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One Nation, Under Puzzles

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Guest Post by Glenn Dallas

Hello Forces of Geek!

My name is Glenn Dallas, and among other endeavors, I write for the PuzzleNation Blog, a site dedicated to all things puzzly.

I'm a sci-fi geek, a Star Wars geek, a B-movie geek, a horror fan, a roleplayer, an avid reader, and a film buff. I spend entirely too much money on LEGOs each year, I can name entirely too many characters in the Mos Eisley Cantina, and I am entirely too emotionally invested in Hollywood's recent fascination with "gritty" unnecessary reboots.

Sorry, just felt a need to establish my geek cred before I continue.

I was surprised when Stefan told me there's no puzzle content on FOG!, since puzzles are right up the modern geek's alley.

I mean, deep down, we all want to be treasure hunters, solving riddles and unraveling mysteries.

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The Norwegian Duo Known as YLVIS Kicks The Speak-and-Spell Up A Notch With Their Song 'THE FOX'...You're Really Going to Need to Watch This...Like, Right Now

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I'm going to be honest with you, before yesterday I didn't know who the hell Ylvis was (although, to be fair, they are from Norway and the U.S is notoriously ethnocentric in their importing of culture from other counties, so how would I have known?) but now that I am aware of brothers Bård Ylvisåker and Vegard Ylvisåker (who do happen to be huge in Norway...like Beiber huge, they have their own talk/variety show)- otherwise known as Ylvis- I will spend a copious amount of time getting to know them in a much deeper way.

After-all, anyone who puts out a bizarre dance number in order to promote the new season of their show "I kveld med YLVIS" deserves to be worshipped.

Check out The Fox music video after the break...and then watch it again a couple hundred more times.

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Perpetually Persistent: Richard Williams and His Vision

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Back in 1980, the animator Joe Oriolo (producer of the TV Felix the Cat cartoons and subsequent owner of the character) vented to historian Will Friedwald about how he lost the option to produce Raggedy Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure to Richard Williams a few years earlier.

Said Oriolo:
“The budget was [$1.75 million] when they gave it to me, Oriolo Films. After Williams got done it cost four million bucks! The guy is the biggest phony, and the picture stinks! The worst garbage. You see, Dick Williams can't animate. He'll lock himself in a room, take the drawings that were animated and go over them. He ruined that picture. The picture wasn't worth fifty thousand. You see, Dick Williams can't animate. He'll lock himself in a room, take the drawings that were animated and go over them. He ruined that picture.”
… Among other things…  Oriolo’s own track record in television doesn’t convince me his version of Raggedy Ann would have been any better (or more watchable) than Williams’s, but Oriolo’s skepticism (to put it mildly) of Williams’s craft does echo a lot of what is said, implied, and dissected in Kevin Schreck’s documentary Persistence of Vision.


A bite-sized bastardization of the events chronicled: Richard Williams began work on The Cobbler and the Thief, his magnum opus of a feature film, in London. For what ended up being a grand total of 24 years the production inched along, solely financed by his studio’s commercial work. (The aforementioned Raggedy Ann, the one flop of Williams’s everyone remembers, is never mentioned in the documentary; Schreck tells me it’d have been too tangential to include it and that his interviewees didn’t work on it.)

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DUBSTEP Dancing to Michael Jackson's 'Thriller'

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Marquese Scott is an amazing dancer whose willingness to contort his body in ways not known to man is worth seeing again and again.

And in this performance to Michael Jackson's Thriller, he does more than pay homage to the king of epic dancing, he takes the title for himself.

Yeah, I said it.

Watch the video below and marvel at moves that are seemingly alien in nature.

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TOP 5 TV Towns

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If fictional TV towns were real, we’d all probably move to one in a heartbeat.

For most of us, our hometowns just pale in comparison. Or does yours have a demon-friendly karaoke bar too?

Some TV towns are much more than just a backdrop; they can feel so real that we feel like we’re living there too - we know the best places to eat (Luke’s Diner for coffee, The Pie Hole for pies), are all up in everybody’s business (if you live in Bon Temps, chances are you’re having, going to have or just had sex with a vampire), and know who to avoid (whether it’s a super-villain monkey with an oversized brain or a 13 year old brat ruler of the Seven Kingdoms).

