Critic Lash

August 6, 2014, 1:10 pm

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So, the early reviews are out for Guardians Of The Galaxy and they are ULTRA AMAZBALLS PERFECT SUPER DOO.  I honestly expected no less from the film when it came to reviews amongst fans and critics and yet there are critics who are DARING to take issue with or even simply fail to read the praise of Guardians Of The Galaxy and grovel at the knees of the movie while declaring James Gunn himself overlord of the known universe.

These charlatans are being assailed as "heartless", as "not being human" and even "lacking the capacity for emotion and fun" (not to mention the "Harlot" comment left about one female reviewer).

Critics and fans are people with opinions and even if that alone does not say anything then remember that in the case of Guardians Of The Galaxy those in question did not trash the movie, their single transgression was taking issues with part of the movie or perhaps they did not like it as much as THEIR critics did, I will also add they liked and praised the film overall.

That by itself, I believe, makes the bile and hate directed at these people even more disdainful. All of this directed before a critic for no other reason than they didn't like something YOU wanted them to like?

What the hell is wrong with you people?

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THE FOX: FREAK MAGNET (GN Review)

August 6, 2014, 3:00 pm

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Just before Archie Comics superhero imprint Red Circle Comics gets eclipsed by the grittier, jaw gnashing Dark Circle Comics (imagine lots of lightning and silhouettes), The Fox Vol.1: Freak Magnet is collected for your enjoyment.

Written and illustrated by Dean Haspiel with heavy scripting help from Mark Waid (Daredevil, Thrillbent).

A classic comics creative team J.M. DeMatteis along with Mike Cavallaro (pencils, color), Terry Austin (inks) and John Workman (letters) set WWII comics on it’s side with tie-in back up story “The Face of Hate,” a cornerstone of the whole volume.

If you remember comics being fun, bad guys getting punched, and if heroes leaping between dimensions gets you trotting, please check out this all-ages friendly The Fox.

Back in MY DAY, we took our comics by the issue and we liked it! Well, that’s what I said way back in October when issue #1 hit the stands.

These days with all the hustle and bustle and Instagram snaps it’s hard sometimes to focus on a story when you have to wait a whole month between chapters. Lots of stuff is going to trade for me lately.

And boy was I happy to come across this sly Fox, all bundled up nice!

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Celebrate 25 Years of The Simpsons™ With An Excerpt and Giveaway of 'C. Montgomery Burns' Handbook of World Domination'

August 6, 2014, 5:00 pm

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Does the hunger and lust for absolute power course through your icy blue veins? Do you feel the need to rule the world with an iron fist? To subjugate the masses with a snap of your fingers? To rise above the insolent and unworthy with your superior intelligence and unlimited supply of cold hard cash?

You’ve come to the right place—now you can learn to turn your sociopathic needs into bloodthirsty greed at the feet of the Master of Megalomania . . . Charles Montgomery Burns!

In C. Montgomery Burns’ Handbook of World Domination (Insight Editions / September 2014), diabolical Mr. Burns leads readers into his wicked world of wealth and power, providing foolproof tips and tricks for taking over the world.

Packed with inserts and special features, including Burnsisms flash cards, a Fruit Bat Man comic, a hidden message decoder, and more, C. Montgomery Burns’ Handbook of World Domination is guaranteed to delight Simpsons fans and sociopaths everywhere.

And thanks to our friends at Insight Editions, we've got three interior pages to share with you (focusing on my favorite secret society, The Stonecutters, and we're giving away three copies of the book to Forces of Geek readers!

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August Brings 14% SuperHeroStuff Savings For Forces of Geek Readers!

August 6, 2014, 7:00 pm

≫ Next: That Time of The Week - DVD/Blu-ray Releases From 7/29 and 8/5!

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So, let's cut right to the chase.  Guardians of The Galaxy was without a doubt, THE movie of the summer!  Granted, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles opens this week, but it's going to have to be pretty mind blowingly awesome to beat this:

So be sure to head over to the largest superhero store on the web, SuperHeroStuff.com, and stock up on some serious awesomeness!



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That Time of The Week - DVD/Blu-ray Releases From 7/29 and 8/5!

August 7, 2014, 5:00 am

≫ Next: BLAME MUMFORD & SONS- Derick Watts & The Sunday Blues

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Hey look, we're back on track (for the most part), and have some pretty awesome stuff this time out including the latest MST3K release, a Herzog collection that will blow your mind, some martial arts and a cult classic that is my dream cinematic double feature with Flash Gordon.

Fire up that queue and prep that shopping cart.


