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THE JAMES BOND ARCHIVES: Delve Deep Into 007 Trivia With This Ultra-Fan Tome

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 This is definitely a James Bond year, what with the release of Skyfall on Nov. 9th and the 50th anniversary of Mr. Shaken, Not Stirred being celebrated in almost every form of nostalgia.

But this amazing 600 page book from Taschen not only delves into the fantastic tale of the womanizing British spy who likes to kill for Crown and Country, it also burrows itself deep into little known facts and trivia about Mr. Bond that even the most ardent fan will be in awe of.

Want a little taste of the innards?

The James Bond Archives ($200) will fill your martini loving soul with the following info:  

1. Celebrating the 50th anniversary of the most successful and longest-running film franchise in cinema history! 

2. Made with unrestricted access to the Bond archives, this XL tome recounts the entire history of James Bond in words and pictures. 

3. Among the 1,100 images are many previously unseen stills, on-set photos, memos, documents, storyboards, posters, and designs, plus unused concepts, and alternative designs. 

4. Behind-the-scenes stories from the people who were there: producers, directors, actors, screenwriters, production designers, special effects technicians, stuntmen, and other crew members. 

5. Includes every Bond film ever made, from Dr. No (1962) to Skyfall (2012) 

6. Special bonus included with the first print run of the book only: an original strip of film from Dr. No

If your pants aren't moistened yet, then you're probably a maniacal evil-doer who plans to destroy the world.

Source: Uncrate



Otaku Lounge: Anime Characters Worth Hating

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Ironically, the idea for this particular article came to me as I was mulling over two of my favourite anime – Evangelion and Eureka Seven.

Characters like Shinji Ikari and Renton Thurston have copped a lot of flak over the years, mostly because they fall squarely into the “whiny little bitch” category.

I’ve met people who didn’t like Evangelion solely because they hated Shinji, and people who couldn’t get into Eureka Seven because they found Renton too annoying to handle.

In fact, I’d go so far as to say that these kinds of characters (i.e. introverted or angsty ‘un-mannish’ males) are among some of the most hated of archetypes within their respective fandoms in the West.

Granted, neither Shinji, Renton, or any other character who falls into the so-called emo grouping are especially likeable (unless of course they’re a bishounen like Naruto’s Sasuke or Itachi, in which case being a fan is apparently okay).

Then again, how about I kill off your mother, have your dad abandon you as a toddler, turn him into a creepy megalomaniac who’s trying to resurrect his dead wife and end the world as we know it, and then see how well-adjusted you are?

Ditto with someone like Renton, who has no parents, a mysteriously missing older sister, lives in a small town with a grumpy grandfather as his legal guardian, and has few, if any friends.

Just as importantly however, both Renton and Shinji are 14.

You can call them whiny and you’d probably be right, but frankly, about 90% of the 14-year olds I know of could be described as whiny – and that’s assuming their dad isn’t named Gendo.

It seems to me that people don’t dislike characters such as Shinji and Renton because they’re whiny so much as they dislike them because they’re semi-realistic.

But I digress. What I’d really like to know is, why are anime fans not saving their hatred for characters that are truly worth it?

Today I want to go over a few anime characters who are actually deserving of your loathing and/or contempt.

Also, because it’s the guys who tend to get most of the fan abuse for being useless and annoying, I’m going to make this the all-girls addition.



Marina Ismail – Gundam 00

Okay, so clearly the space mecha/Gundam franchise has a thing for famous singers.

There’s Lynn Minmay from Macross, who wins a beauty pageant and then literally ends the war by singing. Then there’s Lacus Clyne from SEED whose career as an idol singer is probably thanks to her enhanced genetics. And in 2007, we got a singing princess who not only lacks kick-assery but does pretty much nothing for the entire series except comfort orphans. Marina doesn't even have a decent excuse for singing like Lacus did – she just does it. Repeatedly. While solving absolutely nothing, despite the fact that all she ever talks about is the terrible problems in the world. Which, for some reason, fail to be resolved by her singing. Who’d have thought?

Sakura – Naruto

Naruto has a fairly enormous cast so statistically, I suppose someone from the show had to make the list (that, and I don’t know Bleach or One Piece well enough to pick a character from those). I’ve been informed that Sakura actually Does Stuff later on in the series, but after 100-odd episodes (what can I say, I once had a really boring summer vacation), I can’t really bring myself to care. Essentially, Sakura’s role for those 100 episodes is to attempt to hit on Sasuke while snubbing her nose at every other eligible male character, and get beaten up a lot. Because apparently, her ninja abilities are about as ineffective as her personality. No wonder Sasuke left town.

Bulma – Dragonball Z

I’m going with Dragon Ball Z specifically here because a) I never watched the monstrosity that was GT and b) her character demonstrates exactly what I was talking about in the first couple of paragraphs of this article. Bulma is just as whiny and clingy in Z as she is in the original Dragon Ball series, but whereas she’s 16 years old in her first incarnation, she’s nearly 30 at the start of the sequel show. Yet she still has exactly the same personality, complete with painfully shrill voice and childish temper tantrums. I suppose at least her character has some vague purpose in the series – she’s the sciencey chick that helps find the dragon balls. While I get that most of the men in the show are too stupid to do anything for themselves that involves any kind of technology, couldn't they have just... I don't know, trained a hamster or something? Meanwhile, Bulma’s main role during the Frieza Saga is to get turned into a frog.

I think that pretty much says it all.

Flay Allster – Gundam Seed

For once, I’m totally with the fans on this one.

Was there ever a Gundam character I wanted to shove out the airlock more than Flay? ... Nope. There really wasn't. The thing is, Flay isn’t just stupid and emotionally needy – she's also consciously malicious with it. When she isn't holed up in her room crying over anything and everything, she's busy bonking (or attempting to bonk) anyone who she feels could be useful to her needs. When she actually gets rejected after her feminine wiles fail her for a change, she basically has a mental breakdown and becomes unable to function on any level at all. Flay is the epitome of cold and manipulative bitch, and no, I don’t think she manages to redeem herself at the end. Also, her death was not worth avenging.

Yuka – Elfen Lied

Most of the previously mentioned characters pale in comparison to how much I hate this character.

It’s difficult to even know where to start.

Yuka is desperate and needy enough that she dumbs herself down by choosing a poorer university choice over her own original preference, solely to get closer to Kouta. She reacts with sudden and physical violence and often completely irrational jealousy whenever any female gets emotionally close to her cousin, despite the fact that Yuka never makes a move herself.

