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PIZZA HUT UNVEILS IT'S LATEST MONSTROSITY: The Cone Crust Pizza Packed With Cream Cheese and Honey Mustard Chicken

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Once again Pizza Hut has invented a food stuff that is not made to be consumed by human beings but, luckily for us fat-ass Americans, the Kingdom of Hut has dropped this whopper of a garbage pizza over in the Middle East so as to render them immobile from HEAPING CONES OF CREAM CHEESE.

Now, I have no idea if this newest Weapon of Mass Digestion is meant to get the good people of the Middle East addicted to Western cuisine so that they become obese like us or if Pizza Hut has a plan to take over the world like Pinky and the Brain and are just starting at the other side of the earth before moving their way over here.

Either way, I'm scared.

And, judging by the commercial below, you should probably be as well.


Source: Gawker



HEY, DID YOU KNOW THAT EXTREME UNICYCLING IS A THING? Me Neither

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Once reserved primarily for clowns and jugglers (this is true right?) unicycling has started down the path to legitimacy through what is being touted as the newest freestyling trend in urban areas (whatever the frak that means).

Judging by the following video, this sport mostly appeals to dudes who can't afford a whole bike, but I'm hopeful a chick will soon follow their lead and appear as a token in some X Game-like competition sponsored by Massengill (I'm certain there has to be young girls yearning to sit on a seat attached to a wheel and are only waiting for a female athlete to show them the way).

Hollywood take note, if this sport becomes uber popular you might want to think about remaking the the 1986 BMX bike flick Rad.

I know I would probably pay good money to see a movie about a unicyclist wanting to compete in a race known as Helltrack rather than take his SATs (The plot of the original movie...so awesome).


Source: Geekologie


THE ZOMBIE SONG: A Love Song About a Zombie Girl and a Human Guy...Ahhh

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Illustration by Beyx


This is one of those catchy songs that will get stuck in your head for days at a time but it won't annoy you in the slightest. Instead it will filter throughout your brain until your whole being is filled with Zombie love and you're seized by a deep need to eat someone's noggin.

Which, interestingly, is how I think the whole Zombie Apocalypse will begin...through pop music.

So sit back and enjoy one of the most adorable videos about flesh desire that I have seen in quite some time.


Source: Geeks Are Sexy


The Con Job Part I of II—The Baltimore Comic-Con Revisited

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Once a year in Baltimore, reality takes a break and madness descends downtown at the Convention Center and, surprisingly—especially this year—it’s not due to one of the political parties.

Nope, I’m talking about the Baltimore Comic Convention, that place of wonders where comic fans can come as they are, which usually means dressed in the costumes of their favorite heroes and villains, and their most beloved characters from page and screen, while unsuspecting tourists and city residents look upon them with confusion, sometimes even fear because, let’s be honest, seeing a bunch of overweight guys traipsing down West Pratt Street dressed as the Justice League hardly instills feelings of safety.

It’s a glorious time of the year and once again I made the forty minute drive—and spent almost as long looking for parking—to be among the creators and creative, to join my nerdy and geeky brethren for hours of mirth and merriment along with my patient and understanding wife and our hyperactive and over stimulated daughter.

Now that’s a family outing.

In a world where superheroes and supervillains can get along,
there’s gotta be some hope for the rest of us…

Last year was my first trip up to Baltimore and it was a bit haphazard.  I didn’t know what to expect, how things were laid out, or how much like a Middle Eastern bazaar it was with people haggling over comics and boys.  And, I’m pretty sure at one point, a first born.  Oh well.

This year?  This year I was like the goddamned Batman.


And that meant I had a plan.

The first step in the plan was getting into character. 

Last time out, I played it safe.  I have the sewing and technical skills of a toddler, at best, so making a real costume was out of the question.  Seriously, some of these people make costumes that had to have cost a small fortune and involved either countless hours taking various clothing courses or a basement converted to a temporary sweatshop.  I’m totally hoping for the former.

Knowing my limitations, I simply shaved my head, put on a purple shirt and one black glove and became Lex Luthor because, let’s face it, if I was going as anyone, it was going to be a criminal genius.

I inexplicably had to urge to swindle some land…

But this year, I wanted to do something a little bit more, but obviously not too much more because, again, I’m a total moron when it comes to costume making.  Going down the villainous path once more—and, really, that’s totally got to say something about me, right?—I chose Ra’s al Ghul, adding immortality to the criminal genius motif.

This involved going to a salon for the first time in my life, which was something I was a bit unprepared for.  If you’re going to charge me $45 to do my hair, I damn well better need a cigarette afterwards.  But, alas, the price of being a comic fan!  It’s all right, I just added it to the cost of my 80+ comic book pull list for the month that feeds the addiction.

If Ra’s al Ghul and Jon Stewart ever have a kid,
I’m totally playing that part.
 
Putting the rest of the costume together was fairly simple, though I didn’t do the cape because the cost would have been inane.  Still, for a day, I got to be Ra’s and I was joined by Melony and Anastasia as Robin and Batgirl.

Someone had suggested that Melony be Talia but even in a fictional setting, I couldn’t handle having my wife play the part of my daughter.  That was too West Gotham for me.  The fact that I’d rather her dress in a costume traditionally worn predominantly by young boys was still somehow less disturbing. 

Go figure.

And now I’ll never look at Robin the same way again…

When we finally did arrive, Anastasia’s mind was officially blown. 

Last year, she had just turned two, but this year, at three years old, she was so much more aware and excited and every minute was met with a scream of, “Look, Daddy!  Iron Man!,” and, “Hey, Daddy, it’s Joker!”  As a dad, not only was I full of pride at her picking Darkseid out of a lineup, but I was also so happy to share this whole wonderful experience with her, just as each Wednesday we head to the comic shop together.

She’ll no doubt rebel against me in her teens—a rebellion I intend to crush with an iron fist as Ra’s no doubt would, mind you—but for now, she’s my little girl, thrilled to be by my side in the comic book community.

And fighting crime.  Don’t forget fighting crime.
My plan for this year’s Con wasn’t just about a costume, however.

Oh no, I needed to streamline my creator hunting.  I obtained a layout of the event days in advance and mapped out my plan of attack to maximize my meetings and autographs, this year armed with my own copies of comics so I didn’t have to waste time and money purchasing them there.

It was like planning the invasion of a small country and, by gum, I was going to be victorious.

And I was.  Well, more or less.

By now, you’ve probably noticed this column is the first of two parts.  So since this is a monthly column, that means part two is next month, right?

Wrong!

Brace yourselves, folks, because in true comic book fashion, it’s crossover time! 

Later today, part two will be found on the other site I write for, www.NerdtopiaCast.com, at the following hyperlink under "latest posts."

That’s right, it’s the historic first ever meeting between the two sites, an encounter to rival the classic Flash of Two Worlds, so be sure to get the rest of the story, a harrowing tale of triumph and tragedy at no extra cost to you faithful readers, and join in on the history making event just a few clicks away!

Please.  My story is so much more exciting.
That guy shouldn’t have been juggling girders in the first place.



THERE ARE TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE IN THIS WORLD, Those That Won't Watch This Supercut of A Favorite Movie Cliche and Those That Will

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There are all kinds of people in this world but if you believe the movies, we can all be boiled down into two distinct and very opposite teams.

Now, if I follow that line of logic then I wanna be on whichever team chooses to capture and then repeatedly snuggle with Nathan Fillion until the cops come.


Source: Gizmodo


Geek Spasm: The Art of Film

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I confess I don’t know much more about art than the average Joe.

