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WATCH EVERY GASP Annie Has Ever Shot Out Of Her Mouth On 'Community'

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Annie's outrage, surprise and horror should not only be enjoyed but savored as I'm pretty sure Community will be gone before we can blink an eye.

It's sad really, but this Super-Cut of air intake/output from the luscious mouth of Annie Edison is really all that we are going to have when the dream dies at the end of next season.

Well, that and everything Abed and Troy ever did.



Source: I Watch Stuff



BLACK DYNAMITE Is Coming To Pop A Cap In Adult Swim

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BLACK DYNAMITE LIGHTS UP THE NIGHT
New Animated Series Debuts Sunday, July 15th at 11:30 p.m. (ET/PT) on Adult Swim




Bust out your best polyester pants suit, because Black Dynamite is about to explode on the scene in 1970s Los Angeles. Black Dynamite, the new 30-minute animated series, will premiere on Sunday, July 15th, 2012 at 11:30 p.m. (ET/PT) on Adult Swim.

Based on 2009’s critically-acclaimed feature film, the Black Dynamite animated series further chronicles the exploits of the central character, Black Dynamite, and his crew. Under the direction of Carl Jones (The Boondocks), the series features the voice talent of Michael Jai White (For Better or Worse, The Dark Knight, Why Did I Get Married?), Tommy Davidson (In Living Color, Bamboozled), Kym Whitley (The Cleveland Show, Brian McKnight Show), and Byron Minns (Mongo Wrestling Alliance), all of whom starred in the feature film.

Black Dynamite is a 1970s renaissance man with a kung-fu grip. A lover and a fighter who is not afraid to leap before he looks. His sidekick extraordinaire is Bullhorn, the brains and cunning that complements Black Dynamite’s hard-hittin’, bone-crushin’ style. Providing comic relief on the mean streets is Cream Corn and classing up the place is the gorgeous Honey Bee.

Black Dynamite, the animated series, is being produced by Ars Nova. Jon Steingart, Carl Jones, and Jillian Apfelbaum are executive producers. Brian Ash is co-executive producer. Scott Sanders, Michael Jai White and Byron Minns are producers. Monica Jones is associate producer. Lesean Thomas is creative producer/supervising director. Original music by Adrian Younge. Black Dynamite is being animated by Titmouse, Inc.


CRUISE MAIN STREET IN GENE SIMMONS' MOUTH

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When I was an impressionable kid back in the seventies, I loved KISS with a wild abandon. I loved their costumes, I loved their hair and I really loved Gene Simmons' tongue.

Of course I didn't know why it appealed to me back when I was six, but it looked like an Anaconda and somehow my deeply repressed sexuality took this visual and kept it all for itself so when I did reach puberty, the KISS dreams would ruin my innocence.

But I digress.

However, this memento of KISS adoration is a bit different:
 First of all, it's street legal and while it does look like something out of hell, it appears to be completely comfortable (as I knew sitting in Gene's mouth would be).

And it is available for sale HERE...for $10,000.

Now, I know that it's a lot of money for a car that is essentially the face of Mr. Simmons but you know what? Lots of things are expensive and sometimes you just have to plunk down money for awesomeness.

I mean, just imagine pulling up to your date's house in this sweet ride. Why, I bet they will do things to you in that car that are illegal in certain states.

And isn't that worth ten grand?

I'm guessing that it is. Buy it.

Source: Tecca


THE BOOB TUBE: JIMMY FALLON Gets A Special, TERRY KINNEY Joins MOB DOCTOR, PETER BERG Working On M.I.C.E., And More

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NBC Gives JIMMY FALLON A One-Hour Primetime Music Special




Jimmy Fallon may already have his daily show Late Night, but now he will also have a special featuring the most popular musical sketches from the show. Jimmy Fallon's Primetime Music Special is scheduled to air next week on July 25th and will have many guest stars possibly including Neil Young, Justin Timberlake, Bruce Springsteen, Carly Rae Jepsen, Paul McCartney, and more. Expect to see classics from the show like Tebowie, Whip My Hair, and Scrambled Eggs. Of Course, The Roots will be there to help out with the sound of the show.


OZ Alum TERRY KINNEY Joins The Cast of MOB DOCTOR
Terry Kinney is set to play the character Salvator Amora in the new show Mob Doctor which stars Jordan Spiro as the title character who is indebted to the mafia after they help her with one small favor. Kinney, best known for his role on Oz will be "an acquaintance of Constantine." He will also be joined by Kevin Corrigan in the upcoming series.


PETER BERG Playing With M.I.C.E At NBC
Peter Berg has done pretty much every job in Hollywood, now he's headed to work on the small screen project M.I.C.E. A new series, which stands for Money, Ideology, Coercion and Ego, is based on the Israeli show of the same name. Berg will produce the drama for NBC with his Film 44 shingle.


TV Casting News
  • French model Zoe Aggeliki will play Natasha, the evil sister of Serena's love interest Steven Spence on Season 6 of the CW series Gossip Girl
  • 90210 star Ryan Rottman has joined The Lying Game as Jordan, a confident bad boy from Beverly Hills.
  • One Day At A Time actress Bonnie Franklin will play Sister Celeste, a streetwise nun who helps Victor out in The Young And The Restless.


THIS IS MY HOPE FOR MY 20-Year High School Reunion...And By Hope I Mean Complete Mental Breakdown

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I'm Assuming We Can Still Throw Our Hands In the Air
This Thursday I will be traveling to a weekend filled with possible drama, old flames and alcoholic poisoning.

Yes, I'm talking about my 20-year high school reunion (It's been how long?).

As horrifying and sad as it may be to see the very people who I lusted over looking like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, there's still a part of me that will hopefully look past the difficult aging process and be willing to shove my tongue down their throats.

Because in order for me to maintain the elaborate masturbation rituals set up back when I was a teenage girl, these people still need to do it for me. Otherwise I would have spent the last twenty years pleasuring myself to them for no reason other than nostalgia.

And that seems real sad.

Now, I'm an angry and bitter woman so I expect this weekend to go as well as most of my high school experiences went, which is to say, off-putting and embarrassing, but deep down, where that eighteen-year-old girl who once believed that the world was her oyster still resides, I'm hoping that the reunion resembles more like the Scissor Sisters song Let's Have a Kiki.

