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| Artwork By Deviant Ollam |
Last week I accidentally locked myself out of my house while my husband was across the country and I had to make a decision concerning my desire to be inside where my pants were (I had let my dog out to do "his business" and the door shut behind me sans leg coverings). Do I go ahead and break a window, thus having to replace it with money that would usually be ear marked for food and bills, or do I throw caution to the wind and walk over in my underpants to my neighbor's house and call a locksmith?
Needless to say, I went with replacing the window (my neighbor is in his 80s and it might have killed him to see me in Wonder Woman adult Underoos) and, even though it was highly satisfactory to smash in a window with a rock, I would rather be able to use some kind of skill that would allow me to handle a future situation similar to this one without wasting money I had hoped to use on Ben and Jerry's ice cream.
Enter this manifesto called The M.I.T Guide to Lockpicking by Ted the Tool (dated 1991) that goes into minute detail on lock picking that could only be written by a guy attending some uber school without access to more than ten girls.
Download and print it out for emergencies...and by emergencies I mean finding yourself outdoors, partially nude, without your consent or if you need to get into a locked house during a zombie apocalypse.