Mother Nature...You Ignorant Slut,
Because of you and your insistence on sun, sun, sun, this year's corn and soybean crop has been decimated, leading to little baby pigs dying like flies and not reaching the maturity needed to slice them open and eat off of their carcasses like we're supposed to.
AND NOW THERE'S GONNA BE NO BACON...
Or, really, there will be a shortage of it, causing the price of back fat to soar like an eagle and make it difficult for the average Ebeth to afford it.
Great, now I'm going to have to sell my body on the street in order to get me some of that sizzling meat.
You can suck it Mother Nature and suck it hard.
Source: LA Times
