I don't think a party is truly a party until someone brings out a sword. Of course, to some party goers, a sword appearing at a planned get-together might indicate that a massacre of Red Wedding caliber is about to take place, but in the interest of this particular post, I'm referring to a sword being used for a more awesome bit of party magic...removing a cork from a bottle of champagne.
If you really want to impress your friends with a bit of panache and style then check out the How-To video from Alton Brown after the break.
Seriously, this is the kind of party trick that will totally get you laid...or, more likely, tasered by one of your guests who still think that you are going to start beheading people with your sword.
When you become an adult you will start to notice that a lot of children's television programming is, well, sort of weird. I'm sure that there is some scientific proof to explain the educational merits of the show Teletubbies but if you are over the age of five and watch it stone cold sober, you're not so much being educated as FUCKING CONFUSED.
The following show is like that as well. In what I suppose is someone's way of introducing Yoga to children in a fun and seemingly innocuous environment (a farm), a "Hippy Farmer" goes around doing things to children that are not only a bit pedophile-ish but also reeks of demonic activity.
Trust me, you haven't been more scared for the souls of youngsters until you hear the Yoga Farmer whisper creepily..."Are You Breathing Christian?"
We all know that Mother's Day might not be applicable to the woman who gave birth to you, but to any woman (or even man) who provided a maternal emotional connection in your life, Mother's Day is a nice opportunity to acknowledge them and the influence and support they've provided in your life.
Here's some gift ideas that we think would be rad.
Whenever I meet new people and tedious small talk about the weather and what I do for a living moves onto "So, what do you do in your spare time?,"that's my cue to begin an intense, lengthy discussion about video games, whether the recipient cares or not.
Perhaps I'm a tad self interested, but when someone asks me a question, I like to do them the honour of answering...in detail and at length.
I'm passionate about gaming and I'd be lying to myself and to everyone I meet if I said that it didn't play a part in defining who I am.
It's not just a hobby to me; I love playing games, writing about games and I even co-created a web series about gamers. Call me melodramatic but I can't imagine my life without video games. I believe my core traits as a person have been influenced by my gaming experiences.
Of course, I can't attribute everything about myself to games, every psychologist will tell you that you are more than your external experiences, a complicated bundle of neuroses and that you exhibit many of your parents qualities...blah blah blah.
Remember a paragraph or two ago I mentioned self interest?
Well, I have compiled a list of my best and worst traits with the intent of exploring how my gaming experiences have influenced them.
Last month, our friends at Quirk Books published, How to Make Your Cat an Internet Celebrity, a book that allows readers to unlock the secrets of grooming your kitty for success, creating a terrific viral video, managing your cat’s burgeoning stardom, and much more. Packed with practical tips and helpful diagrams, this indispensable resource shows how ordinary housecats can follow in the venerable pawprints of the Internet’s brightest stars.
Since the internet offers an unprecedented opportunity for cats to become superstar “personalities” with revenue-generating multimedia brands—but only if you know how to cash in, which is precisely what this prize can assist you withi
Professional costumer, Vanessa Walton of Creature of Habit has just completed her tribute for the Sailor Moon 20th Anniversary.
A designer of fantasy costumes, accessories and an avid Sailor Moon fan, she saw the anniversary as the perfect time to bring her vision of the Moon Princess to life!
We caught up with her just after she released the photo shoot for her "Moon Dust" gown.
FOG!: What is your first memory of Sailor Moon?
Vanessa Walton: To be entirely honest, I don't remember the first time I watched Sailor Moon. I was in 4th grade and it quickly became such a part of my routine - watching it every morning before school - that I only have memories of excitedly discussing episodes with my friends.
AVAILABLE FROM WARNER BROS. HOME ENTERTAINMENT ON AUGUST 12, 2014! Stellar Voice Cast Includes Kevin Conroy, Troy Baker, Matthew Gray Gubler, CCH Pounder, Greg Ellis and Giancarlo Esposito
Produced by Evan Goldberg, Seth Rogen, James Weaver
Written by Andrew J. Cohen, Brendan O'Brien
Directed by Nicholas Stoller
Starring Seth Rogen, Zac Efron, Rose Byrne
Dave Franco, Christopher Mintz-Plasse
Ike Barinholtz, Carla Gallo, Lisa Kudrow
Craig Roberts, Hannibal Buress, Halston Sage
Ali Cobrin, Jake Johnson
Admittedly, I went into this movie with low expectations.
