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THIS MIGHT BE A Bad Way To Teach Children That Candy Isn't Healthy

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My mom wasn't so much a health nut as she was against allowing her children to experience pleasure, so we didn't have candy in the house and we ended up idolizing the sugar-based crack like addicts and sneaking it in when she wasn't looking.

But I'm thinking that making a gumball machine out of a dead person's withered head and leaving it in the living room might have worked a lot better than telling us that candy was bad.

In fact, had she zombified all the no-no foods I might have learned that one doesn't need to eat a can of frosting for dinner just because it was there and instead I could have had a salad or something and lived a much healthier life.

Source: Obvious Winner



Smallville: Random, Awesome and WTF?! - S6E17: Combat

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After last episode’s nuptials, Smallville gets back to smashing stuff up as Clark tries to put an end to an underground fight club where Titan, another Phantom Zone escapee, is owning fools left and right.

Luckily, Lois smells a story with the fight club and decides to dress in tight leather to get to the bottom of it.

The Random:
1. Clark sure has gone off the deep end since Lana and Lex tied the knot, but at least he’s not moping as much, so there’s that.

2. It always amazes me that the authorities can never find these underground fight clubs despite having task forces and such, but seemingly any knuckle dragging moron can always get there with no effort.

3. Clark must be sure the millionth corrupt employee from the institution will be dealt with decisively because he shows off his abilities right in front of him in a parking lot.  Of course, fighting Lois in a cage match is going to make his act a bit tougher.  Either way, it should come as no shock that Mr. Fight Promoter dies pretty hard.

Yeah, try keeping your mind on the fight, dude…

The Awesome:
1. Obviously the WWE’s Kane isn’t known for his acting ability, but he does a damn good job playing the crazy Zoner, Titan by making the fights look much more convincing than usual.

2. Between the blonde bombshell and Lois in red leather, and their borderline erotic scene, the eye candy in this episode is giving me diabetes…and I’m totally good with that.

3. Clark beats Titan with a move out of a Street Fighter game and inadvertently kills him, leading him to question how far he’s gone and how far he might have to go to put down all the Zoners.  Luckily, Mama Kent is there to guide him through it and put him back on the path to being our greatest hero.

Hell in a Cell!  Hell in a Cell!
The WTF?!:
1. Lana knows how much is on the line with her marriage, so you’d think the least she could do is pretend to act like she’s into it so Lex doesn’t get suspicious, but, naturally, you’d think incorrectly because she’s awful.

2. So, Chloe and Clark are working on a super secret story and they know Lois is snooping around for one herself…so they casually toss notes and photos about it in a trash can without being shredded for her to find.  They’re smooth.

3. Lana is just finding out about her doctor’s death after a week, and only because she supposedly miscarried, and still she doesn’t suspect anything is up with Lex?  Maybe once she tries to retrieve her records and finds out they’ve gone missing, she’ll wake up…

Did I say “missing?”  I meant accidentally on purpose set on fire.


GEEKY CRAFT CORNER: Crochet Yourselves Your Own Meth Lab With This Breaking Bad Pattern

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Okay, so technically you're not crocheting a Meth Lab per say but you are going to be able to whip up Walt and Jesse complete with glasses, jumpsuits and bags of crystal meth which is just as awesome.


Imagine how popular you'll be this holiday season when you hand out the drug manufacturing duo to your nieces and nephews while their parents have to sit there and say nothing (after-all, you made it with your own two hands).

Oh, it'll be wonderful!


For the pattern click HERE

And get ready for some awkward family moments.

Source: Geek Crafts


Reviews of Films I Have Never Seen: THE DARK KNIGHT RISES – Artsy Ending Boosts Action Flick

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Keep in mind that I rarely implore, but today is different: stay open to new cinematic techniques.

Director Christopher Nolan’s dramatic Act III will be squandered if you react poorly, storm from the theater, and start tweeting about being ripped off.

Ignore web rumors about severe production economies in Nolan’s final installment of the Dark Knight trilogy.

Don’t listen to any buzz that Nolan was ordered to save money or the film would be taken away and completed by fourteen-year-old boys or J.J. Abrams.

The script by Nolan and his brother, Jonathan, with David S. Goyer plunges us into a post-Joker Gotham City.

Eight years have passed.

The laughs are gone. Crime is down.

Rachel Dawes and Harvey Dent are dead.

Alfred (Michael Caine) has a bladder condition and must carry around a quart of Brute aftershave to tamp down unpleasant odors.


Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) passes the time by growing facial hair, purposeless and alone with his memories, much like Phil Donahue. Lucius Fox (Morgan Freeman) and Commissioner Gordon (Gary Oldman) often drop in to watch Animal Planet marathons of My Cat From Hell. But the conversation is bittersweet while Alfred’s snacks of summer sausage and cheddar reek of aftershave.

But then Bane (Tom Hardy) arrives.

Here is a villain worthy of the Dark Knight. But Bane crushes our hero and sets about destroying Gotham City. A shattered Batman finds himself allied with tricky Catwoman Selina Kyle (Anne Hathaway).

Here Nolan breaks new cinematic ground. Embracing the theme of darkness, the director gradually diminishes all lighting beginning at the one-hour mark. At first, you don’t notice. Then it seems like the film only uses source light such as street lamps and neon signs. Then everything is in shadow and you have to guess who is who.

