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THE FUTILITY OF EXISTENCE: A Drunk Man, A Fence And A Philosophical Examination of Humankind's Inability To Grasp The Concept of Pointlessness

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Good morning class, today we will be discussing the Futility of Existence. You know, that overwhelming feeling that sometimes kicks in at three in the morning in which you reach a moment of clarity that this whole journey we call life boils down to the fact that nothing you do means anything and there's nothing you can do about it.

I know, it's kind of a deeply metaphysical concept that is not easily defined in a way that we can understand, but luckily we can grasp this philosophical realization of futility through a moving educational film that not only exemplifies this transmigration of belief into reality, but also promises to teach us all that perhaps we should slow down on the cosmic vodka consumption and stop climbing impenetrable fences...and I mean that both literally and figuratively.

Video after the break.

And yes, this will be on the test.

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The Most Epic Megalomaniacal Save-the-Date Video EVER Made

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WTF Did I Just See?

I guess I shouldn't be too surprised by the existence of a Save-the-Date video which encompasses everything that is wrong with society. After-all, we are living in a world where scripted "Reality" TV shows are consumed in such great quantities that I'm pretty sure our souls have shrivelled down to the size of prunes in retaliation for feeding it pure, uncut bullshit and can no longer function as a compass toward personally defined morality.

But all the Duck Dynasty and Dance Moms in the world can't compete with the cinematic wedding announcement of Bambo Obaro and Janice Jentz.

To say that their Save-the-Date video is filled with an overwhelming degree of self-absorbed imagery is an understatement. In fact, there's a chance that even Kanye West and whole of the Kardashian clan would be repulsed by the blatant megalomania featured within it and feel the need to cleanse themselves of narcissism through various acts of altruistic charity that would lead them into practical sainthood. 

Seriously, we are all so completely and utterly doomed as a species.

Video after the break.

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Wanna Learn About Fossils? Wanna Learn About Fossils Set to LMFAO's 'Party Rock Anthem'? Yeah, I Thought So

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Engaging young 'uns in the area of science can be difficult, especially when you are knee deep in areas that involve scary things like the Permian Extinction.

But thanks to Tom McFadden, science doesn't have to be weird and overwhelming if you put these concepts to music, or, more specifically, rap or parody covers of songs like Party Rock Anthem by LMFAO.

Yep, its a whole lot easier to learn about fossils when you can picture this in your head:


God you young people get everything.

Awesome video after the break.

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Ron Randall's TREKKER: THE TRAIN TO AVALON BAY (review)

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Review by Benn Robbins
Writer: Ron Randall
Artist: Ron Randall, Karl Kesel
Colorist: Jeremy Colwell
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
Price: $9.99
Release Date: April 16, 2014


Ron Randall’s Trekker: The Train To Avalon Bay is an fantastic read.  An all-new story (collecting installments from Dark Horse Presents #24–#29) featuring Randall’s character, Mercy St. Clair, who made her debut during the height of the indie comic boon of the late 80’s in the pages of the original Dark Horse Presents.

Known as a Trekker, she is a strong willed, tough-as-nails, bounty hunter and is pretty much everything you could ever want from a sci-fi heroine.

A stand out comic back in the day and a breath of relief for those looking for a comic story where the female main character doesn’t rely on skimpy costumes and her feminine wiles to get what she wants.

It still rings true today, more than ever.

That isn’t to say she isn’t sexy or succeeds in her missions. She is highly trained and as deadly as she is beautiful.

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Hidden Horror: A Celebration of 101 Underrated and Overlooked Fright Flicks (review)

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I’ve yet to meet anyone who has seen it all.

Every last horror movie. Sure, I mean we’ve all met someone who’s said, “Pshaw, just try and name a movie I haven’t seen!”

But, whether they admit it or not there are holes in their viewership.

Heck, we may even be that person.

More often than not, I have find myself hard pressed to discover something I haven’t seen before. So, I’ll cycle through my old favorites and maybe throw in an errant Netflix recommendation. However, that gets old.

Fast.

Because, believe you me, the amount of total biffs on Netflix are a plenty. The days of perusing the aisles at the video store are behind us and we find ourselves at a mental crossroads. What do I watch now? Where should I start?
 
Well, let me tell you, start with Hidden Horror.


This lovely, hefty book is the brainchild of Dr. AC, also known as Aaron Christensen. Hidden Horror is a collection of well-written, attention grabbing essays by 101 of the horror community’s most active, brightest and dedicated. It’s almost academic in it’s depth and attention to detail.

The book itself, roughly three hundred pages long, is no easy feat if you aren’t genuinely interested in learning about the accursed forgotten or overlooked. Chances are if you’re a diehard fan, you’ll have seen quite a few of these gems. However, I read this from cover to cover and found that even with films I had seen, I learned something new or was able to see it from someone else's perspective.

