Once a year in Baltimore, reality takes a break and madness descends downtown at the Convention Center and, surprisingly—especially this year—it’s not due to one of the political parties.
Nope, I’m talking about the Baltimore Comic Convention, that place of wonders where comic fans can come as they are, which usually means dressed in the costumes of their favorite heroes and villains, and their most beloved characters from page and screen, while unsuspecting tourists and city residents look upon them with confusion, sometimes even fear because, let’s be honest, seeing a bunch of overweight guys traipsing down West Pratt Street dressed as the Justice League hardly instills feelings of safety.
It’s a glorious time of the year and once again I made the forty minute drive—and spent almost as long looking for parking—to be among the creators and creative, to join my nerdy and geeky brethren for hours of mirth and merriment along with my patient and understanding wife and our hyperactive and over stimulated daughter.
Now that’s a family outing.
Nope, I’m talking about the Baltimore Comic Convention, that place of wonders where comic fans can come as they are, which usually means dressed in the costumes of their favorite heroes and villains, and their most beloved characters from page and screen, while unsuspecting tourists and city residents look upon them with confusion, sometimes even fear because, let’s be honest, seeing a bunch of overweight guys traipsing down West Pratt Street dressed as the Justice League hardly instills feelings of safety.
It’s a glorious time of the year and once again I made the forty minute drive—and spent almost as long looking for parking—to be among the creators and creative, to join my nerdy and geeky brethren for hours of mirth and merriment along with my patient and understanding wife and our hyperactive and over stimulated daughter.
Now that’s a family outing.
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| In a world where superheroes and supervillains can get along, there’s gotta be some hope for the rest of us… |
Last year was my first trip up to Baltimore and it was a bit haphazard. I didn’t know what to expect, how things were laid out, or how much like a Middle Eastern bazaar it was with people haggling over comics and boys. And, I’m pretty sure at one point, a first born. Oh well.
This year? This year I was like the goddamned Batman.
And that meant I had a plan.
The first step in the plan was getting into character.
Last time out, I played it safe. I have the sewing and technical skills of a toddler, at best, so making a real costume was out of the question. Seriously, some of these people make costumes that had to have cost a small fortune and involved either countless hours taking various clothing courses or a basement converted to a temporary sweatshop. I’m totally hoping for the former.
Knowing my limitations, I simply shaved my head, put on a purple shirt and one black glove and became Lex Luthor because, let’s face it, if I was going as anyone, it was going to be a criminal genius.
This year? This year I was like the goddamned Batman.
And that meant I had a plan.
The first step in the plan was getting into character.
Last time out, I played it safe. I have the sewing and technical skills of a toddler, at best, so making a real costume was out of the question. Seriously, some of these people make costumes that had to have cost a small fortune and involved either countless hours taking various clothing courses or a basement converted to a temporary sweatshop. I’m totally hoping for the former.
Knowing my limitations, I simply shaved my head, put on a purple shirt and one black glove and became Lex Luthor because, let’s face it, if I was going as anyone, it was going to be a criminal genius.
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| I inexplicably had to urge to swindle some land… |
But this year, I wanted to do something a little bit more, but obviously not too much more because, again, I’m a total moron when it comes to costume making. Going down the villainous path once more—and, really, that’s totally got to say something about me, right?—I chose Ra’s al Ghul, adding immortality to the criminal genius motif.
This involved going to a salon for the first time in my life, which was something I was a bit unprepared for. If you’re going to charge me $45 to do my hair, I damn well better need a cigarette afterwards. But, alas, the price of being a comic fan! It’s all right, I just added it to the cost of my 80+ comic book pull list for the month that feeds the addiction.
Putting the rest of the costume together was fairly simple, though I didn’t do the cape because the cost would have been inane. Still, for a day, I got to be Ra’s and I was joined by Melony and Anastasia as Robin and Batgirl.
Someone had suggested that Melony be Talia but even in a fictional setting, I couldn’t handle having my wife play the part of my daughter. That was too West Gotham for me. The fact that I’d rather her dress in a costume traditionally worn predominantly by young boys was still somehow less disturbing.
Go figure.
