Develop Super Powers! Fight Crime! Save The World!

June 30, 2014, 5:00 am

≫ Next: TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION (review)

≪ Previous: What The Hell is Going On Here?

For anyone who’s seen the movies Kick Ass and Kick-Ass 2 (and if you haven’t, what have you been doing for the last 4 years?) the idea that a mere mortal can turn themselves into a real life superhero is nothing new, in movies at least.

The two films see averages Joes and Josephines inspired to fight crime by dressing up in superhero outfits and masks just like the legendary comic book heroes of DC and Marvel. But, unlike Superman, Spider-Man, Wonder Woman or Catwoman, the heroes in Kick-Ass are just normal everyday folk without any superpowers whatsoever. All they have is a belief in themselves and a desire to do good.

And let’s face it, who hasn’t dreamt of being an action hero and saving the day, even if just for a fleeting moment?

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TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION (review)

June 30, 2014, 6:00 am

≫ Next: THIRD PERSON (review)

≪ Previous: Develop Super Powers! Fight Crime! Save The World!

Review by Elizabeth Robbins

Produced by Don Murphy, Tom DeSanto,

Lorenzo di Bonaventura, Ian Bryce

Written by Ehren Kruger

Based on Transformers by Hasbro

Directed by Michael Bay

Starring Mark Wahlberg, Stanley Tucci,

Kelsey Grammer, Nicola Peltz, Jack Reynor,

Sophia Myles, Li Bingbing, Titus Welliver,

T. J. Miller, Melanie Specht, Victoria Summer,

Peter Cullen, Frank Welker

The Transformers has a special place in my heart. I watched the cartoon as a kid.

My first serious date with my now husband was viewing Transformers: The Movie.

I was pretty psyched when Michael Bay first started making the Transformers films.

Explosions + robots has to = good, right?

Oh, Michael Bay, what have you done?

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THIRD PERSON (review)

June 30, 2014, 7:00 am

≫ Next: GAMER SNACKS: Mountain Dew & Doritos Cupcakes...Bringing A Stereotype Together In A Delicious Way

≪ Previous: TRANSFORMERS: AGE OF EXTINCTION (review)

Review by Benn Robbins

Produced by Paul Breuls,

Paul Haggis, Michael Nozik

Written and Directed by Paul Haggis

Starring Liam Neeson, Mila Kunis,

Adrien Brody, Olivia Wilde, James Franco,

Moran Atias, Maria Bello, Kim Basinger

Third Person is a hot mess.

When this film ended I couldn't decide whether or not I had just seen the greatest, most important film of all time, or a steaming pile of garbage.

Thankfully, my brain didn't betray me and realized it was a steaming pile of garbage.

This "thought provoking," film really makes you wonder:

a) How does Paul Haggis have, not one, but TWO Oscars?

b) Who keeps giving this hack money?

I get it, Haggis basically won the best picture and writing award for Crash, because Hollywood.
Hollywood watched that film and was like, "Yeah man, that is TOTALLY US. HE gets it."

So good for you Paul Haggis.

You beat the system.

That is more than I can say for myself and countless others.

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GAMER SNACKS: Mountain Dew & Doritos Cupcakes...Bringing A Stereotype Together In A Delicious Way

June 30, 2014, 8:00 am

≫ Next: Boston! Wanna See DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES Early?

≪ Previous: THIRD PERSON (review)

If you were watching the E3 game announcements this year with a particular gamer excitement, then I wish you no better way to celebrate the release date of your most anticipated 2014-2015 video game than by baking up a batch of Mountain Dew and Doritos cupcakes.

I'm sure that they taste better than they sound...they have to.

With some help from Rosanna Pansino of Nerdy Nummies (and her easy-going step-by-step video instructions) you can whip up a dessert of choice for gamers while still sticking to the stereotype that we all know and love.

Baking really is awesome isn't it.

Watch the video after the break and get your dessert on.

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Boston! Wanna See DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES Early?

June 30, 2014, 9:00 am

≫ Next: Hey, Who Wants To Jump In A Giant Boobie Bounce House? The Queue Starts After Me

≪ Previous: GAMER SNACKS: Mountain Dew & Doritos Cupcakes...Bringing A Stereotype Together In A Delicious Way

A growing nation of genetically evolved apes led by Caesar is threatened by a band of human survivors of the devastating virus unleashed a decade earlier. They reach a fragile peace, but it proves short-lived, as both sides are brought to the brink of a war that will determine who will emerge as Earth's dominant species.