Noah

Paramount / Released 7/29/14

Russell Crowe stars as Noah in the film inspired by the epic story of courage, sacrifice and hope, who takes on the monumental task of building the legendary ark, saving the chosen few and surviving the great deluge. The film also stars Jennifer Connelly and Anthony Hopkins and features Emma Watson, Logan Lerman, Ray Winstone, and Douglas Booth.  Extras include featurettes.

Last Word: Fascinating interpretation of the Old Testament that is definitely unlike any other previous adaptation.  Director Darren Aronofsky's vision is far from perfect, but is a truly captivating tale that uses the story of the Ark as a metaphor for an apocalyptic future.  With only several actors having any real presence in the film, the story is able to combine a somewhat silly premise into a stunning and visually engaging story that offers a parallel to our own time on Earth and continuing optimism that's necessary for mankind to survive and prosper.  Recommended.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: XXX

Shout! Factory / Released 7/29/14

In the language of bowling, XXX is known as a turkey. This latest collection of episodes from the cult comedy series Mystery Science Theater 3000 bowls a solid 120, then, since it includes four turkeys, cinematically speaking. But with comic kingpins Joel and Mike and their robot teammates Tom Servo and Crow hurling their own hilarious riffs, not a single instance of bad acting, bad writing or bad filmmaking is spared. This promises to be a match for the ages, and needless to say, you will have a ball. Whether it’s ten frames or 24 per second, the snarky anarchy of MST3K will be right up your alley.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Volume XXX brings us The Black Scorpion, the 1957 horror/sci-fi tale of two American geologists who work with the Mexican army to destroy the giant arachnids that emerge and wreak havoc after a volcanic eruption, ultimately facing off in a bullring against the biggest and meanest one; Outlaw (of Gor) aka Gor II, wherein our hero, college professor Tarl Cabot, returns to the eponymous planet to take on a vicious queen whose evil priest has accused him of murder; The Projected Man, the tale of a scientist who made himself the guinea pig in a teleportation experiment gone horribly wrong. His mutated, electrically charged body becomes lethal to anyone he touches, and he seeks vengeance on those who interfered with his work; and It Lives By Night, a 1974 horror film best known as special effects pioneer Stan Winston’s first credit. While a honeymoon couple explores a cave, the new groom is bitten by a rabid vampire bat and quickly develops a taste for human blood. He eventually turns his bride so the marriage is sound, but the honeymoon is definitely over.  Extras include Stinger Of Death: Making The Black Scorpion, Writer Of Gor: The Novels Of John Norman, Director Of Gor: On Set With John "Bud" Cardoes, Producer Of Gor: Adventures With Harry Alan Towers, Shock To The System: Creating The Projected Man Extended Trailer For "The Frank" Music Video and 4 Exclusive Mini-Posters By Artist Steve Vance.

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BLAME MUMFORD & SONS- Derick Watts & The Sunday Blues

August 7, 2014, 7:00 am

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I'm not a fan of Mumford and Sons and although a lot of people I know are, I try not to blame them for their musical tastes, as sometimes you just can't help it when you get swept up into a song that you know is horrible but somehow can't stop yourself from enjoying against your will (I still feel bad about downloading Somebody That I Used To Know by Gotye and playing every night before I went to sleep...for like six months).

But after listening to Derrick Watts and The Sunday Blues (a South African musical comedy team) dissect just why people are insane for Mumford and Sons, I have to say I agree with them...as well as a little afraid for my friends who are fans.

Who knew Old-Timey Hipster musicians could have this much power over us.

Video after the break.

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33 Amazing Toy Facts

August 7, 2014, 9:00 am

≫ Next: THROWBACK THURSDAY: That Time Allen Ginsberg & The Clash Performed In Times Square

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Did you know that Candyland was created to entertain bed-ridden children? Or that American troops use Silly String to search out trip wire so they won't get blown to bits?

Me neither, but after watching another awesome episode of Mental Floss' trivia show, I am chalk-full of interesting tidbits about toys that will surely impress no one other than my young nieces and nephews.

You know, I'm a little depressed about how little all this education is actually contributing to my life now...(sigh)

Video after the break.

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THROWBACK THURSDAY: That Time Allen Ginsberg & The Clash Performed In Times Square

August 7, 2014, 11:00 am

≫ Next: SABRINA RISES

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Back in 1981 during The Clash's New York stop for their Sandinista tour, Allen Ginsberg walked on stage and began doing a kind of spoken word/punk oration about South American politics.