Finally, for the last twenty minutes, the screen is absolutely black. You see aircraft running lights and gunshots while explosions briefly illuminate scenes. And, of course, you hear the dialogue. But like the characters in this murky world, you aren’t really sure of anything.

I’ll admit, I felt kind of cheated at first. But after a time I grew to appreciate Nolan’s intricate blend of theme and non-image.

You may not instantly notice how cool a black screen can be. But if you do, congratulate yourself.

It’s clear that you ‘get it.’

Casting kudos to John Papsidera and Toby Whale for getting over 175 actors to appear in uncredited roles.

Four stars to Faberge, makers of Brut, for outstanding product placement.




THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS When You Tell Your Son To Find Something To Do In The Basement

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I would like to say that I'm above this video, that my maturity has evolved to the point where I don't find this funny.

But I do...dear god, I do.

And I'm pretty sure this whole thing came about because this kid's mom was tired of him getting in her way and she sent him down to the basement to "Find something to do".

Rest assured that is probably the last time she ever does that again.


Source: Vulture


Symbolism and Biology of GORGO

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Gorgo is probably the best movie ever to appear on Mystery Science Theater 3000.

It’s still fun to poke at its various moments of silliness and overuse off stock footage towards the end of Act 2. 

However, it’s still a decent movie with a memorable monster and sound track.  Gorgo is the best example of a true Western Kaiju, right down to being performed by a man in a suit.


It even keeps the proper symbolism of a Kaiju and carries it through its best known media tie in—comics drawn by Steve Ditko.  If that’s not enough of a moment of weirdness, that comic also featured an unaccredited cameo by Reptilicus!




Symbolism

Gorgo’s symbolism starts with the origins of the concept. 

Like Godzilla, Gorgo traces his roots to The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms but for entirely different reasons.  This is probably because the films share a director, Eugène Lourié.  After watching Beast with his daughter, he found her rather distraught.  She was rather upset that the beast had to die. 

Given the Pathos which Ray Harryhausen gave it, it’s unsurprising to us now, but to him it was a bit of a shock.  Almost a decade later, he got his chance to give his daughter what she wanted.  The mother monster in this film is honestly the most heroic character in it. 


This little story was not brought up during its run, but came out later.  During the run, however, the producers at King Brothers proclaimed that they received a lot of motherly support for this picture.  Given the story is of the ultimate “Mother Bear” archetype rescuing its offspring, it makes sense. 

Like a proper Kaiju, Gorgo’s mother (“Ógra” by the fans, after the old Irish mythical name they conjured for, it’s usually written as “Ogra” in the west, it is actually the Gaelic word for “Youth”) retains the core concept of a Kaiju: being an unstoppable force of nature.  With that, though is what I mentioned earlier – a mother’s love for her offspring. 

Because of this mother’s instinct, it turns the entire film completely on its head, which adds to the key elements that, overall, make it unlike any other giant monster movie yet produced. 


If it wasn’t for the fact that Ógra is the only female character with any importance (and almost at all if it wasn’t for crowd shots) in the entire movie, I’d almost call this mildly feminist in nature, with a very nature oriented female lead clashing directly against a patriarchal society that has violated the sacred bond between mother and offspring. 

But that would be reading WAY too much into it, even if there were other female characters in the movie itself. 

The actual subtext of the film has more to do with the fact that both the mother and the monster are Irish.  The history of Ireland and Britain is a tense one, especially up in the north.  And the story of a young Irish “man” being taken in chains down to London to be gawked at, where all official objections from the Irish people are ignored.  Then having “Mother Ireland” (THE personification of Ireland amongst the Irish) coming to its rescue and smashing the key symbols of British power (London, the Tower Bridge, Big Ben) has a bit of bite to it.

Biology

It almost goes without saying, but the standard rule of Kaiju (armored like a mountain just to stand upright) applies to Gorgo as well as the other giant monsters talked about so far this summer.   The size difference between Gorgo and his mother does raise the question of if Gorgo was born live or hatched from an egg.  The size differential would seem to indicate an egg, but live is still possible.  Also given the size difference, it is unlikely that it was the only one born initially.  It could be the last off the clutch, which would certainly add to the mother’s protective instincts.


Gorgo’s primary motivating factor of motherly affection/aggression is something that is normally applied to mammals and may seem out of place for a reptilian horror.  But not all reptiles abandon their offspring.  Crocodilians and their cousins in Dinosaurs and Birds, care for their young in various ways.  Footage exists of crocodiles actually feeding their young in a manner similar to birds.  And the guarding of their nests is well documented.  Extending that protectiveness further is not that much of a stretch.


Though it does raise the question of how the young Gorgo managed to be captured in the first place.  That, thankfully, has an easy explanation and adds to the likely intelligence of the monster: It was curious and wandered off.  It happens to many animals.  Often, they are sojourns to find food on their own and can land them in trouble with predators. 