For your chance to attend the advanced screening of DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES on Tuesday, July 8th at 7pm at the Regal Fenway, click HERE and enter the code FOGY7E9.

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Hey, Who Wants To Jump In A Giant Boobie Bounce House? The Queue Starts After Me

June 30, 2014, 10:53 am

≫ Next: Read To Your Children, But Don't Get Caught Reading These Books, Plus NO DRONES & More!

≪ Previous: Boston! Wanna See DAWN OF THE PLANET OF THE APES Early?

If you are looking for an interesting road trip this summer for you and your family of older, yet easily embarrassed children, then perhaps you should head into NYC for an interesting vacay at the Museum of Sex and their newest interactive installation, FUNLAND: Pleasures and Perils of the Erotic Fairground, where the entire family can jump around together in a giant boobie bouncy house:

Which should lead to many, many years of therapy.

Of course, if jumping up and down on boobs isn't your thing, there's also a Tunnel of Love that doubles as a woman's G-spot (complete with symphonic moaning), a Foreplay Derby and a climbing wall affectionately called Grope Mountain which contains various appendages to grasp onto (plus much more).

Personally, I can't think of a better way to wound your ungrateful children into submission then by taking them into a museum filled with sex-centric exhibits and reading various description plaques out loud until they promise to behave...it'll not only bring you closer together as a family, but teach your teenagers to not fuck with you...ever.

A win-win if you ask me.

If you'd like to see what it would be like to play in an inflatable house of boobs, there's a video after the break...and yes, it is as fun as you think it is.

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Read To Your Children, But Don't Get Caught Reading These Books, Plus NO DRONES & More!

June 30, 2014, 11:00 am

≫ Next: MUSIC VIDEO MONDAY: As The World Falls Down (From Labyrinth)- David Bowie

≪ Previous: Hey, Who Wants To Jump In A Giant Boobie Bounce House? The Queue Starts After Me

A Message From a Bookseller-Native American

A Native American who also happens to be a bookseller has somethings to say about Amazon and supporting you local independents.

13 Things an Adult Should be Embarrassed to Read

You probably know a number of these, some might even be under the "won't be caught dead . . ." category, just make sure you learn them all.

Read Aloud to Your Children

A pediatrics group recommends reading to your children from birth to help stimulate their minds and develop language.

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MUSIC VIDEO MONDAY: As The World Falls Down (From Labyrinth)- David Bowie

June 30, 2014, 12:00 pm

≫ Next: WILLOW CREEK (review)

≪ Previous: Read To Your Children, But Don't Get Caught Reading These Books, Plus NO DRONES & More!

I have been without internet access for almost five days now and, if you ever wondered if you could suffer from the DTs simply by not being able to watch Netflix, the answers is unequivocally yes...yes you can.

To counteract the horror that this situation has brought about (and because my husband and I gave up cable and regular TV for Netflix and Hulu Plus and have nothing to watch) I spent most of those long, long days dipping into my supply of Jim Henson movies hoping for some sort of reprieve from the nervous shakes.

And while I am happy to say that the glorious 'net is back online and I can go back to binge watching shows I didn't enjoy when they were on the TV (but due to this addiction am powerless against now), I was a bit disturbed by just how creepy (but awesome) the movie Labyrinth is.

Somehow, back when the movie came out when I was thirteen, I wasn't as conscious of all the weirdly inappropriate eye fucks that the Goblin King (David Bowie) gave Sarah (Jennifer Connelly) throughout the film, nor do I remember how enchantingly tight his pants were.

Now, I don't know if anyone has seen the movie as an adult recently, but, during the famous ball scene when Sarah is all decked out in princess-wear and is tripping the light fantastic with a bunch of Venetian mask-wearers, you might feel that it is slightly reminiscent of a more recent movie and you would be right, because it appears that Stanley Kubrick ripped off that particular vignette for Eyes Wide Shut...only he added more fucking.

Yeah, it was pretty weird (yet oddly erotic).

And, to share that bit of imagery with you, after the break is David Bowie's As the World Falls Down complete with the epic Tween ball that, had Jim Henson been into kiddie porn, would have ended a lot differently for Sarah.

