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Go Inside TIM BURTON's Mind With These Character Posters From Frankenweenie

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Frankenweenie is the stop motion adaptation that Tim Burton has been working on. Based on his own live action short from quite a while ago, the story focuses on a kid who brings his pet dog back to life after the animal is hit by a car.  Today we have a full set of character posters and a few notes about each of the major characters.


BOB’S MOM (Conchata Ferrell)                      BOB (voiced by Robert Capron)
A plump, suburban housewife who is                A momma’s boy who is  agreeable,never
prone to panic and hysteria when things          mean-spirited, but easily led and gullible.
go awry. She believes her actions are in          He follows Toshiaki mostly, but runs to
Bob's best interest.                                           Victor if there is any trouble.
         
           ELSA VAN HELSING (Winona Ryder)           MR. & MRS. FRANKENSTEIN

           A classmate to Victor and niece of Mayor       (Catherine O’Hara & Martin Short)
           Burgemeister. She is the owner of                  Mr. is a travel agent, known for being friendly
           Persephone. She is the only one that              and social. He wants his son to make some
           truly knows that Victor is feeling                     friends.
                                                                                     Mrs. Frankenstein is supportive and loving
                                                                                     of her family and loves books also.


         
          Persephone                                                       Sparky
           A perfect poodle who is curious and                A devoted, curious, and playful dog who
           flirtatious with Sparky. She is very loyal         enjoys chasing balls and starring in the
           to Elsa, her owner.                                           home movies of Victor.


         TOSHIAKI (James Hiroyuki Liao)                  Victor (Charlie Tahan)
           A power-hungry, mad scientist, who is            Clever and industrious, inspired by science.
           competitive with Victor and even steals         His love of science and film inspires him to
           his ideas.                                                          bring Sparky back to life after he is killed in
                                                                                     a car accident.




Jesus Is Ready For The Big Screen Again with PAUL VERHOEVEN

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Aronofsky has Noah, and Spielberg and Scott are working on Moses projects, but what about Jesus? True, he's already had quite a few movies, but now Chris Hanley is signed on to develop a new project about the holy man of Nazareth.

With titles like American Psycho in his past, Hanley is developing the project basing the story on Paul Verhoeven's Jesus of Nazareth, Verhoeven is also set to direct the film. Roger Avary will be scripting the film, his largest credit comes from Pulp Fiction which he won an Oscar for Best Original Script with Quentin Tarantino.

The project is sure to be controversial, especially since this telling will get rid of all of the miracles that Verhoeven doesn't believe ever happened. He also has the theory that Jesus might be the product of his mother being raped by a Roman soldier. I'm pretty sure there won't be many Christians interested in that idea.

In addition those theories, there is also his idea that Jesus was "a radical prophet who performed exorcisms and was convinced he would find the kingdom of Heaven on earth." That has made funding difficult to find and that fact that he wants to make the opposite of The Passion Of The Christ and focus more on what Christ preached and thought.

“If you look at the man, it’s clear you have a person who was completely innovative in the field of ethics,” Verhoeven told me last year. “My own passion for Jesus came when I started to realize that. It’s not about miracles, it’s about a new set of ethics, an openness towards the world, which was anathema in a Roman-dominated world. I believe he was crucified because they felt that politically, he was a dangerous person whose following was getting bigger and bigger. Jesus’ ideals are about the utopia of human behavior, about how we should treat each other, how we should step into the shoes of our enemy.”

There are many that would say Verhoeven's ideas are blasphemous, but there may be a way he can balance to two and appeal to a very wide audience. I'm not sure how he'll do it, but making a gritty, controversial independent film may be the best way to start.


You Might Want To Rewind This V/H/S Trailer Just So You Can Watch It Again

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V/H/S is an anthology of found-footage horror from directors like Ti West, Adam Wingard, and Simon Berrett. You can watch the first trailer for the movie right here.

The story follows a group of criminals as they search for a piece of found footage from a rundown house. When they find a mountain of tapes surrounding a body, they watch the horrifying videos which become increasingly more strange. 

The red-band trailer, features a little bit of work from each of the five vignettes which are tied together with a story that winds through the whole movie. Many of the stories were written by their respective filmmakers. It has gore, nudity, action, and drama, so it has received the red-band for its first trailer.

The movie premiered at Sundance this year, and will hit theaters on November 1st, 2012.





Don't Let The Trailer For HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA Scare You

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Hotel Transylvania is allowing just a few humans to watch the first trailer from the animated comedy that stars many of the classic horror monsters.

With Vampires, Frankensteins, Mummies, Wolfmen, and more, the new extended trailer shows us a look at the Adam Sandler, Andy Samberg flick which also has names like Selina Gomez, Steve Buscemi, Kevin James, and Cee-Lo Green in the cast. Cartoon big name director Genndy Tartakovksy is taking the helm on the project which has industry heads talking about the attention to detail in the animation and the timing of the gags.



MICHAEL BAY Is Not Rebooting TRANSFORMERS, He's Just Switching Directions

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Since we first heard there was going to be a fourth installment in Michael Bay's Transformers franchise, we've wanted to know what was going on. First it was said it would be a remake, then it was said it was going to be reboot, but now the man himself is saying those are both wrong and that the next film will chronologically follow the previous films, but use different characters.