That, in my humble opinion, is the most valuable quality of this book.

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ComiXology Acquisition Q & A with Tim Gibson of MOTH CITY on The Cosmic Treadmill

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Moth City (Thrillbent) is one of our favorite and innovative digital comics, so when we heard of the pending merger between ComiXology and Amazon we had questions!

Who better to ask these to than Moth City’s own Tim Gibson?


We get into the nitty gritty of the pinch, swipes, scans, payments and tablet wars with our favorite Kiwi after the jump!



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THE STAR WARS #7 (review)

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Review by Tony Pacitti
Writer: J. W. Rinzler   
Artist: Mike Mayhew   
Colorist:  Rain Beredo  
Cover Artist: Nick Runge   
Published by Dark Horse Comics 
On Sale April 16, 2013


With The Star Wars #7 the pieces are moved into place for a final confrontation between the forces of good and evil, but still who some of those forces are remains vague.

Evil is still Evil with a capital E, and that’s about as far as it goes into getting into the villains heads. Vader gets some page time--here portrayed as a bit of a psychopath as he tortures Leia.

This is a stark contrast to the Vader that made it to the screen, a ruthless, emotionless black slab of evil incarnate. Movie Vader is clinical in his approach to torture, whether it be Leia on the Death Star or Han Solo on Cloud City.

In this month’s issue we see him find a sick satisfaction in pointlessly electrocuting the young princess while he waits for his boss to show up for the actual interrogation.

It’s an interesting wrinkle on a character who has, up until this point, been little more than “that guy we like, but without a helmet!”

Vallorum is still M.I.A., which is only weird because of how prominently he’s featured on the cover. What role he plays in the evolution of this story to the films is up in the air. It makes sense to assume that he and this version of Vader just get rolled up together to make the more compelling character we’re familiar with but without all of the excess narrative fat.

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THE EASTER BUNNY'S COMING! But In A Violently Gross and Very NSFW Kind of Way...

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So, yeah, this "Holiday" special from Fox's Animation Domination High-Def (ADHD) online channel is not so much about the miraculous resurrection of the Spring Bunny after being crucified by a bunch of Roman chickens who wanted all the chocolate in the land, as it is some joyously festive animated bunny porn (I just don't get you gentiles at all, this is Easter?).

Now, I'm may not be a participant in your whole "celebrating the lepus as the savior of a particular religious sect" thingy, but I do like jelly beans and Cadbury Creme Eggs, so you know what? I'm not going to judge any of you Christians for your bizarre religious belief when it comes to fornicating rabbits who like to hide baskets of candy around your house.

You may are all a bunch of weirdos but at least you have a holiday dedicated to chocolate.

Video after the break.

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RAY BRADBURY On Life & Love

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When you're a creative person (or a person who strives to be creative) there are times when you feel exceptionally vulnerable about your state of being. Questions like "What Am I Doing With My Life?", "Am I Good Enough?" or "Should I Just Give Up And Get A Temp Job?" can plague you night after night and drain your soul even though you already know the answer before you even ask the question. 

Yes, you are doing exactly what you should be doing.

But knowing that is different than believing in it, and sometimes you just need to hear about giving into your passions from one of your personal heroes, like Ray Bradbury for instance, who is so unapologetic in his own self-belief that when you hear him muse on life and love, you are replenished with fervor to renew your exploration into art, or writing, or whatever it is that brings you a sense of fulfillment in life.

And really, isn't that all that we truly need? Someone to say it's okay to be who we are. 

I know I do.

Video after the break.

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MARY & GRETEL: An Olden Times Stop-Motion Animation That Will Delight and Enchant You (Or Any Other Emotion That Seems Quaint & Dated)

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Long ago when putting visuals on film was considered "Magic", this stop-motion animation (Mary and Gretel made in either 1916 or 1917) was most likely looked upon as being brought forth into the world by leprechauns and elves, BECAUSE THAT'S HOW FUCKING MAGICAL IT WAS BACK THEN.

Now, I'm not going to tell you that the animated short is awesome by today's standards, but you have to give it up to creator Howard S. Moss, who looked at a pile of toys and thought "Yeah, I'm totally going to blow some minds today" (Well, in reality he adapted the idea from a series of books called Motoys in Life) but it is still pretty impressive if you ask me.

The description of the short flick is fairly straightforward: A fairy brings two dolls to life and immediately they meet a drunk rabbit and bowling dwarfs (I told you it was simple). It's kind of an Alice in Wonderland meets The Garden of Eden (or so it's been called via various sources) and while the plot may be short on story, it's still an interesting historical look back at animation and the willingness of audiences to be enthralled with stuff we would find boring today.

God I miss the days when I could get excited by things.