We’re all out of magical red ruby shoes, so here are five fictional towns we can only wish we could visit in reality:


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BBC Home Entertainment Announces DOCTOR WHO: THE COMPLETE SERIES 1-7 LTD ED. BLU-RAY GIFT SET

Contest! Win BBC America's 'WILD THINGS WITH DOMINIC MONAGHAN' Set on DVD!

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BBC Home Entertainment takes a walk on the wild side with two DVDs of actor and wildlife enthusiast, Dominic Monaghan’s (Lost, Lord of the Rings), hit BBC AMERICA series Wild Things with Dominic Monaghan. Arriving on DVD on September 17, Creepy Crawlers and Deadliest Critters, feature adventures across the globe from the rainforests of Ecuador to an underground river in Laos to uncover the scariest and most exotic creatures on the planet. Nominated for a Critics’ Choice Award for Best Reality Series, Wild Things with Dominic Monaghan takes viewers on a heart-pumping, world-wide journey as Dominic encounters vibrant locals, quirky experts, tasty cuisine and a host of creatures that inhabit the strange and wonderfully wild places.

Dominic’s passion for wild things developed long before his acting career began. As a child, he worked alongside his father – a teacher and biologist – and learned the proper way to handle, care for and appreciate the creatures of the wild. Never losing his love for insects and reptiles, Dominic owns a small forest in India, and has worked with the animal rights group PETA. He’d often be found bug hunting while on location in Hawaii while filming Lost, and his California home is purposely “infested” with a growing menagerie of rare beasts including two giant spiders, a darkling beetle, a Scolopendra, a gecko, and dozens of mammoth hawk moths. Dominic hopes to dispel the myths we have about these creepy crawly creatures, and shed new light on their importance to earth’s ecosystem.

And we're giving away three sets of Creepy Crawlers and Deadliest Critters!

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A COMPANY MAN (review)

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Review by Dean Galanis
The feature writing and directing debut from Sang-yoon Lim, A COMPANY MAN is a rather impressive action/noir/corporate satire.

It stars Ji-seob So as a loyal worker for a company that on the surface deals with metals, but is in actuality a hitman-for-hire organization.

So is a trusted, efficient worker for the company…until, through a series of circumstances, he wants out.

The company does not take this news well…

Fast-paced, exciting, brutal, emotionally involving, A COMPANY MAN is anything but boring. 


While it certainly owes a strong debt to films ranging from Michael Mann’s THIEF to John Woo’s THE KILLER, from DRIVE to the BOURNE films, Lim’s feature still never succumbs to “you’ve seen it all before” disinterest.

So is subdued yet charismatic (not unlike Ryan Gosling in DRIVE), and the supporting cast is uniformly fine.

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THE WORLD OF LISA FRANK: The Days of Hyper-Stylized Unicorns and Rainbows Are Back...Let The 80's Begin Again!

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Back in the age of neon, you weren't really a "girl" unless you slathered yourself in Lisa Frank stickers, had a Lisa Frank notebook or ate from a Lisa Frank Lunchbox that was adorned with hearts, bears and/or candy. 

And the best part about owning anything Lisa Frank was that to look directly at it would cause one's retinas to burn due to the high concentration of bright colors not always found in nature.


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Book Report: Agatha Christie Returns, TV Looks To The Bookshelf For Ideas, Authors Handselling Their Work & More!

BREAKING BAD: "To'hajiilee" S5E13 (review)

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By Seth Levi
It’s all about the brand recognition — lessons imparted by three characters this episode.

On a high level it’s about presenting an image, sometimes a false one; this episode was about duplicity, everybody running a con.

I guess you could say that’s what marketing is — my favorite quote from North by Northwest is: “In the world of advertising, there's no such thing as a lie. There's just the expedient exaggeration.”


The episode begins with Todd’s first solo cook where he manages to get the purity of the meth up to 76 percent, but he overheats it, burning the blue out of it. As Lydia informs him, no matter how high the purity, blue is their brand — it must be blue. Todd pledges to try harder, and in one of the more awkward moments, hits on Lydia.

Picking up after the aborted sting in the plaza, Jesse reveals his plan to capture Walt: go after what he cares about most, the money. He doesn’t know where the money is, but he knows who might know: Saul’s bodyguard, Huell.