I recognize the greats, know the important historical trivial tidbits and have some perspective, but everything I’ve ever learned about the subject I likely learned at the movies.

Here is an exhibit of indelible paintings featured in some of my favorite films.

Just for shits and giggles, see If you can you guess the film from the painting.



1.  A lonely and troubled teen stares upon “A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte” by Georges Seurat, focusing in on the eyes of his young pointillistic counterpart.

 

2.  A double-sided piece by Wasilly Kandinsky, “Several Circles” and “Black Lines, ” representing chaos and control. A charming, well-rehearsed hustler impresses a Manhattan power couple by admiring it.



3. Portrait of the Duke of Wellington by Francisco de Goya. Famously stolen in 1961. Before it was eventually recovered in 1965, it popped up onscreen in the underground lair of a megalomaniacal villain.



4.  While not the specific focus of this nimble gallery heist caper, “The Son of Man” by René Magritte serves as the inspiration for its clever hide-and-seek climax.



5.  “Vagina.” by Maude Lebowski. Flung together violently, Pollack style, while strapped into a harness, yanked along a zip line. 

(Granted, some of these clues are a bit more obvious than others.)



6.  “East/West/Whaddaya Want From Me?” by Mrs. DeVito. 

’Nuf said.


Answers after the jump!



  1. Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
  2. Six Degrees of Separation
  3. Dr. No
  4. The Thomas Crown Affair
  5. The Big Lebowski
  6. GoodFellas


WTF DID I JUST WATCH? Witness the Power of the Dance-Fight In This 1985 CBS Schoolbreak Special 'Ace Hits the Big Time'

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The Hell?...


Back before everyone had cable and access to the soft-porn stable of flicks on Skinamax, we kids of the 80s would hunker down in front of huge 19" televisions and watch After-School/Schoolbreak Specials that would educate us on the various horrors of being a teenager.

These episodes highlighted teen pregnancy, drugs, alcoholism and yes, bed wetting, but there was one very "special" episode that chose to delve into a subject that no teenager had ever spoken of out loud before; Violent Gang Dance-Fights.

Oh Sweet Jeebus, how we children suffered...

Like the main character of Horace Hobart- not to be confused with Nabokov's character Humbert Humbert-  in Ace Hits the Big Time, we too would occasionally enter a brand new school wearing an eye patch due to Pink Eye and had to join a school gang called The Purple Falcons because they thought we were super tough.

Seriously, this happened a lot.

Oh, and yeah, we were also "discovered" by a movie producer who wanted to use The Purple Falcons in a movie about GANG MEMBERS (which pissed off another gang of thugs who thought THEY should be in a movie) and then we had to participate in THE FUCKING DANCING which involved spin kicks to the face while a synthesizer played in the background.

Needless to say we were very happy that an After-School Special had been made discussing how horrible and mentally abusive this was to us so that we could finally move past all the spandex and headbands.

And now, friends, may I share with you the show that saved a generation, Ace Hits the Big Time:

(Here's just the dance-fight scene, the whole movie is below)







SAVE YOURSELVES! Predicted Bacon Shortage Will Lead to Chaos and Mass Destruction...And That's Just In My House!

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Mother Nature...You Ignorant Slut,

Because of you and your insistence on sun, sun, sun, this year's corn and soybean crop has been decimated, leading to little baby pigs dying like flies and not reaching the maturity needed to slice them open and eat off of their carcasses like we're supposed to.

AND NOW THERE'S GONNA BE NO BACON...

Or, really, there will be a shortage of it, causing the price of back fat to soar like an eagle and make it difficult for the average Ebeth to afford it.

Great, now I'm going to have to sell my body on the street in order to get me some of that sizzling meat.

You can suck it Mother Nature and suck it hard.


Source: LA Times



Why Love the '90s: Nooooo Macarena!

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Dictionary.com defines ‘Macarena’ as, “a dance performed in a group line or solo and following a rhythmic pattern of arm, hand, and hip movements in time to a Spanish song.”

Urbandictionary.com defines ‘Macarena’ as, “The deadly disease that crippled 98 percent of the world back in 1996. It was quickly cured and went away fast though.”


As a fan of the 90s and corniness in general, most would probably assume that I would be in favor of such 90s crazes as the Macarena. 


However, the opposite is true. 

To this day, a decade-and-a-half after Macarena-mania nearly destroyed the free world, I can honestly say I really, really, really dislike the song and dance that came with it.

What got me thinking about this dark moment in my favorite decade was attending a 25th wedding anniversary party over the weekend. 


It was a fun time celebrating a good-hearted couple who my family and I have known for a very long time. There was good food, some nice guests to hang out with and even a DJ and a dance floor. 

It was great...until the Macarena came on. 

As it started to blast from the speakers, dozens, many qualifying for an AARP membership, filled the dance floor, sticking their arms out and initiating one of the worst dances in the history of mankind. 

Here are a few thoughts that raced through my head:
“The Macarena...seriously?”
“How common is it for this song to still be played at parties like this one?”
“I know the dance isn’t so complicated but I can’t believe these people, a decade and a half after this song got so big, can do the dance without even thinking about it.”
“Is there anything more awkward than watching people do The Macarena?”


My honest answer to that last question is, no, there is nothing on this Earth that is more awkward than watching people, live in person, performing the dance. 


As a 4th and 5th grader during the pinnacle of Macarena mania, I can remember passionately disliking this song. The moves were easy to do which meant that everyone and their grandmother would do the dance at every function where there was even a remote chance of any dancing taking place.

But why? 


Why did this song and dance become such a cultural atom bomb? 

There is no way anyone can look cool doing the Macarena under any circumstances. I truly believe that every single person who does this dance, even if they are usually great on their feet, looks like a fool. Fred Astaire and Michael Jackson could combine to form the greatest dancer in the history of the world, but if he did the Macarena, he would look much like the middle aged folks who I saw over the weekend.  

Frankie, thoughts?

Ah yes, the Macarena.

The song and accompanying dance were the product of a Spanish lounge act, Los Del Rio, who somehow managed to prop up their career for a decade through numerous remixes and rerecordings of that song. And yes, it was every bit the cultural phenomenon T.J. described, grabbing radio and television play like Pac-Man devouring little pellets.

The song was everywhere and there was no way to stop it.


Perhaps the Macarena was the greater of several evils, but it was far from the only catastrophe to mar dance music in the '90s.

Sure, fads like these happen in every decade.

Perhaps it was just the time, that period of youth that seems to amplify every memory. As our parents and grandparents can tell us about the hustle and the cabbage patch, the mashed potato and indeed, the twist, so can we tell our younger siblings and children about the Macarena, and the Scatman.

Okay, so that last one wasn't a dance, but a man and a song...a very grating song.

That song was the best-known product from a man by the name of John Paul Larkin.

Music history knows him best, however, under the name "Scatman John." He took that name after a couple of decades kicking around as a jazz pianist. A history of stuttering as a boy inspired him to record a song encouraging children to push through their own adversity. That profound wisdom in song? The phrase, "Ski-Ba-Bop-Ba-Dop-Bop."


Alright, to be fair, a couple of verses actually addressed stuttering, and Larkin's stuttering in particular.

He punctuated his inspirational messages with the line, "If the Scatman can do it, so can you," which was quoted a lot among a few of my friends. That's strange. When I think about it, I wonder why the Scatman came up so often. I'm...worried now.

I totally came into this bit intending to bag on the Scatman, but even though the song is entirely preposterous, the story behind it uplifting enough that I can't totally dump on Scatman John. His sincerity shines through on the track, even if inspirational pop songs were a waist-deep cliché in the '90s. (I see you there, Sounds of Blackness.)

