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The Hell?... |
Back before everyone had cable and access to the soft-porn stable of flicks on Skinamax, we kids of the 80s would hunker down in front of huge 19" televisions and watch After-School/Schoolbreak Specials that would educate us on the various horrors of being a teenager.
These episodes highlighted teen pregnancy, drugs, alcoholism and yes, bed wetting, but there was one very "special" episode that chose to delve into a subject that no teenager had ever spoken of out loud before; Violent Gang Dance-Fights.
Oh Sweet Jeebus, how we children suffered...
Like the main character of Horace Hobart- not to be confused with Nabokov's character Humbert Humbert- in Ace Hits the Big Time, we too would occasionally enter a brand new school wearing an eye patch due to Pink Eye and had to join a school gang called The Purple Falcons because they thought we were super tough.
Seriously, this happened a lot.
Oh, and yeah, we were also "discovered" by a movie producer who wanted to use The Purple Falcons in a movie about GANG MEMBERS (which pissed off another gang of thugs who thought THEY should be in a movie) and then we had to participate in THE FUCKING DANCING which involved spin kicks to the face while a synthesizer played in the background.
Needless to say we were very happy that an After-School Special had been made discussing how horrible and mentally abusive this was to us so that we could finally move past all the spandex and headbands.
And now, friends, may I share with you the show that saved a generation, Ace Hits the Big Time:
(Here's just the dance-fight scene, the whole movie is below)