Beyond this instinct and its overwhelming presence in the film, Gorgo and its mother appear to be dinosaurs—they have the right ankles and everything.  Large, semi-aquatic dinosaurs (Spinosaurs) are not unknown, but they are specialized fish eaters with narrow snouts and heavy claws.  The shape of Gorgo’s jaw indicates a different feeding style.  At first, it appears to be reminiscent of an American alligator, their broad heads designed to eat meatier targets than fish such as deer, turtles and pretty much whatever they come across.  The heavy claws, reminiscent of the dinosaur Baryonyx, would be perfect for catching large fish (or, in Gorgo’s case, whales). 


However, Gorgo’s teeth are long, pointed and thin.  This would indicate a fish-related diet.  Given these two contradictory elements, it is more likely that Gorgo is actually a filter feeder.  Eating and feeding like large whales, gulping schools of medium-to-small fish from cod to herring, and probably krill as well. 


The next point that should be brought up:  Gorgo and Ógra have heavy armor on their back.  The first instinct might be to think of them as defenses against predators—but the adult Gorgo is over 200ft tall.  Not much can prey on that besides other Kaiju or other members of its species.   Alligators too are heavily armored animals, mostly to deal with fights amongst themselves: males for territory and mates, females for territory and nesting privileges.

The final bit of behavioral notation comes from the fins on either side of the animal’s head.  They appear to be for minor displays of emotion between species, like a smile or frown would with a human.  Here, there’s only one display readily apparent – when the ‘ears’ flap, the animal is agitated or upset. 


Both of which are really unsurprising emotions for a mother desperately trying to reclaim her offspring to express. 


BILLY BOB THORNTON Drives The Trailer to JAYNE MANSFIELD'S CAR

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Here is the new trailer for Billy Bob Thornton's movie Jayne Mansfield's Car. The film has already premiered in Australia and is actually headed to DVD and Blu-ray. There is still no distribution plan outside of Auz.

The film takes place in 1969, and a man is dragged into a feud when his ex-wife's body is brought back to Alabama after she dies. With a strong cast including Kevin Bacon, Robert Duvall, John Hurt, Frances O'Connor, Robert Patrick,  and Ray Stevenson, it's kind of surprising this hasn't made it's way over to the states.



Watch A Cool Chase Scene From THE BOURNE LEGACY

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This new clip from the latest entry in the Bourne franchise shows us Jeremy Renner's new character which seems to be just like the original Jason Bourne. He's got some training with running, fighting, you name it looks like he can do it. Tony Gilroy directs the new film based on Robert Ludlum's character with an original story.

The Bourne Legacy is scheduled to hit theaters on August 10th.




THE DARK KNIGHT RISES (review)

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Produced by Christopher Nolan, Charles Roven, Emma Thomas 
Screenplay by Christopher Nolan, Jonathan Nolan 
Story by David S. Goyer, Christopher Nolan 
Based on Characters by Bob Kane 
Directed by Christopher Nolan 
Starring Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Gary Oldman, Anne Hathaway,
Tom Hardy, Marion Cotillard, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, 
Morgan Freeman, Matthew Modine, Juno Temple


It's been 8 long years since the Batman took the fall for the death of Harvey Dent and Gotham has thrived, using the Dent Act to all but eliminate crime. That is until the emergence of 99-percenter Bane, a ruthless mercenary with a bad case of asthma and a bone to pick with America's most beloved city. Unfortunately, the only one who can help, Bruce Wayne, has become Howard Hughes (minus the piss jars) and walks with the help of a cane.

Let the games begin...

Stuff blows up. Bane speaks unintelligibly. And Batman is forced out of retirement to kick some ass. At least until he has a vertebrae or two displaced and is dropped into a well (somewhere in the Middle East) that would give Lassie a coronary. Can The Dark Knight rise and save a Gotham City under siege from certain doom?

Of course. But it's the journey, not the destination.

And boy is that journey clunky and convoluted. You can't help but ask yourself if there wasn't a simpler way for the baddies to go about their plot but chances are you'll be having too much fun to notice or even care. The Dark Knight Rises is a solid ensemble piece with the always reliable Joseph Gordon-Levitt leading the way as a crusading cop who was raised in an orphanage. And anyone who had their doubts about Anne Hathaway's Catwoman will most likely find her performance pitch purrrfect (cue the groans).

Tonally, the movie is equal measures Batman Begins and The Dark Knight which allows it to feel epic and personal at the same time.

And while the bulk of the action never quite tops the opening plane hijacking, there's more than enough going on here to keep you invested in the two hour and forty minute thrill ride that's a fitting end to Christian Bale/Christopher Nolan's Batman trilogy.


Bond Shows Off His New Car In The New Video Blog From SKYFALL

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With the 23rd movie in the 007 franchise on the way we are seeing some production videos from the set of Skyfall that give a brief glimpse of what we might see in the film.

This latest video blog focuses on Bond's new Aston Martin DB5 and the importance of keeping a car that is essentially part of his identity. With quips from director Sam Mendes and other members of the cast and crew, there really isn't much said about the plot or what will happen, except for one clue Mendes gives about the end of the film.



COLIN FARRELL And KATE BECKINSALE Get In A Fight In This New TOTAL RECALL Clip

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Total Recall is back and we have a brand new clip from the film which features the lead character Doug Quaid, as played by Colin Farrell, getting in a fight with Kate Beckinsale's Lori. In the movie Farrell's character is given a memory and doesn't know what is real and what was fabricated so now he has people chasing him and he's not quite sure why. The film also stars Bryan Cranston, Jessica Biel, Bill Nighy, and John Cho.