The worst part is, she actually succeeds in the manga version of events and wins the guy, eventually marrying him and having a daughter. That baby is going to be screwed for life, and everyone other than Yuka and Kouta himself (who is simply too stupid to know, bless him) realises it.

If I ever wrote Elfen Lied fanfiction, it’d be an alternative universe in which Lucy dismembers Yuka and then leaves her to be eaten by seagulls.


Smallville: Random, Awesome and WTF?! - S8E21: Injustice

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Clark has some problems when Chloe finally decides that the world needs to be rid of Doomsday after all, and trailing them all? 

Plastique, Neutron, Livewire, Eva, and Parasite, Tess Mercer’s own little team is back in action.

And is that really Chloe, after all? 

That is the question, now isn’t it…

The Random:
1. Oh, learned a little lesson, did you, Chloe?  Well it’s about damn time.  Who’d have thought Doomsday was someone you couldn’t trust after all, right?

2. Ollie and Tess’ little will they or won’t they again romance is a great part of the show, even better when one of them is playing the other as part of a larger plan.  That’s just sweet lovin’ in the making.

3. Dr. Hamilton doesn’t mess around when it comes to providing transportation for our heroes, now does he?  A powerless Clark still has to feel a little better about things driving a Lamborghini to save the day.  I know I would.

“All right, all right.  I’ll steal from Tess.  But I’m going
to do it my way: naked.”


The Awesome:
1. Man, Tess just keeps making it easier and easier to forget that Lex has left the show, pulling strings and pushing buttons left and right, and all but telling Clark to sack up and do his thing.  Oh, and she’s got her little Suicide Squad in on the fun.  That’s my girl.  Oh, and who’s been pushing her in the right direction?  Just a little someone from a little place called Kandor…

2. Tess’ team plays their role well, drawing Kryptonite infected individuals from the show’s past into a single unit and that and Clark’s reference to the black Kryptonite Mama Kent once used on him are good reminders that the show hasn’t exactly forgotten the mythos that’s been built throughout nearly eight seasons now and it’s still relevant.

3. How does Ollie save the day and defeat Parasite?  Why, with a Kryptonite ring, straight from the Batman playbook.  They may not have been able to get Batman on the show, but they sure as hell made Green Arrow cooler than he’s ever been.

Gotta love a good old fashioned villain team-up…

The WTF?!:
1. Clark does a 180 on killing Doomsday and Oliver just takes him at his word.  Really?  After all you’ve seen and all the times you’ve tried to convince him to take Doomsday out you think he’s just going to be, out of the blue, all cool with the plan?  Geez, Ollie.

2. Did Clark really thing Plastique wasn’t going to go off the deep end when he told her that Tess betrayed them?  Seriously, the girl who was always like two steps from blowing up a city?  Stupid pills.  That has to be it.  Some unknown villain put stupid pills in the town’s water supply.

3. During this entire time, the question that’s never really answered is where Chloe and Doomsday really are.  Because if Doomsday went nuts on the Suicide Squad, that means he was fully Hulked out in the middle of nowhere and Chloe was supposed to be by his side all the time, sooooo….  Yeah, that’s where we all are now.  Where the hell did they go, and why isn’t that a main concern right now once Chloe was found to have really been a shapeshifter?

Plastique: Just as crazy, just as hot.



The MAN FROM HONG KONG Presents 10 Slices of Classic Kung Fu Action! THE MAN WITH THE IRON FISTS Companion: Part 1

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November 2nd 2012 sees the highly anticipated release of the RZA's long awaited directorial debut The Man with the Iron Fists, starring Russell Crowe, Lucy Liu, RZA, Byron Mann, Daniel Wu, Cung Le and many more.

The film is very much his love letter to the kung fu movie genre, so Forces of Geek's Man from Hong Kong brings you a quick reference guide to some of the films that have been an influence on the movie and RZA himself, and would be well worth tracking down to further your enjoyment...

10 Slices of Classic Kung Fu Action!
a THE MAN WITH THE IRON FISTS Companion: Part One!




The Victim 
(orig. 身不由已; Shen bu you ji)


An early directorial outing for Sammo Hung who also stars in the film, the kung fu comedy which was also known as Lightning Kung Fu in some territories is one of the roles that made a star out of Bryan Leung (Leung Kar-yen) who appears in a cameo role in The Man with the Iron Fists as the Hyena Chief. Leung's Iron Cross style of fighting in this film is used by RZA in his movie to pay tribute to both the film and Leung Kar-yen.


A rich man with a kind heart takes in a suffering homeless orphan named Chun Yau.

The man’s spoiled/jealous son does not take well to his new stepbrother.

Chun Yau grows into a righteous martial artist played by Bryan Leung. Likewise, the jealous son grows into a bitter gang leader, essayed by Chang Yi. The jealous son holds a grudge against his stepbrother because Chun Yau stole his girlfriend. Now, Chang Yi has made it his goal to hunt down Chun Yau and his bride, Yu Ti prompting the newlyweds to spend their lives together running in fear from the gang leader.

But one day Chun Yau runs into a bumbling tough guy named Fatty (Sammo Hung), who immediately challenges him to fight. Chun Yau quickly dispatches of his aggressor, prompting Fatty to set himself up as Chun Yau’s pupil. Apparently Fatty has promised his ancestors that he shall learn proper Kung Fu by training under the man who beats him (and Chun Yau is the first to do so.). However, Chun Yau and his wife are trying to keep a low profile and they want nothing to do with Fatty, as all he does is attract attention. Fatty, meanwhile, can’t help but wonder why such a great martial artist lives in fear.

With his stepfather at death’s door, Chun Yau and his wife go to pay final respects to his ill-struck adopted father.

As Chun Yau enters his father’s room, he finds himself surrounded by Chang Yi’s men. They let Chun Yau speak with his stepfather as the old one expires. Chang Yi appears to be mourning the death of his father, but as soon as Chun Yau leaves his stepfather’s room, Cheng Yi orders his men to attack his stepbrother. Fatty arrives in time to help Chun Yau fight off the gang members.

Chun Yau’s wife can no longer handle the pressures of life on the run, and she begs Chang Yi to stop the violence and she will leave Chun Yau and live with him.