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LOW WINTER SUN: “Cake on the Way” S1E5 (review)

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By Kate McKendry
After Joe Gedde’s (Lennie James) connection of Billy’s death to Brendan McCann’s death during the final scenes of episode 4, Joe and Frank Agnew (Mark Strong) work to come up with a story of how Brendan was murdered.  Joe pays a visit to the drug dealer-turned-reverend that Dani Khalil (Athena Karkanis) had previously interviewed in order to learn more about Billy.


Joe tells him he can help get his brother out of jail for information – the reverend explains how Billy was the middleman in delivering drugs and receiving payments. At the same time, Dani and Frank question internal affairs officer Simon Boyd (David Costabile) about Anton Bobek (the informant found dead in Brendan’s trunk.

Frank asks why Brendan wasn’t trailed if it was known that he was potentially dealing drugs with Billy – Boyd gives them a cryptic answer as to why that knowledge wouldn’t be useful to investigation.

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DEXTER: "Goodbye Miami" S8E10 (review)

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By Caitlyn Thompson
This episode was painful to watch.

I’m not disappointed anymore, just pissed. The actors have no scripts to work with so everyone is phoning it in, delivering lines with the same monotonous tone. There is no thrill or suspense left.

Dexter has become a series of sets where two people meet, share filler greetings, followed by unintelligent whining about nothing. The melodrama is unappealing and it breaks my heart that the creators have given this one-ply remnant as the last season of what was once an incredible and provocative series.


It’s bold to believe that any given character truly has feelings for another. The actors look incredibly bored. All dialogue is expository and repetitive. Nothing is moving the story forward. And the attempts to create suspense are laugh worthy.

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ALL IN A LATHER: The Ritual Of Straight Razor Shaving Revealed!

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The author as a young shaver.






It's something I choose to do everyday, and yet, it is also something that everyday fills me with reluctance, dread and contempt—shaving my face.

There once was a time of youth where I could not wait for the day I could imitate my father who, his entire life spent beardless, would repeat his daily and seemingly magical ritual using strange instruments and groovy concoctions.

Tools and mixtures that belonged to a craft that had also been fueled by years of seeing the practice worked in popular culture, from Bugs Bunny to The Three Stooges, The Flintstones to I Love Lucy, my pop culture references on shaving were long and deeply ingrained.

For me, the fine art of shaving would at one time seem as desirous as that scene in Mario Bava's Danger Diabolik, where the anti-hero Diabolik swims around atop his bed with his girlfriend in a pool of cash.

A memorable scene from Danger Diabolik, somehow worked into this piece on shaving.

Sadly, the reality of years of shaving have never been so sweet, happy, nor fun.

 In fact, it has been one of the daily chores of my life that has led me to seek out ways to get a better, less painful and more efficient shave.

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Own A Chunk of the CHELYABINSK METEORITE! You Know, It Was The Meteor That Was In All The YouTube Videos...Oh, Yeah, Now You Remember

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Back in February of this year a little bit of space debris entered our atmosphere in the form of a fucking asteroid going 60 times the speed of sound before exploding in the sky over Chelyabinsk, Russia expelling 20 times more force than the bomb dropped on Hiroshima.

In other words, it was an epic event that injured around 1100 people and shattered windows in thousands of buildings all over that particular part of Russia.

And, now (thanks to our need to sell stuff) you can own a chunk of that killing machine from space whose cousin will no doubt wipe all life from this planet in the future for only $69.99

Yep, there is nothing more satisfying than handing over your hard-earned moolah and owning a space rock showcased in a shadowbox decorated in a Soviet-era mini poster (I'll admit that that sounded overly sarcastic but I am still a bit freaked over how close we actually came to getting our asses kicked by a rock from space and I might still have some residual bitterness left over from it).

If you're into asteroids this is definitely something you're going to want.

If you are wondering what it is I'm talking about, there is a video after the break that will break it down for you.

Either way, I'm going to lay down and try not think about our impending doom.

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The Pull List: FOREVER EVIL #1, CODENAME ACTION #1, BALTIMORE: THE INFERNAL TRAIN #1 & More!

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Check out what I checked out this week.

Whether the comics are inspiring or disappointing, I read them all.

Welcome to The Pull List.

And, as always...Spoilers ahead!

Superior Spider-Man #17 (Pick of the Week)
Writer: Dan Slott
Artist: Ryan Stegman & Livesay
Colorist: Edgar Delgado
Pubisher: Marvel Comics
Price: $3.99

The rip in the time continuum, due to the events in the Age of Ultron, is causing a plethora of damage all across the time stream.