This involved going to a salon for the first time in my life, which was something I was a bit unprepared for. If you’re going to charge me $45 to do my hair, I damn well better need a cigarette afterwards. But, alas, the price of being a comic fan! It’s all right, I just added it to the cost of my 80+ comic book pull list for the month that feeds the addiction.
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If Ra’s al Ghul and Jon Stewart ever have a kid,
I’m totally playing that part. |
Putting the rest of the costume together was fairly simple, though I didn’t do the cape because the cost would have been inane. Still, for a day, I got to be Ra’s and I was joined by Melony and Anastasia as Robin and Batgirl.
Someone had suggested that Melony be Talia but even in a fictional setting, I couldn’t handle having my wife play the part of my daughter. That was too West Gotham for me. The fact that I’d rather her dress in a costume traditionally worn predominantly by young boys was still somehow less disturbing.
Go figure.
 |
And now I’ll never look at Robin the same way again…
|
When we finally did arrive, Anastasia’s mind was officially blown.
Last year, she had just turned two, but this year, at three years old, she was so much more aware and excited and every minute was met with a scream of, “Look, Daddy! Iron Man!,” and, “Hey, Daddy, it’s Joker!” As a dad, not only was I full of pride at her picking Darkseid out of a lineup, but I was also so happy to share this whole wonderful experience with her, just as each Wednesday we head to the comic shop together.
She’ll no doubt rebel against me in her teens—a rebellion I intend to crush with an iron fist as Ra’s no doubt would, mind you—but for now, she’s my little girl, thrilled to be by my side in the comic book community.
Last year, she had just turned two, but this year, at three years old, she was so much more aware and excited and every minute was met with a scream of, “Look, Daddy! Iron Man!,” and, “Hey, Daddy, it’s Joker!” As a dad, not only was I full of pride at her picking Darkseid out of a lineup, but I was also so happy to share this whole wonderful experience with her, just as each Wednesday we head to the comic shop together.
She’ll no doubt rebel against me in her teens—a rebellion I intend to crush with an iron fist as Ra’s no doubt would, mind you—but for now, she’s my little girl, thrilled to be by my side in the comic book community.
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And fighting crime. Don’t forget fighting crime.
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My plan for this year’s Con wasn’t just about a costume, however.
Oh no, I needed to streamline my creator hunting. I obtained a layout of the event days in advance and mapped out my plan of attack to maximize my meetings and autographs, this year armed with my own copies of comics so I didn’t have to waste time and money purchasing them there.
It was like planning the invasion of a small country and, by gum, I was going to be victorious.
And I was. Well, more or less.
By now, you’ve probably noticed this column is the first of two parts. So since this is a monthly column, that means part two is next month, right?
Wrong!
Brace yourselves, folks, because in true comic book fashion, it’s crossover time!
Later today, part two will be found on the other site I write for, www.NerdtopiaCast.com, at the following hyperlink under "latest posts."
That’s right, it’s the historic first ever meeting between the two sites, an encounter to rival the classic Flash of Two Worlds, so be sure to get the rest of the story, a harrowing tale of triumph and tragedy at no extra cost to you faithful readers, and join in on the history making event just a few clicks away!
Oh no, I needed to streamline my creator hunting. I obtained a layout of the event days in advance and mapped out my plan of attack to maximize my meetings and autographs, this year armed with my own copies of comics so I didn’t have to waste time and money purchasing them there.
It was like planning the invasion of a small country and, by gum, I was going to be victorious.
And I was. Well, more or less.
By now, you’ve probably noticed this column is the first of two parts. So since this is a monthly column, that means part two is next month, right?
Wrong!
Brace yourselves, folks, because in true comic book fashion, it’s crossover time!
Later today, part two will be found on the other site I write for, www.NerdtopiaCast.com, at the following hyperlink under "latest posts."
That’s right, it’s the historic first ever meeting between the two sites, an encounter to rival the classic Flash of Two Worlds, so be sure to get the rest of the story, a harrowing tale of triumph and tragedy at no extra cost to you faithful readers, and join in on the history making event just a few clicks away!
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| Please. My story is so much more exciting. That guy shouldn’t have been juggling girders in the first place. |
