Station, and while many astronauts have come and gone from the ISS in the 15 years it's been orbiting Earth, it is Chris Hadfield who just might make the biggest contribution to renewing interest in space and exploration.

And it is through his videos on YouTube that did it...kind of remarkable that a man had to go all the way to space to make those of us on the ground become enthralled once again with the idea of touching the heavens, isn't it?

But it is these little visual connections with the people of the world (be it learning how to puke, cry, brush your teeth or simply watching your watch float around in space) that made us want to learn more and perhaps, as the idea of space travel for non-astronauts gets closer to a reality, to see what we will be in for one day.

And, like the true social media diva that he is (the man even Tweeted from space), Hadfield made the ultimate good-bye video to the ISS by covering David Bowie's Space Oddity AS HE FLOATED AROUND THE FREAKING EARTH, while we at home watched and yeah, laughed, at his silliness and sort of fell in love with an idea that we too could sing space-related songs in the universe and it would be acceptable.

Thanks Chris, for being goofy and fun and making it okay to nerd out openly about wanting to be an astronaut when we grew up...welcome home.

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TUESDAY BLUs (& DVDs): This Week's New Releases 5/14/13

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Summer movie season has begun, which means you have six other nights to fill with DVD & Blu-ray selections. This week features a number of television releases including Dexter and several complete series sets as well as Cloud Atlas from filmmakers The Wachowskis and Tom Twyker and starrring Tom Hanks and Hallie Berry.  Plus, the latest Die Hard installment, A Good Day to Die Hard has shown up a few weeks early with a digital download.

As always, fire up that queue and prep that shopping cart and check out this weeks' latest releases!

Cloud Atlas

Future. Present. Past. Everything is connected.  An exploration of how the actions of individual lives impact one another in the past, present and future, as one soul is shaped from a killer into a hero, and an act of kindness ripples across centuries to inspire a revolution. The story is a time-shifting weave of six interlinking narratives where characters meet and reunite in different eras, with diverse settings from the savagery of a Pacific Island in the 1850s to a dystopian Korea of the near future. Adapted and directed by Andy and Lana Wachowski and Tom Twyker and based on the best-selling novel written by David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas stars Tom Hanks, Halle Berry, Jim Broadbent, Hugo Weaving, Jim Sturgess, Doona Bae, Ben Whishaw, James D'Arcy, Xun Zhou, Keith David, David Gyasi, Susan Sarandon, and Hugh Grant.  Extras include A Film Like No Other: See How Three Visionary Directors Come Together, Divided Their Tasks and Created a Cohesive Masterpiece, Everything Is Connected: The Cast And Filmmakers Delve Deeper Into The Connections That Tie The Story Together, Spaceships, Slaves & Sextets: Unravel the Mysteries, Themes and Subtext Of Cloud Atlas With The Cast, Filmmakers, Author And Producers and The Bold Science Fiction Of Cloud Atlas: Explore The Film's Cutting Edge Future With Tales Of Cloning And Extraplanetary Exploration.

Dexter: The Seventh Season

Dexter (Michael C. Hall) is finally forced to confront his greatest fear, as his sister, Debra (Jennifer Carpenter) witnesses his insatiable, ritualistic slaying of a killer. Now Deb knows the secret of his Dark Passenger, his undeniable thirst for blood, and the Code that their father Harry (James Remar) instilled in him as a young boy. But as Deb tries to reconcile the unfathomable idea that her beloved, mild-mannered brother is Miami's most notorious serial killer, Dexter is still pulled by his natural impulses to seek out the guilty and exact his brand of vigilante justice. As Dexter finds romance with a beautiful fellow murderer (Yvonne Strahovski) and faces off against a vicious mobster (Ray Stevenson) bent on revenge, Deb learns how difficult it is to keep her brother's secrets.  LaGuerta (Lauren Vélez) also pursues a crusade to expose Dexter as the Bay Harbor Butcher and exonerate the late Sgt. Doakes, which draws disbelief from Quinn (Desmond Harrington), Masuka (C. S. Lee) and Batista (David Zayas).  Extras include the pilot to the series Ray Donovan, and several episodes of other Showtime series.