The same can't be said for Lou Bega, whose Mambo No. 5 burned up the charts at the end of the decade, i.e. at which point I should have known better. Yes, Mambo No. 5 was so ubiquitous, even I sang along to it.

The song is so silly and arguably terrible it feels like something I listened to in middle school, but no, I was a freshman in college.

Lou Bega never really grew up in the Latin music tradition.

Hell, he didn't even grow up Latin, being of German and Ugandan descent. His sole original exposure to the music was during the year and a half he lived in Miami as a teenager. Around that time, Bega was working on sustaining a rap career, but when he left Miami for Munich, he hooked up with producers to synthesize the sounds of mambo.

To Lou Bega, mambo sounded a little bit like Monica, Erica, Rita and Tina.


And it's a catchy song, like the best and most irritating pop songs.

Bega doesn't sing so much as rap on the track, which is fine considering his background. There's a bounce to the song, which is fine considering it was sampled from an earlier song also titled Mambo No. 5.

There's really no reason to think it wouldn't be a huge hit, but my God was it inescapable, to macarena levels.

Unlike the macarena, however, Scatman and Lou Bega faded into obscurity stateside, though they continued to enjoy a degree of success overseas. Scatman continued to record until his death in 1999, and Lou Bega...well, he just released his fourth album two years ago. Los Del Rio, meanwhile, broke up in 2007.

Like I said, every decade has its novelty hits, but the '90s have managed to produce more with some unholy measure of staying power.

For better or worse, we'll always have Mambo No. 5 and the macarena.

Then again, it gave us this clip.


I gotta give the macarena a lifetime pass for that.


Here A Shaggy, There A Shaggy… Oh, So Many Shaggy’s

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There’s an old saying that I’m just now making up that goes, “If you catch lightning in a bottle, empty little drops into more bottles and mix it up. Then you’ve got, like, more bottles of lighting!”

The bottle-captured lightning I’m referring to is Scooby-Doo. 

Its formula of a tight group of friends, an anthropomorphic star/sidekick, some adventures, some bubblegum pop music playing behind scenes of the characters running (often times past the same background image several times) continues to be as successful today as it was when it premiered in 1969.

“It’s weird. I mean, they’re running straight, but they’ve passed that same lamp 7 times, already.” “Well, maybe the villain just really wanted to decorate using that lamp. It’s a nice lamp.”

In the entertainment world, a hit show is rare.

When a premise works, the natural inclination is to continually copy that idea over and over (and over), until the public bands together and storms the television studio carrying torches and pitchforks.

Hanna-Barbera, which is Latin for ‘We sometimes have an original-esque idea’, had in Scooby-Doo a ratings hit and, most importantly, a merchandizing bonanza.

What do you do when all of the Scooby lunchboxes have been sold that are going to be sold?

You create a new show that is basically the same, that’s what!

The Funky Phantom was a take on the Scooby formula, but with a twist.

The twist was that ghosts are real and not always someone going through an elaborate scheme involving real estate development.

A group of teenagers with no discernable source of income, a cool car and a talking dog solve mysteries with the help of two ghosts. Mudsy, a Revolutionary war-era ghost, aids the gang with the help of his talking, dead cat, Boo.

As it turns out, all other ghosts in the Funky universe are, in fact, someone going through an elaborate scheme involving real estate development. In order for them to discover this, of course, they have to get the “ghosts” to slip up and reveal themselves. Now, I’m not a paranormal investigator and don’t claim to know the first thing about ghosts, but it would seem that either Mudsy or the talking, dead cat could just pass through the “ghost” and discover the truth. I mean, if either Mudsy or Boo passed through and see, say, organs and a beating heart, then said ghost is, in fact, not a ghost, but a scheming human. 

“Gosh, even with us all crammed in here, there’s still room enough to swing a dead cat. Whoops, sorry, Boo.”

Sadly, the one true ghost turned out to be the show itself.

It died after only 17 episodes.

Taking what worked with Scooby-Doo and learning from what didn’t work with The Funky Phantom, Hanna-Barbera came up with Speed Buggy.

If you’ve never seen an episode of Speed Buggy, here’s the basic premise: Three teenagers (one that looks like Shaggy’s twin brother, one that looks like Daphne’s older sister and one that is Fred with black hair) have an anthropomorphic dune buggy. While travelling from race to race (where they presumably race), they solve mysteries. Mysteries and crimes are rampant in the Hanna-Barbera worlds. Now, HB cartoons never come out and say cops are useless and inept, but it’s sort of implied.

“This is a cease and desist letter from a Shaggy, Daphne and Fred ordering you to stop being them. You can keep your goggles, though, Not Shaggy.”

Speed Buggy was somewhat cowardly, had a funny voice and always came through in the end.

Still, this Scooby-Doo on wheels couldn’t capture the audience adoration and died (was murdered?) after 16 episodes.

The Scooby-Doo formula didn’t work with dead cats and it didn’t work with a dune buggy, so HB went back to basics with Goober and the Ghost Chasers. The title, which is a clever way of HB telling its audience, ‘Hey, we’re just gonna stop trying, altogether’, takes fans back to what they presumably wanted.

Goober is an anthropomorphic dog *sigh* that solves mysteries *of course* with the help of a group of *here we go* teenagers. Goober had the ability to turn invisible and did so when he was scared, which happened often because mysteries are everywhere and ghosts are forever in abundance. Among Goober’s friends are a Fred-type named, of all things, Ted; a Daphne-type named Tina and a sort of Shaggy-Daphne hybrid named Gillie.

“Like, I’m a love child of Shag and Daphne? Zoinks!”

Despite such guest stars as Wilt “I had 20K lovers” Chamberlain, neither Goober nor the Ghost Chasers were able to save themselves from a short life of 16 episodes.

Goodnight, sweet Goober. We hardly knew ye.

Because HB didn’t know the meaning of the phrase ‘stop trying’, Shaggy’s DNA once again gave birth to a clone named Clamhead. Along with anthropomorphic great white shark Jabberjaw, this group of mystery-solving teenagers played in a band… under water.

Repeat: played in a band… under water.

And they solved mysteries… under water.

Apparently, lots of criminals who were too inept to commit crimes on land, invariably turn their nefarious deeds to the only other place available… under water.

“Hey, Jabberjaw, I was wondering… How is it that you can breathe so well out of water? I mean, you spend most of your time indoors.”

Despite the adorable factor of a great white shark in post-JAWS pop culture, Jabberjaw couldn’t make the leap to icon that Scooby had.

After 16 episodes, Jabberjaw’s undersea rock ‘n roll lifestyle had played itself out. It is assumed by most (me) that Jabberjaw then ate Clamhead and the others.

Sadly, no one missed them.

Television and movie studios both will continue to recapture the magic and popularity of a successful franchise as long as there are unimaginative people who want to make money. That’s harsh, actually. It’s a business and businesses exist to make profits. As with anything that requires the public’s adoration to thrive, you just keep pounding away until something works. Once it does, you stick with it.

“Hey, gang. This isn’t a ghost, at all; it’s Mr. So and So from that thing earlier. Wait… is anyone else getting déjà vu?”
In this case, HB recycled a premise, but they did make a few fun shows.

They didn’t live long, but they were innocent and charming fun.

And they made Shaggy clones. Lots and lots of Shaggy’s.

So very many Shaggy’s.