Which looks something like this:





That way at least when I come back home my emotional scars will have a much better soundtrack than the one it has now...which is mostly a playlist involving a shitload of The Smiths songs to which I cry to.

Source: Gawker


CINE-GEEK NUGGETS: CATCHING FIRE Adds Two, NOAH Adds GOYO, GARY ROSS Working On STARCATCHERS, And More

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SAM CLAFLIN And TONY SHALHOUB Eyed For CATCHING FIRE


In what is bound to be a very big sequel, Catching Fire is looking at Sam Claflin and Tony Shalhoub for parts in the second film in the Hunger Games trilogy.  Claflin, known for his role in Snow White And The Huntsman is now said to be the front runner for the role of Finnick, which previously had some big names being looked at. Shalhoub is on the shortlist for the part of Beetee, an inventor who uses electricity to create a forcefield for the Rebels. 


DAKOTA GOYO Added To Cast Of NOAH
Based on the director's graphic novel, Noah will be Darren Aronofsky's foray into the world of Biblical epics. Now the young actor Dakota Goyo has revealed through Twitter that he will be filming in Iceland with the rest of the cast including Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Emma Watson, and Anthony Hopkins. Goyo has previously starred in Real Steel and also had a small role in Thor.


DANIEL RADCLIFFE Is Friend Zoned By ZOE KAZAN In THE F WORD
Radcliffe has followed up Harry Potter with some dark indie movies and a few stage plays, but now he's taking on a romantic comedy with Zoe Kazan. Helmed by Goon director Michael Dowse, the screenplay from Elan Mastai is based on the play Toothpaste and Cigars by T.J. Dawe and Michael Rinaldi and appeared on the 2008 Black List. The story follows the two twenty years olds as they go through an awkward sort of relationship of just being friends while she still has a boyfriend.


JEREMY RENNER Is The New Lead For AMERICAN BULLSHIT
Although it won't have that title anymore, Jeremy Renner is signed on for the now untitled project with David O. Russell directing. He will star next to Bradley Cooper who replaces Christian Bale who has dropped out of the project for unknown reasons. Renner takes on the role that Cooper was originally set to play in the true story about a financial con artist who plays for the FBI and helps track down other con artists, mobsters and politicians. Renner is in talks to co-star as Jimmy Boyle, the "FBI agent who busts Weinberg and then partners with him in the sting."


GARY ROSS Will Go To Neverland For PETER AND THE STARCATCHERS
Disney's adaptation of the Dave Barry and Ridley Pearson novel finally has a director with Gary Ross. Now working on Catching Fire, the director will start on developing the 2004 adventure novel that was turned into an off-Broadway production. Jesse Wigutow is working on the script which follows Peter as he makes friends with Molly and tries to keep a powerful magical substance away from Black Stache, the villain who becomes Captain Hook.


ATARI SPACE INVADERS Burp Cloths Don't Have to Be Limited to Just Baby Spit Up...It Can Clean Up Adult Mountain Dew Vomit Just As Well

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I don't know what happened last Fall/Winter but there must have been something in the water, because all of a sudden I'm buying baby shower crap for a multitude of pregnant friends who should have never even entertained the idea of spreading their genetic material around all willy-nilly.

And in this pursuit of gifting their offspring with something other than boxes of diapers, I have found an etsy store run by nerd mom Miranda who makes various burp rags from fabric featuring everything from video games to superheros like this:


I mean, who wouldn't want to lay their baby on Wonder Woman's face so they puke on her?

But I don't see why burp rags need to be limited to just infants when their parents have been known to burp out a few Taquitos in their time (seriously guys, I've seen the disgusting things that have come up and out of you after a few too many).

So, next time I'm at a baby shower I'm throwing in a couple of burp rags for the adults...why should the kids have all the cool vomit-related items.

Source: Forever Geek


Smallville: Random, Awesome and WTF?! - S6E16: Promise

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The wedding event of the year is here at last as Knocked Up Lana and Baby Daddy Lex walk down the aisle in the most ill conceived union this side of a drunken night in Vegas.

But not everything is as it seems and blackmail and chicanery are afoot.  Now, that's more like an event in Smallville.

The Random:
1. Useless?  Yes.  Dumb as a bag of rocks?  Absolutely.  But mind-numbingly beautiful?  Very much so, I must give Lana credit for that at least.

2. All right, this is a first, but I’ve gotta give Lana some additional props for creating a scenario to confirm her suspicions about Clark and learn that he’s more than meets the eye.  Only, you know, less of a Transformer.

3. Poor Clark gets stood up by Lana and his own dog rejects his wedding proposal.  Tough day, CK.

Bet you thought I made that last one up, didn’t you?

The Awesome:
1. Clark and Mama Kent’s heart to heart is a moment that really grounds the show in a good way, reminding us of the human element of Clark and pain the loss of his father has caused.

2. Lionel promises Lex that he’ll ensure Lana won’t leave him at the altar, but what exactly is he up to?  Because you know it’s not good, whatever it is, and his scene with Lex serves as a good counterpart to the familial connection we saw with Clark and Mama Kent.

3. Only Lionel can orchestrate a plan in which a wedding more full of sham than Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise goes off without a hitch, figuring out that Lana knows about Clark and threatening her that if she doesn’t marry Lex, he’ll kill Clark.  And then he cleans up Lex’s church mess…and reminds him of it.  Father of the year?  Villain of the year?  Lionel just keeps us guessing.

“You’ll marry who I tell you to marry.  Now get me a sandwich.”

The WTF?!:
1. Everyone in this episode seems to be having some horrible, acid-induced whacked out dreams from Clark dreaming about killing the happy couple to Lex imagining his unborn child is staring at him through a sonogram with glowing eyes.  No wonder they both love Lana, they’re high as kites.

2. So, Dr. Langston knows enough about Lex to know he can contact him directly and talk about half the shady crap he’s capable of so he does what?  Oh, that’s right, he confronts him right before his wedding and threatens him with blackmail, which predictably ends with Lex killing him.  Beneath a church.  Well, all right.

3. Lana’s not the greatest actress on the best of days, so how exactly does she expect to survive in that household when she’s afraid of her husband and worried her father-in-law is going to kill the guy she actually does love? 