Typically, frat house films featuring a war between young and old result in ninety-minute sessions of clichés and overused stereotypes—the frat boys are airheads with zero beneath their hard heads and the adults are born naïve, conservative, and nagging.
Fortunately, that's not the case with Neighbors, which is what makes it amazing.
Mac (Seth Rogen) and Kelly (Rose Byrne) are a modern, happily married couple with an adorable baby girl. But when Teddy (Zac Efron) and his fraternity move in next-door, Mac and Kelly need to figure out how to tell these guys to “keep it down,” in a sly, hip manner.
After Mac and Kelly introduce themselves with stellar awkwardity (my special word), Teddy invites them over for a sweet night of partying. As things wind down, they all believe an appropriate neighborly protocol has been cemented—don’t make too much noise and don’t call the cops.
The Forbidden Zone is an assault on your eyes and ears in the best way possible. It's an amazing film that belongs in every cinegeek's video collection. A science fiction musical with performances by the Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo (which included Richard's brother, composer Danny Elfman), the Forbidden Zone was inspired by Fleischer cartoons, Flash Gordon serials and Cab Calloway performances. And for anyone who loves film, it's truly something to treasure.
And I'll give you ten words that make an argument against that statement futile:
Hervé Villechaize as King Fausto, ruler of the sixth dimension.
Now, almost 35 years later, director Richard Elfman is putting together the long awaited sequel, Forbidden Zone 2 and needs your help. With an Indiegogo campaign ending this weekend, there's still time to support the project and if you never saw the first one, it's available as one of the many rewards.
Richard took some time to chat with FOG! about the campaign and the sequel.
The 80s were filled with college romp/sex comedy movies galore (and it was an epic time, let me tell you) but one movie stood out from the others for me, Up the Creek, a tour de force story about students from a failing college who get recruited for a white water rafting race in which they compete against groups from an Ivy League university (the assholes), a Military College (also assholes) and a boatload of co-eds (the hotties)- among other colleges and universities- and who, of course, learn a valuable lesson about teamwork and getting laid.
While the plot may sound horrifically banal, it is the cast itself that more than makes up for the lack of original storytelling. Peppered with the stars from Porky's (Dan Monahan who played Edward "Pee Wee" Morris) and Animal House (Tim Matheson- Eric "Otter" Stratton and Stephen Furst- Kent "Flounder" Dorfman), this is not your amateur "College" comedy production...Hell, even movie critic Roger Ebert liked it. Not to mention that the film contains one of the most incredible characters in film history, Chuck the Wonder Dog, who gives a performance worthy of an Oscar.
If you are in the mood for a fun ass movie that doesn't require you to invest much brain power in viewing it, then check it out after the break. And really, who doesn't want to see a bunch of drunk people romping about while Cheap Trick blares in the background?
The year was 1990, and I was spending the weekend with my best friend, Chris Carroll.
We were both 11-years-old and, let me tell ya, we were Nintendo kids. For a minute there, it seemed like between the two of us, we were doing out damnedest to own and/or play anything and everything for the Nintendo Entertainment System.
Now this particular weekend, the Nintendo game of choice was Ninja Gaiden II: The Dark Sword of Chaos (God, it’s like an 11-year-old named it). I’d never gotten to play the first one, but I had managed to talk my grandmother into buying me installment numeral dose.
Oh, it had nothing to do with word of mouth, or hearing how good the first game was. No, it was all based on the game’s box art…
Look at that cover. How could an 11-year-old not have to have that game?
Okay Frank Zappa fans, settle down. I only grabbed the title from the 1968 Mothers of Invention album to use for this edition of The Classic Rocker. I haven't heard the LP since… Well, I honestly don't ever remember hearing it. I just always thought it was an attention grabbing title from an era of free concerts and free love, and deposited it into the mind vault for future use.