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SO, WHO WANTS TO SEE A 30-Minute Pokemon Ballet? Good, 'Cause You're About To

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I'm guessing that when you want to introduce your kid to high-culture and artistic expression, you want to be careful to not make it boring. And taking them to a Pokemon-themed ballet performance would probably be a step in the right direction (although, personally, I think an opera-version of Showgirls would be even more excellent...but that's just me).

Now, I didn't sit through this entire video as 1) I don't have kids to train and 2) I don't care about Pokemon. But I'm sure it's filled with loads of Pokemon stuff that will make the under 10-set happy...or maybe they won't be, what do I know, when I was 10 I was forced to sit in the park and listen to classical music being played by students from the local liberal arts college until I wanted to kill myself.

Yeah, that Showgirls idea isn't looking half-bad now is it?

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Novel Performances Since THE ICE STORM

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The Great Gatsby was such an overblown hot mess that I often found myself drifting off into personal thoughts during the show.

While Jay-Z blasted on the soundtrack and flappers danced hip-hop Charleston, I was all like did I leave the iron on? and his suit isn't really all that pink.

I also tend to play the Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon game when a movie starts to disappoint.  I started with actor Tobey Maguire and branched on to the realization of something interesting.

It seems that after Ang Lee directed The Ice Storm, his key cast went on to star in at least one movie based on classic literature.  Ok, work with me here.

I don't really have an elaborite key-party conspiracy theory, but it is cool that Ang Lee did Sense and Sensibility and then adapted Rick Moody's modern literacy classic The Ice Storm, whose cast went on to do the following adaptations...


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GREAT, NOW THERE'S SOMETHING Else I Can Freak Out About...F*cking Ice Tsunamis

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So, just in case you already had your fear-plate filled with various ways you don't feel like dying (zombies, outbreak of a mutant flu-like virus, tropical ocean water attacking you because you offended Poseidon by peeing near a protected coral reef...you know, basic stuff), you might want to pull out a dessert dish because now you have something called an Ice Tsunami about to ruin whatever calm you had about snow to place upon it.

Yeah, that's right a fucking Ice Tsunami.

Apparently these things like to come at you, granted somewhat slowly to infuse a sense of harmlessness about themselves, until you, your house and all your shit have been "Frosted" (I really should trademark that Ice Tsunami phrase...).

Look nature, I don't have time to deal with this, nor do I even want to, so could we call a truce and simply have you kill me via a tornado or lightening strike? 'Cause that I can deal with.

Video of said scientific impossibility dressed up like a massive Snoopy Sno-Cone Maker tragedy after the break.

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MAD MEN: "Man With A Plan" S6E07 (recap)

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By Clay N. Ferno
Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce and CG&C have merged to handle the Chevrolet account and bring the forces of both firms together.

Not everyone is able to keep their jobs as the union comes with some redundancies. In this episode we marvel at how the higher ups at the company deal with the power shifts in the workplace and at home.

All the while, those at the bottom of the totem pole scramble to prove their worth and save their own jobs.

The story opens with the recurring elevator scene in Don Draper’s (Jon Hamm) building. On his way in to the new company’s first day, the elevator door opens to Sylvia’s (Linda Cardellini) floor. We hear her argue with husband Doctor Arnold Rosen (Brian Markinson) who is leaving his practice and headed to Minnesota. Don closes the door, just before the doctor turns the corner for the lift.

At Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce, the as yet unnamed amalgamation of the two firms is physically taking place. Peggy (Elisabeth Moss) is shown to her new office by a put upon Joan (Christina Hendricks). Joan assigns new offices to the salesmen and the secretaries.


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Contest! Win FACE 2 FACE on DVD!

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Face 2 Face is a feature length documentary that follows the 11,000 mile cross country adventure of Emmy Award winning filmmaker, Katherine Brooks (Loving Annabelle, Waking Madison, “The Osbournes,” “The Real World: San Diego”).

After major surgery, Katherine found herself feeling isolated and alone. Spending her days on Facebook, Katherine noticed she had 5,000 virtual friends, but had not had a hug in over a month. Struck with the idea that it takes more than a friend request to be a friend, she posted the status update: the first 50 people who say YES…I’m coming to your city to meet you face to face.
Within 9 minutes, Katherine had her 50.

Funded solely by 846 backers on Kickstarter, in the summer of 2011, Katherine set out on a journey that would change her life and those around her.

