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NETFLIX Is Streaming HGTV Shows Now...It's Been Nice Knowing All Of You

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Well, I've truly enjoyed my time working on the site as the Managing Editor and spending everyday with all of you but let's face it, now that Netflix is streaming HGTV shows, I have no time to create funny little vignettes of pop culture any more.

Not when shows like: Buying and Selling, Cousins on Call, Flea Market Flip, House Hunters, House Hunters International, Income Property, Love it or List It, Property Brothers, Rehab Addict, Selling New York and The Brian Boitono Project are available for binge-watching.

Seriously, I feel bad about leaving not only you, the glorious readers of the site, but also my husband, my family and even, well, life in general.

Oh, and, if you could pass on my resignation to my boss, that would be great, I mean I would do it myself but I'm too busy watching FUCKING HOUSE HUNTERS!


Source: Apartment Therapy

 

THROWBACK THURSDAY: The Super Elastic Bubble Plastic By Wham-O...How Little Kids Experienced Their First High

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Hey, you know what would be a great product? A chemical balloon that you squeeze from a tube and then blow up WITH YOUR MOUTH. Yeah, that sounds fun (and completely safe) and who cares if a bunch of kids end up accidentally swallowing some of the balloon goo, it's not as if 30+ years down the line they are going to get cancer or anything.

Oh, and by the way Wham-O, thanks for all the noxious fumes that got me high at the age of six and seven, that was awesome.

Advertisement for the gateway drug of the 70s after the break.

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This Is How The World Ends, Not With A Bang, But With Adorable Robot Cheerleaders

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I've always wondered which apocalypse would be the one to end humanity. Ebola? Zombies? Kim Jong Whomever? ISIS? All of these I was emotionally prepared to deal with, but this...this is something I did not fathom...hell, how any of us? If I had known...if I could have predicted that the fall of humankind would have been to this, maybe I could have done something...but no, our doom came via adorableness and we never even saw it coming.

May whatever entity you pray/speak to save your soul...I'll be hiding in my basement, waiting for my annihilation.

Video of our overlords after the break.

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Getting Ready For The FREAK SHOW: AMERICAN HORROR STORY's Previously Most Creepy Moments

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American Horror Story returns to FX on October 8th with the newest season, Freak Show.

If preview pics and trailers are to be believed, fans are in for a season of Siamese twins, deformed handsome carnies, a bearded Annie Wilkes and a three-breasted Angela Bassett.


In other words, season four could shape up to be perhaps one of the most disturbing season’s yet.

And that saying a lot..

Before fans sink their teeth into the eagerly anticipated upcoming season, here is a quick look back on a few of the best WTF moments of the AHS and why it prides itself on being one of the most bat-shit insane series of modern television.


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When Worlds Collide: Nerd Life Enters Real Life

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Every once in a while, my nerd world of pop culture covered by the FOG! faithful, and the ostensibly non-nerd world of sports – upon which my livelihood is based – collide in hilarious ways.

There was the time that someone figured out which superhero team is best at baseball, complete with scouting reports on the Justice League, X-Men, Avengers and JSA.

Or when the San Francisco Giants baseball team joined the city in honoring a child’s Make A Wish Foundation excursion as Batkid.

Recently, as baseball star Derek Jeter was nearing the end of his legendary career, the New York Daily News donated money to Jeter’s charity. The amount: $22,222.22.


Surprisingly, Two-Face didn’t show up to steal the check. As if he isn’t real, or something.

Way to slack off, Harvey. This score was tailor made for you. Plus you know Batman isn’t going to jump out in front of all those people to stop you in the act.

Hmph. I guess even supercriminals need a break. Maybe he was sipping on a Dos Equis on vacation in Twin Falls, Idaho.

But hey, it’s fun when fantasy world and real life collide in such a way.

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Top Spooky 90s Kid's Shows

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For the majority of the American populous, December is the most nostalgic time of year.Presents, fresh glistening snow, kissing on New Years Eve. Que c'est beau!

As for myself and my spookier brethren, our most cherished and memory laden time of year is, hands down, the month of October.


31 days of scary movies, dressing up, eating a copious amount of candy and celebrating all that’s uncanny, weird, and, sometimes scary. We get 1/12 of the year and, by golly, we’re going to live it up. It’s also the only time where you can actually expect to see the entirety of the Halloween franchise in order on television. It’s the little things in life.

But, really, there’s something exciting about the colors changing and celebrating the darker part of the year.