Here's what he said directly in his talk with LA Times.
It’s not a reboot, that’s maybe the wrong word. I don’t want to say reboot because then people will think we’re doing a Spider-Man and starting from the beginning. We’re not. We’re taking the story that you’ve seen — the story we’ve told in three movies already — and we’re taking it in a new direction. But we’re leaving those three as the history. It all still counts. I met with the writer before I went off to do ‘Pain and Gain’ and we talked about a bunch of ideas. We let that simmer for a bit. He’s been thinking about stuff and now we’re getting back together next week to see what we’ve got and to see if it gels.

Bay says this will be the last one in the series, but he also said the same thing last year when he was talking about Dark of the Moon. Bay has also said that while the next movie could happen in space, he doesn't "want to go too sci-fi." Meanwhile I was thinking this entire time that Transformers was sci-fi, guess I was wrong.

Production hasn't started yet, he's looking for a way to cut the budget by around $30 million meaning that it would only use a $160 million. Bay may take some time after recently wrapping Pain & Gain before he picks up this new project.


THE BOOB TUBE: TRICIA HELFER Joins TRON UPRISING, First Looks At TMNT And DEXTER, Two More POLITICAL ANIMALS, And JON MICHAEL HILL Is An ELEMENTARY Detective

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TRICIA HELFER Is Voicing Multiple Roles On TRON: UPRISING


The new series Tron:Uprising on Disney XD is actually pretty cool, and there may be some voices that you already know. Tricia Helfer, you may know her as Number Six from Battlestar Galactica,  actually has two voices in the series based on the movies both old and new. Helfer plays a computer on the animated series along with being the voice of the entire virtual land known as The Grid. In the past she has also voice roles in video games like EDI in Mass Effect

DAVID MONAHAN And BLAIR BROWN Are Added To The Cast Of POLITICAL ANIMALS

Greg Berlanti and Laurence Marc have been running their newest show Political Animals, and today they have added a few more additions to the cast. David Monahan will be playing a closeted Republican Congressman and will show up during the fourth episode.

Blair Brown will be playing a potentially recurring role as Susan Berg's mother Barbara. She will see her first appearance in episode 5. The latest guest casting includes names like Vanessa Redgrave. The main regular cast includes Sigourney Weaver in the lead role

Political Animals launches July 15 at 10 p.m. on USA.

JON MICHAEL HILL Moves From DETROIT 187 To ELEMENTARY

Detroit 187 was canceled just a few episodes after it was started, but now Jon Michael Hill has a new job on Elementary. The recurring role is not really really described more than just "a detective." Jonny Lee Miller will be playing the British Sherlock Holmes with Lucy Liu taking on the role of Watson.

What's Going On With Dexter Next Season

The last season of Dexter ended with Deb finding out what her brother really does, now we'll see just how that situation pans out when the seventh season of the show stars on September 30th, for now we can just watch this short trailer of the serial killer as he thinks about what has happened.





Nickelodeon Rolls Out A Promo For TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES

Paramount has been trying to bring back the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in a live action movie project that's now just Ninja Turtles. That project has been delayed for a while, but Nickelodeon is picking up the slack with their latest animated project which gives us a first trailer today.




LIAM NEESON Didn't Lose Any Of His Specific Skills For TAKEN 2

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Liam Neeson returns for Taken 2, this time he's in a whole different country and there are people chasing him this time.

When Neeson's character is traveling in Turkey with his family, he is actually being watched and followed by a man working for the father of one of men he killed in the first movie. The bad guys are really out to get him this time, but when his wife is taken, he gets to do what he does best and kill a few people. Maggie Grace and Famke Janssen star as his daughter and wife, respectively.



Smallville: Random, Awesome and WTF?! - S6E6: Fallout

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Clark meets up with his Phantom Zone hottie, Raya, and he’s forced to battle another deadly threat from the Zone, played by the rapper known as Bow Wow.

At the Luthor mansion, Lex and Lana continue to engage solidifying the cornerstones to any healthy romantic relationship—distrust and dishonesty.

The Random:
1. Sure, a Phantom Zone criminal melting an innocent guy on the streets of Oakland is bad, but let’s face it—that’s not the worst thing to happen on those streets on a Thursday.

2. Jimmy goes to Chloe with a hot story, based solely on ambiguous pictures of a meeting that he has absolutely zero ideas about and thinks that’s enough.  He’s got no proof or anything, no leads, nothing.  Yup.  He’s ready to work for any one of our major news networks.

3. Gee, I’m shocked.  Raya, potential love interest who knows all of Clark’s secrets, is killed off and dies in his arms.  I can hardly contain my surprise.

More basketball games than not end up like this in Oakland…

The Awesome:
1. Raya does a good job of peeling back some of the mystique of what Jor El was really like and trying to set him on the right path to make sure what happened to Krypton doesn’t happen to Earth.  And she’s not afraid to basically tell him to just man up and own his destiny.

2. All right, so Jimmy didn’t make the best move confronting Lex, but he gets props for tipping Chloe off that Lex still has Brainiac’s power source…even though he thinks it means Lex is working with the Egyptians.  Sigh.

3. Clark having actual supervillains to fight that aren’t just freaks of the week gives a nice hint of what’s to come in his career and Raya’s death at the hand of Phantom Bow Wow seems to be the final push he needs to finally realize he can’t just lead a normal life after all.  Even the Fortress glows in delight.

Apparently, a fresh blood sacrifice was all the Fortress needed
to come back online after all.

The WTF?!:
1. Jimmy may be sweet and all, but he’s dumb as a bag of hammers.  Did he really just waltz into Lex’s office with a camera and flat out accuse him of wrongdoing and think it would go over well?  I gotta see if he comes back, so Lex can make good on his threat to toss him out of a window next time.