During a game of Truth or Dare, Velma dares Shaggy to kiss Fred, a well-known homophobe, as passionately as he might a salami and peanut butter pizza burger. 



FOG! Chats With MATT WAGNER About Legendary Comics' THE TOWER CHRONICLES

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In just over a decade, Thomas Tull's Legendary Pictures has become a force to be reckoned with in the entertainment industry.  Since 2005 Legendary has co-produced and co-financed over three dozen films for Warner Bros. including Christopher Nolan's Dark Knight trilogy, Inception, Watchmen, The Town, 300, The Hangover, and the upcoming Man of Steel and Pacific Rim.

Now, after an announcement over two years ago at San Diego Comic Con, fans can get a chance to see Legendary's first original effort.  Book One of The Tower Chronicles: GeistHawk, a 68 page OGN from comic legends Matt Wagner, and Simon Bisley under a cover by Jim Lee, will be in stores tomorrow.


I had the opportunity to chat with Matt about the project, his own creations and his place in the comic industry.

What was the genesis of The Tower Chronicles

Well, Legendary Entertainment wanted to set up a comic book division and made the very smart decision of reaching out to Bob Schreck to be their editor and chief.

Bob of course has a long and storied history in the industry and has a long storied history with me.
We go back to… I think the second Ice Age in fact, and Thomas (Tull) had an idea for a character and asked Bob to find him a writer who he respected and was accomplished, but would also not be just a “yes man."  He wanted someone who would come in and give as good as he got and challenge Thomas on ideas that he had. So I was the first guy who Bob called and they flew me down to Burbank, and we had an initial meeting and everything went just swimmingly. We got along great and yeah, there were a few ideas that I had to say – “okay no, we can’t do that one”.

Truthfully, the general outline was just that, a general outline; it was an idea for a character, it had some cool shit, but what was missing was a real sense of humanity and an over-arching story.

I said, “Thomas, this is all great. We have this cool, badass tough-as-nails supernatural bounty hunter, but we have to give a damn about him. There has to be a core backstory there that will engage readers and will and help empathize with the character."  So, I think we got that.

As we continued to develop the story, it seemed evident that it was going to be too big of a story for a single graphic novel.

We then decided to bring out a trilogy, and part of that was again, we developed this really terrific deep and richly textured backstory for the character. But we also didn’t want to skip any of the exciting, cool, contemporary stuff you know? As I said to Thomas, " if he’s fighting monsters – I want to see him fight a lot of monsters, I don’t want to see him fight just two monsters."  So we did a lot of that.

And again, the main character is very kind of aloof and mysterious but as the story continues to unwind the many layers of his mystery are slowly peeled away and we get to find the reason behind why he does what he does.

I know you only got to read the first 18 pages (Editor's Note: I've since read the entire book, which is fantastic), but in the first volume which is 68 pages, you know we see him confront of a variety of threats . We keep getting this idea that, it’s not really his purpose – it feels more like the means to an end. He is after something else, but we don’t know what it is yet. He’s after that thing, and the way he pursues it is by hunting monsters, and what could that possibly be?

That’s the core of our story.

What do you think really makes the character of ‘John Tower’ so unique?

The one thing that runs through all my characters, what makes them unique and yet binds them together is all my characters have a common humanity and again, there has to be some human emotion there that you identify with.


You know if you live with this sort of character – you know, you asked what makes them unique – these sort-of characters in these sorts of story lines can be somewhat ubiquitous.  But, if you look at a character like Batman, if you look at Clint Eastwood’s various taciturn tough guys; underneath all that kindt of ‘aloof coolness.’ There’s a burning passion there that readers and viewers kind of pick up on, that they are troubled by some kind of usually tragedy, and that is what drives them to desperate means which these are in.

And again, I think that in the end, the backstory we have for Tower makes him unique and I think delivers a real emotional and narrative wallop and a good pay off.

When you mention that the story kind of grew organically and that it was bigger than a graphic novel – at that point did you realize that it was really an epic tale and does it actually have a clear beginning, a middle and an end?

Yes, I mean yeah definitely has that. I mean although we are kind of starting in the middle, and then the beginning gets revealed via flashback –little by little – which leads us to the end.  We really wanted to approach the comic book field with certain ’champagne’ standard.  We originally wanted to do everything OGNs, (original graphic novels), and this story had gotten so big, that both Bob and I tried our hardest in convincing Thomas (which we did successfully) that we needed to serialize this.  In this economy, you can’t ask people slop down 35 or 40 bucks for volume 1 of a trilogy on a character they know nothing about. That’s why we ended up going with a prestige format, because we really wanted you to get a chunk of our story, with every offering; more than what monthly floppy comic book would give you. Then also with a prestige format book you can dress it up and give it that ‘champagne treatment’, and make it seem like you are getting something special. But yeah, we realized early on that it was going to be big, and yeah definitely has a beginning, middle and an end.

My stuff normally has a beginning, middle and an end, you know?

You are collaborating with Simon Bisley, and his work in the book that I've seen is fantastic. What brought him to the project? 

I will say, just to get back to your comment there –it only gets better. Simon and I get better and better at working with each other. I get better at writing for him, he even said to me, “ it feels like you are writing this distinctly for me”.

He came onto the project two years ago at the San Diego convention.  We had our inaugural launch, and  the inaugural panel launch of Legendary Comics and introduced the company to the comic-book world and their first publication, Frank Miller’s Holy Terror and that was already done, so they had plenty of visuals for that.

And this point, we had no existing art for The Tower Chronicles. We had my story outline, we had some initial scripting, I’m pretty sure we even had a logo generated at that point. But we had no interesting art other than my initial character design. I designed the characters, but it was all very basic, my character designs were meant to just be a springboard for the actual artist to utilize and adapt their own style and embellish on. So we didn’t really use those as our out of the gate image.

Bob Schreck had worked with Simon on covers for Hellblazer when Bob was still at Vertigo.  He contacted Simon and Simon did this painted piece which was the first image we had of Tower and he just nailed it, absolutely nailed the character in one single image, captured all the atmosphere, all the ferocity, all the mystery in one image.

That’s really tough to pull off, and he just seemed to do it effortlessly. So Bob and I were conspiring, saying “God, wouldn’t it be great if he could just draw the whole thing?,” and luck would have it his schedule just worked out that way and so now he’s been working with us quite some time. And I think this will ultimately be the longest single narrative Simon has ever done.

Is Simon doing all the books? All 3 volumes? 

That is the plan right now.  I’m done with the first 2 books, so I’m done with the first 8 volumes, so I’m over 500 script pages in, and Simon is just wrapping volume 3, so he’s a little over 200 pages in. So it’s nice to know that we are so thoroughly meshed in it. That we feel that this is our overwhelming focus for now and for quite some time to come.

By working with Thomas Tull on the project, now that you have pretty much established it – is he involved or is Bob basically overseeing everything ? 

Yeah, Bob is usually the point person.

At first Thomas had a variety of notes for us, and part of that was because he wasn’t used to working with me and he also wasn’t used working in a comic book format.

For instance, one of the notes had to do with the fact, this isn’t in the preview because it's another character that comes in later, but we had 2 different caption voices; 2 different narration voices – and the note was it wasn’t clear who was talking, and my response was just because you aren't used to doing comic books. We changed the shape of the box, we changed the font, we changed the color of the box, and it will be – believe me- totally clear who the 2 different voices are, you know? So, its just a matter of mechanics in that regard, but then also he challenged me and asked me about a few things and I was like Okay, now you just don’t realize I'm going to do that in issue 3. And pretty much since then, you know I get a few notes from Thomas but it's all has been smooth sailing.