Total Recall will head to theaters on August 3rd.



Film clip from Total Recall 2012: Quaid (Collin Farrell) tells Lori (Kate Beckinsale) about his Rekall experience but he suddenly gets attacked by her.

Starring Collin Farell, Kate Beckinsale, Jessica Biel. Opens in Singapore theatres 2 August 2012. Rating: TBA


THE BOOB TUBE: Two Days Of Filming Done AT AMERICAN HORROR STORY, NICK Launches TMNT, GUILLERMO DEL TORO Talks Hulk On TV, And Jennifer Jason Leigh has Revenge.

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AMERICAN HORROR STORY Is Two Days Into Season 2



The scary show that took most people by surprise is now the show with the most Emmy nominations, only tied with Mad Men. Ryan Murphy talked a bit about the second season reiterating that the new season would be "a completely different story, a completely different period, and a completely different look."

He also said that two days into shooting it's clear it can't be compared to the first season.  "Everyone looks so different. People who were enemies last year are allies this year. The sets are amazing. It’s 1964, so everything looks very different."


Nickelodeon Sets A Launch Date For New NINJA TURTLES Toys

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are back, and they have a new look, new toys, and new voices. The turtles will now be voices by Jason Biggs as Leonardo, Sean Astin as Raphael, Greg Cipes as Michelangelo, and Rob Paulsen as Donatello. They now CGI'd turtles will still be based in their New York City Sewer lair and occasionally pop out to stop crime, take down Shredder and find some Pizza.

The toys will come out this fall with the same look and feel as the new show. Nick has 26 episodes lined up and is hoping to bring in new fans as well as older fans. Paramount was working on a live action film project with Michael Bay, but that was shelved until at least 2014. Mostly to rewrite the script which caught a lot of flack for making the turtles into aliens.


GUILLERMO DEL TORO Talks About THE HULK TV Series

It's been in the works for a while now, but Del Toro is talking about the development of the show which we last heard was at ABC and they wanted it to air next year. Focusing on the look of the show he mentioned that he wants this to look and be completely separate from recent versions like the one with Edward Norton or more recently Mark Ruffalo. Moving on to the actual development of the show he said "We're waiting for a particular writer to do a rewrite on the pilot. That's where we are right now. But we're still on."





JENNIFER JASON LEIGH Is Getting REVENGE

With Weeds ending, and Jennifer Jason Leigh's arc ending, she is looking to another drama to star in. Revenge has picked up the actress for a recurring role in a major story arc for the second season. She will play the mother of Emily VanCamp's character. The character was previously thought to be dead but it was revealed in the season 1 finale that she is still around. The soap is moving to a new slot on Sunday nights for the second season.


WEAR A TAIL And Get Some Tail With This Fashion Accessory

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You'll have to excuse me about this post but I just re-read Crooked Little Vein by Warren Ellis for the thousandth time and there's a whole scene about lizard bukkake and well, seeing this girl wearing a lizard tail made me think that perhaps I might want to start appealing to a niche group of Godzilla lovers out there.

You know, up my reader quota a bit.

But maybe you're not into masturbatory fantasies about giant rubber-suited monsters and would prefer to live large like a fox or something.

Well you're in luck because this tail makin' company has your ass covered:


Yes, you can be any animal you want (provided all you want is a tail) and live a life of happiness.

Of course, that doesn't mean anyone will ever understand you, you know, but that's okay right?

Source: Incredible Things


CINE-GEEK NUGGETS: RAIMI On EVIL DEAD REMAKE, LIEV SCHREIBER Has His LAST DAYS ON MARS, The Full Cast Of WRECK IT RALPH, Plus, TAYLOR KITSCH In NEED FOR SPEED, 3 For MORTAL INSTRUMENTS And More.

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The New Viper In WOLVERINE Might Be SVETLANA KHODCHENKOVA


With Jessica Biel walking away from the role of Viper, it looks like a slightly less recognizable name will be filling in for the love interest/villain of Wolverine. The Russian actress Svetlana Khodchenkova is currently the name attached to the part. She's mostly done work in Russia, but you might remember her from Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy. Fox is looking to lock down the role of Viper soon so production can continue. This seems to be a much more fitting casting since Viper is said to come from some Eastern European country in the source comics.
 

SAM RAIMI Says New EVIL DEAD Is Gut Wrenching And Intense

Sam Raimi talked to MTV News recently about the new Evil Dead. We already know that the film is going to be completely different than the original and will be a very serious horror film. Raimi seems pleased with Fede Alvarez's work on the film and doesn't have the same sort of unease that many fans were feeling with the first news on this project. And just to clear it up Ash will not have any sort of role in the new film.





COLUMBIA Has Sequel Plans For 21 JUMP STREET, MIB, JUMANJI

With recent success for films like 21 Jump Street and Men in Black 3, the news about follow-ups to those movies hardly comes as a shock. Jump Street will return with Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum and a script from Michael Bacall. It might even have a start date this fall. MIB4 will continue the franchise with Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones. The really interesting news is that they're going to bring back Jumanji and update it for the present. I guess they'll have to play with some sort of magical iPad app now, actually I wouldn't be surprised if that tie-in is created. Finally there was an update on The Girl Who Played with Fire. The studio is said to be "pushing ahead" with the second of the Millenium Trilogy. While Rooney Mara and Daniel Craig are expected to return, there is no word on if David Fincher will be coming back. With the studio changing plans and using a lower budget, they might have to look for someone cheaper.