I had the privilege of growing up in the early 1990s. Sorry to every human older than me, as I know this tends to make people feel uncomfortable. I’m not totally sure why, I just know to apologize in advance. Regardless, I grew up in a time when houses were still saleable, car phones were a thing, and no one was hotter than Kelly Kapowski.

Not only were the 90s an overall enjoyable time, comparatively to the last 14 years, they also had some pretty rad TV shows for the youngins. You didn’t have to watch the wimpy, fluffy drivel that’s shoveled onto televisions everywhere now. There were options. Oh, yes. And some of those options were freaky and frightening with just a twist of humor.

And surprise! I now am an adult woman who loves horror and humor. I want to celebrate this October by showcasing 90s kids show.

Some are frightening, some are funny.

And the best ones are both.


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GONE GIRL (review)

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Review by B.S. Walker
Produced by Leslie Dixon, Bruna Papandrea, 
Reese Witherspoon, Ceán Chaffin
Screenplay by Gillian Flynn
Based on Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
Directed by David Fincher
Starring Ben Affleck, Rosamund Pike, 
Neil Patrick Harris, Tyler Perry, 
Carrie Coon, Kim Dickens, Patrick Fugit


Dreading his fifth wedding anniversary, Nick Dunne (Ben Affleck) and his “villainous” chin return home to find the front door strangely ajar, coffee table smashed, and his lovely, disenchanted wife Amy (Rosamund Pike) missing.

And while Nick, the prime suspect in his wife’s disappearance, may not have to worry about what to get her for a present anymore, director David Fincher and novelist/screenwriter Gillian Flynn have given us something surprisingly wooden.


Don’t get me wrong, Gone Girl is a solid, entertaining mystery/thriller/dark comedy that makes short work of its two and a half hour running time. But through it all, I found myself nagged by the distinct feeling that a GREAT movie was lurking just beneath the one I was watching. Patiently waiting for it to breach the surface.

Never quite making it.

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Wear Your STAR WARS Nerd Cred Around Your Neck With These Giant Sculpted Statement Necklaces

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Attention fellow geekettes, if you're getting tired of slipping on a tight tee emblazoned with the cracked iron-on image of the Star Wars movie poster (1977 edition) perhaps you would be interested in something a little more dramatic, like, maybe, a giant sculpted head of Chewbacca around your neck? (which is not too dissimilar to how the Jivaroan tribes of old would wear the shrunken heads of their enemies around their neck to show off their bad-ass killing skillz).

Now, if Chewbacca isn't to your liking, there is always an Ewok:


Or something a bit more...well let's just say slug-like:

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Marvel's GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY Arrives on Blu-ray Combo 12/9, Digital HD 11/18

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Get it First on Digital HD plus Disney Movies Anywhere November 18th,
and on Blu-ray 3D Combo Pack, Blu-ray and On-Demand December 9th
From Marvel, the studio that launched the epic franchises of Iron Man, Thor, Captain America and Marvel’s The Avengers, comes an unlikely new team—the Guardians of the Galaxy. The Marvel Cinematic Universe expands into the cosmos when brash space adventurer Peter Quill (Chris Pratt) steals a coveted orb and becomes the object of a relentless bounty hunt. To evade his enemies, Quill forges an uneasy truce with Rocket (Bradley Cooper), a gun-toting raccoon; Groot (Vin Diesel), a tree-like humanoid; the deadly assassin Gamora (Zoe Saldana); and the revenge-driven Drax (Dave Bautista. But when Quill discovers the true power of the orb, he must rally his ragtag band of misfits for a desperate battle that will decide the fate of the galaxy. Featuring amazing new characters and exclusive bonus features, this must-own blockbuster will have you hooked on a feeling… of pure adrenaline! 

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Machinima Launches A New Comedy Web-Series, 'Dr. 1Up'...Imagine 'Children's Hospital' But With Video Game Characters

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In the new web-series Dr. 1Up (for Machinima) video game characters like Master Chief (Halo), Lara Croft (Tomb Raider) and Nathan Drake (Uncharted), Raiden (Mortal Kombat) come to Dr. 1Up for medical help in order to get ready for the launch of their next game...only it doesn't go as planned.