Is this creator own worth or is this worth for hire?

No, Thomas and I co-own it.

You know, you’re one of the few guys – especially when it comes to like, independent comics – that has two very clearly defined properties with Mage and Grendel. Do you have any plans for either of them or will the comic market kind of dictate the return at this point?

I actually thought I was doing Mage 3 at this point, but then Bob approached me with this, and then it was just too good of an opportunity to pass up on for a variety of reasons.


One of course, professional, but also creatively, because you mentioned Mage and Grendel there, I have Mage, I have Grendel - Mage is pretty much my one-man-show – and Grendel is my ‘cluster fuck’ of collaborations.

 [Laughs]

I’ve worked with so many different artists on Grendel, and this has been one creative collaboration that I’ve never pictured before.

Somebody approaching me with the basis of an idea, and then me grabbing that ball and developing it from there, and that seemed like a great challenge and I’m always looking for a narrative challenge. And again, professionally it was too good an opportunity to pass up. I knew Legendary was determined to make a mark in the comic book field and this will be their first all-original property so I would have been a fool to pass up their flagship book, you know?

But you know, Mage 3 is right around the corner for me, I’m pretty sure.

On the Grendel front, we just started releasing the Grendel Omnibus Edition, which collects in common format all the Grendel runs in chronological order.

You know, back when I was first doing Grendel, you know I was switching it up narratively all the time, but I would also change the format here and there, and at that time way back in the days – that was a strength because it was an oddity, you know. Nowadays the market’s been saturated so it’s a weakness.

We needed to regularize the format so that people would recognize it, and also put it in chronological order, because a lot of people look at the vast amount of Grendel material and think “Oh god, I don’t even know where to even start.”

Well these omnibus editions start at the beginning and its all in chronological order and very easy to follow. So those are coming out and they vary between 550 and 600 pages a piece for a really good price, I think the first one is only 25 bucks.

And they come out every six months, first one just came out, the next one’s six months, and the next one is six months after that, et cetera.

You spent the last, I would say close to a decade it seems, doing writing and covers. Do you miss doing sequential art?

Yes, I do. It is the fact that I have been doing writing and covers certainly wasn’t by any intentional design – it just kind of happened that way.

I like sequential storytelling, but I’m just a storyteller at heart that it's just kind of apples and oranges for me. I mean I love working with other artists, the fact that I’m an artist too means I can readily understand what they’re going to do well, what they are gonna give me. I know how to ask for changes without being an overpowering asshole about it.  I enjoy that sense of collaboration. Apples and oranges.  So yeah, writing is just as fulfilling to me on many many levels as drawing is.

And I will get back to Mage when I’m drawing and writing my own thing.

And of course, what was it… three, four years ago? 


I did Trinity, and then I did those two Batman series for DC.  (Trinity was released in 2003, Batman and the Monster Men and Batman and the Mad Monk were released during 2005-2007, time flies)

Yeah yeah, that’s right. Those were great.

And then for the 25th anniversary for Grendel, I did an 8 issue Grendel thing that I wrote and drew as well of all new Hunter Rose stories.  So, it’s not that long ago that I did sequential art.

It’s been 30 years since Primer #2 came out...

Amen, brother. [laughs]

At this point now, where do you see yourself in the industry? What is your take on corporate, Big Two comics, and independent work and also digital comics?

Well, digital comics for me, that’s just a technology issue.  I don’t really have any opinion about that. I tend to still prefer print, but I’ve seen my stuff done digitally and I like looking at it that way too. You know, that’s just a medium, it doesn’t have anything to do with content.

You know, I’m lucky in the fact that I entered the field by starting off in the independent world having to bite and scratch and claw my way to the top on that side of things. Before going to play with the big boys and work with the big boy toys, you know unlike a lot of my contemporaries like (Frank) Miller or (Mike) Mignola or Alan Moore, et cetera who all started in the mainstream world and then came to the independent side of things. As a result,  everytime I'm working with the big guys I'm always working with an editor who respects me enough to leave me the fuck alone, you know.

When I was doing Trinity and those Batman projects with Bob Schreck and editing those as well, and might as well have been working on Grendel for all the editorial interference that I got. But I'm in a real happy position in that regard.  As for my place in the industry, it’s kind of for other people to judge, but I feel like I’ve got a great spot – I can do whatever I want, I get to pick and choose my own projects and it’s been that way for a long time. So, really couldn’t be happier.

It’s been 30 years since Primer #2 came out. 

Amen, brother. [laughs]

At this point now, where do you see yourself in the industry? What is your take on corporate, Big Two comics, and independent work and also digital comics? 

Well, digital comics for me, that’s just a technology issue.  I don’t really have any opinion about that. I tend to still prefer print, but I’ve seen my stuff done digitally and I like looking at it that way too. You know, that’s just a medium, it doesn’t have anything to do with content.

You know, I’m lucky in the fact that I entered the field by starting off in the independent world having to bite and scratch and claw my way to the top on that side of things. Before going to play with the big boys and work with the big boy toys, you know unlike a lot of my contemporaries like (Frank) Miller or (Mike) Mignola or Alan Moore, et cetera who all started in the mainstream world and then came to the independent side of things. As a result,  everytime I'm working with the big guys I'm always working with an editor who respects me enough to leave me the fuck alone, you know.

When I was doing Trinity and those Batman projects with Bob Schreck and editing those as well, and might as well have been working on Grendel for  all the editorial interference that I got. But I'm in a real happy position in that regard.  As for my place in the industry, it’s kind of for other people to judge, but I feel like I’ve got a great spot – I can do whatever I want, I get to pick and choose my own projects and it’s been that way for a long time. So, really couldn’t be happier.

What are you currently geeking out over? 

Actually my music listening has leveled off quite a lot over the past couple of years because I’ve been writing so much, and tend to listen to music more when I’m drawing. I can’t listen to music at all when I’m writing. So I'll have to play ignorance on that one.

I’m a veracious book reader, I’m actually part of a book club here in Portland, Oregon and Portland is lousy with comic book artists, you can barely sit without hitting one of us. And a group of us are part of a book club.  Our general agreement is not comics, that’s a little too-close to home, you know. But we get together every 2 or 3 months and read books and discuss it and just sit around, chew the fat and eat some good food and have a good time. We just finished David Copperfield, right now we are reading one of Steve Martin's book called An Object of Beauty so its not always as high-falutent as David Copperfield. We’ve been really kind of all across the board subject matter wise. We read Lolita, we read Cloud Atlas, we read The Omnivores Dilemma, we read Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy. We really read kind of a wide-range of stuff and some of the other participants are the Allreds, Joelle Jones, Jamie Rich, Shannon Wheeler who does Too Much Coffee Man, Craig Thompson and his girlfriend Sierra Hahn, who works at Dark Horse, and Chris Roberson and his wife, Allison Baker just moved to Portland and joined our little gang of idiots as well.

That’s a great group of people.  Just a lot of opinions the room, that’s a great thing to have in a book club.

TV, let’s see… Well, last week I just watched the first episode of the new season of Broadwalk Empire and I can’t get enough of that shit, I just love that to death. Well, Mad Men and I haven't made the leap into Breaking Bad yet.  Everyone really loves Breaking Bad. My wife is in love with Downton Abby, that British kind of soap opera thing. The Walking Dead; Nurse Jackie is a lot of fun…

Films.  Oh, let me tell you, I had more fun at The Avengers than out of any other comic book movie  I’ve seen since I was a teenager seeing Superman: The Movie for the first time.