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WILLOW CREEK (review)

June 30, 2014, 1:00 pm

≫ Next: Animation Geek: 'Talking'...It's About, Well...Talking

≪ Previous: MUSIC VIDEO MONDAY: As The World Falls Down (From Labyrinth)- David Bowie

Review by Dean Galanis

Produced by Aimee Pierson

Written and Directed by Bobcat Goldthwait

Starring Alexie Gilmore, Bryce Johnson

Bobcat Goldthwait continues to impress as a filmmaker after the darkly funny World's Greatest Dad and God Bless America with a straight-faced, found-footage horror flick (albeit one with a great deal of humor).

Jim (Bryce Johnson), a lifelong Bigfoot enthusiast, has decided to make a pilgrimage to Willow Creek, the location where, in 1967, the infamous footage of the famed beast was captured.

Jim has, of course, decided to document his trip on video, and has coerced his girlfriend (and adamant non-believer) Kelly (Alexie Gilmore) into joining him.

Along the way, the couple stops at the Bigfoot Motel, gnoshes on some Bigfoot Burgers, and interviews a handful of locals who have connections to Sasquatch, both tenuous and strong.

The two bicker playfully and debate the big guy’s existence on their travels.

This is all slow-burn preamble to their trek to the wilderness location where the footage was filmed, where they intend to camp out and seek evidence of the creature’s existence.

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Animation Geek: 'Talking'...It's About, Well...Talking

June 30, 2014, 2:00 pm

≫ Next: Win THE WITCHES OF EAST END: The Complete First Season DVD!

≪ Previous: WILLOW CREEK (review)

In David Besnier's short animation Talking, lots of stuff gets discussed, analyzed and spoken about with mostly hilarious results (including an appearance by GoT's Hodor). But I'm guessing it's not so much the act of talking that's the point of this short film so much as it is in conveying the small snippets of conversation that gets forgotten by day's end.

Watch and enjoy after the break.

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Win THE WITCHES OF EAST END: The Complete First Season DVD!

June 30, 2014, 3:00 pm

≫ Next: SHARK WEEK Kicks Off Sun. Aug. 10th and The Discovery Channel Wants You To Remember It Via This Epic Ad

≪ Previous: Animation Geek: 'Talking'...It's About, Well...Talking

“Witches of East End” stars Emmy award-winning Julia Ormond (Temple Grandin) as Joanna Beauchamp, an ageless mother trying to keep a supernatural secret from her daughters, Freya (Jenna Dewan-Tatum; Step Up) and Ingrid (Rachel Boston; (500) Days of Summer) so they can lead a normal life. But when Joanna’s estranged sister (Mädchen Amick; “Twin Peaks”) arrives to warn her of an evil entity out to destroy them all, Joanna is forced to reveal the truth about her family’s magical legacy. Co-starring Virginia Madsen (Sideways),  Eric Winter (“Days of Our Lives”) and Daniel DiTomasso (“Beauty and the Beast”), this powerful and enchanting drama series will cast its spell on you!

With the second season beginning on July 6th on Lifetime, now is the prefect time to binge watch the first season! And we're giving away a copy on DVD to help you do it!

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SHARK WEEK Kicks Off Sun. Aug. 10th and The Discovery Channel Wants You To Remember It Via This Epic Ad

June 30, 2014, 4:00 pm

≫ Next: If It Bleeds We Should Watch It: PREDATOR on a Pedestal

≪ Previous: Win THE WITCHES OF EAST END: The Complete First Season DVD!

The way most of the world reacts during the World Cup is the same way I and millions of nerdy-ass people do during Shark Week every year...with wild abandon and a total disregard for people's safety.

And this year The Discovery Channel not only wants you to mark your calendars on this, the holiest of science geeks' week, they also want you to understand just how fucking epic this event really is.

Yeah, it's going to feel just like that...if you're celebrating it right.

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If It Bleeds We Should Watch It: PREDATOR on a Pedestal

June 30, 2014, 5:48 pm

≫ Next: WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE'S THE JEDI DOTH RETURN Is Out Today And Here's A Book Trailer To Entice You

≪ Previous: SHARK WEEK Kicks Off Sun. Aug. 10th and The Discovery Channel Wants You To Remember It Via This Epic Ad

Welcome to the fourteenth installment of Flashback to the Present. I’ll be your contributing writer, Charles Knauf.

In honor of the upcoming 4th of July holiday, I feel as if I should focus on one of the greatest exports these beautiful United States of America offers: testosterone-driven action movies.

The problem is; there are so many to choose from.

Normally, I would be about the slightly obscure.