2. Lana seems to have no motive for screwing with Lex except just being bored.  Get a job or something and stop just being a dick for dick’s sake already.

3. Not for nothing, but Bow Wow went off the grid for SIX weeks and no one seems to have been concerned enough to look for him.  We get no word of missing posters, family being worried about his wellbeing, none of that.  Even Clark doesn’t bother asking him about how he’s getting back to California when he finally wakes up.  That’s just good caring.

“No, this won’t come back to bite me in the ass at all, no sir.
I am so smart.  S-M-R-T…”



THE METAL MEN Will Fight Evil Under Barry Sonnenfeld

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Barry Sonnenfeld has said that's he's going to be working on a comic book project, but just what is it? Well today we can tell you that the Men in Black 3 director is signed on to helm the DC Comics title The Metal Men.

The comic series from the sixties follows six cyborgs, Gold, Iron, Lead, Mercury, Tin, and Platinum, that were created by an expert on artificial-intelligence. Each of the cyborgs has talents that relate to their places on the periodic table.

Gold is the leader and can protect, Iron is the strongman, Lead protects them all, Mercury is a risk-taker and can melt to fit in tiny places, Platinum is the female of the gang and although she has the ability to flatten herself completely, she believes that she is a real woman and won't listen to anyone saying otherwise.  Tin doesn't really do much of anything though.

Maybe Sonnenfeld can find a new sort of power for him


MY TOP 5: Environmentalism Themed Films

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Let's put our heads together, start a new country up,
Underneath the river bed we burned the river down
This is where they walked, swam, hunted, danced and sang,
Take a picture here, take a souvenir
--"Cuyahoga" REM

On this day in 1969, the Cuyahoga River in Ohio burned for the third or fourth time. It was the smallest of the river fires, but it was enough to start up a movement that is still going today.

So far, the Environmental Movement has managed to start a government agency and turn the tides of elections. It's even managed to make a few bucks in the world of movies.

PRINCESS MONONOKE (1997)
Written and Directed by Hayao Miyazaki





Miyazaki and his Studio Ghibli are known for their environmental messages wrapped in amazing visuals and moving stories. (See also Castle In The Sky and Nausicaa Of The Valley Of The Wind.) Princess Mononoke, though, takes these stories to the next level where nature starts actually fighting back.

It's almost a Tarzan story with a girl names San, who was raised by wolves in the forest. She tries to help Ashitaka, a young man who was cursed when he fought a large boar. He travels into the forest, finding Iron Town.

The people of Iron Town are waging a war with the forest to procure its resources. Unfortunately, they've also unleashed a seemingly evil spirit by killing the boar god that protected the forest. Iron Town isn't all bad, though, because it's where the outcasts of Japan go to live normal lives. So what's a guy to do? Go off with the wolf girl, of course!

Princess Mononoke is a complex film that challenges a lot of peoples' notions about anime. It's also the first Ghibli film that's not really for kids, although it's not so violent that kids couldn't watch it. Definitely one of the peaks of a studio with no real valleys.


STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME (1986)
Written by Leonard Nimoy, Harve Bennett, Steve Meerson, Peter Krikes, Nicholas Meyer
Based on series created by Gene Roddenberry
Directed by Leonard Nimoy




Yep. That's right. I'm putting the one with the whales on here. It doesn't have the gravitas of The Wrath Of Khan or the great mystery of The Undiscovered Country, but it's a great way to end the trilogy that starts with Khan.

The film starts with the crew getting home from their adventures with the Genesis Project only to find out that an alien probe is destroying everything in its path. When they figure out that the probe is speaking Whale, it's off to the mid-80s!

Yeah, it's a silly "fish out of water" sci-fi flick…but it's characters that we know and love having another adventure like they had in the old days. It's not epic (although, it is a "fate of the world" story). It's nothing but a really fun movie. It also happens to have a message about destroying nature. After all, the thing that we kill today could have saved our lives tomorrow. "To hunt a species to extinction is not logical."

By the way, I'm not down with these 80s trailers that show you THE WHOLE MOVIE in two minutes.


WALL-E (2008)
Written by Andrew Stanton, Pete Doctor, Jim Reardon
Directed by Andrew Stanton




Two weeks in a row, I know. But when this movie doesn't fit, I'll stop including it. WALL-E's world has been destroyed by trash.

In fact, that's all it is these days. He and his robot friends are there to clean it all up so that the humans can come back. Unfortunately, he's the last of the trash-bots. When he's visited by EVE, a sleek robot that drops out of the sky, he falls instantly in love. ("How," you ask? "He's a robot!" Sshhh!) Now he has to win her "heart" AND figure out how to get the humans to realize that they need to actually move about instead of being completely sedentary. The future according to WALL-E is unfortunately not too far off.

Sure, we're not floating around in Future Rascals just yet, but we do seem to be doing as much as possible to just sit in a chair all day, having things come to us instead of leaving the house to go get things.


CHINATOWN (1974)
Written by Robert Towne/Roman Polanski
Directed by Roman Polanski




When you think of this, one of the most perfect films ever made, you don't immediately think "environmentalists!" You usually think nose cutting, or one of Jack Nicholson's best performances ever, or Faye Dunaway looking perfectly "of the period."

But really, this film is all about water and how the control of it basically can make or break a city. Jake Gittes (Nicholson) is just asked to find out if Evelyn Mulwray's (Dunaway) husband is cheating on her. That leads to him getting caught up in a scandal involving murder, incest and, of course, water. If you haven't seen this movie, go rent it right now.