Directed by Yuri Baranofsky (Break A Leg, The Temp Life, Leap Year), written by Woody Tondorf (The Morning After, The Dark Knight Legacy) and starring Noel Carroll as Dr. 1Up, YouTube personality Bree Essrig as Nurse Janet and Haley Mancini (Most Popular Girls In School, Smosh's 16 bit High, Mad Men) as Dovahkiin. Additionally, each episode will feature notable actors and YouTube personalities including Inside Gaming Host Adam Kovic who plays Master Chief and premiere voiceover star Matthew Mercer (Attack on Titan, Destiny, Arkham Origins, Resident Evil) who portrays Solid Snake.

Check out the first episode after the break.

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Double Feature Movie Show: BLOOD IN THE SNOW

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Fantastic Fest is quite possibly my favorite film festival. It’s held in my hometown of Austin, TX and takes place at my favorite theatre, the Alamo Drafthouse on S Lamar. Last year wasn’t as good because the theatre was under construction, so they had to have it at a different Alamo. But this year it was back in home base and was all the better for it.

Of course, I still only got to see five films. Pesky work got in the way of my good time!

What is Fantastic Fest, you ask? It’s the local horror, sci-fi, fantasy film festival, that’s what! Full of tun and dismemberment, even the bad movies tend to be a lot of fun.

Seeing as how I only saw the five films, I’m going to attempt something different.

This is a double feature of the best film I saw and another, older film.


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The Cosmic Treadmill Goes Behind The Red Curtain With CANNIBAL ISLAND

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When was the last time you read a good cannibal story set behind the Red Curtain?

Look no further than this new webcomic from Steve Ekstrom, Cannibal Island.



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Among The Panels: DEATH OF WOLVERINE #3, GOTHAM ACADEMY #1, LOBO #1 & More!

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A world of four color magic arrives every Wednesday.

Stories and adventures of heroes and villains, good versus evil.

Tales that entertain and excite by talented writers and artists.

Here are my thoughts Among The Panels.


Thor #1
Writer: Jason Aaron

Artist: Russell Dauterman
Publisher: Marvel
Price: $3.99


Thor #1 is a good start and finish to the current Thor’s story. This issue is really just getting us all on the same page. Thor has been through some wicked bad stuff lately in the comic world and it all comes to head in this issue.

In Original Sin something crazy happen when Nick Fury whispered into Thor’s ear when they were standing on the moon. Thor was so devastated by whatever was uttered that he dropped his hammer and could not pick it back up.

We find him sitting on the moon still many moons later, I know it’s a bad pun but I couldn’t resist, talking to Mjolnir and trying to coax it into letting him pick it back up but to no avail.

We are soon joined by Thor’s classic posse including the recently resurrected Odin accompanied by the All-mother Freyja. They come to witness Thor at his worst and try and get him to return home but before they can everyone decides to play Sword in the Stone with Mjolnir.

Of course no one is able to pick it up, not even the person who gave Mjolnir its power, Odin. Odin throws a fit and then is interrupted by someone telling them that Midguard has been attacked by frost giants. Odin wants to storm into battle but Freyja wants to leave Midguard to protect itself. There is a little conflict between Odin and Freyja about who is control of Asguard at the moment but it’s brushed under the rug by Thor rising from the moon’s surface. He says he’s going to the weapons room and then back to Earth.

Back on Earth the frost giants are destroying an underwater research center with the help of the ever annoying Meliketh the Accursed. He explains through a little exposition that they are looking for something lost many years ago and when they leave they will make sure to destroy the world by freezing it. While he is explaining we get one of the best images I have ever seen in a comic book.

Thor is riding a goat underwater while wielding an ax of some sort. The page is just so brilliant and goofy that it’s hard to turn away from. If the art wasn’t so spectacular it would have been laugh out loud funny. There is a quick battle where Thor is once again defeated. The end of the issue is a shot of the Mjolnir sitting on the moon and someone coming over and picking it up. It pulls out and we see an undisclosed female holding the hammer; an epic ending to a first issue.

Russell Dauterman’s art is commanding all throughout this book. He took the time to show love to a comic that is going to be under the microscope and he comes out looking like a true professional. For the writing, Jason Arron has a lot going for him here and because of the spotlight on his back he has his work cut out for him going forward.

I hope he manages to write this new female Thor correctly. It will be really easy to alienate the demographic you are trying to grab by not understand what all comic book fans are looking for, engaging characters that don’t need to have gender bias’ to be compelling. I wish him good luck and I can’t wait for issue number 2.

