I understand the need to fall asleep next to someone you love. There's a certain feeling of safeness and contentment about it and, when it's gone, it makes getting through the night pretty tough. But the human need for contact is strong and so we seek out comfort where we can find it, whether that is through hiring someone to be naked with us for a few hours, or investing our hard earned cash into a pillow shaped like a woman's lap.
Wait, what?
Yes, thanks to the brilliant pornographically-inspired minds of the Japanese, you can purchase your very own Lady Lap to snooze away on (and pick the color skirt too!).
Now, I'm not going to judge anyone who desires to snooze on the lower-half of a Polyurethane lady, because when you are that person, you are probably at a point in your life when the loneliness has so thoroughly taken hold of you that you are in need of some serious mental help.
So please, let me know what I can do to get you through this trying time...hell, I'll even spoon with you for a few hours just to keep you from making this purchase.
No seriously, put down your debit card. You're better than this.
I'm calling the doctors right now....stay with me!
Source: PSFK