“I’m going to blackmail you because there’s no way you’ll possibly
do anything to me down here where no one can see or hear us
and where no one I know knows I am”



HOT DOGS ARE OUT To Kill Your Children

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Everyone knows that hot dogs are evil cylindrical food objects made from the assholes of animals, but did you also know that they harbor a hatred for children?

Neither did I until I saw the commercial for the Dog Dicer and came away with a fear for my nephews who wolf down these dogs like they were nothing more than food.

OH MY GOD, THE HORROR!



Thank You Dog Dicer for your amazing ability TO SLICE THE HOTDOG INTO PIECES (unlike a knife which does not contain the strength necessary to break through the tough skin of a hot dog apparently).

Source: Neatorama


Then What Happened?: JIMMY EAT WORLD Brought Us A Message Of Hope And Then We Just Kind Of Forgot About Them

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The Band: Jimmy Eat World

The Song: “The Middle”


I can’t speak for everyone, but when I was twelve years old, sincerity wasn’t high on my list of priorities.

Most of my decisions revolved around making it through middle school, and emotional honesty holds little value with the average group of seventh-graders.

If you don’t want to be subject to the casual terrors of grades six through eight, you do not show emotion.

You do not publicly enjoy any sort of music that might even suggest that you have emotions, or even worse, that you are “a total wuss.”

You do not, in other words, listen to a song like “The Middle” by Jimmy Eat World.

And yet we did!

No one I know ever talked about the song—except maybe to make fun of it—but in the final months of 2001, “The Middle” rose to the top of the charts. A lot of people were listening to that song, and I’d wage that middle-school students made up a large part of those people. We were all just too afraid to talk about it.

As perfectly positioned as me and my peers were to receive “The Middle” at the time of its release (it’s literally called middle school), I know we weren’t the only people who liked that song. With its re-assuring, confidence boosting, “don’t worry about what other people say” lyrics, “The Middle” can bring comfort to anyone. Everyone has times when they feel left out or looked-down-on, and when that happens, it’s nice to have a band like Jimmy Eat World to tell you that everything’s going to be alright.




It all sounds pretty cheesy, and yeah, it kind of is, but the song works for one reason: it’s sincere.

There’s no sense that lead singer Jim Atkins is being ironic or calculating. He’s expressing a completely genuine human emotion, which of course meant that I had no room for him in my twelve-year-old life. Maybe I was worried that liking a song about feelings would make me seem lame or maybe I was just a cynical little jerk who thought songs with positive lyrics belonged in children’s television shows.

Either way, I didn’t really like “The Middle.” “Sweetness,” on the other hand—that was my jam.




Looking back on it now, though, I can see that “The Middle” is a great song.

The listening public knew it was great, and they embraced it with fervor. The year was 2001, the pop-punk/emo wave was just about to crest, and Jimmy Eat World was popular enough to seem like they had a long career in front of them.

So… what happened?


The obvious answer is that people stopped liking pop-punk and emo. Not me, though. I still love them both, and listening to Jimmy Eat World’s full discography has exposed me to a whole mess of awesome songs. Still, most people are not like me, and the world is surely worse off for it. 

But I don’t think Jimmy Eat World simply paid the price for sticking to a sound that fell out of public favor.

See, originally, they were a straight-up punk band with a different lead singer, but then Jim Adkins became the front man and the band recorded Clarity, which has been referred to as “the Led Zeppelin IV of emo rock.” It’s kind of a silly description, but it does indicate how musically inventive the band once was.

After “The Middle,” Jimmy Eat World settled into a groove. It’s a fine groove, one that has produced several albums full of same strong melodies and confessional lyrics that made the band successful in the first place, but it’s still a groove. However, even that doesn’t quite explain the decline that followed their sudden rise to success. So, what’s the real issue here?

Jimmy Eat World never stopped making sincere songs with big hooks, but the problem with the rest of those songs is that none of them are “The Middle.” That’s no slight against the band, but on their follow-up album, Futures, the closest they got to a “Middle”-like single was “Pain,” a song about someone who escapes emotional anguish through copious drug use. It isn’t a bad song, but it’s certainly not the emotional warm blanket of their big hit.




The fact that a band like Jimmy Eat World had a hit as big as “The Middle” is a simple matter of “right song, right time”. After years of writing similar-sounding songs, the stars just aligned, and Jimmy Eat World produced a single that took their sound and put it in a neat little package, just waiting to be enjoyed by anyone in need of a musical pick-me-up, be they a seventh grader or someone with a smidge more emotional maturity.

The track “Big Casino,” one of the band’s many great latter-day songs, contains this line: “There’s still some living left when your prime comes and goes.” John Cougar Mellencamp said it a little differently, but the point is basically the same: life goes on, and you’ve got to deal with it.




It’s a good line and it is certainly not an accident that it echoes the band’s own diminished popularity.

Still, I wonder if “Big Casino” had the same effect on older listeners that “The Middle” had on twelve-year-olds. It’s not hard to imagine someone of a certain age hearing that song and feeling the same sense of comfort and re-assurance that Jimmy Eat World first gave so many people back in 2001.

I believe—or at least hope—that my prime is still ahead of me, so I can’t say for sure. Still, it’s nice to think about.


DRINK CANDY PEE And Impress No One

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You know, I'm all for candy that looks like it's supposed to be something else (worms, bears, the cast of The Flintstones) but I don't know if I would EVER slurp down a sample cup of candy pee without seriously questioning why I would do something like that (and then seeking psychiatric help).

But perhaps that's just me. Maybe loads of people have no problem drinking candy waste products in front of their business associates. Maybe that's just how they roll.

But one thing's for sure, the moment I spy someone cutting into a candy turd at lunch I'm quitting the human race...


That's it, I'm outta here.

Source: Laughing Squid


Song of Myselves: The Wacky Antics of OTHERKIN

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As a child, I loved to pretend.

One of my favorite characters to pretend to be was Mega Man.

I specifically remember owning a black Adidas rain jacket.

In the late summers of North Carolina, rain often comes unpredictably and leaves behind oppressive humidity. Most other kids solved that problem by tying their jackets around their waists.

I found a more amusing solution: I’d wrap it around my lower arm in a bunch. It looked like Mega Man’s blaster.

I got my gun from beating Jacketman.

I liked Mega Man, and I identified with what he had versus who I was.

As a weak, scared little kid I wanted to be powerful, and fight robots, and have cool anime hair.