It is absolutely a touchstone of film and, while not an "environmental film" per se, it does bring up the politics that fire the decisions made about these issues.


CHILDREN OF MEN (2006)
Written by Alfonso Cuaron, Timothy J Sexton, David Arata, Mark Fergus, Hawk Ostby
Based on book by PD James
Directed by Alfonso Cuaron




This vision of a future where women are a rocky place where mens' seed can find no purchase is more frightening than just about any horror film made in the last ten years.

Theo (Clive Owen) is tasked with finding and protecting a young woman who has, through some freak of nature, become pregnant. Could she be the last hope for a dying species? Or is she actually just a one-off? The world that Cuaron creates by loosely adapting James' novel is certainly a warning of what might come if we keep pulling all of the resources out of the Earth.

No, we may not become barren (although, who knows?), but the economic and societal chaos that ensues from that ecological tragedy could come from any number of environmental issues in our own world. Imagine if we don't have an alternative fuel source and we suddenly run out of oil.

Where do you think we'll be?


FOG! Exclusive! Watch An Exclusive Clip From

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Ray, a 14-year-old who lives with his mom and granddad, has been recruited by the Duel Masters to study Kaijudo: The Way of the Creature. They chose Ray for his natural talent as a creature tamer and duelist. Along with pals Allie and Gabe, Ray learns to work with the magical creatures ... in their world. Each duel he fights yields new experience and allies in both worlds. The Veil, which has divided the two worlds for a thousand years, is crumbling. Hope lies with those who can master the art of Kaijudo.
We're proud to present an exclusive clip from an all new episode of Kaijudo: Rise of the Duel Masters that airs this Saturday at 8 PM EST on The Hub!






In this week's episode, "Om Nom Nom", the kids must track and banish a small creature back to its realm. But when the Choten mutates the creature and it starts to duplicate itself, things get complicated. Meanwhile, Gabe has problems controlling his new primary creature, Gargle.







The Long Read

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Books come in all shapes and sizes and most importantly, in various lengths.

A variety of authors write and publish a variety books with a variety of page numbers. Some are small and seemingly pathetic 200-page novellas, some are your average 300-400 page-turners, and then there are those special authors that like to write those 800-1000 page behemoths.

 Now, mind you, books will vary in length depending on genre: children’s books will usually be within that 200-page mark, young adult pushes it to 300 (unless you’re Harry Potter!), mysteries tend to be in the 300-400 page range, and a number of fantasy authors like to write those really long ones.

This column is about those special heavy tomes.

In the last couple of years there have been a number of these long books published by a variety of authors in various genres, and I’ve read a fair number of them and they’ve all been pretty good.

So if you’re looking for that long 800-1000 pager to get sucked into, check out the titles below.

11/22/63 by Stephen King (849 pages)


Jake Epping is a thirty-five year old high school teacher living in Lisbon Falls, Maine. He enjoys his simple life, conveying to kids not just the beauty of the English language, but discussing and enlightening the teenagers with some of the great works of literature.

In the opening of 11/22/63, the reader learns about Harry Dunning’s past life. Dunning is an adult student who got his high school diploma a while ago; Jake still has that very special essay Dunning wrote. It wasn’t grammatically correct, and was filled with spelling errors; but it was also the story of the day Dunning’s father came home drunk, when he was a child, and brutally murdered his mother, sister and brother with a hammer, while Dunning barely made it out alive with his life, suffering a smashed leg.

It was a moving story that Jake has never forgotten.

He enjoys his days after school going to see his friend Al, who owns a local diner, where he enjoys one of the most delicious burgers on the planet, and the amazing thing about it is he hasn’t raised his prices in decades. A customer can still enjoy a burger with fries for the ridiculously cheap price of under $3. It seems like something Jake should be suspicious about, but the burgers taste too damn good. The following day Jake meets up with Al again and finds him to be a changed man, incredibly aged overnight and he looks like he’s dying; that’s when Al tells him his story.

In the back of his diner is a portal to 1958.

Al himself has been back a number of times, and each time he comes back through it to the present, everything resets. He’s narrowed everything down to one important event he believes will change everything: the assassination of JFK. He tried once, spending five years back then, but it didn’t work. Now it’s up to Jake. And just to prove that anything is possible, Jake’s first mission is going to be to go back and stop Dunning’s father from killing his family.


Wise Man’s Fear by Patrick Rothfuss (1008 pages)


Readers are returned first to Kote at the Waystone Inn with his friend and apprentice, Bast. A new day begins, after the stories and surprising events of the one before. Chronicler sits ready to record the story, while Kote has already been up many hours, preparing fresh cider and newly baked bread. And so Kote continues the story of his life, the story of Kvothe the arcanist.

The sixteen year-old continues his studies at the University, struggling to get by. He has spent his recently acquired monies on a new lute and now has little to show for it, but the instrument is an investment. Now raised to the next level of arcanist, Re’lar, his tuition is considerably higher, and his must borrow money to pay for it. Fortunately, he has his incredible talent as a musician and singer, and is able to make some money this way through a clever scheme at the inns.

Then there is the Fishery, where all manner of arcana are made. Kvothe has spent previous terms learning and inventing simple items such as sympathy lamps that bring in a decent amount of money, but this term he is challenged to create something truly unique; it will take him many months, but the result will fetch a high price.

Kvothe is also finally granted access to the priceless Archives once more, and after learning how to travel its complex, labyrinthine halls, corridors and stacks; begins his incessant research on the unknown Chandrian, for they are the ones who murdered his family and friends.