The appearance of Spider-Man 2099 in the regular Marvel universe has been rumored for months and it has finally come to pass. Fans have been dying for a battle between the two web crawlers for years.

The timing of this is brilliant because Miguel O’Hara would have been the pseudo bad guy, but now Peter Parker is out and Otto Octavius is in.


This situation makes it impossible for Miguel O’Hara to be the bad guy, and makes the reader want to see Spider-Man go down.

An interesting revelation takes place during the book’s time in 2099.

O’Hara, not understanding why 2013 is so important, and the realization that he will have to come face-to-face with the original Spider-Man, realizes this means that the whole Peter/Otto mind swap is not a publicly known fact in 2099. The humor that Dan Slott injects into this series is often under-rated, but it works on so many levels because it’s not done for the sake of being laugh out loud funny, but done with the purpose of enhancing a character and the story. Otto’s spider sense is going off ad nauseum and bringing him to the point where he says “What a completely useless super power! Be more specific, damn it!”

It is funny and absurd at the same time because the particular power is a hallmark in the Spider-Man mythology, but it figures that someone like the good doctor could never appreciate it. While the Spider-Men don’t lock horns in this issue, next month’s showdown is brilliantly set up in a manner where you care about every facet of the story being told.

Grade: A

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ARCHER'S Dish Whiskey Soap Will Get Your Dishes Drunk As Well As Squeaky Clean

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Archer is a real man's company specializing in real man stuff like room deodorizers scented like a European Sports Car, a Distillery or a Hunting Lodge.

But now this highly testosterone-laden company (located here in the manly U.S.A) has created a dish soap specially formulated to smell like "...barrel-aged, charcoal-filtered, whiskey-inspired sink soap".

Yep.

And just like how those long-ago lawmen who rode the range searching out violent lawless men used to care for their bullet wounds (like real fucking men), you too can clean off your dishes by pouring some whiskey (soap) over your gunked-up food holders and scrubbing away any potential life-threatening bacteria (unfortunately though, you can't take a swig for yourself).

Oh Whiskey, is there anything you can't do?

So, if you're real man, looking for real man dish care products, you should probably get to ordering a bottle for yourself.

I mean, how else can you measure a man but by their choice of dish soap.

Source: Uncrate

MUSIC VIDEO MONDAY: You're On Fire- They Might Be Giants

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I'm going to make this a brief post so that I can throw the vinyl edition of TMBG's new album Nanobots (which I received this weekend) on my turntable and enjoy it as only an under-employed thirty-nine year old can...by laying next to the speakers, slightly buzzed on cough syrup.

Here's the video for their single You're On Fire starring everyone's favorite almost-choked-to-death C.O from Orange Is the New Black, Susan Fischer (Lauren Lapkus) so that you too can join me in this musical revelation.

Enjoy.

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20 Years of 'Morphin' Available For a Limited Time Starting Tuesday 9/10!

CAMPBELL'S SOUP Is Heading In The Keurig Direction...Great, So Now We Have Become Too Lazy To Even Warm Up Soup...Awesome

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Perhaps it's just me, but never have I stared deeply at my Keurig coffee maker and thought, "You know what would be great? If this thing made soup."

Then again, I rarely make eye contact with any of my household appliances out of fear that they will go all Maximum Overdrive on my ass (you know, parents back in the 80's should have been a bit more vigilant when it came to letting their preteens watch a movie that depicted appliances chopping people up). 

Regardless, it appears that Campbell's Soup took a look at our desire to spend $11.99 for a package of plastic pre-scooped coffee holders that wouldn't even come up to the half-way mark on a small can of $6 Folgers and thought to themselves, "These lazy people deserve to waste even more of their money so let's make K-Cup Soup Packets and see what happens."

And they are...next year.

So, how is this thing going to work?

Well, there's two parts to it (that's already too much work). The first is opening up a package of dry noodle bits/vegetable garnish and pouring it into some kind of receptacle (I'm guessing a coffee mug) and then putting the broth cup into the Keurig the same way you would if you were making coffee. Then hit the "Brew" button and let the magic of mediocre broth making begin. 

Yep, we have truly grown as a species.

You will be able to find the Campbell's Soup K-Cups sometime in 2014 "...right next to the coffee K-Cups". [Advertising Age

And to think, at one time we predicted that the future would give us flying cars...

Source: Foodiggity
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