It took awhile, but right now seems like a good time. Allow me to use…
Rockers get into this roller coaster business for many reasons, including free love and paid concerts. But the ones that last longer than a novelty song or one hit wonder can claim to be called talented artistes. It's not easy to come up with a memorable song hook, sing-along chorus, dynamic middle eight, and words that actually mean enough to inspire fans (hopefully millions) to spend their hard earned $$'s to buy the disc and make it a classic.
One of the perks from selling millions of records is depositing hard earned $$'s into the money vault. But first the funds are filtered through the record companies, producers, publishers, distributors, and other artistes that wrote the songs and styled the rocker's hair for the cover. What's left goes into the rocker's bank account.
But is it enough? You would think so, but not everyone who ever had a recording contract attended classes at the London School of Economics with Mick Jagger. Most of them, like his millionaire partner Keith, cut math classes and hid out behind the gym to smoke and practice guitar.
To put this in another way, let's say you haven't studied for your final exam in accounting. You enter the classroom and have an opportunity to sit next to a rock star drummer or his business manager and neither one are doing anything to hide his answers. Which one would you pick to sit next to? I rest my case.
Some classic rockers were smart with their money and can afford summer homes in Margaritaville, while others are looking for gigs singing at weddings. Rumors have it Elvis was burning through his hip-shakin' money-maker at a rate that would've eventually turned Graceland into The Presley Mobile Home Estates. And when Michael Jackson's thousands of closest relations lined up for a big pay day, they ended up owing money.
That's not to say all rock stars are destined for government payouts just to keep the music industry afloat. In fact, a good business plan that might be considered by some to be selling out can actually be another creative talent outlet and at the same time a boost in popularity for talented artistes. Mick, Keith and the other Stones recorded a commercial jingle written by Brian Jones for Rice Krispies cereal in 1963.
The paycheck probably kept them in guitar strings until Satisfaction hit two years later. Their Start Me Up commercial three decades later for Windows 95 earned enough for everyone in the group, with the exception of poor Brian, to purchase a year-round home in Margaritaville.
As a warm-up for the rock operas Tommy and Quadrophenia, the very first concept album by The Who lampooned the silly concept of product endorsements by pop singers. Their 1967 album The Who Sell Out included the hit song I Can See For Miles, along with a commercial for Heinz Baked Beans.
It certainly didn't hurt their future careers as guitar-smashing money-makers and actually boosted their popularity by creating something different. If fans didn't care for the music, they might have been tempted to buy the album just for the photo of Roger Daltry sitting in a bathtub full of baked beans.
The money that can be earned from doing national television commercials is tempting, but small change when compared to world tours and million sellers. So for some of the rockers that have lent their talents to seduce potential product buyers, it seems they weren't in it just for the money. It was also a creative outlet. And like a lot of their music the results could be very entertaining, but not always memorable.
In 1967 Cream did a commercial jingle for Falstaff Beer. A year later Ray Charles and Aretha Franklin sang a duet for Coca Cola. In 1998 ZZ Top spun their guitars on camera for Honda Z and in 2001 Paul Stanley, from a band that knows a thing or two about promotions and making $$'s, threw his KISS vocals behind Folgers Coffee. Forget the caffeine. The real wake-up call would've been hearing Star Man telling you how to start your morning.
But most of these commercials are like one-hit wonders. We may have heard them, but nobody except die-hard fans really remember. So what is it that makes some rock star commercials more memorable than others? I believe it's not the selling out factor, but the creative effort that goes into it.
So based on entertainment value alone and ignoring the fact that none of the following artistes were ever in danger of being evicted from Margaritaville for a doublewide at The Presley Mobile Home Estates, let's see what classic rockers hit the top of the commercial charts.
We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors...
Sometimes there are things found on the internet that are just too strange to actually explain to people without ending up sounding like a mad person. How To Dye Your Hair is the epitome of one of those things. I don't know what it is, but I do know that it is easily one of the strangest things I have ever seen...and slightly nightmarish.