A First Looks At LIEV SCHREIBER In LAST DAYS ON MARS


Ruairi Robinson is making his debut sci-fi directing movie called Last Days on Mars. The Oscar nominated director is hoping that his background in commercials will lead to something bigger. The story follows Liev Schreiber's character who is one of “a group of astronaut explorers [who] succumb one by one to a mysterious and terrifying force while collecting specimens on Mars.”


LOST Writer CARLTON CUSE Will Penn SAN ANDREAS 3D

Carlton Cuse may not have signed on to projects right after Lost ended, but now he's had time to relax and will join the team of San Andreas 3D. The disaster movie that surprisingly doesn't have Roland Emmerich attached. Allan Loeb wrote the latest draft of the script with Brad Peyton set to direct, but Cuse will be doing a complete rewrite. The story follows a man traveling from San Francisco to LA to see hi wife and kids, but then an earthquake hits. That's all we really know, you make up the rest and see if it comes true.



The Rest Of The Cast Of WRECK IT RALPH Is Announced

Disney sent out a press release yesterday with the rest of the casting for Wreck It Ralph, the upcoming animated feature about a video-game villain who doesn't want to be the bad guy anymore, so he leaves and starts to join other games. Here's the rundown of who else you will hear in the film:

  • Alan Tudyk (ABC’s “Suburgatory,” “Dodgeball”) as King Candy, ruler of Sugar Rush, a candy-coated cart racing game
  • Ed O’Neill (ABC’s “Modern Family”) as Mr. Litwak, owner of Litwak’s Family Fun Center & Arcade
  • Mindy Kaling (“The Mindy Project,” “The Office”) as Taffyta Muttonfudge, an accomplished racer and Vanellope’s nemesis
  • Dennis Haysbert (CBS’s “The Unit,” “24”) as General from the first-person shooter game, Hero’s Duty
  • Edie McClurg (“Ferris Bueller's Day Off,” TV’s “The Life & Times of Tim,” “Planes, Trains & Automobiles”) – as Mary, a Nicelander who lives within the game Fix-It Felix, Jr.
  • Roger Craig Smith (Captain Marvel from TV’s “The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes,” Ezio from game franchise “Assassin’s Creed”) as Sonic the Hedgehog
  • Gerald C Rivers (video game "Street Fighter" series) as M. Bison
  • Rachael Harris (“The Hangover,” TV’s “New Girl”) as Deanna, a Nicelander who lives within the game Fix-It Felix, Jr.
  • Stefanie Scott (Disney Channel’s “A.N.T. Farm”) as Moppet Girl, a young arcade enthusiast who visits Litwak’s arcade
  • Adam Carolla (“The Adam Carolla Show”) as Wynchel, Sugar Rush security
  • Horatio Sanz (“Saturday Night Live”) as Duncan, Sugar Rush security
  • Reuben Langdon (multiple “Street Fighter” video games) as Ken from Street Fighter
  • Kyle Hebert (multiple “Street Fighter” video games, TV’s “The Avengers: Earth’s Mightiest Heroes”) as Ryu from Street Fighter

KEVIN DURAND And MARTON CSOKAS Join The Cast Of NOAH

There's going to be a few more people on Darren Aronofsky's ark with the news that Kevin Durand and Marton Csokas have signed on for Noah. Russell Crowe is leading the cast as the title character with Jennifer Connelly playing his wife, Logan Lerman and Douglas Booth as their kids, with Emma Watson being Booth's companion. Ray Winstone will be the villain of the film. Durand will play a giant who helps the family on their way. Csokas is only said to have a supporting role, no other information was given. The film will see Noah as a disillusioned man who is unhappy with what humans have done to the earth. Sources say it won't be as dark as Aronofsky's normal films.



TAYLOR KITSCH Offered The Lead In NEED FOR SPEED

In the adaptation of racing video game series Need For Speed, we might see Taylor Kitsch as the lead role. Dreamworks has offered the actor the part which could tell the story of a new driver who has to race across the US to make a name for himself and get some money to pay off debts. The film is set to release in February 2014 and could potentially be a franchise starter like the videogame series of the same name. George Gatins is writing a script with Scott Waugh attached to direct.


 GAO,  HEADEY, And  HARRIS Join THE MORTAL INSTRUMENTS

In the adaptation of Cassandra Clare's fantasy novel The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones, Lily Collins plays a young woman who finds out she is the descendant of a secret group of half-angel warriors. Now we hear that Lena Heady from Game of Thrones, Jared Harris from Mad Men, and Godfrey Gao, a relative unknown in the US, will all be joining the cast. Harald Zwart will direct the project which will go into production shortly.



Smallville: Random, Awesome and WTF?! - S6E18: Progeny

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The secrets of Chloe’s past begin to come to light as the connection to her mother’s mental state is revealed along with, possibly, her own meteor powers first hinted at a few episodes back.