They did a really good job nailing the fun aspect which was pretty cool.

It just hit all the notes exactly right, you know?

And it showed you all the cool shit you wanted to see, all the characters had an individual voice and an individual role in the team, and it had just so many great pay-offs you know.

So, I really enjoyed that.


The Tower Chronicles: GeistHawk Volume 1 will be released at comic book stores tomorrow.
To locate a comic book store near you, call 1-888-COMIC-BOOK or http://www.comicshoplocator.com


Contest! Win WALLANDER 3: AN EVENT IN AUTUMN on DVD Starring Kenneth Branagh

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The award-winning detective drama Wallander starring Kenneth Branagh returns for a third season of thrilling investigations!

In An Event in Autumn, Wallander finds the remains of a young woman buried at the back of his garden. When another woman's body washes up on the shore, Wallander searches for the connection. In The Dogs of Riga, the corpses of two Latvian men, covered in mafia tattoos, are discovered in Ystad harbor. When Wallander travels to Riga in search of the killers, he becomes entangled in a web of corruption.

And in Before the Frost, a childhood friend of Linda Wallander goes missing. Wallander and Linda worry for her safety when they find links between her and a murderer. Elegantly filmed, brilliantly acted and set in a strikingly beautiful location, this season of Wallander offers three new intriguing stories not to be missed! 
 And we're giving away three copies.


To enter, please send an email with the subject header "WALLANDER" to geekcontest @ gmail dot com and answer the following question:


Kenneth Branagh directed this 2011 Marvel Studios film starring Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston and Natalie Portman?

Please include your name and address (U.S. Residents only. You must be 18 years old).

Only one entry per person and a winner will be chosen at random.

Contest ends at 11:59 PM EST on October 14th, 2012.


JEWS BE HUNGRY: It's Yom Kippur So Please Don't Post Your Food Stuff On Facebook Today Out Of Respect To A Bunch of Starving People

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Well, I haven't eaten anything since downing a bucket of Chinese food yesterday around 3pm, so if my posts today get progressively nasty it's because my blood sugar levels have significantly dropped in order to atone for all my sins this year (of which there are many).

Like many Jews who only observe those holidays in which we can take the day off from work, Yom Kippur is the day that we Jewish people starve ourselves so that at sundown we can pounce upon a platter of food (bagels first followed by fistfights and Noodle Kugel) then try and get the hell away from our families ASAP so that we can meet up with friends and drink glorious pints of beer, whereby we begin sinning once again.

It's a wonderful custom right?

Anyway, to all my fellow Jews who are staring to feel the throbbing ache of hunger, I truly hope you can make through this fast without killing someone. And if you don't, at least next year you'll have something to truly atone for.
 


YOUR RECORD SOUNDS DELICIOUS: DJ Breakbot Releases An Album On Playable Chocolate

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Music has always been an important part of my life and now, thanks to French DJ Breakbot, it can be an important part of my breakfast.

This limited edition chocolate album (By Your Side) has 14-tracks and will cost you about $21.63 (converted from euro). It is also topped out at 120 copies, so if you want to munch down on some Electronica music, you might want to think about ordering one now, otherwise you can always buy a regular version (which, sadly, you can't eat).

Here's hoping that in the future other bands release albums one can snack on as well 'cause I could really go for a toffee-flavored new release by Fountains of Wayne right about now.


Source: Incredible Things


CUDDLE UP WITH THIS RETRO TELEVISION PILLOW: Naptime Has Never Been So Nostalgic

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At my age there are two things that one desires above anything else: A Just the Ten of Us Reunion show and a nice nap.

And, seeing how little most people cared about the Growing Pains spin-off show starring Coach Lubbock when it aired, I guess I will settle for deep unconsciousness on top of a comfy retro-style television pillow.

Yes, this ode to the wood-paneled console TV is a wonderful reminder to anyone who once spent many an afternoon rushing home from school in order to watch a selection of four channels, that their childhood was horrible in terms of TV offerings. But now that we are old and see such tragedy through rose-colored glasses, having such limited viewing options seems quaint instead of sad and depressing...just like our lives.

So, if you are like me and need a proper vessel in order to dream about Barney Miller during naptime, perhaps you should order a nice pillow with a television on it.

Or, you could down a bunch of sleeping pills and hope for the best.

Source: Geek Alerts



SMOKE 'EM IF YOU GOT 'EM: Campfire Cologne Sticks Will Make You Smell Like A Campfire Long After Your Camping Trip Has Ended

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For some people the feel of a cold chill is the gravestone of summer, a true end to wearing shorts with a sweatshirt, sitting by a campfire with friends drinking beer and telling scary stories or watching the sun set at ten o'clock at night.

But cheer up lovers of logs on fire, there's a product out there that will transport you back to those long nights in the forest getting eaten alive by mosquitoes!

Introducing Campfire Cologne, a box of cedar, birch and oak wood chips that you can light with your trusty summer Bic that smells exactly like a campfire crackling...ahhh, burning wood.

See, now there's no need for any of that seasonal affective disorder overtaking you during a department meeting whereby you start stabbing your co-workers in the throat with one of those Starbucks coffee picks. Not when you can build yourself a campfire on your desk and pretend summer never left you.

Welcome to fall nutjob.

Campfire Cologne - Office from Fort Ripper on Vimeo.

Source: Uncrate


Smallville: Random, Awesome and WTF?! - S8E4: Instinct

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Coming from the royal house of Almarac, Maxima busts into Metropolis looking for a mate capable of keeping up with her…and becomes smitten with Jimmy.

Seriously.  What the hell?

Uh, Your Majesty?  I was right there.  Jeez.

The Random:
1. Holy crap, I was just talking about Shelby like an episode or two ago.  He hasn’t been eaten by wolves or slaughtered by Kryptonians after all.  That’s a relief.

2. Without Lana around, man, has the chemistry between Lois and Clark skyrocketed.  And, yeah, she’s totally jealous of Maxima.  Clark totally missed his chance to have the most interesting interspecies threesome this side of the Milky Way.

3. All right, so you gotta give Jimmy a little something for his heart to heart with Clark about Chloe.  It takes a lot to admit your insecurities to the person you’re feeling insecure about in the first place.

Clark, this is the droid you’re looking for, trust me.
But go grab Maxima, too.  Just in case

The Awesome:
1. Is it wrong that I found myself getting dizzy and a bit breathless every time Maxima came on screen?  I’m going to go ahead and say it’s not just so I feel better about myself.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need a cigarette.

2. This variation of Maxima is a lot better than some other interpretations, namely the shrill annoying one that was on the Superman: The Animated Series years back.  She’s beautiful, but she’s also clearly someone you don’t want to mess with and can more than handle herself in a throwdown, not to mention smart instead of being some vapid bimbo.  I don’t know how Clark found it in him to send her on her way.

3. Tess is really no throwaway character.  She’s here to stay, moving people around like chess pieces, kickboxing, running a multikazillion dollar corporation, hiding Kryptonian artifacts, the works.  I miss Lex, but Tess owns.  But her best moment—knowing that she’s not the only game in town as someone has the crystal and is taunting her with it…

Clark, this is the droid I’M looking for, trust me.
But I’ll go grab Lois, too.  Just in case.

The WTF?!:
1. All right, Chloe, far be it from me to really defend Jimmy’s bumbling, but you seriously still have a love letter you wrote Clark when you were fifteen, back when he had that mysterious Kryptonite fever?  And you don’t get why he might feel insecure about it?  Didn’t you just get smarter or something?