The cops can’t control him. The mob wants him dead. And time is running out.
Donnie Yen is Detective Chen Zilong – but the criminal underworld knows him as “Dragon” Chen, a dangerous but effective enforcer. When rivalries explode with the reappearance of an old enemy and a brutal murder, the Triads close ranks and unleash a series of executions – with Chen at the top of the list.
Undercover and under attack, he has no choice but to rely on a new partner (Jing Tian) and his knowledge of the streets to get out alive. It’s the only chance he’s got.
Writer, cartoonist and photographer Seth Kushner has been diagnosed with leukemia and is looking for a bone-marrow match.
I don't know Seth well, but I can personally vouch for his generosity as a person. Seth has allowed me to use some of his stunning photographs on the site requesting nothing more than a credit. That might not seem like much, but anytime an artist gives, I can't help but consider the selflessness of another creative person who is helping out just because they are a good person.
Seth's planning to beat this (and he will), but bone-marrow matches are difficult which makes it important to register yourself to selflessly help Seth or other people battling this disease.
Terra Kushner, Seth's wife, posted how people can help:
As you may know, Seth will need a bone marrow transplant. His transplant doctor is starting the process to search for potential donors through the National Marrow Donor Program (NMDP), which maintains a national registry of potential matching bone marrow donors. Many of you have inquired about how you can find out if you qualify to be a potential donor. Basically what you do is register via online or phone & swab your cheek. Here are a couple organizations you can use. Delete Blood Cancer - I personally went to this website, registered online from my iPhone, received a swap in the mail with 24 hours, mailed back the swab & was told it will show up in the register within 3 weeks. They claim to be the quickest. (deletebloodcancer.org) National Donor Registry - this is the registry that is directly associated with the NMDP. (BeTheMatch.org) More specific details are laid out on the websites above. If you decide you want to be a donor, you can: •register online (they will send you a kit through the mail to swab your cheek that you will mail back- prepaid postage included) •go to an approved center to swab your cheek (locations listed on sites) •organize a bone marrow donation drive or "swab" party. As far as I can see, the basic criteria for potential donors are: •age •health •lives in the US •not in the US military •haven't already joined the registry •willing to be a potential donor to anyone* *Perhaps the most important point about volunteering through the national registry is that you cannot specifically sign up to donate to Seth. It is a big commitment to join the registry, and your efforts can be enormously rewarding, but the process is designed to find patients anywhere in the country or world who may benefit by being a match to you. Therefore it does not provide an option to specify who you wish to help.
Seth's comic is called Schmuck. Seth is a mensch. Register.
THE BLOODY BATTLES CONTINUE! Blu-ray, DVD and Digital Download includes over an hour of bonus features
“300: Rise of an Empire,” told in the breathtaking visual style of the blockbuster “300,” is a new chapter of the epic saga, which takes the action to a new battlefield—the sea.
The story pits the Greek general Themistokles against the massive invading Persian forces, ruled by the mortal-turned-god Xerxes, and led by Artemisia, the vengeful commander of the Persian navy.
Knowing his only hope of defeating the overwhelming Persian armada will be to unite all of Greece, Themistokles ultimately leads the charge that will change the course of the war.
Street Fighter: Assassin’s Fist will officially debut in its entirety on May 23 on Machinima! A thrilling, multilayered series, Street Fighter: Assassin’s Fist, presented by the all-new Honda Fit, takes the audience back to the formative years of iconic characters Ryu and Ken as they live a traditional warrior’s life in secluded Japan. The boys are, unknowingly, the last practitioners of the ancient fighting style known as “Ansatsuken” (Assassin’s Fist). The series follows them as they learn about the mysterious past of their master, Gōken, and the tragic, dark legacy of the Ansatsuken style. Can their destiny be changed, or will history repeat itself?
Through the coming of age story of Ken & Ryu, we are shown the backstory of some of the game’s most iconic characters, and over the course of the series we will see how the past, present, and future of all of those characters are intertwined, as the battle to become Ansatsuken Master threatens to tear apart another generation of brothers.
