A Scranton man went bat-shit insane last Friday after spending the evening in a zombie-induced rage.
Richard Cimino Jr. began his night by stripping off all his clothes and breaking into a house only to be confronted by the homeowners. After arguing with Cimino about the merits of such a thing HE JUMPED OUT THEIR SECOND FLOOR WINDOW cutting himself to shreds.
Then the lunatic, bloody and naked, saw two women walking down the street and proceeded to jump them and GNAW ON ONE OF THEIR HEADS.
After escaping from the Zombie (by what I am assuming was by the use of a crowbar and/or bat with nails in it), the women were able to call the police and alert them to the possible outbreak.
The police located Cimino lying in the street seemingly dead (first mistake) when Zombie-boy lunged after a police office only to be stun gunned by him. Cimino, not fazed by the stunning, then PUNCHED AN EMERGENCY WORKER before being loaded into the ambulance a transported to the local hospital.
The police aren't saying whether or not Cimino was on drugs.
Hahahahahahaha!
Whatever, I'm going to be in my basement until the end of 2012.
Source: The Times-tribune