Meanwhile, Kvothe’s relationship with Deanna continues to go nowhere fast, as he does all he can to make her happy and feel special . . . everything that is except confess his love for her. He even breaks into the rooms of his mortal enemy to steal back Deanna’s ring and proceeds to get himself into a whole mess of trouble.

At the end of the term, Kvothe seems to have everything in order, but has a couple of options: he can continue with his studies the following the semester, and risk having the gossip of his involvement jeopardize his studies; or he can leave town and try something different for a while. Fortunately at that moment, there is a rich noble from Vintas looking to woo a certain lady and needs one skilled with words. So begins the second half of the book, as Kvothe is soon on his way and finds himself involved in the noble courts, as a different world is revealed to the reader of manners and ways and courtly intrigue. Kvothe is also employed into a gang to stop a band of bandits terrorizing the tax collectors. In this gang he befriends a unique man and seeks to learn his ways and culture.

The question is whether he can understand and learn this man’s language, as well as stop these bandits once and for all. Meanwhile, in the back of his mind, Kvothe wonders and hopes if the rich noble who has employed him may wish to take him on permanently as his patron.

A Dance with Dragons by George R. R. Martin (1040 pages)


In the North, around the Wall, King Stannis Baratheon seems to spend a lot of time trying to decide what to do with no real power or army to use, while listening to Lady Melisandre, who continues to spout enigmatic prophecies that make little sense; yet readers do get to enjoy a chapter from her viewpoint for the first time.

Meanwhile, Jon Snow is elected as the 998th Lord Commander of the Night’s Watch, as he must deal with not just enemies beyond the Wall, but also amongst the very men he leads and is in charge of. He works with the wildlings, bringing them south of the wall to bolster his forces in preparation for a possible attack from the Others; it seems to be an interesting act of diplomacy, but goes on for far too many pages, with little action or continuing story taking place.

Much of the rest of the book takes place to the far East.

Martin has provided a couple of new maps, but nothing so clearly defined and comprehensible as the great continent of Westeros. Tyrion flees to Pentos, drowning himself in wine. He is forced to join with a group traveling to Meereen, along with the apparently not so dead prince Aegon Targaryen. Tyrion – as he always does – manages to get involved in a whole variety of adventures, including the meeting of another dwarf, and a female no less!

Daenerys is the character that seems most put through the ringer in this book; much like Cercei was in A Feast for Crows.

She is no longer the tough, proud, defiant woman that everyone feared, and not just because she has three growing dragons. Having conquered Meereen, she should be the unstoppable, unquestionable queen that she is, and yet insurrection is afoot and Daenerys cannot seem to decide what to do; perhaps it is because she has become obsessed and besotted with one of her soldiers and seems to be able to think of little else when he is nearby, and yet he is of lower class and cannot possibly be her husband.

The black dragon, Drogon, meanwhile is running rampant through the countryside as growing “teenage” dragons do, and Daenerys has no idea how to control him.

Finally there is Quentyn Martell, Prince of Dorne, whose story comes from nowhere as we follow his trek across the lands to Meereen, where he hopes to woo Daenerys by enslaving one of her dragons. It does not end well for him. Interspersed throughout the lengthy book are other POV chapters from the likes of Bran Stark, Davos Seaworth, Reek (who is in fact the very not dead Theon Greyjoy), Arya Stark, Victarion Greyjoy, as well as some surprise cameos from Jaime and Cercei Lannister.


Reamde by Neal Stephenson (1056 pages)


Richard Forthrast is our approaching-middle-age hero who is one of the big brains behind the multi-billion dollar MMO, T’Rain, which is known throughout the world, whether you’re a rich white kid who likes to pretend he’s an elf, or a gold farmer somewhere in Asia looking to make some good money.

T’Rain was in fact created with that in mind – Richard’s past is not a completely clean one by any means – to be open and available and possibly profitable to just about anyone on the planet with a good Internet connection. And then a very specific virus attacks T’Rain, known as Reamde, which immediately begins making a lot of money for its creators and screwing over a lot of the regular players. Richard and his team of brainiacs are now working round the clock trying to bring a stop to this.

Meanwhile, one of Richard’s family members – Zula – originally from East Africa and adopted into the family as a young girl, was hired by Richard to work for T’Rain, and becomes involved in a really big problem when her boyfriend Peter – who happens to be a renowned hacker – is looking to make good money selling credit card numbers to a shady, unknown character. Things take a turn for the worse, when the Reamde virus hits and screws everything up for him. Before they know it, the Russian mafia is breaking down their door, kidnapping them, and taking them to Asia by private jet to find the perpetrators of the Reamde virus and get their revenge.

Reamde begins like an expected Stephenson book with computers and an MMO, but then makes a change to a Tom Clancy-style thriller, as the characters travel around the world, getting involved in elaborate shootouts in distant countries.

Eventually Islamic terrorist even get involve, as well as a member of MI6 who seems to appear from nowhere and gets a twenty page introduction. The crux of the book takes place towards the end of the first third of the book, in what Cory Doctorow calls “. . .an epic, 100+ page climactic mini-war.”

The ongoing saga eventually leads back to Seattle and the northwest, passing into Canada, where the novel began, pulling Richard Forthrast into the mix.


The Way of Kings by Brandon Sanderson (1008 pages)


Our story focuses on two characters.

One is Kaladin, a young man in his twenties who has seen much of life already. Raised by his surgeon father to become a brilliant doctor, he instead turns to the life of a warrior, with hopes of getting his hands on a Shardblade, and soon sees his fair share of death and bloodshed.