She tells her husband she is sick of life on the run and that she will stay with Chang Yi. Chun Yau is shattered and leaves a broken man, followed by the faithful Fatty. But Yu Ti really does not plan on spending her life with her hated admirer. After Chang Yi calls off the price on Chun Yau’s head, Yu Ti commits suicide rather than succumbing to his desires. The death of Yu Ti only serves to fuel the flames of hatred between these two men. Chang Yi hires martial arts assassins (including Wilson Tong) to deal with his stepbrother.

A plan is composed by Yau and Fatty that leads in the immortal words of Joe Bob Briggs to Kung Fu City!

There's a widely available Tai Seng DVD release of the film which features an at times informative if muddled commentary featuring Ric Myers and former Hong Kong stuntman Robert Samuels, while if you can find it the Eastern Heroes release does feature a letterboxed original language print.


Five Deadly Venoms: Pick your poison!


Five Venoms also known has Five Deadly Venoms or Ng Dook/ 五毒 in Cantonese is without a doubt one of the greatest cult kung fu movies ever produced by Shaw Brothers, legendary director Chang Cheh was at the helm while Chang and real life Wing Chun master Leung Ting collaborated on story ideas for the project.


The film was listed at number 11 on Entertainment Weekly's Top 50 Cult Films list and features the memorable characters known as the Venoms, five kung fu fighters with unique animal styles, The Centipede, The Snake, The Scorpion, the Lizard and the Toad.

The dying master of the powerful Poison Clan dispatches his last pupil on a crucial mission. Worried that the skills he has taught are being used to evil ends, he orders Yan Tieh to trace a retired colleague and warn him that the fortune he amassed from the clan's activities is under threat from five of his former pupils, each an expert in his own lethal combat style. Yan must discover the whereabouts and true identities of these masked warriors, and decide which, if any, he can trust to join him in his mission.

Styles
Each of the Poison Clan is alternatively referred to as either their venom style code name, or as their number in regard to the order of being taught by the master (except Yan, who is never referred to as "Number 6", nor has any particular animal style). Among fans, he is known as "Hybrid Venom," as his training contains a little bit of each of the five styles, but it is incomplete, and he must align with one of the venoms to stand a chance against any of the others.

Number 1: Centipede 
Wriggly and quick, this style is a nice blend of defensive and offensive posturing. The strikes are so fast that it is almost as if he has a hundred arms and legs. The weakness of this style as revealed by Yan Tieh (told by his master) is to attack both the opponent's upper and lower body in a simultaneous assault.

Number 2: Snake 
On one hand: the mouth, venomous fangs emulated in precise finger motor control. On the other: the stinging whip of a rattling tail. Masters of this ability can even fight extremely well while lying on their back from the floor. The weakness of this style as revealed by Yan Tieh (told by his master) is to stop the "head" and "tail" (the opponent's two arms) from combining, as neither the head nor tail can function well individually.

Number 3: Scorpion 
The scorpion represents a double threat! Kicks from the Scorpion style are just like the stinging tail of the namesake. When delivered by a master, a single kick can paralyze or even kill, let alone the strong pincer-style attack of the arms to contend with. The weakness in this style is not clearly revealed as Yan Tieh is cut off from his explanation but one can assume (by watching The Scorpion in his bout with Yan Tieh and The Lizard) that it would be to stay out of reach of The Scorpion's damaging kicks and make him come to you.

Number 4: Lizard
An emphasis on speed and gravity, the Lizard style is best known for the ability to walk on walls, and can fight with ease from such positions.

Number 5: Toad 
Toads don't do much, but they are tough. That is the essence of this style, a primarily defensive pose. The Toad is invincible to just about any form of attack, including blades and puncture. They can even bend solid metal. The weakness of this style is that any master of the Toad style has a "weak spot" that when punctured, drains the user's Toad style benefits (most notably the iron skin.) Number 5's weak spot were his ears as shown in his fight with The Snake, when The Scorpion secretly struck his ears with his darts. Apparently, the easiest way to discover the weak spot in one's Toad style is to use an Iron Maiden.


The film stars Chiang Sheng as Yang Tieh, Sun Chien as Gao Ji the Scorpion, Kuo Chui/Phillip Kwok as Meng the Lizard, Lo meng as Liang Shen the Toad, Wei Pei as Qi Dong the Snake and Lu Feng as Zhang the Centipede, these five action actors would become known as the VENOMS after this movie, and would play in a great many of Chang Cheh's movies over the the course of his career.

Five Deadly Venoms has been referenced numerous times in films and much, including the works of the Wu-Tang Clan, with Masta Killa sampling the films music on his album No Said Date, and in Kill Bill, the five members of the Deadly Viper Assassination Squad is of course a reference to the VenomsYuen Woo-ping's True Legend features a villain who uses the Five Venoms Fist and even Kung Fu Panda where the Furious Five are a reference to this film.

The film received a DVD release from Dragon Dynasty in 2009, its a beautiful print and yet despite various interviews with the cast and crew including Leung Ting, Kwok Choy, Wang Lung-wei, Wei Pei & Lo Meng being shot, they weren't included!


Crippled Avengers: The Return of the Five Deadly Venoms


Crippled Avengers is a 1978 Shaw Brothers kung fu film directed by Chang Cheh and starring four members of the Venom's team. It has been released in North America as Mortal Combat and Return of the 5 Deadly Venoms.

The film follows a group of martial artists seeking revenge after being crippled by Tu Tin-To (Chen Kuan Tai), a martial arts master, and his son (Lu Feng).

Return of the 5 Deadly Venoms sets the tone of vengeance from the opening scene.


Chu Twin, a master of tiger style Kung Fu, returns home to find his wife murdered and his son crippled having his arms cut off from the elbows down. Chu Twin has iron arms constructed for his son and trains him in the art of Kung Fu. Even though Chu Twin and his son, Chu Cho Chang, got murderous vengeance against their wrong doers they were still filled with bitterness and evil.

During Chu Twin’s reign over his village, he and his son crippled four men. These atrocities would set the stage for a classic Kung Fu film about brotherhood and bloody revenge.

The town blacksmith, Mr. Wei, was forced to drink a liquid to make him mute, then was deafened by a two-handed ear clap delivered by Chu Twin himself.

Mr. Wei had mouthed off earlier in the tavern because he wanted to sit upstairs but Chu Twin and his entourage occupied it. After Wei was forced to leave the tavern, a traveling hawker was blinded by the iron fingers of Chu Cho Chang for supporting the same sentiments as Wei.