For a moment, I could pretend to be him rather than the skinny computer nerd with the weird voice.

But what if I actually thought I was Mega Man?

What if I became upset when people referred to me as a person rather than a cyborg?

What if those childhood memories became a part of my self-actualization?

They can, readers. Let’s go to a place where we never grow up: the internet!



The Lowdown
Otherkin is a blanket term for people who identify as something other than human. Like trans* or queer, the term becomes a lot more complicated from there, often expressed as *kin for the different kinds of identifications. There are dragonkin, catkin, demonkin, elfkin, trollkin (referring specifically to characters from Homestuck) fictionkin…the label is infinite because according to otherkin, people can identify as literally anything and be considered legitimate.

People can even identify as other people.

Some of the most controversial members of the *kin community are those who identify as “multiple.”

These people believe that multiple souls or personalities, real or fictional, live inside their “headspace.” For instance, one could believe Sherlock Holmes, Sephiroth, Tyrion Lannister, and a fairy interact with each other on some sort of astral plane. This could potentially be due to dissociative identity disorder, role-playing gone too far, or perhaps a genuine belief. It’s a case-by-case basis, and difficult to tell.

Tyrion Lannister after finding out someone identifies as him.

It’s unsure exactly where otherkin got started. The Wikipedia article (I do legitimate research, guys) claims that it started in the early 90s on Usenet. One of the earliest and most well-documented examples of otherkin on the internet exists in the FF7 house, an entire home full of people who identified as characters from Final Fantasy VII. It is likely there was some otherkin crossover with the role-playing community, due to similar interests in fantasy and sci-fi. Vampires have also been a long-standing staple of the *kin community; popular site  Les Vampires dates back to 2001, according to the Wayback Machine.

Five! Fiiiiivveee members in my multiple system, ahhh ha-ha!

Otherkin, along with most other marginalized identity groups, now make their primary home at tumblr. There is a huge amount of crossover between *kin, trans*, queer, and various other sexual identities.

Just as personal pronouns are important to other identities, many otherkin prefer to be called “beings.”


The Milk
It is difficult to say that otherkin truly provide “milk” as a community. Despite my earlier Peter Pan joke, most otherkin are pretty sane, respectful people who just want to continue being a dragon or unicorn or whatever. And that’s fine.

Indeed, otherkin milk is rather passive: they’re interesting and amusing simply because they exist. The community has joined together to form some rather strange stuff, including a hypothetical “otherkin restaurant.” Dishes there would be tailored to specific kinds of kin, which could cause some problems, given the nature of animals to eat each other.



Otherkin are also extremely controversial on tumblr and get into debates over the legitimacy of their identities. However, even this is not really “milk.”

Just like any other alternative identity, the otherkin label is subject to exploitation for potential attention-seeking or less-than-legitimate purposes. One of the most famous multiple otherkin on tumblr, The Pawfeet Collective, partially identifies as Eric Harris.

If that doesn’t ring a bell, perhaps this will.



The Pawfeet Collective is a 25 year-old person – though not technically, I guess – who has a system of over 20 people in his head, one of whom is a dead teenager who killed people at his high school. TPC has defended Eric in several posts, claiming that he HYPERLINK "" believes in “second chances” and that Eric was a “kid pushed too far.” They also claim that Eric expresses regret for the crime to other members of his system. Though they have the power to make beings “leave” their system, they apparently cannot control that Eric entered his head. Of course.

TPC also insist they have no mental disorder. Members of their system answer questions on the tumblr, switching between each other frequently. Like many *kin, TPC receives an extreme volume of hate mail. Identifying as a spree killer is definitely an easy way to do that.

The Big Picture
We live in a time where personal identities are becoming more complex. Only a few decades ago, you were either a straight boy or girl. Then you could be a gay man or a lesbian. Now, with the growing emergence of trans* culture, it’s pretty hard to define what gender is. Otherkin are another logical step in that progression. If we can’t define gender, can we define humanity?

Some would question the legitimacy of an otherkin identity, and they certainly have cause to do so. Its almost universal overlap with fantasy and mythology makes it sound like a child’s pretend fantasy way past its expiration date. Likewise, saying you have a murderer living in your head seems like a desperate play for attention. It’s like that annoying girl from your high school, the one who identified as straight but made out with girls at parties to get attention from dudes.

“Yeah dude, I totally saw Hannah and Chelsea making out the other night. FUCKING RIGHT, BRO!”

The skepticism is enhanced by a frequent trait amongst lolcows: the internet as an enabling mechanism. Many otherkin may not have even been otherkin until they discovered it was a thing they could be.

The issue with questioning otherkin identity is that, well, we really can’t.

Just as an asexual pangender heteroqueer (I just made that up) might not understand how I’m a cisgender guy who likes cisgender girls, I’m simply unable to understand how anyone could identify as a damn unicorn. That doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a “wrong” way to identify even though unicorns are obviously not real.

I WANT TO BELIEVE
But even then, most unicornkin aren’t going to do us any harm by bro-ing out with other unicornkin. We have the right to laugh, and the right to not understand, just as they have the right to not understand us so long as we can get along. The otherkin on tumblr should never be sent messages telling them to kill themselves, but they also shouldn’t be surprised when people think their identities are a little strange.
Despite this, I ask that you please respect my new identity. I am Jon, the BMW M3.

My only preferred pronoun is “badass.”



WATCH MR. WIZARD Be A Huge Dick to Children

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Mr. Wizard (nee Don Herbert) was a science educator who made children appreciate the wonder of experimentation and the fun of blowing shit up.

He was also kind of a dick.

In the following super-cut featuring Mr. Wizard you will see that, although his experiments were super cool, he kinda thought kids were stupid shits who couldn't do anything right unless he was there supervising them.

Which he was probably right about since children are notoriously retarded.

I still miss that asshole though.




Source: io9


HOW TO CONVERSE INTELLIGENTLY About 'The Game of Thrones' Even Though You Have Never Read Any Of the Books Or Watched Any Of the Episodes

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I'm a big believer that most conversations about any one thing can be had by knowing very little about it...as long as you keep to certain particulars that the other person in the conversation (who is much better and knowledgeable than you will ever be) can expand upon.

By doing this very simple thing your life will be filled with people who think you are a marvelous conversationalist when, in reality, you are nothing more than an ignorant tool.