Now he is a slave, for reasons unknown, with little to hope for in life. He soon becomes a member of the bridge crew, a group of slaves whose job it is to carry a giant, heavy bridge across great distances and to lay it across the chasms to allow the soldiers to cross and attack the enemy. Kaladin becomes part of bridge team four, which is renowned for losing the most lives each time it races into battle. Kaladin finds a unique luck on his side, as he manages to continue to survive, and then chooses to work for his team, train them, create survival tactics for them, and he discovers something he thought he’d lost for good: hope and his will to live.

Then there is Shallan, a young woman whose family has fallen on hard times after the death of their father. The family is in possession of a Soulcaster, a unique magical device that can essentially create just about anything out of nothing, only now it is broken. However, Shallan has a plan: to become the ward and student for Jasnah Kolin, sister of King Elhokar of Althekar, with plans to replace Jasnah’s Soulcaster with her own; her only problem is she has no idea how to use it.

A number of interludes throughout the book help to introduce some minor characters to explore some more of this overwhelming world, such as Szeth-son-son-Vallano, who is an assassin from the land of Shinovar, possessing a unique magic to flip gravity around. And then there are the spren, which are spirits that seem to be caused by or drawn to specific happenstances and emotions, such as fear, pain, music, rot, and glory to name a few.

Little is known or understood of the spren, other than they exist, while Kaladin finds himself befriending a specific spren that seems to be evolving.



Under the Dome by Stephen King (1074 pages)


Imagine the quintessential American town – Chester Mills, Maine – where life has rolled along at its own sedate pace since the beginning of time; it is a simple life that many envy and yearn for, while others disregard and ridicule.

 Now imagine that an invisible dome forms around the boundaries of the town, trapping everyone and everything inside, as well as preventing anyone and anything from entering; all that is able to pass through is air since it’s composed of tiny molecules. From now on the humble citizens of Chester Mills must live off of whatever supplies and reserves they have.

Then add some classic, unique and outright bizarre Stephen King characters; you’ve got yourself a very special story, weighing in at over a thousand pages.

There’s Dale Barbara, an ex-military man who came to Chester Mills to get away from everything, working as a cook at Sweetbriar Rose. After getting into a serious fight with the town bullies – who include the sheriff’s son – he’s all set to quit town, but the dome comes down before he’s able to make his escape. Now he’s trapped inside with a whole mess of people who hate his guts and would sooner see him dead.

Jim Rennie – known as “Big Jim – is the town’s Second Selectman, a member of the three-member team that makes up the governing body for Chester Mills. Only Big Jim has everyone in his pocket, owning him favors, and he’s also been running an underground scheme that’s making him a very rich man. He thrives on power and being in charge, and when the dome comes down he thinks it’s the greatest thing in the world; his calling from God to take charge once and for all.

Julia Shumway is the editor, publisher, and devout writer for her very own Chester Mill’s Democrat, continuing the family business, and always looking for a great story and a way to reveal the true, seedy underbelly of Chester Mills that she knows exists. After Dome Day, she knows Jim Rennie is up to something and will stop at nothing to expose him for the fraud he is.

And 13-year-old Joe McClatchey, a good-looking nerd with all the answers, but he also has some important ideas about what exactly the dome is and what might’ve made it happen. While the town slowly devolves into pandemonium, he spends his time trying to find out the cause of it all.

Stephen King conceived this book, originally titled Cannibals, early on in his career, but was never satisfied with the story.

Now he has delivered the weighty tome of Under the Dome, where lines will be drawn, sides declared, alliances forged, and enemies and allies made.

Many people will die – which is no surprise for a King novel – but the wild thrill ride will keep you addictively reading, aching to find out how it all ends.




Cine-Geek Nuggets: President Charlie Sheen, 3 More Go Way, Way Back, The Thin Man Doesn't Make It And More!

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There are rumors that the Rob Marshall remake of The Thin Man might not be happening.  Apparently Warner Bros, which has recently cancelled several big projects during pre-production, isn't happy that a lead actress hadn't been found to star opposite Johnny Depp, who most recently starred in the WB's recent disappointing Dark Shadows.  Warner denies anything, claiming that the film had yet to be greenlit, or maybe, just maybe, they are realizing that Depp outside of a pirate film doesn't guarantee box office.


Legacies aren't anything new in politics.  John Adams and John Quincy Adams.  George Bush and George W. Bush.  The West Wing's Martin Sheen and now, Charlie SheenRobert Rodriguez has cast Charlie Sheen as The President of the United States in his upcoming Machete sequel, Machete Kills.  The film, which is currently in production stars Danny Trejo, Jessica Alba, Mel Gibson, Amber Heard, Sofia Vergara and Zoe Saldana.  #winning.


Casey Affleck will write and direct a bio pic based on the life of Josh Hamilton, the baseball player who went from being a crack addict to become the American League’s most feared slugger.


Academy Award screenwriters Nat Faxon and Jim Rash have finalized the cast for their directorial debut, The Way, Way Back with Maya Rudolph, Rob Corddry and Amanda Peet joining the ensemble.  The film is, "about a teenager (Liam James) who comes into his own during the summer through an unlikely friendship with a local water-park manager (Sam Rockwell). Toni Collette and Steve Carell co-star as the boy’s mother and her carousing boyfriend, and Faxon and Rash are playing a pair of waterpark employees."


Caleb Landry Jones has been cast in the futuristic world love story Broken Dreams.  Co-written (with Neil Jordan) and directed by John Boorman, the film is twenty years in the making and Jones will play a role originally intended for River Phoenix before he passed away.  John Hurt will portray Jones' character's father.