Another traveler who wishes to hire the blacksmith has his legs chopped off below the knee at the orders of Chu Twin, who had declared the blacksmith’s business off limits.

One day a young Kung Fu master known as Yuan Yi comes to town and discovers the tortures committed by Chu Twin and goes to avenge the three crippled men. Yuan Yi is good, but he is young master, and alone is no match for Master Twin, his son, and his best strong arm, Mr. Wan. Yuan Yi is defeated, and bound in chains.

Chu Twin turns him into an idiot by crushing his head in an iron head vice.

Together the now four disabled men travel to Yuan Yi’s master’s temple, where they are trained in Kung Fu.


Each heightening his remaining senses to compensate for his individual disability. Wei, deaf and mute, learns sign language to communicate and wears reflective bands so he can see what he can’t hear. The hawker’s ears become his eyes, with the pin point accuracy to hear a leaf falling and stick it with a dart. Mr. Wei outfits the legless gimp with prosthetic iron legs and feet. Yuan Yi needed no further training, for he was already a master, however his Kung Fu was now more like Idiot Fu, constantly laughing and playing while fighting as if he were playing a child’s game.

The four men make plans to return to town on Chu Twin’s 45th birthday and exact their revenge. Mr. Wan, Chu Twin’s enforcer, hires other Kung Fu masters to stop the unlikely heroes. The other masters, though very strong, underestimate and cannot stop the four.

In the final fight extra long fight scene the four misfit masters defeat Chu Twin and Chu Cho Chang, however Yuan Yi, the master of Idiot Fu, is killed sacrificing himself for another, all the while giddily laughing like a child.


Return of the 5 Deadly Venoms is a classic Hong Kong Kung Fu film, making full use of the genres tell tale qualities of vengeance, loyalty, and brotherhood. Produced by Sir Run Run Shaw this film is Kung Fu through and through.

With the theme of revenge, long fight scenes, training and the overcoming of strife, comic relief, and the final freeze frame shot symbolizing brotherhood and loyalty with the three remaining heroes walking away, hands joined and raised in victory.

RZA's character in The Man with the Iron Fists by the finale boasts metalic arms styled very much in the style of  Chu Cho-chang's in this film.


Dragon Dynasty released a slick presentation of the movie on DVD a few years ago, lacking in extras but it is a slick pristine print.


The 36th Chamber of Shaolin


(少林三十六房, Shào Lín sān shí liù fáng), also known as The Master Killer and Shaolin Master Killer, is a 1978 Shaw Brothers film, directed by Liu Chia-liang and starring Gordon Liu.

The film follows a highly fictionalized version of Sann-Te, a legendary Shaolin martial arts disciple who trained under the general Chi Shan, portrayed by the director's adopted brother Gordon Liu.

36th Chamber of Shaolin is widely considered to be one of the greatest kung fu films and a turning point in its director's and star's careers. It was followed by Return to the 36th Chamber, which was more comedic in presentation and featured Gordon Liu as the new main character with another actor in the smaller role of San Te, and Disciples of the 36th Chamber.


A young student named San-Te  is drawn by his activist teacher into the local rebellion against the Manchu government.

The government officials suppress the uprising and destroy the school, killing friends and family members as well. San Te seeks vengeance. Wounded in an attack by Manchu henchmen, he flees to the Shaolin Temple,  and seeks training in kung fu.

Initially, the Buddhist monks reject him, since he is an outsider, but the chief abbot takes mercy on the young man and lets him stay. One year later, he begins his martial arts training in the temple's 35 chambers and advances more rapidly than any previous student.


However, as San Te nears the end of his education, the temple officially exiles him in a surreptitious way to allow him to aid the people against the oppressors. He returns to the outside world, namely to his hometown, and assists the people by teaching them martial arts. Before the political revolution he is inspiring to complete, he is forced into conflict with the Manchu governor.

Finally, he triumphs and returns to the Shaolin temple, where he establishes the 36th chamber, a special martial arts class for laypeople to learn kung fu.


36th Chamber of Shaolin also widely known as The Master Killer is widely considered to be one of the greatest kung fu movies ever made, making a star out of leading man Gordon Liu (Liu Chia-hui) whose career continues to this day.  Most recently Liu appeared in dual roles in Kill Bill, and playing the role of the Abbot in The Man with the Iron Fists.

The film received a DVD release by Dragon Dynasty in 2007, and features commentary by the RZA and an interview with Gordon Liu.



TO BE CONTINUED...


Contest! Win COPPER: SEASON ONE on Blu-ray

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In 1864, he was New York's finest.

Executive Produced by Emmy-winner Tom Fontana, Academy Award-nominee Will Rokos and Academy Award-winner Barry Levinson, Copper is a gripping crime series set in 1864 New York City, filled with intrigue, corruption, mystery and murder.

In a time when disorder and mayhem are the law of the land - Kevin Corcoran is New York City's finest. An Irish-American former boxer turned cop, Corcoran returns from the Civil War to find his wife missing and his daughter dead. Corcoran seeks justice for the powerless in the notorious immigrant neighborhood of Five Points. Bonded by battle to two Civil War compatriots - the wayward son of a wealthy industrialist and an African American physician - Corcoran is thrust into the contrasting worlds of elegant and corrupt Fifth Avenue and the emerging African American community in Northern Manhattan. The three men also share a secret from the battlefield that inextricably links their lives forever. 

And we're giving away three copies.


To enter, please send an email with the subject header "COPPER" to geekcontest @ gmail dot com and answer the following question:


Copper co-creator Tom Fontana previously executive produced this police series set in Baltimore starring Richard Belzer, Clark Johnson, Yaphet Kotto and Andre Braugher?

Please include your name and address (U.S. Residents only. You must be 18 years old).

Only one entry per person and a winner will be chosen at random.

Contest ends at 11:59 PM EST on November 25th, 2012.


THE STORY OF LIFE IN JUST A LITTLE OVER A MINUTE

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 The science behind the hows and whys we came to be can be a little daunting for the layman (and apparently, a whole lotta politicians), but lucky for us, the Symphony of Science people have made the all the science stuff easy to process in a video that takes about a minute and a half.

Which, I find, is the exact amount of time most Senators in Washington give to any and all science agendas.


Source: Geeks Are Sexy


GEEKY PARENT: Create An Awesome Superhero Photo Booth For the Kids And Enjoy Being Parent of the Year...For About Two Seconds

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 Wanna swim in some well-deserved praise from your hell spawn?