Which is how I've pretty much amassed a group of friends who love and adore me even though I am really a sub-par human being who contributes nothing but the occasional onion dip at parties.

So, here's a short tutorial on The Game of Thrones that should help you out when you are surrounded by fans of the George R.R. Martin fuck-fest, and which will show you how valuable barely adequate knowledge about this fantasy world will make you look to other people.

Enjoy.




Source: Geeks Are Sexy


Welcome To My Queue: Holmes, Narcs, Chan Clans, Silent Movie and More

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So, if you waited too long to buy your ticket to The Dark Knight Rises or you're just waiting for the crowds to die down, you really shouldn't deny yourself some entertainment.

After the jump check out some recent releases and set aside some time to watch some cinemagic.


The Artist
Sony Pictures / Released June 26, 2012




A beautiful, magical film (which in many ways mirrors the classic Singing in the Rain), The Artist tells the story of George Valentin (Jean Dujardin), a larger than life movie star, and his fall from grace as silent films are being replaced with "talkies."  Along the way he meets and is charmed by Peppy Miller (Bérénice Bejo) an actress, who's meteoric rise parallels Valentin's fall.  As Valentin loses his wife, home and career, only his loyal butler (James Cromwell) and dog (Uggie); Peppy finds her own success to be limited without the love of Valentin.  The film successfully replicates the the style and tone of an original silent film (no ambient sound and filmed in gorgeous black & white) and truly is a beautiful testament to the magic of film.  Director Michel Hazanavicius pays an enormous complement by celebrating the medium through modern tools and strongly reminding us of the power of cinema.  Extras include Q&As, bloopers and featurettes.  The Artist is a must own for any lover of film and deserves my highest possible recommendation.



Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows
Warner Home Video / Released June 12, 2012 on DVD, Blu-ray and Digital Download


With the exception of the solid chemistry between stars Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law, this tepid sequel is nothing more than a non-stop visual assault that trades Holmes' trademark subtlety for in your face action sequences and a nonsensical plot.  Continuing the unfunny inferred homosexuality between Holmes and Watson from the original film, director Guy Ritchie spends the majority of the film rehashing tired banter, a weak interpretation of nemesis Moriarty (Jared Harris, who I can't decide if he is miscast or if the role is miswritten), and an interpretation of the master detective as a glib ass.  Extras include apps and Maximum Movie Mode.  Ritchie's tired, formulaic and campy sequel is noisy, illogical and worse, boring


Project X
Warner Home Video / Released June 19, 2012 on DVD, Blu-ray and Digital Download


The characters are obnoxious and unlikeable, the plot is formulaic and the acting is amateurish at best, but Project X is funny.  Quite possibly the pinnacle of shock comedy, substituting outrageousness for humor, Project X is a found footage film focusing on a group of high school friends attempting to throw the party of all parties which results in an almost apocalyptic level of anarchy and mayhem.  It's Paranormal Activity minus the ghosts but plus plenty of drugs, alcohol, hot women and excess.  Extras include featurettes and an extended cut.  Project X certainly isn't for everyone; I actually walked out of a theatrical screening fifteen minutes in, but I'm glad I gave it a second chance on Blu-ray.  Like high school, it should be experienced once.  Recommended.


Alice: The Complete First Season
Warner Archive / Released July 12, 2012


There's a new girl in town and she's looking a bit like Linda Lavin circa 1974.  Inspired by Martin Scorsese's Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore, Alice the tv series focuses on single mother Alice Hyatt and son Tommy (Philip McKeon) who wind up in the middle of Arizona en route to Los Angeles.  Alice begins waitressing at Mel's Diner (Vic Tayback, the only crossover cast member from the film plays Mel) and working with waitresses Flo and Vera (Polly Holliday and Beth Howland).  I grew up watching the series and although I hadn't seen it in a few decades, revisiting the series on dvd was a very pleasant experience.  A solid sitcom, rich with Seventies nostalgia, and a great cast make Alice: The Complete First Season is must have for anyone who grew up with it.  Highly recommended.


21 Jump Street
Sony Pictures / Released June 26, 2012


If you had told me a year ago that I would be praising the work of Channing Tatum, I would guarantee I'd walk away without the benefit of even calling you a liar to your face.  But, nevertheless, 21 Jump Street marked the beginning of my respect of the very funny and talented Tatum.  Picking up on the premise of the television series, Skinny Jonah Hill and Tatum are unfriendly in high school but reconnect in the police academy, becoming best friends and partners.  Assigned to go undercover in high school, the duo find themselves thriving unexpectedly.  Extremely funny with solid action, 21 Jump Street is self aware of it's ridiculous premise, but shines thanks to the fantastic chemistry between Tatum and Hill.  Extras include commentary, gag reel, featurettes and more.  One of the funniest comedies of the year, 21 Jump Street is highly recommended.



Mean Streets
Warner Home Video / Released July 17, 2012


Martin Scorsese's Mean Streets is a seminal film in Seventies cinema, when films went from studio system driven releases to a generation of younger, more daring films.  Set in New York and starring Robert DeNiro and Harvey Keitel, Mean Streets is set in Little Italy and focuses on a group of would be gangsters who aren't nearly as powerful as they think they are.  With an amazing soundtrack, and Scorsese at his best and perhaps most underrated, Mean Streets features some raw performances by Keitel and DeNiro and an unrelenting approach to storytelling that must have been shocking in 1973.  Extras include commentary, featurette and trailer.  Mean Streets isn't Scorsese's best known films, but it is one of his best and a must see.  Recommended.


Outland
Warner Home Video / Released July 10, 2012 


A love letter to Westerns, but set in outer space, Peter Hyams' Outland is a tremendously fun movie with a terrific performance from Sean Connery and a fantastic cast including Peter Boyle, Frances Sternhagen, James B. Sikking,  Clarke Peters and John Ratzenberger.  With a healthy influence from Ridley Scott's Alien and Blade Runner of a future that's lived in, stained and pretty beat up, Outland is a blue-collar space film with Connery as a police marshal sent to a moon of Jupiter to investigate a drug selling conspiracy.  The film ends (as it should) with a High Noon style showdown.  Extras include commentary and a trailer.  Outland certainly won't go down as great science fiction, but it's extremely enteraining, and that's really what matters.  Recommended.