2. I know it’s been said before, but either Jimmy has a Kryptonite power that makes girls blind, or he’s hung like a mutant horse and word travels fast.  Either way, something has to explain why Chloe, Kara, and now Maxima are on his jock like itch.

3. I know Chloe wants to do the right thing, but does she really think it’s a good idea to consider working for Tess?  On hacking a computer?  Remember how her predecessor tossed you in the clink for that?  Of course you do, you just said that.  So, what the hell?!

“So, you’re saying I should tear down the secret Clark shrine
I have set up in my closet?  Damn, Jimmy, you’re so needy.”




Contest: Win THE COURIER on Blu-ray!

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In a business that asks no questions, THE COURIER (Jeffrey Dean Morgan), is the best out there, but he wasn’t expecting a deal like this. Deliver a briefcase, get a million dollars. Fail, and his family gets killed. What’s the catch?  The briefcase belongs to a killer as elusive as a nightmare, and so feared that the entire Underworld trembles at the mention of his name. And with a new partner (Josie Ho), it’s hard to know who to trust. Hounded by hit men and hustlers, double-dealing feds and double-crossing accomplices, the Courier embarks on an impossible journey that ultimately unravels his own murky past.

And we're giving away three copies!


To enter, please send an email with the subject header "COURIER" to geekcontest @ gmail dot com and answer the following question:

The Courier star Jeffrey Dean Morgan played a monster fighting patriarch on this television series?

Please include your name and address (U.S. Residents only. You must be 18 years old).

Only one entry per person and a winner will be chosen at random.

Contest ends at 11:59 PM EST on October 28th, 2012.


Welcome To My Queue: THE AVENGERS, ROCK OF AGES, DARK SHADOWS, E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL, BATMAN: THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS PART 1, ED WOOD, INDIANA JONES: THE COMPLETE ADVENTURES

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It's Monday night, do you know what you should be watching?

Check out how I spent the past weekend after the jump and be sure to fire up your Netflix queue or Amazon shopping cart!


The Avengers

WDHE / Released September 25th, 2012

The assembling of Earth's Mightiest Heroes, is an extremely fun, big popcorn movie.

Combining the various Marvel franchises (Captain America, Iron Man, Thor and the Incredible Hulk), The Avengers is neither as clever or as exciting as it thinks it is, but it delivers nevertheless.  Writer-director Joss Whedon's greatest strength might be character verbal conflict (aka bickering) and the film had that in spades.  The nonsensical plot really only presents itself as such if you get off the ride and examine it,  and the film's MacGuffin, The Tesseract, never really seems as threatening as the characters make it out to seem.  In his third time at bat playing Tony Stark, Robert Downey Jr.'s portrayal has gone from refreshingly snarky to Earth's Biggest Asshole.  The majority of the cast are serviceable enough with the best performances coming from Clark Gregg, Tom Hiddleston and Mark Ruffalo, who shines as the befuddled genius Bruce Banner, who reminds everyone it's not so easy to be green.

Unfortunately, Jeremy Renner seems bored and Scarlett Johansson continues to the most severely miscast actor in the Marvel Studios panthenon.  Extras include the short film, Item 47, commentary, featurettes, and a blooper reel (all of which seem light).  The Avengers is the third highest grossing film of all time and one of the best comic book films yet.  After seeing the characters finally teaming up and saving the world, it just kind of feels like a good place to stop, rather than begin.  Recommended.


Rock Of Ages

Warner Bros. / Released on Blu-ray Combo pack, DVD and download October 9th, 2012

With it's tongue planted firmly in cheek, Adam Shankman's adaptation of the hit Broadway musical doesn't forget it's roots. It never reaches the artistic majesty of Baz Luhrmann's Moulin Rouge, but instead, keeps the depth shallow, but nevertheless fun, incorporating many familiar rock songs. Julianne Hough and Diego Boneta are unfortunately the weakest elements of the film, with a storyline that seems to mine Coyote Ugly and Three's Company for emotional wallop.

Fortunately, the rest of the cast is pretty entertaining as they mug for the camera, with a particularly dedicated performance by Tom Cruise as rock god, Stacee Jaxx, who mines Axl Rose and Jim Morrison and who's only honest friendship is with his pet baboon, Hey Man.

The experience of screening the film at home versus the theatrical experience does, however, suffer.  Without the the larger than life presentation, the film feels stilted.  When characters burst into song on the silver screen, it created a grand theatrical feeling that doesn't seem so grand.  Extras include an extended cut, featurettes, and a music video.  Rock of Ages might not be particularly great movie, but it is fun.  Watch it with a group of friends on the largest screen possible and crank the music.  Recommended.


Dark Shadows

Warner Bros. / Released on Blu-ray Combo pack, DVD and download October 2nd, 2012

Tim Burton directs the reimagining of Dan Curtis' cult soap opera with regular leading man, Johnny Depp as vampire Barnabas Collins returning to his former home in the early Seventies.   The film is pretty solid for the first half hour before it begins to suffer from Burton's focus on style over story.  The screenplay by Seth Grahme-Smith progressively gets more and more convoluted until the final act which abandons any kind of logic or plot.  Visually the film is pretty dynamite and all of the performances were solid, with Depp's performance in particular, his strongest in years.  Extras include deleted scenes, and Maximum Movie Mode.

Dark Shadows
, like many of Burton's best films, focuses on the visuals, rather than the story.  In this case, strong performances and a sense of fun, elevate the poorly executed screenplay.  It drags a bit, but as a Burton fan, I found myself pleased with his return to form.  Mildly recommended.


Ed Wood

BVHE/ Released September 18th, 2012

Tim Burton's masterpiece, Ed Wood, is likely the closest the auteur will get to an autobiography.  Considered to be the worst filmmaker of all time, the cross-dressing schlock filmmaker is portrayed by Burton favorite Johnny Depp.  Like Wood, Burton employs a fairly regular group of collaborators, and both filmmakers are self-assured about their own particular visions.  Filmed in gorgeous black & white, Ed Wood features some fantastic performances including Bill Murray, Sarah Jessica Parker, Jeffrey Jones and a cameo of Vincent D'Onofrio as Orson Welles.  Martin Landau also won an Oscar with his performance as horror icon Bela Lugosi, who becomes Wood's muse (reflecting in many ways the relationship between Burton and Depp).  Extras include commentary, deleted scenes, featurettes and a trailer.  Ed Wood is a love letter to both schlock cinema and the boundless enthusiasm that the director had to film his vision; and there could have been no better collaborators than Burton and Depp to bring that story to life.  Highly recommended.


E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial

Universal Studios / Released October 9th, 2012

One of cinema's greatest fairy-tales, E.T. has made it to Blu-ray looking as new as it did when I saw it on opening day in 1982.  An alien is left behind on Earth and befriends a boy and his siblings.  While trying to engineer a device to contact his home, the military pursues the alien unaware that he has created a symbiotic relationship with the boy.

It's fairly commonplace to throw around the term "movie magic" and it has never been quite as applicable as it is in this film.  Henry Thomas gives a genuine and emotional performance as Elliot, with excellent work from Robert MacNaughton and Drew Barrymore as siblings Michael and Gertie.  Dee Wallace and Peter Coyote anchor the film as Mary, the Mom and government operative "Keys," respectively.

The greatest achievement in the film might be E.T. himself, a creation of a number of filmmaking tricks including a person in a suit and a puppet operated by technicians, that bring the extra-terrestrial believably to life.  The score by John Williams is iconic and Spielberg's work is some of the finest in his career.  Extras include featurettes, documentaries, reunions, deleted scenes, image galleries and trailers.  E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial belongs in every Blu-ray library.  Highest recommendation.


Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 1

Warner Bros / Released September 25, 2012

Based on the groundbreaking comic by Frank Miller, Klaus Janson and Lynn Varley, The Dark Knight Returns focuses on a Bruce Wayne ten years retired, who's suffocating in the decaying Gotham City around him.  When Harvey Dent who, through the miracle of modern plastic surgery, has had his face restored and given a "Two-Face" free diagnosis from his psychiatrist is released; things only get worse and Bruce dons his costume once again to rid Gotham from the criminal element which includes a mutant street gang.  Oh yeah, we finally get Robin, The Girl Wonder.

As elements of this story have found themselves incorporated through both Tim Burton and Christopher Nolan's Bat-films, The Dark Knight Returns doesn't feel as fresh as I expected.  The film which divides the story in two parts (part two arrives in early 2013) is the first miss.  The second, which I also experienced when watching the earlier Batman: Year One (my favorite story of all time) release, is that some things don't necessarily work when adapted to another medium.  Voice work is strong as always, with Peter Weller quite possibly out-Batman-ing iconic Kevin Conroy as the definitive voice of the Caped Crusader.  The animation, while trying to be reverent to the original work feels more clunky than it should.  Extras include featurettes, two episodes of Batman: The Animated Series, 4 pages of the original comic (?!) and a sneak preview of Part 2.   Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 1 is realistically going to be checked out by most comic and Batman fans, but personally this latest departure from original movies to adaptations might be reason enough to give the fans something fresh.  Mildly recommended.


Indiana Jones: The Complete Adventures

Paramount / Released September 18th, 2012

A must have for any cinegeek, this box set contains four films of varying success all starring Harrison Ford, produced by George Lucas and directed by Steven Spielberg.

Included is the great, iconic, incredible Raiders of the Lost Ark, the film that introduced audiences to the Professor of Archeology, expert on the occult, and obtainer of rare antiquities.  In Raiders, Jones travels across the world  to beat the Nazis from uncovering the Lost Ark of The Covenant, the container which holds the remains of the Ten Commandments, which will grant power to whoever controls it.  In the second film, Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom, Jones finds himself helping an Indian village save it's children from a cult determined to rule the world.  Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade sends Jones to save his missing father and find the Holy Grail before it winds up in the clutches of the Nazi's.  Finally, is the twenty year later addition, Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of The Crystal Skull, which has Jones reuniting with lost love Marion Ravenwood and meeting his son, Mutt Williams, for the first time, while trying to prevent an antique of possible extra-terrestrial origin from falling in the wrong hands.

Raiders of the Lost Ark is a perfect film and the other three have their moments, but don't ever come close to matching the magic of the initial installment.  That being said, all four installments have some entertainment value and Paramount was wise to release them all in a single set.  Extras are plentiful and include trailers, over five hours of making of documentaries, and over a dozen featurettes.  Picture and sound are top notch as well.  Indiana Jones: The Complete Adventures is a perfect example of a release that's whole is better than it's parts.  The three sequels differ on quality primarily depending on the taste of the viewer, but all are very entertaining with the original Raiders of the Lost Ark being one of the most satisfyingly entertaining films of all time.  Highest recommendation.


Michael Uslan To Receive First Doctorate in Comic Books

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 University to Confer World’s 1st Doctor of Comic Books Degree
 

Batman Exec Producer Michael Uslan to be Honored for His Work Legitimizing the Genre
 
Comic books as a legitimate form of American art and literature?  

Their time has come.

On October 10th, New Jersey’s Monmouth University will confer the world’s first fine arts doctorate in comic books on Michael Uslan, the originator and executive producer of the blockbuster Batman movie franchise that began in 1989, including the recent Dark Knight trilogy.

It’s a long overdue recognition for an industry that was derided and vilified for decades, says Uslan, who wrote about his comic obsession and its positive effect on his life in his memoir, The Boy Who Loved Batman (www.theboywholovedbatman.com).

“This will have a tremendously positive impact on the industry, the fans, the artists and writers,” he says. “With the recognition by academia of comic books as expressions of fine art, we’ll see more talented people going into the industry, and they will continue to innovate, refine and redefine this art form and the art of graphic story-telling.”

The university chose Uslan for the honor because of his decades of work establishing the genre as an important element of American art and culture, said Monmouth President Paul G. Gaffney II.
“We are proud to award Michael Uslan an honorary degree in the ‘fine art of comic books,’ ” he said. “Through his work and teaching, he has shown the world that comics are a legitimate art form and uniquely American.”

Uslan, who taught the world’s first accredited college course in comics at Indiana University, Bloomington, Ind., in 1971, also wrote the first textbook on comics, “The Comic Book In America.”  Today, many colleges and universities offer comics courses.

Uslan’s drive to change the way society views comic books dates to childhood, when he recognized the heroes he so admired were often portrayed in media as campy characters not to be taken seriously. As he grew older, he learned the dark history of the American comic book, which first appeared in 1934.

“After World War II, there was a spike in juvenile crime. Psychiatrist Fredric Wertham blamed comic books in his book, ‘Seduction of the Innocent’,” Uslan says, “that led to a 1954 Senate investigation into comic books and their alleged deleterious effects on America’s youth, including the notion they caused asthma because comic book readers stayed indoors to read instead of playing outside in the fresh air.” 

“During that period, the general public viewed comic books as poison. Many parents wouldn’t let their kids near a comic book. There were comic book burnings,” Uslan says. “From the 1930s to the ‘70s, people in the industry were derided for working in the world of comics. They were looked down upon by society.”

Meanwhile, artists and writers – notably Stan Lee, former editor-in-chief of Marvel Comics and co-creator of iconic heroes such as Spider-Man and the Avengers – were weaving a modern American mythology, Uslan says. 

He points to these reasons why America is finally now, rightfully, embracing its unique art form.
• Comic books are a mirror of American society. Sociologically, since the 1930s they’ve been reflecting our changing culture, our values, mores, fashions and fads, warts and all, prejudices and biases included.
• Comic heroes are our modern mythology. The only difference between them and the ancient Greek gods is that our super-heroes and super-villains today wear Spandex and capes. But like the ancient gods, they reinforce values, convey moral lessons and provoke important discussions about ethics.
• The explosion of blockbuster feature films based on comic books and graphic novels has made American comics a global fascination. Uslan’s 1989 “Batman,” directed by Tim Burton, ushered in a new dark and serious portrayal of comic book heroes on the big screen. His 2008 “The Dark Knight” and this year’s “The Dark Knight Rises” opened the door to other comic-based blockbusters, from “The X-Men” and “Spider-Man” to “The Avengers” and “Iron Man.” These movies are influencing every aspect of culture, from video games to fashion trends. By 2013, comic book conventions will be bursting on the scene overseas, proving that the characters and stories the creators have given us have the power to cross cultures as well as borders.
• Comics have earned recognition in the art world. Comic book exhibits have been displayed in the galleries of noted art museums from the Smithsonian Institution to the Louvre to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to the United Nations.   
“Next,” says Uslan, “I’d like to see creative geniuses from the industry like the venerable Stan Lee recognized with Kennedy Center Honors for their achievements. What were once simply comic books are now being translated into the performing arts and it’s a crime that neither Stan nor any other creator from the field of American comic books and graphic novels has ever been recognized and honored by that illustrious group. 

“And if it’s a crime, it means that Batman, Superman, Spider-Man, The Hulk and the rest will be after them if they don’t make it right.”


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