Then perhaps you would be interested in creating a superhero photobooth for your demon seed to while away the hours in as you snap pic after pic that can be used later on for embarrassment purposes.

All it takes is a blue sheet, some cereal boxes painted to look like buildings, a cloud pillow (or you could paint one on paper) and a few superhero outfits the little rug rat can slip into.

Then have that little bastard lay on the sheet and stretch out so it looks like they are flying and snap a few pictures:


Not only is it an easy way to keep those good-for-nothings occupied when the weather is bad, you can then frame the resulting pics as gifts for family members who get off on shit like that (Hello cheap holiday presents).

See, sometimes I do give you good ideas.

Source: BabyCCinco Kids


50 SHADES OF BACON Is A Book About Cooking Bacon...And, Quite Possibly, About Spanking Some Bacon

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 Look, I get that people are all a quiver about fictional characters putting their mouths in places that one is supposed to keep covered, but are we really going to start publishing cookbooks about sexing up God's favorite meat product?

Well, I guess we are.

From what I gather, 50 Shades of Bacon features 62 pages of pictures and recipes that requires the tasty back fat to strip down to its underoos and subject itself to the sexual whims of mac-n-cheese and deviled eggs (which will somehow culminate in a delicious meat-food that will purportedly make you orgasmic).

Now, I don't know what the aphrodisiac properties of pasta shells are but I'm pretty sure that putting it in the section "Afternoon Delight" will not make me peel off my sweatpants and rub it over my body...even if bacon is in it.

But, judging by how many people love anything with the title 50 Shades in it, I'm guessing that mom porn is gonna make an appearance at the dinner table.

Source: Red Ferret



WTF FRIDAY: Nightmare Fuel From Crooked Rot

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 Thank God this week is over because I'm tired and ready to start over.

Here's you WTF moment...I'm going to get a drink.


BE LIKE BLAKE: The 'Workaholics' Bear Coat Is Now Available To Keep You Warm and Snug This Winter

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 Short of hollowing out Mark Paul Gosselaar and wearing him this winter, I have to say that wrapping myself inside the carcass of a bear just might be my favorite way to keep all warm and cozy when the weather turns bitter.

And lucky for me, that dream has become a reality now that Blake's infamous bear coat from Workaholics is about to be released upon an unsuspecting population come December.


Now, I don't know about you, but to me, nothing says style like a giant bear head on top of your noggin so you can rest assure that this chick is pre-ordering her coat today...I'm gonna look so good on New Year's Eve.

Source: Geek Alerts


BOOK REPORT: Book News For The Week of November 4th

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Booksellers' Post-Storm Posts 
Get the booksellers viewpoint on Hurricane Sandy and how they weathered the storm.

Booksellers Storm Back 
Learn which bookstores were open the day after Hurricane Sandy and how they did it.

Penguin Random House
It is now official that Random House and Penguin Books, two of the publishing giants and so called "Big Six," are forming a joint venture.

Sony's Virtual Book Club 
Sony has started a new virtual book club, featuring a new book each month with an online meeting through their site, an interview with the author and more.

The Power of Amazon 

If you've ever felt a little unsettled with the power Amazon has over you with your Kindle library, you may want to skip this article.

Amazon, Arizona Reach Sales Tax Settlement 
Beginning next year anyone buying from Amazon and delivering to Arizona, like a number of other states, will be required to pay sales tax.

And the Mountains Echoed 
A new book from Khlaed Hosseini, author of the bestselling Kite Runner and Thousand Splendid Suns, is due out May 21, 2013, called And the Mountains Echoed.

11 Nanowrimo Books That Have Been Published 

November kicks off National Novel Writing Month (Nanowrimo) and here are 11 books that authors have published after writing them for Nanowrimo.  The goal of Nanowrimo is to write a 50,000 word novel by the end of the month.

Best Books of 2012 
Publishers Weekly presents their round up of the best book of 2012.


THE WHISKEY ADVENT CALENDAR...Finally, Father Xmas Has Answered My Prayers

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 When I was growing up my mother would buy an advent calendar to countdown the days until the red-suited fat guy would give us presents (ahhh, the wonders of a mixed religious background) and, because, she enjoyed torturing her children by forcing them to do her bidding all for the glorious chance at a stale chocolate reward hidden behind a perforated paper door.

Needless to say, I have a love-hate relationship with any calendar that promises a treat if I happen to make it through the day, but then came this wonderful gift that will certainly brighten up those days before the horror show of Xmas...The Whiskey Advent Calendar.

For twenty-four drunk-ass days, The Master of Malt advent calendar will reward you with a .33oz shot of various whiskeys (including one that is a 50 year-old beauty that will go down thick and warm) that will no doubt ease you gently into the holiday spirit despite your hatred of happy rosy-cheeked Gentiles gloating about how many decorating options they have while you have to shop from an end cap in the back corner of the store.

Who could ask for anything more?

Source: Incredible Things


Presidential Candidates Endorsed By The Mystery Box

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Like many a good upstanding citizen of pop trash culture, Friday night monster movies and Saturday morning cartoons, it has always been a bit of a task for me to embrace most political candidates, yet for my entire life, ever since I was eligible, I have taken part in voting at every election.


I guess I watched Robert Redford in The Candidate a few too many times, so between that film and the fact that the majority of politicians that I have known personally have been sketchy, self serving egomaniacs out to fill their own slimy pockets, sort of makes one a bit suspicious and cynical of the whole process in general.

Still, as I write this on the eve of the next American Presidential election, I will vote and hope for the best, and wish that perhaps the winner will be a person that, if I were given the opportunity, is a person you could sit down with over a beer to talk about which Funkadelic or Rolling Stones album is best.

In keeping with the spirit of the great MAD Magazine, here then from Mystery Box H.Q. are my own "usual gang of idiots" picking some candidates we wished had won in the past or in tomorrow's election...


Horror Host LegendZacherley


Not only one of the greatest Horror Hosts to come out of the early Silver Age of Television, Zach released some wonderful LP recordings, has stayed in it for the long haul and in person is among the nicest gentlemen to ever wear a Ghoulish Glow.


El Vez


El Vez, the self-proclaimedMexican Elvis, continues to run as a Presidential candidate for each election as he mightily tours the world creating a sensation and bringing on fainting spells wherever he touches down with his large musical fiesta. Once again, in person, he's a sweetheart who has had his golden lamé suit exhibited in The Smithsonian along with other notable Hispanic musical greats such as Richie Valens.



