In this week’s episode of the We’re Running Out of Things to Do With Lana to Try and Get You to Like Her Show, Lana Lang gets the same powers as Clark for a while resulting in hijinx and earthquake inducing sexual exploits.
No, you totally read that correctly.
Earthquake inducing sexual exploits. Oh boy.
The Random:
1. Lana’s first idea after getting powers like Clark is to have unbridled rough sex…that the entire town can feel. Kinky little mynx, no? But then she moves down the list to breaking and entering, theft, assault and battery, and all around crazypants activities.
2. Poor Chloe has had to watch Clark pine over Lana forever, then finds someone herself, gets dumped, and now has to hear about wild his Kryptonian sexcapades. That’s an awkward situation if ever there was one.
3. Lois, if you want to be an investigative reporter, you may want to start by realizing your boss acts all shady every single time you mention investigating the Luthors. You think perhaps there’s something to that, Lois..? Or, you know, you can just sleep with him. Whichever.
The Awesome:
1. It is actually kind of fun watching Lana adjust to getting Clark’s powers and seeing how they change her, showing how absolute power does indeed corrupt absolutely.
2. Clark goes to Lionel for some help with Super Lana, and Lionel gives it to him straight that Lana’s batcrap insane and keeping secrets. Thank you, Lionel. It’s about time someone smacked those rose colored glasses off his face. And just in case he didn’t get the message, Lex showed up to tell him some more.
3. Lex’s little project at first doesn’t seem like a whole lot…until you realize he’s got the same substance in his possession that we saw form into one Milton Fine, aka Brainiac. And it’s active, and sentient. Guess who’s coming to dinner soon enough, folks?
No, you totally read that correctly.
Earthquake inducing sexual exploits. Oh boy.
The Random:
1. Lana’s first idea after getting powers like Clark is to have unbridled rough sex…that the entire town can feel. Kinky little mynx, no? But then she moves down the list to breaking and entering, theft, assault and battery, and all around crazypants activities.
2. Poor Chloe has had to watch Clark pine over Lana forever, then finds someone herself, gets dumped, and now has to hear about wild his Kryptonian sexcapades. That’s an awkward situation if ever there was one.
3. Lois, if you want to be an investigative reporter, you may want to start by realizing your boss acts all shady every single time you mention investigating the Luthors. You think perhaps there’s something to that, Lois..? Or, you know, you can just sleep with him. Whichever.
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“Hey! I’m got superpowers! So, uh, wanna screw?”
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The Awesome:
1. It is actually kind of fun watching Lana adjust to getting Clark’s powers and seeing how they change her, showing how absolute power does indeed corrupt absolutely.
2. Clark goes to Lionel for some help with Super Lana, and Lionel gives it to him straight that Lana’s batcrap insane and keeping secrets. Thank you, Lionel. It’s about time someone smacked those rose colored glasses off his face. And just in case he didn’t get the message, Lex showed up to tell him some more.
3. Lex’s little project at first doesn’t seem like a whole lot…until you realize he’s got the same substance in his possession that we saw form into one Milton Fine, aka Brainiac. And it’s active, and sentient. Guess who’s coming to dinner soon enough, folks?
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Well, it’s either Brainiac, or we’re crossing over with Marvel and it’s Venom.
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The WTF?!:
1. Clark gives Lana a huge romantic afternoon of champagne, truffles, and horseback riding…and she automatically gets suspicious that there’s an ulterior motive. Seriously, Lana, do you get why no one likes you? Do you? Because I do.
2. Lana has a Sliver type set up of cameras to spy on the Luthor Mansion and then busts on in to steal a Kryptonian artifact from Lex…with all the stealth of a bull in a china shop not thinking for a second that maybe, just maybe, Lex has security cameras in his own house.
3. OK. Remember when Lana inexplicably learned 10th degree black belt martial arts skills after an hour long lesson with Lex? And then used them to become a ninja possessed by an ancient witch? Well, now she’s using them in conjunction with Kryptonian abilities in a really bad fight scene that may have been a deleted scene from her Street Fighter abomination.
1. Clark gives Lana a huge romantic afternoon of champagne, truffles, and horseback riding…and she automatically gets suspicious that there’s an ulterior motive. Seriously, Lana, do you get why no one likes you? Do you? Because I do.
2. Lana has a Sliver type set up of cameras to spy on the Luthor Mansion and then busts on in to steal a Kryptonian artifact from Lex…with all the stealth of a bull in a china shop not thinking for a second that maybe, just maybe, Lex has security cameras in his own house.
3. OK. Remember when Lana inexplicably learned 10th degree black belt martial arts skills after an hour long lesson with Lex? And then used them to become a ninja possessed by an ancient witch? Well, now she’s using them in conjunction with Kryptonian abilities in a really bad fight scene that may have been a deleted scene from her Street Fighter abomination.
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“Don’t mess with me, Lex. I played Chun Li. I’m a stone cold killer.”
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