However, it would be a disservice to this powerhouse of a nation if I simply reviewed something like Lone Wolf McQuade, Sudden Impact, or Hard Target. Although these films are incredible in their own right, this week’s FTTP needs something more…

It was then I decided to go main stream. Lethal Weapon, Die Hard and First Blood could have all been amazing choices to highlight the baby-punching supremacy of the American Action movie.

However, I consider these films almost too high-brow for what I want to showcase here today.

I needed something that transcends story and explosions into a perfect amalgamation of red meat, nuclear bombs, monster trucks, massive bald eagles, Hulkamania, bikinis and beer.

So like the beginning of any Flint film, where Lee J. Cobb needs to choose the perfect man from dozens of applicants, I had to find one finalist.

1987’s Predator – aka “the manliest movie ever, period, end of statement.”

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WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE'S THE JEDI DOTH RETURN Is Out Today And Here's A Book Trailer To Entice You

July 1, 2014, 7:00 am

≫ Next: This Video WILL BLOW YOUR FREAKING MIND & Be The Best Part Of Your Day

≪ Previous: If It Bleeds We Should Watch It: PREDATOR on a Pedestal

If you haven't already been devouring Ian Doescher's Shakespearean homage to Star Wars then today is a good day to start considering the the last in the trilogy has been released (William Shakespeare's The Jedi Doth Return).

Of course, I get that some people will reject reading the books outright simply because the thought of chewing on Shakespearean dialog makes them nauseous, but I hope they try it, because as epic as the original Star Wars trilogy is, there is something beautiful about this pairing that makes life worth living...think of it as the Brangelina of the literary/sci-fi genre (and read about why I believe this series should be mandatory in high school English classes HERE).

After the break is one of Quirk's brilliant book trailers that will no doubt woo you into handing them your wallet...they're very good at doing that sort of thing.

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This Video WILL BLOW YOUR FREAKING MIND & Be The Best Part Of Your Day

July 1, 2014, 9:00 am

≫ Next: Designer Sends Out Resume on a 4-Pack of Home-Brewed Ale & Lands Job...Just Think Of What A Plate of Hash Brownies Would Do

≪ Previous: WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE'S THE JEDI DOTH RETURN Is Out Today And Here's A Book Trailer To Entice You

Since I spend a crazy amount of time on the web for work I am well aware of the ebb and flow of trends that tend to turn up on the internet before Yahoo's newsfeed does (thank god, or I'd be out of a job), but one of the most annoying little fads that seems to be sticking around longer than necessary is click-baiting, which is basically a more mouth-friendly way of describing annoying headlines written specifically so you are emotionally-raped into clicking on them only to realize that the content has nothing to do with the headline. It's a tactic that websites use in order to boost views, which in turn helps that website get advertising money (something that we here at FOG don't do because we have yet to learn how to write compelling headlines).

And believe me, if you are on Facebook, you are well-aware of these hyper-excitable click-baits.

If you'd like to see what this phenomenon is all about, then watch the video after the break...It will totally blow your mind, change your life and be the best part of your day.

You know, if we actually generate some income off of this post, we might finally be able to afford a better selection of K-cups in the break room.

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Designer Sends Out Resume on a 4-Pack of Home-Brewed Ale & Lands Job...Just Think Of What A Plate of Hash Brownies Would Do

July 1, 2014, 11:00 am

≫ Next: ANIMATION GEEK: Rollin' Safari...Fat Animals Being Adorable

≪ Previous: This Video WILL BLOW YOUR FREAKING MIND & Be The Best Part Of Your Day

Like most recent graduates from a college or university, design student Brennan Gleason was looking for a job that might give him a reasonable salary and a few days off every now and again (which, sadly, is what all job-seekers are searching for nowadays). But unlike most people pounding the pavement, Gleason decided to send out his resume by packaging it on a 4-pack of his home-brewed blonde ale and calling it Resum-Ale (it also comes with a QR code on the bottle cap which leads to his full resume).

And yes, Gleason did ultimately get a job thanks to his resume (at Techtone, a digital brand marketing agency whose HR dept. obviously liked beer).

But while we may all be impressed with Gleason's job-search savvy, it might be best to remember that he was in the design field and oddball resumes aren't completely out of the norm, they kind of have to be in order to get noticed. But sending in a beer-themed resume to say, an accounting office or for a teaching position, will probably keep you out on the street longer than you like. ..Although, I don't see why it wouldn't work for a government position.

Yeah, the IRS would probably love a 4-pack resume.