Though on the surface El Vez seems like something that is a light-hearted good time, in actuality his lyrics are heavy, often very political and address pro-Latino issues. El Vez is certainly one of the good ones.


Godzilla (with running mate, Mothra)


Team Kaiju makes for a great pairing when it comes to some major ass-kicking on controversal issues. Both are extremely pro women and pro monster, plus they have some really cool friends in high places that can weigh in from time to time when an important bill needs to be smashed...I mean passed.

Frank Zappa


The late musical genius and leader of The Mothers Of Invention was not only a man that could talk circles around most human beings, he also put thought behind his words with a clear logical sense that is rarely heard from typical politicians engaged in their usual double-speak.


Frank's autobiography is among the greatest you can read, and had he been given the chance (he almost got in to politics for real via his good friend, the late Václav Havel, when Havel was President of the Czech Republic, but our government put the kibosh on that one at the time) he really may have made for a wonderful President, chain-smoking cigarettes aside.




Alfred E. Neuman


Alfred E. Neuman has been associated with MAD Magazine since his likeness first appeared with them in 1954. Soon after he was already being touted as a Presidential candidate.

There's a great site that details all the qualifications for MAD Magazine's figurehead called Hypocrisy Today with one of my faves written at the time of the election of our 43rd President, "He's just as smart as the other candidates and twice as popular."


Howard The Duck

With his slogan "Get Down America!" Howard ran on his All-Night Party ticket, and while he never did catch a win, the details of his nomination contain a storyline as convoluted and containing as many "interesting" and sordid characters as a real Presidential election (for instance Dr. Angst, Tillie the Hun and The Spanker).

 
Plus, how can you not feel some sympathy for a duck that was snatched from his home planet and dropped in the Florida Everglades by Thog The Overmaster?


Curly Howard


Truth be told, I would throw my full support behind any of The Three Stooges. Shemp, Larry, Moe, hell, even Joe Besser would bring something to the position.

Did someone say massive pie fight in The White House?


Redd Foxx



As the late, great Fred Sanford would say "I ain't voting for no dummy!"

Here we had a candidate who not only would have been the first black President, imagine having Aunt Esther as his running mate. The first black/woman Vice President smacking shifty congressmen upside the head with her purse.


W.C. Fields


In 1940 this book was written by Fields and published as a selection of humorous essays collected in the form of a campaign speech. 

To be honest, this still holds up now as a really funny and wonderfully written book. Almost seems as if it were written for some of today's candidateswith lines like "If he knows nothing else, a President should at least understand the secret of success in the business world. For, after all, what is the Presidency but a glorified business - or, at least, a fine racket?"


The Hulk
 
Hulk ran in 2008, and while he didn't win, his campaign stickers still hold that he was a great selection.

Until next time, have a happy election folks and let's all hope for the best in 2012!!





TURN YOUR KID'S CRAPPY ART WORK Into A Book That Only Grandma Can Stomach

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 Long gone are the days when the only people who had to look at your child's stupid drawing of a house were those getting something to drink from the fridge. Now, thanks to the technological dawning of flickr, instagram, tumblr and Facebook, we all get to take a gander at Little Johnny's precious paintings of rabbits that look like giant piles of turds.

But you know what, I'm pretty sure that there's one person on the planet who would love a collection of your hell-spawn's doodles and that human being is Grandma.

So, maybe instead of posting an entire art gallery's worth of stick figures that your offspring drew while on the toilet, you could, perhaps, gather up all those paintings/smearings and send them to a company (Plum Print) who will make a book out of them. You know,so the rest of us don't have to feel like assholes for not "Liking" your kid's fucking demented scribbles (then you can give that book to G-Ma and everyone would be much appreciative).

Think about it.

Source: Kid Crave


The Pull List: SUPERMAN: EARTH ONE V.2, FATALE #9, HAPPY #2 & More!

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Check out what I checked out this week.

Whether the comics are inspiring or disappointing, I read them all.

Welcome to The Pull List.

And, as always...Spoilers ahead!

Superman: Earth One Volume 2 (Pick of the Week)
Writer: J. Michael Straczynski
Art: Shane Davis
Publisher: DC Comics
Price: $22.99

Superman, the pop culture icon who inspired a generation with truth, justice and the American way, is too boring and unrealistic for people today.

I understand that argument.

He solves the world’s problems with an ease that borders on arrogance. It’s hard to relate to this perfect being that has all the answers.

DC Comics attempted to make him more relatable in the new 52 by creating a slightly less powerful version of the original that comes across as a punk kid instead of Earth’s greatest hero.

Michael Straczynski has brilliantly composed a story about a budding hero who is trying to find his place in the world.

This is a Superman title, but it is Clark Kent who takes center stage in this follow up to part one released two years ago.

Last time, Clark was looking to find his place in the world and felt that a journey with a sense of purpose would be the ticket.

Now, that he has found his path, his struggle for normalcy has become more difficult.

Straczynski’s masterful storytelling goes back and forth between flashbacks and present day events to carefully craft a more emotionally charged Man of Steel. The Superman most of us grew up on was black and white, while this version is filled with shades of grey, and that enables him to be able to make the decisions the original never would.

The more things change, the more they stay the same, and those same things are constructed with more detail than ever before.

Time and time again we've seen how government feels about Superman. “We can’t trust an alien” is the usual song and dance, but the script takes the simplicity out of the equation. Military are intimidated over this strange visitor because he is from another world but they feel that someone with so much power can only fight on the side of good for so long until absolute power corrupts, absolutely. The script also shed light on how American’s feel about illegal immigration which justifies the military’s fears because Superman is the ultimate immigrant.

Parasite is the villain this time around and they went with the Raymond Maxwell Jensen version.

Jensen is a thief who craves power. A lab accident turns him into the purple life force stealing monster that goes on a rampage until an encounter with Superman gives him his most satisfying absorption of power. After this, no other source of energy will do; and his insatiable appetite weakens Superman to the point where he could lose his powers permanently.

The execution of this was compelling to a fault because Superman always finds a way to beat Parasite, but this time he is weakened to a point where you wonder how he could ever obtain victory. Clark’s struggle weaves its way into this facet of the story because the possibility of a life without powers may give him the normal life he is looking for.