Score: 4 out of 5


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LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES (DOCUMENTARY EDITION): Do Communists Have Better Sex? (NSFW)

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According to sociologists who study these things, the big political question (when it comes to a population living under a dictatorship)is: Do Communists Have Better Sex than those people living in a free society? I had no idea that this was something that people studied but thankfully this 2006 documentary by André Meier not only answers this question, it provides little naked animated people to illustrate the whys or why nots (there's also real naked people as well, tastefully done, although if you get caught watching this at work your boss is still going to think it's porn).

Funny, interesting and kind of shocking (and I'm not talking about the naked parts either).

Check it out after the break.

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The Three Stooges: Slap, Crackle, Punch

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Although these gentlemen appear to be dapper businessmen circa the mid thirties, they were actually three of the most legendary comedians in the history of film.

Shemp
Beginning as a late-twenties vaudeville comedy act under the direction of Ted Healy, his show featured himself and his stooges, Moe Horowitz, his brother, Samuel and friend, Louis Feinberg.

The trio performed under the stage names of Moe and Shemp Howard and Larry Fine.

Healy landed his troupe a movie deal and they produced one short, Soup to Nuts, before the Stooges were offered their own contract, which Healy sabotaged.


This led to an irreparable rift between Healy and the Stooges, ultimately leading to the Three Stooges to start performing on their own.  Shemp, decided to pursue solo work, which led to Moe and Larry to recruit Moe's other brother Jerome to join the act.  Which he did, after shaving off his mustache and hair, adopting the new moniker of "Curly."


By 1934, the now-named "The Three Stooges" signed on to appear in two-reel comedy short subjects for Columbia Pictures, eventually making 190 of them.  The Stooges popularity grew on television, where their shorts were discovered by generation after generation of viewers.

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MUSIC VIDEO MONDAY: Toy Soldiers- Martika...It's Been So Long Martika

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In the summer of 1989 I made out with ________ (redacted to insure privacy) on the the top of a parking garage at the teenage-only dance during Turkey Rama. I know that very few of you will understand what most of that sentence means (what the fuck is Turkey Rama?) but trust me when I say it was a pivotal moment in the life of a teenage girl. And playing underneath all those sweet and sloppy kisses was Martika's Toy Soldiers...a song about cocaine abuse written by a former Kids Incorporated cast member (with Jennifer Love Hewitt as a back-up singer).

It is very rare that I ever hear or play that song but when I do I am transported back to that day of rocking side-to-side in the arms of a summer crush, who would, by the end of the following week, break up with me because I wasn't cool enough.

Yep, those were some good times.

Video after the break.

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Every Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor Grunt From 'Home Improvement' At 25% Speed

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I wasn't a fan of Home Improvement, not because it wasn't a good TV show (according to my mother it was wonderful) but because at that point in my life I was deeply into watching Italian horror flicks (thank you for your awesomeness Dario Argento) and the thought of sitting in front of a huge console TV watching a wholesome sitcom about a family headed by a handyman dad seemed a bit underwhelming.

Of course, if Tim Taylor's grunting was actually shown at 25% speed like in the video below, then there's no doubt that I would have been an avid watcher. Frankly, it's even more frightening than Suspiria or Deep Red and that is saying a lot.

So go ahead, watch the video after the break...but I'm warning you, you might want to keep the lights on.

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CRASH! A 1971 Short Film Starring Author J. G. Ballard

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Long before David Cronenberg adapted J.G Ballard's classic book Crash into a 1996 movie that had James Spader humping the leg scar of Rosanna Arquette, Ballard's tale of car crash fetishists was made into a 1971 short film starring the author himself, Gabrielle Drake and directed by Harley Cokliss, and based upon a chapter from Ballard's story collection The Atrocity Exhibition (which was then later fleshed out to create the controversial novel).

Is the short film as weird as Cronenberg's flick? Somewhat, but it's interesting to see how it helped to construct what is probably Ballard's most freakish book ever.

Watch it after the break.

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Break Your Reading Slump, Classic, Amazon Faces The Feds, Free Sanderson & More!

BEVERLY HILLS TEENS: Flashback to Cartoons For The 1%

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Beverly Hills; where power, money and fame bind into a coagulated soup of horrors the likes of which you will never comprehend.

It’s fast living, cheap sex, unlimited pills and relentless wealth.

… and Adam Levine.

Always look out for Levine.


Oh, don’t believe me? Think I’m exaggerating? Think I’m being overly negative?

Well, don’t take my word for it; I saw it all unfold on my YouTube account this weekend and you can do the same. Simply look up three little words:

Beverly Hills Teens


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