Source: PSFK

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ANIMATION GEEK: Rollin' Safari...Fat Animals Being Adorable

July 1, 2014, 1:00 pm

≫ Next: The Return of Danger Rooms, Me, and Chris Claremont to a Monthly X-Title

≪ Previous: Designer Sends Out Resume on a 4-Pack of Home-Brewed Ale & Lands Job...Just Think Of What A Plate of Hash Brownies Would Do

This particular animated short has been out and about on the web for well over a year and while loads of people have seen it already, it's just one of those comforting things that should be seen over and over again (think of it like a multivitamin, if you see it everyday, it helps to keep the suckiness away).

And while I have probably helped keep its view count high all by myself ( I probably watch it two or three times a day on YouTube) I think it's high time I stop hoarding Rollin' Safari and start sharing it with the world.

Now, before watching the video (which is after the break) you might want to prepare yourself, adorableness like this can occasionally be more than one can bear and it is completely possible your brain might melt.

Read more »

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The Return of Danger Rooms, Me, and Chris Claremont to a Monthly X-Title

July 1, 2014, 3:18 pm

≫ Next: PREMATURE (review)

≪ Previous: ANIMATION GEEK: Rollin' Safari...Fat Animals Being Adorable

Hi, I’m Charles J. Baserap. You might remember me from such previous columns as Swords, Guns, and Chimichangas and Catching a Falling (Shatter)Star, and after a six month hiatus taken to welcome my son, Lex, into the world, your favorite resident mutant x-pert is back at FOG! with even more x-travagant pieces of X-Men x-cellence you’ve come to x-pect. And, yes, every one of those horrific puns killed a piece of my soul, and perhaps yours, but, hey, that’s just how we roll here.

It’s been a long six months and there’s been a myriad of developments with Marvel’s favorite mutants, not the least of which has been the official return of legendary scribe x-traordinaire (last one, I swear!) Chris Claremont to a monthly X-Book, this time with a Nightcrawler ongoing.

That’s right—Bamf!

Not long before I went on my mental walkabout, I previewed Jason Aaron’s Amazing X-Men series, in which everyone’s favorite fuzzy blue elf was returning from the great beyond, where he’d resided since getting a cybernetic arm to the chest courtesy of Bastion during Second Coming.

In the aptly named Quest for Nightcrawler arc in Amazing X-Men #1-5, we caught up with the deceased hero as he fought to thwart the plans of his father, the demonic Azazel, who was storming Heaven with a pirate ship full on minions.

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PREMATURE (review)

July 1, 2014, 5:00 pm

≫ Next: Geek Spasm: Good Guys Wear Red White & Blue

≪ Previous: The Return of Danger Rooms, Me, and Chris Claremont to a Monthly X-Title

Review by Todd Sokolove

Ready for sloppy seconds just a month after Edge of Tomorrow, Premature is yet another movie set in the Groundhog Day time loop. Coming to theaters Friday, it has been early-released on VOD and iTunes for your viewing pleasure.

This time around, the virginal doldrums of mid-to-post puberty serve as the backdrop, while the plot's reset device is, in fact, the unfortunate hair-trigger that’s par for one’s sexual course.

Here, the lead character is able to happy-ending his day, and hit reset my literally taking matters into his own hand.

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Geek Spasm: Good Guys Wear Red White & Blue

July 1, 2014, 7:00 pm

≫ Next: The SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS Theme Song Slowed Down 800%...Nothing Will Ever Feel Right Again

≪ Previous: PREMATURE (review)

Written by Steve Segal

Independence Day is upon us once more, so as we prepare to kick back with a six pack and watch some fireworks, let’s take a moment to celebrate the guys (and gals) whose wardrobe style is based on the Star Spangled Banner.

Rocky/Rocky III/Rocky IV (1976/1982/1985)

The original Rocky was released in 1976 as the nation celebrated its Bicentennial, and it’s with a none-too-subtle touch of national pride and self-promotional panache that Rocky’s opponent Apollo Creed (Carl Weathers) sports a set of American flag boxer shorts for their climactic bout. The star-spangled shorts reappear again in Rocky III when nemesis-turned-trainer Creed loans them to Rocky as a good luck charm to clobber Clubber Lang (Mr. T).

Hopefully Rock remembered to launder them before he returned them. He dons the famous trunks once again for the U.S.A. vs Russia showdown in Rocky IV, a movie so wrapped up in its own jingoism Sylvester Stallone is literally draped by Old Glory during the finale—an image that was turned into the film’s iconic theatrical poster.

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