And we're giving away three copies!


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THE COMIC LIST: Releases For 5/15/13

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After the jump check out a list of which which comics, graphic novels, toys and other pop-culture merchandise will arrive at your local comic shop via Diamond Comics Distributors.   Please check with your retailer for availability.

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AN ANIMATED TALE Of The Beastie Boys Being Stupid Circa 1985

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PBS Digital Studios has quietly entered the internet without a whole lotta fuss, but the content they create is some of the smartest and most creative I've seen.

And their Blank on Blank series (which animates interviews with famous and infamous people) is definitely my favorite (although, to be completely honest, The Symphony of Science stuff is at a close second).

In this interview, taken from one the Beastie Boys gave back in 1985 for ABC News Radio (almost a year before Licensed to Ill turned the former punk-rock-group-turned-rappers into household names) the Boys talk about getting arrested in Virginia for profanity, the insanity of touring with Madonna, and why Chaka Khan is sucka music.

Ahh...the good ole' days.

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ONCE UPON A TIME: “And Straight On Till Morning” S2E22 (review)

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By Laura Akers
It’s the season finale of Once Upon a Time, and frankly, I expected better.

What I have always enjoyed about the show is the careful plotting, that it was obvious that Horowitz and Kitsis had planned out so much so far in advance.

The way that no detail was too insignificant.

Like the way that after an entire season of seeing Rumple in that strange leather get-up that he wore, the sort of lizard-skin thing, we find out that that outfit, one we’d gotten so familiar with that Rumple looked weird without it, is the reason Hook referred to him as the “Crocodile.”


Unfortunately, it appears that something has gone very wrong.


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ISABELLA ROSSELLINI Is Back on the Web With The New, Weird Web-Series Mammas...Your Children Will Be So Happy

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Isabella Rossellini could have been one of those model/actresses who simply coast through their professional lives as a pretty face before drifting into the ether once youth left her in a position of having to develop a personality.

But Rossellini has always been a bit different (thankfully) and that amazing character of hers (which has led her to write, direct and star in THREE very weird web-series) has resulted in not only keeping her face and name out in the public consciousness, it has also given us the opportunity to watch a beautiful woman age gracefully (instead of morphing into a grotesque version of herself in the hopes of looking like a perpetually baffled woman who appeals to dudes) and for that, this almost 40 year-old is very thankful.

But not as much as I am to see that her newest foray into science and nature (her previous shows, Green Porno- in which Rossellini acts out the reproductive habits of animals and Seduce Me- animal seduction techniques) is all about Mammas.

Well, animal maternal instincts to be exact.

And it is just as strange and enthralling as you would expect from the daughter of Ingrid Bergman and director Roberto Rossellini...if you have no qualms about animals eating their own babies.

The Hamster episode is after the break.

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BATES MOTEL: "Underwater" S1E9 (recap)

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 by Apathy Babcock
When I was young, I took a trip to Disneyland with my artist friend’s boyfriend and his friends.  On the way down, they offered me a cupcake.  If I’d had half a brain, I would’ve taken more time to consider the Alice B. Toklas sticker on the cupcake wrapper (and the source), but I was young and stupid (and not a proficient student of beat history) on my way to Disneyland. 


So I did what anyone does when they are offered a delicious-looking chocolate cupcake.  I licked the frosting off first, which was laced with pot.  I ate the whole cupcake, which was also laced with pot.  And then I scraped my teeth across the paper to get the last few tantalizing crumbs, which were all laced with pot too.  Because the digestive system works at its own pace, it would be at least an hour before I realized I had ingested the equivalent of about 10 hefty bong hits, give or take 11. 

This terrifying news hit me full force in a very crowded line for the Indiana Jones ride, kicking off the most horrific 5 hours ever  spent at a theme park.  And anyone who has been to one on a hot summer day knows that is saying a lot.  Lights, loud music, bright colors, screaming children, long lines,  shaking machinery, grown men dressed as animals, throbbing hypnosis and the horrifying seemingly endless question of, “when will this nightmare ever end?!”

So when I saw the cupcake waiting for Emma in the Bates Motel office, a peace offering from one of the motel’s wayward pot-processing seasonal laborers, I knew it wasn’t going to go well for her. 


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