As Ginsberg tells it:

(In 1981) I was listening to a lot of punk, and I'd heard about The Clash from Steven Taylor. I went backstage once at their 17-night gig at Bonds Club on Times Square and Joe Strummer said, "We've had somebody say a few words about Nicaragua and (El) Salvador and Central America [they were promoting their album Sandinista at the time], but the kids are throwing eggs and tomatoes at 'im. Would you like to try?". I said, "I don't know about making a speech, but I've got a punk song about that." Simple chords, we rehearsed it five minutes and got it together".. "They led me onstage at the beginning of their second set, and we launched right into the guitar clang. It's punk in ethos and rhythmic style for abrupt pogo-dancing, jumping up and down, but elegant in the sense of having specific political details. First stanza drags a little, but there's one point where we all get together for two verses, an anthem-like punk song. Only one tape exists [not entirely true, actually] taken off the board. They gave me a copy and it's been sitting around all these years like a little toy [Allen Ginsberg Project].

Interesting and kind of remarkable.

Take a listen after the break.

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SABRINA RISES

August 7, 2014, 1:00 pm

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In the latest issue of Afterlife With Archie, focus returns to teen hellraiser (literally) Sabrina Spellman, who has been isolated away from the zombie-apocalypse she created in the sleepy-suburban could-be-anywhere town of Riverdale.  Confused and seemingly sans marbles, Sabrina “Sawyer” is labeled a deeply-disturbed adolescent with no special powers, no witchipoo aunts and no abilities to raise the dead.

Under the care of Dr. Lovecraft, who may or may not have the occasional tentacle, she has been locked away in an asylum.

This recent development is in complete contrast to the last time readers saw the teenage witch, in which her succubi auntie duo had forced her to a nether realm after removing her mouth as penance for raising Jughead’s loyal furry friend Hot Dog from the dead.

As the teen struggles against her doctors, nurses and other Lovecraftian beasties that run the asylum, the comic ends with the white-haired wunderkind handcuffed to a rock, surrounded by members of the occult as they ready her for her marriage to Cthulhu.

Dark stuff. And absolutely amazing.

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Aging Out Of Pop Culture

August 7, 2014, 3:00 pm

≫ Next: Viz Media Announces VOLTRON 30th ANNIVERSARY COMMEMORATIVE EDITION

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It’s 11 o’clock on a Saturday night, and the missus and I are watching an episode of the new VH1 show SoundClash.

Pop ghostwriter-turned-headliner Sia is performing on an episode alongside funky-dude-with-a-guitar Ed Sheeran and Los Angeles art school party band Grouplove.

Sia refuses to show her face, so she’s singing with her back to the audience, while surrounded in a set where her band doesn’t quite look like it’s playing those instruments, and she’s wearing her trademark blonde bob wig.

On one song, an older white woman wearing the same kind of wig is lip-synching the song while walking on a treadmill. In another song, a young black man, shirtless and also wearing Sia’s hair, is doing some kind of expressionist, contemporary dance. He looks like he's suffering some kind of psychotic break, or a Scarecrow fear gas attack.

I wish I could say I liked Sia’s performance, but I can’t. The music is unquestionably good, her singing on point both technically and emotionally. But the fame-reluctant performance? Not for me.

Instead, I say to my wife that the set looks like the music video for Queen’s “I Want To Break Free” and the wig concept feels like tired art house stuff we’ve seen done decades earlier, to better effect, with Peter Gabriel, Laurie Anderson, Elton John, David Bowie and the like. Plus, I said, if people condemned Miles Davis playing with his back to the audience as arrogance, how are we supposed to accept this mess?

Look at those references. Some call them knowledgeable.

It also sounds like I’m getting older. Like, out of the main demographic older.

And at 33 going on 34, I am exactly that.

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Viz Media Announces VOLTRON 30th ANNIVERSARY COMMEMORATIVE EDITION

August 7, 2014, 5:00 pm

≫ Next: Win I'LL FOLLOW YOU DOWN on Blu-ray!

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VOLTRON DEFENDER OF THE UNIVERSE: FROM DAYS OF LONG AGO – A 30th ANNIVERSARY CELEBRATION Explores The History And Impact of The Classic ‘80s Sci-fi Animated Epic

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Win I'LL FOLLOW YOU DOWN on Blu-ray!

August 7, 2014, 7:00 pm

≫ Next: WHAT IF (review)

≪ Previous: Viz Media Announces VOLTRON 30th ANNIVERSARY COMMEMORATIVE EDITION

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After the disappearance of an accomplished physicist (Rufus Sewell), his son Erol (Haley Joel Osment) and wife Marika (Gillian Anderson) struggle to cope. Years later, now a young scientist himself, Erol discovers a formula that could kill him, throw him into the unknown...or bring his family back together.