Cobie Smulders has signed on to two new pics which she will presumably film when her show, How I Met Your Mother, is on hiatus.  In Lasse Hallstrom's Safe Haven, Smulders will co-star with Josh Duhamel and Julianne Hough and play a neighbor in the story which, "follows a young woman whose arrival in a small North Carolina town prompts its tight-knit community to question her mysterious past."  She will play Paul Rudd's girlfriend in David Wain's They Came Together, which also stars Amy Poehler.


Max Minghella, who didn't invent Facebook in The Social Network, will co-star opposite Vince Vaughan and Owen Wilson in The Internship.  "Vaughn and Wilson play old school salesmen who, finding themselves suddenly unemployed and passed-by in the digital world, try to reinvent themselves by becoming interns at a major tech company.  Minghella is in talks to play a ruthlessly competitive intern who plans to sabotage the protags in order to land a coveted full-time job."


WTF FRIDAY: Mangina Panties, For Those Days When You Want to Experience Feminine Freshness

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Okay, where to begin...ahem...this flesh-colored undergarment is geared toward cross dressers and cosplay fans who are of the male persuasion who would like to experience the loveliness of sporting a gigantic quim that could house small dogs.

 Part of the appeal of these drawers is the accessible hole that you can either stick stuff into or pull stuff out of like a magician's top hat.

Now, as a chick with a well-worn, yet pleasantly comfortable crotch I have to criticize the over-all look of the panty vag.

First of all, the placement is all wrong. If women wore their lady parts this high up we'd have to pee laying down. Second, the hole is huge. Yes I know that babies can come out of it therefore it has the capability of becoming large but we don't walk around with it gaping open like a cave entrance. If we could, we would use it like a purse. And third, whoever sculpted the over-all look of the kitty obviously has never spent much time down there. It looks like a deformed pancake with a pocket for a butter pat.

 Personally, if I were a gentleman looking to sport a beaver dam, I would try shopping elsewhere for a fauxgina instead of plopping down $128 for a pair of '80s thigh-highs with a misshapen twat sewn on the front. But that's just me.

Source: Incredible Things


The Trailer For CELESTE AND JESSE FOREVER Proves Exes Can Be Friends

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Rashida Jones and Andy Samberg are getting a divorce, maybe...kinda...in a while...perhaps.

That's basically the premise of Celeste and Jesse Forever. The story follows a separated couple that started as best friends and want to keep that friendship even while they start looking at other relationships. But could it be that they really are meant for each other?

Lee Toland Krieger directs from a script that Jones created with Will McCormack. Along with Samberg and Jones in the lead roles, the film also has a part for McCormack, and they are joined by Emma Roberts, Chris Messina, Ari Graynor, and Elijah Wood.







Welcome To My Queue: Seven Worth Your Time

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With the weather on the East Coast scorching, here are seven solid recommendations that will keep you indoors while you crank your AC.

Fire up your queues, fill up your shopping cart and get ready for some solid entertainment.


John Carter
Walt Disney Home Video / Released June 5th, 2012


John Carter might be the worst marketed film of all time.  Epic in scope with excellent effects, this poorly received film never had a shot based on everything from the title (Hell, even call the film Barsoom) to the trailers and posters.  Even comparing it to Star Wars or Avatar was foolish instead of promoting it as their inspiration.  Taylor Kitsch does an admirable job (certainly on par with Mark Hamill or Sam Worthington), but more than anything else, director Andrew Stanton's execution of a grand pulp adventure is tremendous fun.  Extras include featurettes, commentary, deleted scenes.  Highly entertaining and family friendly, John Carter is a must see.  Recommended.


Goon
Magnolia Home Entertainment / Released May 29th, 2012


Seann William Scott is Doug Glatt, a simple guy in a successful family, who leverages his skills as a bouncer to become a hockey player like his hero, minor league goon Ross Rhea (Liev Schreiber).  Without any solid skating skills, but a strong punch and aptitude for pain, Glatt slowly becomes a sensation much to the delight of his best friend (co-writer Jay Baruchel).  Goon never got a wide release, which is a shame as it really is the successor to Slapshot; it's crude, violent and very funny, with an underlying sweet side.  It's really not hard to root for underdog Glatt as Scott delivers his best performance in his career.  Extras include commentary, outtakes/deleted scenes and film clips.  Goon is anchored by some solid performances, laughs, punches and heart.  Highly recommended.




Shallow Grave
Criterion Collection / Released June 12, 2012




Director Danny Boyle, producer Andrew Macdonald, writer John Hodge and actor Ewan McGregor in their first collaboration (they would go on to make A Life Less Ordinary and Trainspotting together) focuses on a pretentious set of flatmates who take on a fourth boarder, a criminal, who dies of an overdose on his first night leaving a mysterious bag full of money, which they decide to keep.  The disposing of the body and the money itself leads to trio to unparalleled levels of paranoia, jealousy, and distrust.  Shallow Grave also features excellent performances from Kerry Fox and Christopher Eccleston.  The Criterion edition is packed with extras including a trailer, two commentary tracks, interviews, a video diary, and a making of documentary.  Filled with dark humor, Shallow Grave is an intelligent thriller that is both unnerving and at times, shocking.  Highly recommended.


Superman Vs. The Elite
Warner Home Video /  Released June 12, 2012




Writer Joe Kelley adapts and expands his own story "What's So Funny About Truth, Justice and The American Way" from Action Comics #775, in the latest DC Universe Animated film which examines the possibility that Superman and his approach might be outdated.  