American Reunion
Universal / Released July 10, 2012


It's been almost a decade since we've seen the last theatrical American Pie film and using the theme of a high school opportunity, it's the first time since we've seen so many of the leads, supporting and tertiary cast members come back to reprise their roles.  For the most part, it's pretty standard stuff; people growing up, drifting apart and trying to capture what was.  For the most part, the cast is going through the motions, but once again Seann William Scott stands out, actually playing a character (he pretty much did an impression of his performance as Stifler in American Wedding) who wants to move forward but feels himself trapped in the past.  Extras include commentary, select video commentary, featurettes, deleted/alternate scenes and a gag reel.  American Reunion doesn't break any new ground, but like any high school reunion, it's always nice to check in on some familiar faces every decade or so.  Recommended.




Coma
Warner Home Video / Released July 10, 2012  


Michael Crichton's gift for storytelling wasn't just limited to writing.  As a filmmaker, Crichton directed several films and Coma is a creepy, unsettling thriller.  Crichton was a perfect choice to helm this adaptation of the Robin Cook novel.  A medical school graduate (Crichton also created the tv series, E.R.), he gives an authenticity to the story of a doctor (Geneviève Bujold) who discovers an unusual number of relatively healthy patients suffering from complications during basic operations and falling into comas. The patients are sent to an institute for further care, which lends itself to suspicions and an unexpected conspiracy.  Strong performances by Michael Douglas, Rip Torn, and the inimitable Richard Widmark anchor the film (look for brief cameos by a young Tom Selleck and Ed Harris) and Bujold takes on the hero role usually reserved at the time for a male actor.  Extras include the theatrical trailer.  In the years since Coma's release, medical thrillers have become a more prominent genre in pop culture, and this film still ranks among the very best.  Recommended.



Altered States
Warner Home Video / Released July 10, 2012 
 

Directed by Ken Russell and written by Paddy Chayefsky (who later took his name off the film), Altered States is an interesting and strange film about a scientist (William Hurt in his screen debut) who combines a hallucinogen with an isolation chamber which results in physical metamorphoses regressing on a genetic level.  This unique film has influenced a number of science fiction works (Fringe being the most prominent) and even though it is flawed and ends abruptly, it's a really interesting exercise, nevertheless.  The cast includes some strong performances from Blair Brown, Bob Balaban, Charles Haid, Thaao Penghlis and also Drew Barrymore (in her screen debut at age five).  Extras include only a trailer.  Altered States is a thrill ride that is a one of a kind experience and is definitely recommended.


The Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan: The Complete Series
Warner Archive / Released June 19, 2012

 
Combining Chinese American literary detective Charlie Chan with Seventies Hanna Barbera archetypes (rock n' roll group, amateur crime-solvers and a dog), you get a pretty good idea what The Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan is about.  The 16 episode series focuses on Chan's ten children, "the Chan Clan" who find themselves solving mysteries under the supervision of their father the super-detective.  Unfortunately the series suffers from limited animation and plots that feel recycled from virtually any and all of the Hanna Barbera detective series (Scooby-Doo, Goober and the Ghost Chasers, etc.).  Keye Luke, who played "Number One Son" in the Charlie Chan film series in the 1930s plays the role of Chan and Jodie Foster voices tomboy Anne.  The Amazing Chan and the Chan Clan is another nostalgia fueled journey for any fan from the Hanna Barbera vaults.  Mildly recommended.



The Boob Tube: BSG's RON MOORE Working On OUTLANDER,

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BATTLESTAR GALACTICA Creator RONALD D. MOORE Bringing OUTLANDER To TV


Ronald D. Moore is best known as the developer and executive producer of Battlestar Galactica, and now he's taking on the adaptation of Diana Gabaldon's epic series which starts with Outlander. The fantasy/romance/adventure books follow Claire as she is sent back to Scotland in 1743 and ends up marrying the Scottish warrior Jamie. Although she is married in the 1945 future where she started, she is torn between the two men. The potential series could last if all seven novels are adapted, there is currently no word on casting or who will direct the series being developed at Sony Pictures TV. The project is being aimed at pay cablers like HBO, Showtime, etc.

ISLAND PRACTICE Will Head To TV Screens
20th Century Fox TV is optioning Island Practice: Cobblestone Rash, Underground Tom, and Other Adventures of a Nantucket Doctor. The potential TV Series comes from the work of Pam Belluck who wrote the story of Tim Lepore, an "offbeat surgeon in Nantucket who serves as a jack-of-all-trades." The book was published just last month and the sales of the rights drew interest from multiple studios.


Netflix Adds SEBASTIAN ARCELUS To The Cast Of HOUSE OF CARDS
Sebastian Arcelus is moving from Broadway to the third screen now that he is joining the cast of Netflix's original show House of Cards. In the David Fincher prodced drama he will play the newspaper editor Lucas Goodwin opposite Kevin Spacey. Fincher will be directing the first two episodes of the series which has 26 episodes ordered. The political intrigue story follows the House of Representatives Majority Whip who believes he should be in the Oval Office. The cast includes Michael Gillm, Robin Wright, Corey Stoll, Sakina Jaffrey, Kate Mara and Wass Stevens.


DANIELE WATTS Joins The Cast of WEEDS
Daniele Watts has previously starred in Cold Case and Criminal Minds, but now she will head to Showtime for the final season of Weeds. In the drama she will play Angela Mullen, a "quirky, alluring, and mischievous love interest for Shane. She was first seen in the July 8th episode, but she will be seen in seven more episodes to come.


CEDRIC STEWART Moves To BANSHEE 
Alan Ball is starting work on his new drama Banshee, and that means casting. Cedric Stewart will be joining the show to play a pro MMC fighter who has his big fight scheduled to happen in the city.  The rest of the story follows Anthony Starr's character, a criminal who acts like the sherriff for the town he moves to. Expect to see the new Starz show in January 2013.


TY OLSSON Lands Recurring Role On SUPERNATURAL
BSG alum Ty Olsson will be seen multiple times on Supernatural now that he has picked up a recurring role. Olsson is set to play the role of Benny, "the one responsible for saving Dean from Purgatory." Previously he's played vampires, and some other supernatured beings. 


DEXTER Books SANTIAGO CABRERA For Guest Role
Dexter is looking for more people to add to the cast of the Miami show. Santiago Cabrera is one of the newbies, and he will play Ethan Price, "the author of a true crime book series about famous murders".