Video after the break.

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Win CONFESSION OF MURDER on Blu-ray!

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When the statute of limitations expires on a series of high-profile murders, a handsome and mysterious young man emerges with a tell-all book, taking credit for the crimes. As he seduces the media into following him to book signings and televised debates, the officer who hunted him falls deeper into obsession, and the victims' families plot their own revenge.

And we're giving away three copies!


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COLBERT, LETTERMAN And Late Night Diversity

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When the news first broke that Stephen Colbert would replace David Letterman on The Late Show, I had two basic thoughts on the matter.

First ... Goodbye to "Stephen Colbert." Long live Stephen Colbert.

And second ... Figures.


The first phrase, because Colbert feels like a good fit to follow in Letterman's footsteps. Intelligent, smart-alecky, a propensity for the absurd, and a stage persona based on gentlemanly impishness. Colbert has been the leader of irreverent comedy for the past few years. And he's already a Viacom employee, as Comedy Central and CBS are corporate sisters.

But the "Colbert" character he portrayed on Comedy Central – a bigoted conservative whose blind values satirically get in the way of his own common sense or benefit – would be finished forever. That guy can't interview Will Smith and Jennifer Aniston every night.

The second phrase, because, quite frankly, a late night TV talk atmosphere nearly exclusively white and male needed its replacement to be the same.

OK, OK, I can feel you rolling your eyes.

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Everything is Awesome! 'THE LEGO MOVIE' Arrives on Blu-ray Combo, DVD & Digital HD on 6/17!

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Also available is the EVERYTHING IS AWESOME EDITION
with exclusive LEGO minifigure, bonus 3D movie, and more!

The original 3D computer-animated story follows Emmet, an ordinary, rules-following, perfectly average LEGO minifigure who is mistakenly identified as The Special, the most extraordinary person and the key to saving the world. He is drafted into a fellowship of strangers on an epic quest to stop an evil tyrant, a journey for which Emmet is hopelessly and hilariously underprepared.

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Fischer’s Legacy and the 50th Anniversary of a Superhuman Feat

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Guest Post by Mike Wilmering

Every once in a while a human being puts on a superhuman performance that makes all of the mere mortals around him stare in awe, mouths agape, dumbfounded by the sheer brilliance of what they just witnessed.

Fifty years ago, the chess geeks of the world emerged from their caves, slack jawed and dazed by one of the most dominating performances in chess history.

Robert James Fischer, affectionately known as Bobby, was already well established on the U.S. chess scene. He’d already won his first U.S. Chess Championship in 1957 at the age of 14 and was the presumed favorite when the 1963-64 U.S. Championship came along. He was an emerging hero not yet at the pinnacle of his career, but well on his way to legendary status.

But Bobby was a perfectionist. And Bobby wasn’t pleased with his play at the previous U.S. Championship. Sure he won the 1962-63 U.S. Championship, but only barely. And for the first time in almost four years, he actually lost a U.S. Championship game.

And Bobby didn’t like to lose.

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TRANSCENDENCE (review)

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Review by Clay N Ferno
Produced by Broderick Johnson, Andrew A. Kosorve, 
Kate Cohen, Marisa Polvino, Annie Marter, 
David Valdes, Aaron Ryder
Written by Jack Paglen
Directed by Wally Pfister
Starring Johnny Depp, Morgan Freeman, 
Rebecca Hall, Kate Mara, Cillian Murphy, 
Cole Hauser, Paul Bettany


Johnny Depp stars as Dr. Will Caster in Transcendence, a look at the singularity whereby artificial intelligence progresses to beyond human intelligence.

A self-replicating computer (Depp) attempts to right the wrongs in the world via technological intervention as Evelyn Caster (Rebecca Hall) is caught between helping her husband’s dream come true and her own humanity.  Anti-tech rebel Bree (Kate Mera) enlists the help of former Caster colleagues Joseph Tagger (Morgan Freeman) and Max Waters (Paul Bettany) and FBI Agent Buchanan (Cillian Murphy) to shut this whole thing down.

We’re introduced to the Caster couple as they are ready to give a symposium on the benefits of artificial intelligence to a sold out auditorium. A member of the anti-tech contingent, RIFT attempts to assassinate Dr. Caster shortly after the presentation. He is not killed, but poisoned by an isotope that infected his blood stream with radiation poisoning.

Most of this review will unavoidably reveal major plot points, so consider yourself warned.

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YOUR BODY DURING ADOLESCENCE: An Educational Film Short That Examines Why Your Inner Parts Enjoy F*cking Sh*t Up

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These People's Glands Are All F*cking Crazy

The years between thirteen and eighteen can be emotionally and physiologically difficult. Feelings are intensified, emotions run rampant, logic and critical thinking skills are nowhere to be seen and let's face it, the down low naughty parts are constantly inflamed and ready to do things that even hookers stay away from.

