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For about a month, I had been seeing obscure previews for a little show that was coming to ABC called The River.
I had no idea what it was about, who was in it, and at least six times I couldn’t even tell what the hell time it was going to be on, but score one for advertising because I sure wanted to find out the answers.
As intrigued as I was, I was a little worried at the big deal being made about it coming from some of the creators of Paranormal Activity because when I hear things like that I automatically think of shaky cameras, unclear images, and “scares” consisting of something randomly jumping in front of the screen.
And a bunch of 14 year old girls screaming.
I didn’t care for the Blair Witch Project, and Paranormal Activity was about as scary as an episode of Dora the Explorer.
Shakiness and confusion aren’t horror. They’re symptoms of epilepsy.
But, still, I had nothing better to do on a Tuesday night because, let’s face it, I’ve got no life to speak of, and I tuned in to watch the two hour premiere.
The River follows the search for Dr. Emmet Cole, the host of a reality nature show that disappeared with his crew while on a secretive expedition on the Amazon River.
Led by his estranged wife and son, Tess and Lincoln, a new crew is assembled by the network that aired his The Undiscovered Country and sent to get answers behind his disappearance.
Naturally, that’s easier said than done as they uncover a lot more than they bargained for and find out that Emmet’s mission involved finding the source of all magic.
And before you continue, it’s my mission to remind you that SPOILER WARNINGS are in full effect from this point on.
Utilizing a combination of the same types of filming techniques as Paranormal Activity—shaky first person shots, grainy camcorder footage, and static surveillance cameras—and standard television, The River goes for that “lost footage” realism as the new crew discovers the abandoned boat Emmet used to broadcast from and decides to set up shop.
The crew itself is stocked with the staples you’d expect of a show of this nature—the dutiful wife, the reluctant hero, the tough guy, the pretty girl, the superstitious foreigners, the wisecracking cameraman, and the cocky asshat—but they play off one another well enough for it work.
Emmet Cole wasn’t exactly the father and husband of the year the public had seen on his reality show and behind the scenes he developed an obsession with magic, alienating his family and friends before disappearing into the jungle.
Reviewing video tapes that Emmet left behind, Lincoln and company head through the Amazon only to encounter deadly spirits, legendary monsters, and lost tribes intent on keeping the Source a secret to outsiders.
The show itself has taken on a very X-Files monster of the week feel thus far, with the overarching theme of finding Emmet Cole playing against the backdrop of a new menace each week.
Along the way, revelations about Emmet’s motivations, ulterior motives of some of the crew (I’m looking at you, Kurt), and the familial strife that affected Tess and Lincoln shape the decisions the crew makes, as they’re faced with the daunting realization that perhaps Emmet’s quest was not just one of a madman and that there really is something magical hidden in this largely uncharted region of the world.
All right, so we have the plot, the threats, and the stakes, but is it any good?
Actually, yes, it’s much better than it should be considering its formulaic nature.
It’s not as engaging as new shows like Alcatraz or mainstays like Fringe, but despite the shaky cam propensity during some of the scenes, the show has managed to deliver a good level of intrigue and creepiness and I’m honestly left wondering where it’s all going.
Currently, it’s slated for an eight episode season, half of which have already aired, but there’s been no word if it’ll be back next year.
In the meantime, I’ll gladly tune into ABC every Tuesday at 9 pm to find out what the Source actually is, why Emmet was so obsessed with it in the first place, and who Kurt is really working for and what they want with the Source.
So, if you have the chance tonight, flip on the telly and take a trip down The River and find out if there really is “magic all around us…”
Clik here to view.
For about a month, I had been seeing obscure previews for a little show that was coming to ABC called The River.I had no idea what it was about, who was in it, and at least six times I couldn’t even tell what the hell time it was going to be on, but score one for advertising because I sure wanted to find out the answers.
| Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.  |
I’ve seen this commercial 200 times since the Super Bowl and still think it’s advertising boobs. |
As intrigued as I was, I was a little worried at the big deal being made about it coming from some of the creators of Paranormal Activity because when I hear things like that I automatically think of shaky cameras, unclear images, and “scares” consisting of something randomly jumping in front of the screen.
And a bunch of 14 year old girls screaming.
I didn’t care for the Blair Witch Project, and Paranormal Activity was about as scary as an episode of Dora the Explorer.
Shakiness and confusion aren’t horror. They’re symptoms of epilepsy.
But, still, I had nothing better to do on a Tuesday night because, let’s face it, I’ve got no life to speak of, and I tuned in to watch the two hour premiere.
| Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.  |
OK, so I’ve surmised it’s got something to do with a river of some sort… |
The River follows the search for Dr. Emmet Cole, the host of a reality nature show that disappeared with his crew while on a secretive expedition on the Amazon River.
Led by his estranged wife and son, Tess and Lincoln, a new crew is assembled by the network that aired his The Undiscovered Country and sent to get answers behind his disappearance.
Naturally, that’s easier said than done as they uncover a lot more than they bargained for and find out that Emmet’s mission involved finding the source of all magic.
And before you continue, it’s my mission to remind you that SPOILER WARNINGS are in full effect from this point on.
| Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.  |
You’ve been warned. Now don’t go crying about spoiler. |
Utilizing a combination of the same types of filming techniques as Paranormal Activity—shaky first person shots, grainy camcorder footage, and static surveillance cameras—and standard television, The River goes for that “lost footage” realism as the new crew discovers the abandoned boat Emmet used to broadcast from and decides to set up shop.
The crew itself is stocked with the staples you’d expect of a show of this nature—the dutiful wife, the reluctant hero, the tough guy, the pretty girl, the superstitious foreigners, the wisecracking cameraman, and the cocky asshat—but they play off one another well enough for it work.
Emmet Cole wasn’t exactly the father and husband of the year the public had seen on his reality show and behind the scenes he developed an obsession with magic, alienating his family and friends before disappearing into the jungle.
| Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.  |
Because stable guys follow luminescent butterflies through the wild… |
Reviewing video tapes that Emmet left behind, Lincoln and company head through the Amazon only to encounter deadly spirits, legendary monsters, and lost tribes intent on keeping the Source a secret to outsiders.
The show itself has taken on a very X-Files monster of the week feel thus far, with the overarching theme of finding Emmet Cole playing against the backdrop of a new menace each week.
Along the way, revelations about Emmet’s motivations, ulterior motives of some of the crew (I’m looking at you, Kurt), and the familial strife that affected Tess and Lincoln shape the decisions the crew makes, as they’re faced with the daunting realization that perhaps Emmet’s quest was not just one of a madman and that there really is something magical hidden in this largely uncharted region of the world.
| Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.  |
Rumors of Hoffa being the Source of all magic are not yet confirmed. |
All right, so we have the plot, the threats, and the stakes, but is it any good?
Actually, yes, it’s much better than it should be considering its formulaic nature.
It’s not as engaging as new shows like Alcatraz or mainstays like Fringe, but despite the shaky cam propensity during some of the scenes, the show has managed to deliver a good level of intrigue and creepiness and I’m honestly left wondering where it’s all going.
Currently, it’s slated for an eight episode season, half of which have already aired, but there’s been no word if it’ll be back next year.
In the meantime, I’ll gladly tune into ABC every Tuesday at 9 pm to find out what the Source actually is, why Emmet was so obsessed with it in the first place, and who Kurt is really working for and what they want with the Source.
So, if you have the chance tonight, flip on the telly and take a trip down The River and find out if there really is “magic all around us…”
| Image may be NSFW. Clik here to view.  |
But make sure you tune in on time. They can’t hold these poses indefinitely. |
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Image may be NSFW.
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Image may be NSFW.
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