And just await until you see who’s playing Mrs. Sullivan.  It’s wonderful…


The Random:
1. Lana wonders if there’s something wrong with her, and if that’s why she lost the baby.  She’s lost her job, her past boyfriends, her best friend, her parents, an old guy (twice), a kid she was babysitting, and any credibility with anyone so it’s kind of hard not to see a pattern…

2. Chloe’s mom has the ability to control anyone with Kryptonite abilities, including Chloe, and now she’s a prisoner of Lex who wants to see just how far those powers of hers extend.  This won’t end well.

3. It’s nice the way Chloe’s mom can turn her into a ninja assassin.  My mom just makes lasagna for me.  It’s not the same type of relationship.

There’s more hot in this scene than I can handle…

The Awesome:
1. So who’s that playing Chloe’s crazy mom?  Why, it’s none other than Lynda Carter, TV’s Wonder Woman, still looking as drop dead gorgeous as she ever did.

2. Chloe’s really changed a lot over the last six years and it’s nice to get a Chloe-centric story to explore her past and the emotional scenes between her and her mom come off as genuine, especially where the drugs Lex gave her start wearing off and she drifts off into a catatonic state once more.

3. Lex vs. Chloe is just brain on brain goodness and watching her stand up to him while Lex showed just how deep his plans within plans go and now it’s on and Clark says it in no uncertain terms: “It’s inevitable—the war is about to begin.”

“If you’ll excuse me, Mrs. Sullivan, I have to go threaten your daughter.
You’ll see yourself out, right?”

The WTF?!:
1. So, Lex’s people wait until like eight hours later to investigate the crash site from where he was run off the road because we all know evidence left out in the open won’t possibly be ruined by the elements, right?  That’s why cops leave murder scenes untouched for days at a time.

2. Luthor mansion is once again infiltrated, and this time Lana is spirited away by Clark and taken to the hospital.  Wonder how Lex’s crack security team is going to explain this one to him.  Maybe the way Lex will have to explain to Lana she was never actually pregnant in the first place?  They should do that one on Maury.  Lex, you are not the father!

3. I really need to see the job descriptions for the people who work at all of these shady medical research facilities.  Are they on USAJobs.com or something?  Because I’ve totally looked and can’t find them anywhere.

“So, I wasn’t pregnant?  So those mood swings were all ME?!  Damn.  I AM a hot mess.”



Get Lost in a Good Fantasy Series, Part 2: Riyria Reveleations

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Some years ago, author Michael J. Sullivan began writing a fantasy for his daughter: a story that she would enjoy hearing, but also one that he would enjoy reading.

It eventually turned into a six-book epic fantasy series that was published through an independent press.

What was perhaps most unique about the Riyria Revelations was that Sullivan had all six books completely plotted and planned to serve as individual, stand-alone novels, but also linked together into a long series.

The series slowly but surely gained momentum and a following, as more readers and fans were discovered, and the books received more ratings and reviews on the likes of Good Reads and Amazon, and Sullivan received more and more interview requests, including with yours truly.

His popularity and success grew to such a point that after the release of the fifth book in the series, Sullivan finally got that big publishing contract with Orbit Books, who released the series in three volumes late last year and early this year, with two books in each volume.

This is the story of two thieves who change and grow and develop through each of the six books, as readers become so attached to them that by the end they feel like family. It is also the story of what heritage and history means, and that the past is never truly gone, but also that sometimes these things don’t have to matter as much as people think they do, and it’s important to enjoy life however you can.




Theft of Swords: In The Crown Conspiracy our main characters are nothing but low-life thieves: Royce Melborn and Hadrian Blackwater, although they’re very good at their jobs.  The story begins with the introduction of these intrepid characters and their next heist to steal a particular item within the impenetrable confines of the king’s castle.  But as soon as they have their hands on the item, the trap is sprung, and they find themselves part of an elaborate plot.  At their feet lies the lifeless body of the king.

From here, the story kicks into high-gear, taking the reader on a wild ride.  In this world it is important to know who your friends are and who are your enemies; it is also important to keep your enemies closest.  As the story unfolds, we learn that while they may be common thieves, they are very smart people.  They also realize that the idea of being a good person is starting to rub off on them, as they no longer do anything for a fast buck.

By the end of the book, everything seems to have sorted itself out.  Royce and Hadrian are now doing very well for themselves, as well as being close friends of the king.  But clearly all is not as it should, since this is the first book in the series.

In Avempartha, our intrepid duo returns in the second installment of The Riyria Revelations to solve another mystery and fight another day. 


Before Royce and Hadrian barely have time to settle after the fun had in The Crown Conspiracy, they find themselves pulled into a new problem: a young woman needs their help as her village is being attacked by an unknown nocturnal creature.

The town of Dahlgren is an idyllic place, except now it is visited each night by an ancient monster looking to terrorize and kill everyone.  Royce and Hadrian know they can’t take on this beast by themselves, at least not without some impressive magic, and call on the help of their old friend and brilliant wizard, Esrahaddon.  Hadrian does his best to protect the town and its people, fortifying it, and having everyone hide out in the fortress each night.  Meanwhile Royce and Esrahaddon journey to the ancient elven tower known as Avempartha.  There they hope to confront the beast and kill it.  But everything doesn’t go according to plan, as it never does, and Hadrian learns some very important things about himself.