So yeah, you can say that there's a reason why teenagers are so fucking nuts.

But since education is key when it comes to understanding why the hell things keep leaking out of various orifices, this film short, while from the 50s, is pretty damn helpful. There's a bunch of stuff about sex glands, boobs, scrotums and hair growing in weird places that are comforting to anyone who is undergoing horrible body changes, as well as a soft-spoken narrator who calmly says "Don't Worry" several times after alerting the viewer to the fact that sometimes shit occurs in the body that can freak people the fuck out.

Yep, the human body is pretty great...if you don't mind going crazy for a few years.

Film after the break.

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WTF FRIDAY: SAMMY DAVIS JR. Sings The Theme Song To 'My Mother The Car'

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In 1965 NBC green lit a shitastic show called My Mother The Car about a guy (Jerry Van Dyke, Coach) whose dead mother (voiced by Ann Southern, The Whales of August) is re-incarnated as a shitty rundown car that he then buys and fixes up (which makes sense since you wouldn't want your mom to be covered in mud and rust right?). The show lasted one season and is considered, by most critics and viewers, to be the single worst show to have ever graced the small screen...the worst...meaning a show like Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is vastly superior to it.

Chew on that for a while.

While the show itself might be stupid and weird, what is even more confounding is the fact that the Candy Man himself (that would be Sammy Davis Jr for all of you who didn't grow up watching Rat Pack movies on late night TV) did a cover of the ridiculous theme song, giving credence to a show that would have been nixed had all the TV execs not been drunk on Scotch or whatever else they drank back in the 60s while at the office.

Sammy's cover is after the break, and, as a gesture to educate you on the horribleness of My Mother the Car, I've also included the first episode.

Enjoy.

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LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES: Seven Minutes In Heaven, A Teen Drama Worthy of All Its Angst

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While John Hughes might have cornered the market on fabulous teen dramas (and rightly so) there were a few flicks that slipped into the mix that might have been forgotten (or worse, never seen at all) that are worthy of being shelved next to Pretty in Pink, The Breakfast Club and Some Kind of Wonderful (and yes, I'm well aware of Sixteen Candles and the rest of the Hughes oeuvre, I just didn't want to type them all out).

And one of those highly evolved teen movies is Seven Minutes in Heaven, starring Jennifer Connelly (A Beautiful Mind), Maddie Corman (The Adventures of Ford Fairlane) and Byron Thames (Johnny Dangerously) as 15 year-old friends who are trying to negotiate the choppy waters of budding adulthood, friend jealousy and the always painful "I-Wanna-Be-More-Than-Friends" rejection from those you want the most.

Take my word for it, it is a gut-wrenching, funny, brilliant tale of the teenage years that should have become a classic (and it also co-stars the dreamy Billy Wirth from The Lost Boys if you need a little more enticing). So watch the movie after the break then buy it HERE to add to your collection...it's so worth it.

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Double Feature Movie Show: NEW YORK CITY OF THE 70s

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We all know that New York City has come a long, long way.

In the 70s, it was damn near bankrupt. The Bronx looked like a war zone. Homeless people almost outnumbered homed people. The garbage collector strike wreaked havoc on the entire city. The subways weren’t safe. Ever.

Sadly, this is still the image that many people have of NYC.

And, while it does have its charm and romance…if your idea of romance is getting mugged while watching the dirtiest porn you can think of. I kind of love reading stories about The Deuce and its grindhouses. And I absolutely love movies that are set in that particular world.

But, just as I couldn’t live in NYC now, I DEFINITELY couldn’t live there in the 70s or 80s. It was just far too volatile for…well, anyone, really.

(I say all of this, but I love the hell out of New York City. As a visitor, though. I spent four weeks there one time. It was enough to go from “I could live here!” to tapping my fingers very roughly on the table, thinking “I gotta get outta here NOW!”)

There are, however, two sides to every story.

For every story about the Lower East Side burning, there’s a story about the Upper West side’s parties.

Let’s take a look at the two sides of NYC in two classic 70s movies.

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Win an X-MEN Prize Package!

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Sure, the First Class has long since graduated and we're still a bit a ways from the Days of Future Past, but FOG! has teamed up with our friends at TV Store Online to welcome you to the Charles Xavier School For Gifted Youngsters by giving away an X-Prize Package!

We're giving away:





















Xavier Institute for Higher Learning T-Shirt
This 100% cotton black t-shirt features a red print of the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning logo and the phrase Mutatis Mutandis. It's the perfect attire for gifted youngsters.


X Belt Buckle
Every good mutant needs a belt to keep his tights up. This X-Men logo belt buckle provides a sense of style to a world that fears and hates them.

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