When a new group of British heroes, The Elite, arrive on the scene, they approach crimefighting through violence, ignoring all morals and values.  As a result, the general public begins to look at The Man of Steel as perhaps being less effective by not thinking that he is above the law.  The public wants their heroes to act, not react, a concept foreign to Superman, who believes in people and the good within them.  George Newbern returns to voice Superman in a fairly entertaining and Pauley Parrette voices Lois Lane with a vocal performance reminiscent of Margot Kidder.  Extras include featurettes,  digital comic, bonus episodes of Superman: The Animated Series and a fantastic extended look at the upcoming animated adaptation of The Dark Knight Returns.  Dealing with adult themes Superman Vs. The Elite is definitely not for children, but for teens and adults it offers some competing, but interesting arguments concerning society and The Man of Steel.  Recommended.




The Woman In Black
Sony/ Released May 22, 2012




A spooky, creepy film that certifies that there's more to Daniel Radcliffe than portraying a boy wizard.  Radcliffe portrays an attorney on assignment in a remote village where he encounters an angry ghost looking for vengeance.  With stunning production design and cinematography, The Woman In Black is fairly standard in it's execution, but pretty entertaining nevertheless.  Extras include commentary, featurette and making of.  The Woman In Black is an old-fashioned ghost story that provides plenty of solid thrills while paying solid homage to the vintage tone and look that it's emulating.  Recommended.




The Three Stooges: The Ultimate Collection
Sony / Released June 5th, 2012




Ultimate is an understatement as this must have set includes all 190 Columbia remastered shorts as well as an additional 11 hours of solo shorts starring Shemp Howard, Joe Besser and Joe Derita, 2 feature length films and more.  Growing up watching these classic films, I was amazed by both how fantastic the restorations look and by how funny the Stooges are.  It's easy to dismiss the trio as stupid slapstick, but both the clever wordplay (though not as clever as The Marx Brothers) and precision execution of their gags are something the marvel at.  The set is presented chronologically from 1934-1959 and having their body of work at hand truly is phenomenal.  With younger audiences embracing the recent Three Stooges remake is all the more reason to embrace the original films.  Highly influential and undoubtedly awesome, The Three Stooges: The Ultimate Collection belongs in the home of every knucklehead or porcupine.  Highest recommendation.




Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
Warner Home Video / Released June 5th, 2012 on DVD, Blu-ray Combo and Digital Download


If you can put yourself in the mindset of the film's intended younger audience, Journey 2 is an entertaining sequel that finds Josh Hutcherson, reprising his role of Sean Anderson from the first film receiving his grandfather's coded distress signal from an unknown island full of treasure.  With the assistance of his new stepfather Hank (Dwayne Johnson), a pilot and his daugher (Luis Guzman and Vanessa Hudgens), Josh and Hank head to the island to rescue Josh's grandfather (Michael Caine) before seismic shockwaves plunge the island and it's treasures underwater forever.  


At times reminiscent of old Irwin Allen and Krofft tv shows, Journey 2 is cheesy, but definitely has the hallmarks of the kind of film I'd watch again and again when I was younger.  Filled with slapstick, this colorful and cartoony adventure is helped considerably by it's cast, who play the film straight.  Extras include a gag reel, an interactive map and deleted scenes.  Journey 2: The Mysterious Island is geared toward younger viewers, but set your cynicism aside and it will be hard not to find yourself grinning.





TED Is Raunchy In This New Red-Band Featurette

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Ted is Seth MacFarlane's first foray into live action and feature films, but this red-band featurette makes it look like he's been doing this forever.

Staring Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis, with MacFarlane voicing the raunchy teddy bear, the story follows a man and his longtime friend a bear whom he wished would be real when he was a kid. Both of them never really grew up, so now it's time for them both to get jobs, move on and deal with the real world. 



“Ted” is due out in theaters on June 29, 2012. Keep in mind the featurette has all the things that are classically NSFW. Hopefully you're not still at work on this lovely Friday.


CLASSY COURTNEY STODDEN MAKES A CLASSY VIDEO TRIBUTE TO MARILYN MONROE...Did I Mention How Classy It Is?

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I killed myself for this?



Teen bride and fame whore Courtney Stodden has channeled her inner Marilyn and put the results on video for the world to feel icky to.

Watch as Courtney/Marilyn lounges around in clear hooker heels, lays in bed and generally makes Duck Face at the camera for two minutes.

I tell you it's a fitting tribute to one of Hollywood's greatest screen goddesses.

Now, if you excuse me, I have to take a burning hot shower and rub all the shame off of me with a gasoline-soaked loofa.


Source: Videogum


There's A Distinct Lack of Clowns In This Trailer For KLOWN

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Klown will be seeing an American language remake in a little while but for now we can give you the trailer for the Danish film about two guys who kidnap a 12-year-old because they think it will show one of their wives that he has fatherhood potential.

Danny McBride is said to be working on the remake and potentially starring with Todd Phillips in the director's chair. It's not yet known who might be in the other role.

Klown will be in select theaters in New York, LA, and Austin. It will also hit VOD on the same day, July 27th.



GARY OLDMAN HAS SOMETHING TO SAY To Athletes That Act

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You know how you felt when you accidentally saw the movie From Justin to Kelly and your soul collapsed in a pit of mediocrity?

Well Gary Oldman feels the same way when confronted by acting (and I use that term loosely) athletes.

Only when he says it, it's like getting a bitch-slap from an acting god.


Do they give Oscars for Best PSA?

Source: Neatorama


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