Metropolis' most popular residents return while the greatest criminal mind of all time rears his ugly head and a new character named Lisa Lassell shakes up Clark’s love life as his sexy redheaded neighbor.

While the usual suspects have a short but lasting impression on the plot, Lisa’s role is significant and touches upon uncharted Superman territory. You know, sex. It’s is bound to bring up mixed emotions as reading about Superman’s sexual concerns could be revealed to be anything but super. His abilities make it difficult and maybe perhaps impossible to partake in this natural and normal part of life and if he can’t, how can he ever find a sense of normalcy?

So, let’s talk about Shane Davis, shall we?

The best word to describe his art would be "exquisite". His depictions perfectly convey the emotional tone set by Straczynski on every page. Everything is drawn for a reason and there isn't a single inch of panel space that is wasted. The action scenes are vibrantly fierce with sharp detail that makes you feel everything is unfolding live and in living color. Davis’s work is not mentioned in the same breath as Jim Lee or Alex Ross, but his work is just as elite and I hope to see him on some monthly titles in the future.

A friend of mine once told me he hated the movie Superman Returns because the title character didn't throw a single punch in the film. While there are lots of reasons to criticize the film, he brought up a good point.

People want the Superman who can punch Darkseid the length of two continents. While Straczynski’s approach could come across to some as emo, the DC Comics reboot and the reported darker direction of next year’s Man of Steel film heavily suggests the corn-fed Boy Scout is gone. If this version of the last son of Krypton is not the new definitive one fans want, this is certainly the closest to as good as it gets.

No matter which side of the fence you are on, this second installment of Superman: Earth One will receive even more praise and vilification as its predecessor.

Grade: A+


Wolverine & the X-Men #19
Writer: Jason Aaron
Art: Nick Bradshaw
Colors: Laura Martin
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Price: $ 3.99

One of the great things about Jason Aaron’s writing is his ability to insert humor into a serious situation.

With the resurgence of the mutant population, the Jean Grey School for Higher Learning needs a new instructor.

This is a serious problem that met with absolute hilarity as Kitty Pryde interviews various members of the Marvel Universe.

There is a lot going on in this book, but it easy to follow and fun to read. Nick Bradshaw produced some gorgeous artwork that was perfect for the tone of this book.

It’s safe to say Jason Aaron is at the helm of the most entertaining X-Men book going today because he is able to bring something different and exciting to the table each and every month.

Grade: A

Batman: Li’l Gotham #1
Writer: Dustin Nguyen & Derek Fridolfs
Art: Dustin Nguyen
Colors: Dustin Nguyen
Publisher: DC Comics
Price: $0.99

I’m usually not a fan of seasonal comic books, but this comic is fun, fun, fun.

This digital exclusive is a steal at only one lousy dollar.

It is Halloween night in Gotham City and Damian goes trick or treating for the first time while Batman explains the origin of this candy seeking holiday.

Villains such as Bane and The Riddler are able to enjoy the festivities without drawing attention because everyone is in costume.

One of the many illustrations that will put a smile on your face is Damian holding up a piece of candy in disdain because it was the only piece he was given.

This is the first of a series of digital comics that will be released around the holidays and this Bat-fan will be back on turkey day!

Grade: A-

Fatale #9
Writer: Ed Brubaker
Art: Sean Phillips
Colors: Dave Stewart
Publisher: Image Comics
Price: $3.50

Just like Mark Waid’s Daredevil, I keep waiting for the day where Fatale will finally fall below expectations.

Ed Brubaker’s luck has to run out sometime, right?

Not this time.

The Method Church has murdered poor Suzy, but Miles and Josephine don’t know that. This makes their search for her interesting to watch unfold because the reader knows something they don’t.

Each issue moves one step closer towards the discovery of Josephine’s secret while throwing out more questions at the same time.

No one depicts dark and creepy better than Sean Phillips and his work in this issue is just another example of why he perfectly complements Brubaker’s script.

If you haven’t read Fatale yet, then please do so, like yesterday. All you will get is quality storytelling and quality art in spades.

Grade: B

Star Wars - Darth Maul: Death Sentence #4
Writer: Tom Taylor
Art: Bruno Redondo
Colors: Michael Atiyeh
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Price: $2.99

If you need to be reminded how evil Darth Maul is, look no further because you found it right here.

While this miniseries provided no monumental shift in the Star Wars universe, it did the job it set out to do.

Darth Maul duels with Jedi master Judd, who looks like a mix, between a blue dinosaur and a young Jedi whose hands he chopped off in the first issue.

Seeing this injured peace keeper make fun of Maul’s robotic legs, as the Sith lord gets madder and madder, was a sight to see.

This is Darth Maul you are making fun of. Do you remember that he lopped off his hands with a single swipe of his light saber?


Grade: B

Happy! #2
Writer: Grant Morrison
Art: Darick Robertson
Colors: Richard P. Clark
Publisher: Image Comics
Price: $2.99

We pick up right where we left off in the first issue.

Nick is trying to escape a mob hospital while coming to terms with the fact that a blue, buck tooth unicorn named Happy is real.

This was a good head scratcher because it makes the reader question if Happy’s existence is fact or fiction.

If it wasn't for Happy, the story would be bland at best. Darick Robertson’s art is the best of the week and depicts an ugly world with no redeeming qualities.

It’s odd that Happy, who looks like a children’s cartoon character looks surprisingly normal among all of the grit, swearing and blood splatter.

Mr. Grant Morrison is two for two with this new creator-owned series.


Grade: A-

Winter Soldier #12
Writer: Ed Brubaker
Art: Butch Guice & Brian Thies
Colors: Bettie Bretweiser
Publisher: Marvel Comics
Price: $2.99

This is a tension filled issue that has everyone in panic mode.

Bucky’s dilemma has caused him to revert to his old Winter Soldier programming in exchange for Black Widow’s life.

Captain America called Wolverine in to assist with slowing down Bucky while S.H.I.E.L.D. can determine what the programming wants Bucky to do.

Wolverine is the narrator and it was refreshing to hear an outsider’s prospective of things.

Butch Guice’s noir style images are solid as always.

Overall, I’m really going to miss Ed Brubaker when he leaves this series as I can’t picture anyone else doing this series justice.


Grade: B+

Here are some titles that didn't make the list but may just tickle your fancy.

Masters of the Universe: The Origin of Skeletor #1 (DC Comics) 
This book dives into Skeletor’s life before he ruled Snake Mountain and the tragedy behind his skull face.