And we're giving away three copies!

To enter, please send an email with the subject header "I'LL FOLLOW YOU DOWN" to geekcontest @ gmail dot com and answer the following:

Which I'll Follow You Down co-star received an Academy Award nomination?

Please include your name and address (U.S. Residents only. You must be 18 years old).

Only one entry per person and a winner will be chosen at random.

Contest ends at 11:59 PM EST on August 24th 2014.

WHAT IF (review)

August 8, 2014, 3:00 am

≫ Next: INTO THE STORM (review)

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Review by Benn Robbins

Produced by David Gross, Macdara Kelleher, 

André Rouleau, Marc Stephenson

Screenplay by Elan Mastai

Based on Cigars and Toothpaste by T. J. Dawe and Michael Rinaldi

Directed by Michael Dowse

Starring Daniel Radcliffe, Zoe Kazan,

Megan Park, Adam Driver

I really enjoyed What If.

No, it wasn’t the best romantic comedy ever but there is something very sweet and genuine about it.   Even with the much used premise of “what happens if friends fall in love, while one has a significant other?”, What If, manages to stay fresh, through well developed characters and clever take on an old standard.

Originally titled The “F”-Word, writer, Elan Mastai and director Michael Dowse have concocted a very nice story, based on the play Toothpaste and Cigars by T.J. Dawe and Michael Rinaldi.

Starring Daniel Radcliffe and Zoe Kazan, What If starts out very formulaic in the beginning, but slowly begins to unravel the normal romantic comedy structure showing how these two random people Wallace (Radcliffe) and Chantry (Kazan) become friends and grow very close.

The “Will they/Won’t they” of their relationship is pretty well developed and leaves you throughout the film wondering if they will or not.

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INTO THE STORM (review)

August 8, 2014, 5:00 am

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Review by Elizabeth Robbins

Produced by Todd Garner

Written by John Swetnam

Directed by Steven Quale

Starring Richard Armitage, Sarah Wayne Callies, 

Matt Walsh, Alycia Debnam-Carey, Arlen Escarpeta

Being from Boston and having had a tornado touch down just north of the city, I find a disaster film about climate change very timely. Into the Storm proposes to marry a typical action disaster film with a commentary on the frequency of "the storm of the century" becoming a yearly occurrence.

Into the Storm is a fictional film presenting itself as a found footage documentaryby combining the footage of a professional storm-chaser documentary; a high school, time capsule project; and footage shot on the townspeople's smartphones, go-pro's, and digital cameras.

Donnie (Max Deacon) is a high school senior in charge of putting together the graduating class's time capsule video project.

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TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (review)

August 8, 2014, 7:00 am

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Review by Benn Robbins

Produced by Michael Bay, Andrew Form, Bradley Fuller, 
Galen Walker, Scott Mednick, Ian Bryce

Screenplay by Josh Appelbaum, André Nemec, Evan Daugherty

Based on Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles  by Peter Laird and Kevin Eastman

Directed by Jonathan Liebesman

Starring Megan Fox, Pete Ploszek, Alan Ritchson, Noel Fisher, 
Jeremy Howard, William Fichtner, Danny Woodburn, Will Arnett

First off I am going to say that this current incarnation of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is EXACTLY what you would expect from Nickelodeon Movies. This is not as damning a statement as you might think.

Secondly, with all the brouhaha over the evil and soulless  Michael Bay being attached to this film, one must remember that he IS NOT DIRECTING this film. He is the producer.

Much like George Lucas in the 80’s, Bay has reached his fingers into his pockets and uses his influence to get films made.

I have three words for you.

Howard The Duck.

That film will forever go down in the annals of film history as a George Lucas fiasco. The truth being, however, that Howard’s true evil mastermind was Lucas protégés, Willard Huyck and Gloria Katz.

Who you say?

Why the writing team that brought us Best Defense with Dudley Moore and Eddie Murphy and both American Graffiti films (yes, there was a second one) and Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.

But I digress.

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CALVARY (review)

August 8, 2014, 9:00 am

≫ Next: 1984 SESAME STREET Segment Explores The World Of Computers...Kids Just Happy They Don't Have To Learn About Sharing Again

≪ Previous: TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA TURTLES (review)

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Review by Elizabeth Robbins

Produced by Chris Clark, Flora Fernandez-Marengo, 

James Flynn

Written and Directed by John Michael McDonagh

Starring Brendan Gleeson, Chris O'Dowd, 

Kelly Reilly, Aidan Gillen, Dylan Moran

Calvary
(Cal·va·ry/ˈkalv(ə)rē/)

1  The hill outside Jerusalem on which Jesus was crucified.

1.1  (as noun, a calvary) A sculpture or picture representing the scene of the Crucifixion.