Rise of Empire: In Nyphron Rising, things take a turn for the worse as war comes sweeping through to Melengar and its people have little hope and respect for their recent, young king.  Princess Arista has been running around playing diplomat and trying to secure allies for Melengar, with nothing to show for it.  Meanwhile the enemy Nyphron Empire continues to grow in strength and numbers.  Arista has one more trick up her sleeve, and with the help of her good friends, Royce and Hadrian, goes on this last journey far south in a last effort to secure an ally, but also to unravel a mystery of Hadrian’s past.  Surprising results are revealed about our unknown thief that ties into the whole story of the Riyria Revelations.  The wizard Esrahaddon continues to be up to no good, while we learn more of the enigmatic man known as Degan Gaunt.

Sullivan does a great job with Nyphron Rising, after setting necessary groundwork and story and setting with the first two books, he opens it up on an epic scale, traveling his invented world, and educating readers on how future events are going to affect everyone across Elan, and why the forgotten history is important.  Royce and Hadrian continue to be the entertaining and interesting characters that they are, while Arista opens up her emotional side.

With the events of Nyphron Rising now at a close, the elusive duo, Royce and Hadrian aren’t sure what do to next.  Royce has plans to retire and relax, settle down with his lady love and enjoy the rest of his days, while Hadrian has dark shadows of his past and heritage to confront and accept, while deciding he is on a mission to find the lost heir of Novron.  It takes Royce all of three seconds and little convincing to decide that Hadrian won’t last long without him, and together the two set out, following the clues that lead them to the mighty trading vessel, the Emerald Storm.  They know nothing of seamanship and what to do aboard such a large vessel, but knowing one of the crewmen, they’re able to get added to the crew and begin the journey through the mysterious and interesting lands of Elan.  Naturally, there is lots of adventure on the high seas, not to mention some strange guests on the Emerald Storm, as well as the enigmatic cargo.  Meanwhile an important subplot is furthered along with the princess, who is bored with her station, looking to make her life more interesting, and gets some answers.


Heir of Novron: In Wintertide, on this year’s holiday of the same name, a special celebration has been planned.  The New Empire wants to make a big deal of its victory over the Nationalists, and has some important public executions planned: the villainous Degan Gaunt and the Witch of Melengar.  The only problem is that Royce and Hadrian are in town and they happen to be good friends with both of those people and have plans of springing them free whatever it takes.

Sullivan clearly had fun with Wintertide, playing around with Hadrian engaging in a joust, even though he doesn’t know much about the whole nobility and chivalry thing, but he sure knows how to fight.  And how having friends in the most unlikeliest of places often proves invaluable.  Fans will enjoy this penultimate chapter, with Sullivan’s strong descriptions and scenes of the winter festivities; of the sounds, sights and smells.  It’s an enjoyable, thrilling tale before the final showdown.

In Percepliquis, the beginning of the end has begun: the elves of old have crossed the Nidwalden River in large numbers and are coming to take over; they threaten the entire continent of Elan.  The people have little hope left; they know they don’t stand a chance against these powerful elves.  And it all comes down to Novron’s heir, who must make a stand, and the only way he can do that is by finding the sacred horn.  It will involve an arduous quest, with a strong group of warriors who also possess intellect.  They will have to travel deep beneath the ground, in search of the ancient, ruined city of Percepliquis, following an old diary that may not even be true.  Fortunately, Royce and Hadrian are coming along for the ride, so if these intrepid few have any chance of finding the horn and saving the people of Elan, only these two will be able to make it happen.

In the longest volume yet, Sullivan has outdone himself here with lots going on: multiple storylines, lots of action, lots of conflict between friends and enemies, important details from the previous books brought to light, travels through various terrains, and an ultimate duel.  With the thrill of a top-rate action movie, combined with the epic grandeur of Tolkien’s Return of the King, this is a final showdown you won’t be able to stop reading, let alone put down.  Who will live; who will die?  In this grand finale, anything can happen . .. you won’t want to miss it.






MY TOP 5: Movies With Amazing Slow-Motion

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July 20, 1971.

A day that will live in the hearts and minds of music fans forever. That, dear friends, is the day that Robert Earl Davis, Jr. was born.

You don't know him?

Maybe you know him better by his DJ name, DJ Screw. Also known as "The Originator," he invented the DJ technique, Chopped And Screwed. That, of course, is where the DJ slows down the beat of the record they are playing.
The main influence on this style is the constant ingestion of "purple drank," soda mixed with cough syrup.

Personally, I'm not a huge fan of this style of music because…well, we won't get into that right now. DJ Screw was not only born not too far from my hometown, but was a huge influence on the hip hop community (addiction to cough syrup or no), so I felt the need to commemorate the day of his birth by picking out the five best Chopped And Screwed movies.

(Watch out for spoilers here. It's hard to talk about slow motion scenes in movies without talking about the climaxes. Sorry.)

We'll start with the one that really started it all:

The Wild Bunch (1969)
Directed by Sam Peckinpah
Written by Sam Peckinpah and Walon Green




Sam Peckinpah didn't invent slow-motion, but he certainly perfected it.