The live-action series, which is distributed by Content Media and presented by Honda Fit, is the brainchild of Joey Ansah (The Bourne Ultimatum, Snow White and the Huntsman). Ansah, who also stars in the series (Akuma), wrote the script with Christian Howard, who reprises his role as Ken Masters from the original fan film. The series also stars Mike Moh as Ryu, Togo Igawa (47 Ronin, Memoirs of a Geisha, The Last Samurai) as Gōtetsu, Akira Koieyama as Gōken, Gaku Space as Gōki, Mark Killeen (300: Rise of an Empire, The Dark Knight Rises) as Mr. Masters, and Hal Yamanouchi as Senzo.
The series is produced by Assassin’s Fist Limited (a UK based company) in association with Lonely Rock Productions, Gloucester Place Films, Capcom U.S.A., Inc. and Evropa Film.
Based on the wildly popular DC Comics series “Hellblazer,” seasoned demon hunter and master of the occult John Constantine (Matt Ryan, “Criminal Minds”) specializes in giving hell… hell. Armed with a ferocious knowledge of the dark arts and his wickedly naughty wit, he fights the good fight — or at least he did. With his soul already damned to hell, he’s decided to leave his do-gooder life behind, but when demons target Liv (Lucy Griffiths, “True Blood”), the daughter of one of Constantine’s oldest friends, he’s reluctantly thrust back into the fray – and he’ll do whatever it takes to save her. Before long, it’s revealed that Liv’s “second sight” — an ability to see the worlds behind our world and predict supernatural occurrences — is a threat to a mysterious new evil that’s rising in the shadows. Now it’s not just Liv who needs protection; the angels are starting to get worried too. So, together, Constantine and Liv must use her power and his skills to travel the country, find the demons that threaten our world and send them back where they belong. After that, who knows… maybe there’s hope for him and his soul after all.
The cast also includes Harold Perrineau and Charles Halford.
Writer Daniel Cerone (“The Mentalist,” “Dexter”) serves as executive producer with David S. Goyer (“Man of Steel,” “The Dark Knight Rises”). “Constantine” is produced from Bonanza Productions in association with Warner Bros. Television. The show is based upon characters published by DC Entertainment.
In the year that followed the fall of the Berlin Wall in 1989, two things occurred in my life that officially ended my fear that I would be annihilated by a nuclear bomb via the politics of the Cold War. 1) I stopped listening to Sting's song Russians off his debut solo album The Dream of the Blue Turtles where I had hoped that the following lyrics: How can I save my little boy from Oppenheimer's deadly toy/There is no monopoly in common sense/On either side of the political fence/We share the same biology/Regardless of ideology/Believe me when I say to you/I hope the Russians love their children too weren't rhetorical and 2) I started listening to Jesus Jones' song Right Here Right Now where the lyrics: Right here, right now/there is no other place I want to be/Right here, right now/watching the world wake up from history seemed a bit more upbeat and thus warranted the celebration of a future that was going to seemingly happen regardless of being repeatedly told that it wouldn't by the nightly news.
In that glorious bubble between the end of a 40+ year propaganda war and the first Gulf War, the whole of the world was allowed to embrace the cheesy saccharine taste of Jesus Jones and believe me, we were happy for it...of course, then Bush Number One had to prove his dick was the biggest and thus began another in a long line of horror shows that no amount of Jesus Jones could protect us from.
So join me in remembering better times after the break, that is if you can stand the taste of all that pop sugar in your mouth.
Back in the early 60s, Jim Henson was sought out by Marathon Gas to create a few interesting commercials that would get the buying public in the mood to "Fill Er Up". Which, judging by how adorable these two singing gas pumps are, people did.
Seriously, you'd have to be a pretty jaded person not to fall prey to characters named "Regular" and "Premium" who belt out tunes about filling your tank.
Hell, if Big Oil resurrected these two, it might be a whole lot easier to pay $3 something a gallon at the pump...sure, I'd still bitch about being gouged but at least there would be a smile on my face.