– Oxford Dictionary

Just in case you were wondering, no, it's not a film about horses.

Calvary is the story of a small village priest, Father James (Brendan Gleeson,), who hears a startling confession. An unknown parishioner tells Father James that he is going to kill him in 7 days because he had been raped by another priest when he was a child.

Even though Father James is innocent, the unknown man intends to kill him.  

Calvary follows Father James for the next week as he tries to make a difference in the lives of the people of his parish.

During this time he is faced with the disenchantment, cynicism, and in some cases outright hostility of the people he tries to help. To add to his burden, Father James's daughter (from his marriage before he became a priest) has come to visit him looking for solace after a failed suicide attempt.

As the days count down, Father James's faith in his calling, his fellow human beings, and God are tested. In the end, he chooses to face his fate. He meets his killer at the appointed time. He puts his faith in his vocation, and tries to save the lost soul of his killer.


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1984 SESAME STREET Segment Explores The World Of Computers...Kids Just Happy They Don't Have To Learn About Sharing Again

August 8, 2014, 11:00 am

≫ Next: Double Feature Movie Show: NYC HORROR

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In this segment of Sesame Street (when it was pre-Elmo and everything was right in the world) a group of young kids learn all about the world of computers and how this newfangled technology will some day imprison them in a social media hell where escape is non-existent (just kidding, the kiddos are learning how to draw lines and put snow on pictures).

But you know something? The extreme boredom that they are learning about now is probably good training for when they get sucked into Sid Meier's Civilization in a few short years. God knows they are going to lose hours to that time-suck of a game.

 Enjoy the innocence of children before internet porn and AOL chat rooms were a thing.

Video after the break.

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Double Feature Movie Show: NYC HORROR

August 8, 2014, 1:00 pm

≫ Next: Taking a Journey Back To The CITIES OF GOLD

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A few months ago, I did a double feature of New York movies that showed two different sides to The City: one beautiful and full of magic and the other ugly and full of grime.  I’m going to focus on the DEEP grime this time. 

These two movies were made during the height of the Grindhouse experience on The Deuce. 

In fact, they were both filmed using a lot of the people who hung out in the Grindhouses, disgusting human beings that they were.

One of these movies is a lot of fun.

The other will make you want to take a shower after watching it.

Ok, maybe they both will, but one of them will ACTUALLY make you feel dirty in more ways than one.

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Taking a Journey Back To The CITIES OF GOLD

August 8, 2014, 3:00 pm

≫ Next: Want to Enjoy A Rave? Well Watch This PSA First...You Drug Addicted, A$$holes

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Coming up in the 80s and 90s, every television show I was enamored with pretty much followed the same formula of stalwart heroes warring against nefarious villains.

The players may have been different show to show, but the stakes were consistently the same; the fate of the world (and sometimes even the universe).

Sometimes, though, I would find a show that deviated from the good versus evil paradigm. Yes, this was rare. Always a sucker for marketing, I bought hook, line and sinker into the “fact” that boys were supposed to really, really dig epic violence. And I did. A lot.

But summer time was a weird thing when it came to TV viewing.

Sure it meant more time to watch cartoons, but I soon realized that there was no channel that showed The Transformers or G.I. Joe in non-stop rotation. So when outdoor activities got old (what can I say, I was an indoor kid), I had to find something on TV to watch.

And that’s how I found The Mysterious Cities of Gold on Nickelodeon

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Want to Enjoy A Rave? Well Watch This PSA First...You Drug Addicted, A$$holes

August 8, 2014, 5:00 pm

≫ Next: LET'S GO TO THE MOVIES: Penn & Teller Get Killed

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If you are planning on heading to NYC's Electronic Music Festival, Electric Zoo, Labor Day Weekend to take part in three days of a Molly-fueled fuck fest, be prepared to watch a PSA about the dangers of drug use before listening to David Guetta's Sexy Chick (which, when I think about it, requires drugs in order to enjoy it...hmm).

The event promoters, EDM, are kind of tired of hiring a staff of EMTs to scrape the bodies of ODing kids off the floor so they are hoping that through this short video of an asshole rolling on shit he bought in an alleyway, Rave goers will eschew drugs and just get high through dancing.

I'm sure it will work.

While the PSA isn't as classic as "This Is Your Brain On Drugs", it is on par with "I Learned It From Watching You" so take a look after the break and enjoy a kid almost dying from drugs.

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