RYAN REYNOLDS Will Voice The Son Of God In FAMILY GUY Christmas Special
I'm only a bit confused now that we hear Ryan Reynolds will be God's Gift To Man. The character is said to be lie a precursor to Jesus and he'll have a cameo sort of role in the Christmas special. Execs say "his first son that didn't quite work out. The new season will kick off on September 30th.


LINDA HAMILTON Guest Stars On LOST GIRL
Syfy is adding more names to their projects. The latest being that Linda Hamilton will be starring and returning to TV with a badass role. She will play the role as a "tough, sexy, and ruthless assassin.


READ 'THE LAST POLICEMAN' By Ben H. Williams...It May Be the Last Thing You'll Ever Do

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With the 2012 hysteria starting to heat up you may be asking yourself why you would want to read a book about the end of the world. But unlike all the doomsday crap being published right now The Last Policeman deals more with our humanity than about being crushed to death by a huge asteroid.

So here's the premise: The world has six months left to survive before the aforementioned asteroid comes to wipe us out and let's just say that we humans do what we do best, freak the fuck out.

Seeing that we are no longer able to function as rational human beings, the laws that once governed a functioning society no longer apply, and what was once considered misdemeanors are now given sentences that a serial killer would expect.

During this turmoil of the inevitable people who are not willing to wait for death start killing themselves and leaving their corpses all over the place, like fast-food restaurants, which is where Police Officer Hank Palace finds himself when he comes to realize that this one particular body is not like all the others.

And there begins the tale of a man searching for truth at the end of the world amid a very "Who the fuck cares" mentality.

So, what would you do? Would you forget about why a man was murdered and spend your remaining days bonding with friends and family, or would you do what you were trained to do and solve the case?


Personally I think you should read this book and spend your final possible hours engrossed in an excellent story .


Cine-Geek Nuggets: Disney Starts On FINDING NEMO Sequel, LINCOLN Has A Release Date, Plus New Additions To CATCHING FIRE, PARANOIA, OVERDRIVE, LAST VEGAS, And More

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ANDREW STANTON Gets A Second Chance At Disney With FINDING NEMO Sequel



Nemo's swimming out to sea! Again. Yes, that's right Disney has made the first step in the sequel to Finding Nemo and that means bringing on director Andrew Stanton who is returning to animation following the tepid response to John Carter. The two time Oscar winner (Wall-E and the first Finding Nemo) has another live action film in development with the studio, but both the Nemo sequel and the 3D rerelease are likely to make that a reality.


AMANDA PLUMMER Is CATCHING FIRE
In the follow up to The Hunger Games, Amanda Plummer will play a character known as Wiress. Catching Fire already has some big names announced recently like Seymour Hoffman, and there are still more to come. New director Francis Lawrence will start shooting in the fall with a planned release of November 22, 2013. The character is a former tribute who earns Katniss' trust and becomes a strong ally who becomes known as Nuts. The new script from Simon Beaufoy, who wrote Slumdog Millionaire, takes place in a very special edition of the Hunger Games which invites tributes that were previous winners of the game. It's like a best of version that happens every quarter century.


KRISTEN BELL Will Star In THE LIFEGUARD
Liz W. Garcia's The Lifeguard has added Kristen Bell to the cast which already stars Mamie Gummer, Martin Starr, Alex Shaffer, Joshua Harto and Amy Madigan. Currently starring in Showtime's House Of Lies, the actor will play a reporter who leaves her NYC life to go home and get her high school job as a lifeguard. Returning to her old life may have some consequences when she starts a "dangerous relationship with a 16-year-old delinquent.


EMILIA CLARKE And SAM CLAFLIN Go Into OVERDRIVE With KARL URBAN 
Overdrive is a new film that stars Karl Urban as one of two brothers who go to the South of France to steal cars and rule the black market. Things don't go quite according to plan. Now Emilia Clarke from Game of Thrones, and Sam Claflin from Snow White and the Huntsman have joined the cast of the film being directed by Transit helmer Antonio Negret The new roles for the recently added stars are not known yet.


PARANOIA Adds TWILIGHT Alum ANGELA SARAFYAN To Cast 
Angela Sarafyan, best known for her role in The Twilight Saga Breaking Dawn Part Two, is joining the cast of Paranoia as a character names Alison who teams up with Liam Hemsworth character to spy on a rival company that is blackmailing Hemsworth's Chris. The film is based on a novel by Joseph Finder and will be directed by Robert Luketic. The rest of the cast includes Gary Oldman, Harrison Ford, Julian McMahon, Amber Heard, and the previously mentioned Hemsworth.




KEVIN KLINE Heads To LAST VEGAS
Kevin Kline has signed on to the comedy Last Vegas from director Jon Turteltaub. The film also stars Christopher Walken, Robert De Niro, Michael Douglas, and Morgan Freeman. The story follows four semi-retired baby boomers as they go on a trip to Vegas for a bachelor party for the last one of them to get married.


ROBIN WILLIAMS Is THE ANGRIEST MAN IN BROOKLYN,  Eisenhower in THE BUTLER

Robin Williams hasn't been in any movies recently, but now he's picked up two big roles. First up he will portray president Dwight D. Eisenhower in Lee Daniels The Butler. Then he will star as the title character in The Angriest Man in Brooklyn from Phil Alden Robinson. The Butler tells the true story of Eugene Allen, a servant at the White House who worked for eight different presidents. The Angriest Man sees Williams as a patient in a hospital who is told that only has 90 minutes to live. Although the prognosis is wrong, he then attempts to right all his wrongs.


JESSICA BIEL Drops Out Of THE WOLVERINE
The search begins again to find a new Viper for The Wolverine. Jessica Biel has dropped out of the project with sources only saying that she got cold feet. The studio will now start looking for a new villain to star opposite Hugh Jackman.
 

GWYNETH PALTROW Will Star In BLOOD, BONES, AND BUTTER

The indie film Blood, Bones & Butter is looking at Gwyneth Paltrow for the lead role in the foodie flick based on Gabrielle Hamilton's 2011 memoir of the same name. Hamilton is the owner and chef of New York's Prune restaurant and the book tells her story as she went through her unconventional rise to becoming a chef. 