Not only is The Wild Bunch one of the greatest Westerns ever made, but it is, to this day, one of the most violent. Peckinpah saw fit to make sure that we watched every moment of those gunfights and "ballets of death" by slowing down the action. For this "end of the Old West" story, he wanted us to feel every bullet ripping through the men who were watching their way of life die.

Unfortunately, by doing this he not only killed his characters off one by one, he helped to kill the genre. Not long after The Wild Bunch's release, Hollywood decided that it had gone far enough with Westerns and stopped making them on such a grand scale.

(Also, if you want to see the recently late Ernest Borgnine be a badass, watch this movie. Outside of Marty, he was really never better.)


The Matrix (1999)
Written and Directed by Andy Wachowski and Larry Wachowski




Technically, the filmmaking technique used in The Matrix is not considered slow motion.

It's actually called "flow motion" or "bullet time." Whatever. The action is slowed down so that we can see the bullets zip past Neo (Keanu Reeves) in a way that we had never seen before. The Wachowskis weren't the first to use bullet time (that would actually be a 1985 music video by a band called Accept), but they were the first outside of Gap commercials (directed by Michel Gondry) to be seen by a really big audience, which means that they were the first to really influence others to use the technique.

Where did the initial idea come from?

Well, the opening of the Japanese tv show Speed Racer, of course!


Koyaanisqatsi (1982)
Directed by: Godfrey Reggio




This semi-documentary is one of the best examples of free-form filmmaking.

Yes, it has a theme of man and our relationship with nature (it's title is Hopi for "life out of balance"), but Reggio himself said that he just shot whatever he thought would look good on film. Then he took those images and either sped them up or slowed them down in order to show the details with which our lives move forward.

With a thoughtful Philip Glass score, Koyaanisqatsi is an experimental film that, really, anyone can enjoy on some level.


Drive (2011)
Directed by Nicolas Winding Refn
Written by Hossein Amini
Based on book by James Sallis




Maybe this is a bit new to be on the list, but I think it fits if only for one scene.

First off, the movie is great and should be seen whether you're looking for killer slo-mo or not. The story of a driver, the woman he slowly falls in love with and the murders that happen around them is distanced, yet strangely heartfelt. And the music….oh, the music.

But that's not why we're here.

We're here because, after nearly an hour of slow moving drama, suddenly there are outbursts of gore-filled violence that shocked everyone in the theatre, especially the slow-motion death of a character that we think is going to be major. Unfortunately for her, she was introduced mainly to get her brain splattered all over an anonymous bathroom mirror in an explosion of gore that reminds us of just how fragile our heads are.


The Killer (1989)
Written and Directed by John Woo




The true descendent of Sam Peckinpah is John Woo.

Instead of Westerns, though, he made Hong Kong gangster movies that were so full of blood-lettings and brotherly love that he had to slow down the action to make us feel every inch of despair that these characters felt when their brothers in arms were killed. The Killer is my personal favorite of his films because of that bond that is held by the two main characters (Chow Yun-Fat and Danny Lee). These guys may be on opposite sides of the law, but they've become best friends.

That last shootout in the church (complete with Woo's favorite animal, the dove) is a rough one down to the final shots, and Chow's last moments are stretched so that we feel the anguish that Danny has all over his face. If ever there was a heartbreaking action film, this is it.


DRUNK GERMAN SOCCER FANS Cheer On A Woman Parallel Parking Her Car

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This is one of those moments when I wish I could hire drunk German soccer fans to follow me around as I do the mundane tasks in life (like laundry or shoveling dog poop off my yard) to celebrate my accomplishments just like they do for this woman in the following video.

Because frankly there are days when the sound of people cheering me on would make me feel truly appreciated.

Unlike the days when I get reminded by my neighbors that the particular shade of brown covering my lawn is not aesthetically pleasing to the house values on my block.  

(sigh)
 

Source: Tecca


SCARE YOUR CHILDREN Into Healthy Eating Habits With These Edible Stick-On Eyes

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Back in the day my mom used to dye white foods various colors so I would eat them (I had this thing about honky food) and thanks to her I grew up thinking cauliflower was actually purple so naturally, I looked like a dumbass to all the other kids who were smart and had parents that didn't lie to them about food colorings.

But perhaps these edible eye stick-ems might work a little bit better seeing how they don't actually mask the color of the vegetable, just impart a bit of sentient-like being to them what the eye ball thing.

Which is great health-wise because kids can learn to eat their veggies and grow big and strong (even though they are eating something with a face and are essentially being taught how to murder and devour their prey).

Perfect.

I don't see how this could go wrong at all.

Source: Badder Homes and Gardens


COLLIN MOCHIRE'S Favorite Scenes From 'Star Wars"

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What? You don't know who Collin Mochire is? Shame on you!

He is one of the brilliant performers from the television show Whose Line Is It Anyway (both the British and American versions) and right now he is acting out his favorite scenes from Star Wars.

I can't believe you don't know who he is...is it because he's not Justin Bieber? Is that it? Can you not look past the visage of a pre-teen YouTube star who happens to have good hair toward a distinguished older gentlemen playing with Star Wars figures?

He's Collin-fucking-Mocherie for Christ sake! Have some respect!

God, I hate you so much.


Source: Topless Robot


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