Back in the day when you wanted to induce a panic attack in a ten year-old you gave them a set of Choose-Your-Own-Adventure books and wished them well. The premise being that said kid would read through the various chapters and have to choose between two paths (and then turn to a specific page indicated at the bottom of the page) in order to find out if their choice lead to victory or death.
The result being that such stress induced within the kid would trigger an emotional and mental breakdown causing them to be found in a corner someplace, balled up into the fetal position moaning about how they "...should have chosen to go to the waterfall instead".
Ahh, I miss those days.
While these books were geared toward the tween/young teen set, there's no reason not to bring the stories back to a nostalgic group of adults who long to make choices that don't end up in financial ruin.
And what better introduction to an adult-oriented Choose-Your-Own Adventure series than the flick Cabin in the Woods which seems tailor-made for such a book.
I mean, who didn't want to see just a few of those evil-tainted basement objects play out in mass murder (I physically ache to see what the ballerina with the facehole filled with teeth could do with Marty) or to follow along a path of unadulterated carnage brought upon by a unicorn?
Dammit! I want to know more!
Which is why artist Alice Lin's amazingly awesome ode to the movie/kid's book series should create a demand of the Choose-Your-Own-Adventure format so that those of us who grew up wondering what our life would be like if we DID choose to go to the waterfall might be able to re-live a moment in time when we were young and innocent...and could die at the hands of a merman.
I'm just saying.
Source: Cinema Blend