AMY ADAMS Signs On For The Project Formally Known As AMERICAN BULLSHIT

American Bullshit may have a new title soon, but it also has a new actor in the David O. Russell drama. Amy Adams will be joining the cast of the true story based on the life of con-artist Mel Weinberg who worked alongside the FBI to uncover a giant corruption case.   The cast includes Jeremy Renner, who recently replaced Christian Bale(who dropped out) and Bradley Cooper


SPIELBERG'S LINCOLN Finally Has A Release Date
Steven Spielberg has been working on Lincoln for a while now, and today we have a release date from Disney and Dreamworks. Are you ready? It's November 9th, 2012. The biopic will tell the real story of the 16th president and his struggle to unite a divided country during the Civil War.


The Creators Of SMALLVILLE Are Writing THE MACHINE For VIN DIESEL
Alfred Gough and Miles Millar are best known for creating the Superman TV show Smallville, but now they are in the final negotiations to write The Machine. The action comedy has been in the works for a few years with the original script coming from Thomas Lennon and Robert Ben Garant. The story follows a humanoid created by the Pentagon to be the ultimate weapon. The robot is buried and then redisovered 20 years later by a kid who takes care of him.


7-11 IS SERVING...Oh Sweet Jeebus...Mashed Potatoes...From A Slurpee Machine

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Look, I get that after binge drinking there are some questionable things that a person wants to suck down as a chaser, but I have never, ever, thought to myself "You know what sounds good? A MASHED POTATO SLURPEE".

But lo and behold, 7-11 decided to do just that.

Why there's even a button for chicken gravy to make the whole disgusting glob go down your throat faster.

Whatever.

Listen, the only thing sliding down my gullet at 3 in the morning at a 7-11 is my pride as I buy a plastic bowl of nachos that will give me diarrhea.

Sheesh why couldn't they have made a cake Slurpee?

Source: Incredible Things


A Batfan Rises, One More Time

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Hello, nerds.

We all know what's happening this Friday.  

On that day, he rises again. 

Batman.  

The Dark Knight Rises.

Oh, I can't wait. The end is here.

Look, I couldn't wait for this movie after the last reel of The Dark Knight finished running at the theater. And all this for a bunch of movies that decided to look comic-booky but punch like some other creature. 


Christopher Nolan and company decided to take the superhero action film and stretch it to the extremes, painting his Batman world in post-9/11 shades as a special-forces vigilante took on hyper-terrorists. One terrorist, Ra's al Ghul, spoke of punishing a wicked society to save humanity. Another, The Joker, sought to incite chaos and watch the veneer of civil society fall away into death and destruction.

And here I was, just wanting to see Batman fly around and punch stuff.

When it comes to all my nerd obsessions, Batman rules the list.

Why?

Let's break it down.


The Costume


Who doesn't like the costume? It's one of the best ever designed, even though its color scheme isn't anything imaginative at either all-black, blue-and-gray, or black-and-gray. (For that reason, Spider-Man's costume likely is the best superhero costume design ever.) The cape and cowl just looks way too cool. You can outfit the cowl with surveillance tech and night-vision lenses, and the cape with steel tips in the edges.

It's also one of the few supersuits that says what the guy is without you knowing. Does he really need that bat-symbol on his chest when you see a dude in bat ears and wings flying at you?


The Car


When you really think about it, the Batmobile is a lame concept. A superhero, without superpowers, uses a car to get around? The more you think about it, especially given our experiences as drivers, the worse it gets. They never show Batman stuck in traffic, halted at stoplights on every corner, or vacuuming out the seats. But we don't care, because we love cars. And this thing is a super-car! Haven't you ever wanted to drive a three-ton tank shaped like a sports car and packing a jet engine? I know I have, and I barely like cars.


The Gadgets


He had them before James Bond. Though I think Batarangs are vastly impractical. Frank Miller had a much better idea with the bat-shaped throwing stars. But I will take instant-cloud smokebombs and a grapnel gun. Those really would come in handy in an urban environment. Just go swinging from building to building. Though I always wondered if Gotham City was littered with grapnel lines and guns everywhere, and building owners pissed as their edifices all chipped up by those stone-piercing hooks. But who cares? Batman is a detective and a scientist, and makes equipment for everything!

The 1960s TV Show


What a fun, Technicolor-pop, Playboy-infused world this show inhabited. Swinging music, campy gimmicks, scenery-chewing performances, giant set pieces. The Batusi, people! And without this show, I would have found out about Eartha Kitt much, much later, and that would have been a crime.

Batman stuff has a lot of doom and gloom, and it's nice when you just see the guy enjoy his work. I think he should enjoy being Batman. The comics do this sometimes, but usually they're quite serious. The Nolan films need more of that; the Alfred and Lucius characters are the conduit. Burton's films had dark looks and themes, but he always slid in moments of oddball humor.

Or, among my favorite moments ever in Batman stuff, was in the Batman Beyond movie when Terry McGuinness asks Bruce if they should call the cops to stop The Joker, and Bruce replies with a small smirk, “Not their game.”



The Force of Will

Above all things, Batman is about will. About determination and perseverance to overcome your problems and forge your own path. Batman in the comics typically is depicted as the most dangerous superhero. It's not because of physical strength or threat, but because he has the intellect and the will to work hard enough to find a way to bring you down.


He's the man with the plan. He finds the answers. He will stop you. I always considered intelligence to be the combination of critical thinking and will, to find answers to everything you can, and to act in a way that brings about the maximum result. Batman is all about the maximum, in all things, at all times. It's extreme, but I respect it. As Ra's al Ghul said in Batman Begins, “The training is nothing. The will is everything. The will to act.”




To me, part of the Batman vow is that after his parents are murdered, Bruce Wayne never will let anything be done to him again. He holds his own agency, always.


Which part of why Nolan's trilogy works. He keeps finding ways to steal Batman's agency away from him, and then watch him reclaim it. The Dark Knight introduced the idea that Batman is exactly the kind of hero Gotham deserves, and that Gotham will be the end of him, but at least Batman can go down on his terms, swinging.


The Dark Knight Rises, I imagine, will close the circle, whether Bruce Wayne lives or dies.



Whatever the outcome, it'll be done in Nolan's style: technically proficient, maddeningly overcomplicated, extravagant in plotting and detail. 

Accomplished tableaux and dodgy action camerawork, sleek in some spots and brutish in others. 

But likely never dull.


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