Bedlam #1 (Image Comics) 
 A serial killer story about crazy guy named Madder Red who slaughters people simply because he can. Solid first issue but I’m wary of the books staying power.

The Rocketeer Cargo Of Doom #3 (IDW Publishing)
The Rocketeer soars into action to subdue Dinosaurs trampling all over 1930’s Los Angeles.



A YEAR IN COLOUR: A Friggin' Beautiful Animation With Moleskine Planners

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 At the start of every year I buy one of those thick Moleskine planner/calendars that I hope will be filled with thoughts, ideas and appointments. But by February it dawns on me that I have no real thoughts or ideas, and the only appointments I need to write down are those involving my irritable bowels, so I give up and fall into a deep depression.

AND I DO THIS AGAIN AND AGAIN.

But that's okay because thanks to this awesome animation featuring various Moleskine planners and journals, I now know what I can do with all those slightly filled tomes of disappointment...tear them to pieces.

I feel so much better now.


Source: NotCot


Contest! Win PRODIGY by Marie Lu

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Prodigy is the long-awaited sequel to Legend, the must-read dystopian novel for all YA fans of The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins and Divergent by Veronica Roth. A brilliant re-imagining of Les Miserables, the series is set to be a global film sensation as CBS films have acquired rights to the trilogy.

June and Day arrive in Vegas just as the unthinkable happens: the Elector Primo dies, and his son Anden takes his place. With the Republic edging closer to chaos, the two join a group of Patriot rebels eager to help Day rescue his brother and offer passage to the Colonies. They have only one request—-June and Day must assassinate the new Elector.

It’s their chance to change the nation, to give voice to a people silenced for too long.

But as June realizes this Elector is nothing like his father, she’s haunted by the choice ahead. What if Anden is a new beginning? What if revolution must be more than loss and vengeance, anger and blood—what if the Patriots are wrong?
And we're giving away three copies!

To enter, please send an email with the subject header "PRODIGY" to geekcontest @ gmail dotcom and answer the following question:

What Victor Hugo novel is the inspiration for the Legend series?

Please include your name and address (U.S. Residents only. You must be 18 years old).

Only one entry per person and a winner will be chosen at random.

Contest ends at 11:59 PM EST on November 25th, 2012.


About Legend


What was once the western United States is now home to the Republic, a nation perpetually at war with its neighbors. Born into an elite family, fifteen-year-old June is a prodigy being groomed for success in the Republic's highest military circles. Born into the slums, fifteen-year-old Day is the country's most wanted criminal. But his motives may not be as malicious as they seem.

June and Day have no reason to cross paths - until the day June's brother, Metias, is murdered and Day becomes the prime suspect. Caught in the ultimate game of cat and mouse, the two uncover the truth of what has really brought them together, and the sinister lengths their country will go to keep its secrets.

About the author


Marie Lu writes young adult novels, and has a special love for dystopian books. She likes food, fighter jets, afternoon tea, happy people, electronics, the interwebz, cupcakes, pianos, bright colors, rain, Christmas lights, sketches, animation, dogs, farmers' markets, video games, and of course, books.

She left Beijing for the States in 1989 and went off to college at the University of Southern California. In her past life, she was an art director in the video game industry, but now she writes full-time.

Visit the Official Site
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Sneak Peek: First Look Trailer For DA VINCI'S DEMONS

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Check out a first look trailer of Da Vinci’s Demons, an original series penned by David S. Goyer (Batman BeginsThe Dark Knight, Man of Steel) that will air on STARZ Spring 2013.

Starring Tom Riley (“Monroe,” I Want Candy), as the title character, Da Vinci's Demons is a historical fantasy, following the ‘untold’ story of the world's greatest genius during his turbulent youth in Renaissance Florence. Brilliant and passionate, the twenty-five year old Leonardo Da Vinci is an artist, inventor, swordsman, lover, dreamer and idealist. As a free thinker, with intellect and talents that are almost superhuman, he struggles to live within the confines of his own reality and time. He begins to not only see the future, but invent it.


The Top 10 Events in The Life of HELLBOY!

THE HEATHCLIFF AND DINGBAT SHOW (dvd review)

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Warner Archive / Released August 14th, 2012


The Pitch
The sassiest, frassiest, classiest cat, Heathcliff, jumps from the comic strip to the TV screen in the first of his animated adaptations and is joined by the silliest trio of monsters ever seen, the aptly named Dingbat and the Creeps. The feline half of the show is pure classic Heathcliff high jinks, with the highfalutin’ low-livin’ tomcat living the life while romancing Sonja, avoiding the dog-catcher and tormenting Spike. And as an added soupcon of catnip, Heathcliff is voiced by the legendary man of 1,000 voices, Mel Blanc!

Meanwhile, a dog heads up the second half, but this is no common canine. Dingbat is a vampire dog, who with fellow Creeps the fat skeleton Sparerib and teamleader Nobody, a talking jack-o-lantern, makes up the strangest service biz ever seen, Odd Jobs, Inc. So grab a seat and get ready for the funniest antics this side of alleyway and graveyard in this complete 2-Disc, 13-Episode collection.

The Review
Heathcliff anchored this short lived series (which led to the character's solo series) which featured the comic strip cat, who was a far more clever feline than the obese lasagna eating Garfield.  The series focused on Heathcliff, his girlfriend Sonia and Spike the dog.  All in all, a pretty faithful adaptation with some fairly clever writing within pretty standard situations.

The co-feature starring Dingbat was the surprise.  A supernatural series, Dingbat was a vampire dog and his supporting cast included a shape-shifting "big boned" skeleton Sparerib and Nobody a jack o'lantern with feet.  Together they run a business called Odd Jobs, Inc. which they operate from their customized motorcycle with a haunted house on the back.  This segment is far more unconventional and as a result, a bit more entertaining.  There's a bit of a warped undertone to the series, that make it's brief run understandable.

Produced by Ruby-Spears, both series contained fairly average animation (which was common for it's time; the early Eighties), but is actually fairly funny.  Voice work is spectacular and a major reason for this set's success; Among the talents participating are Mel Blanc, June Foray, Frank Welker, Avery Schreiber and Don Messick.  Extras are non-existent.  The Heathcliff and Dingbat Show certainly satisfies the nostalgiac viewer and is sure to make new fans for younger viewers.  Recommended.


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