Hey people! I’m BAAAAAAAACK!
Mea Culpa for missing the Golden Globes, but I had a long rehearsal for my Who tribute show the next night that I couldn’t postpone – I’m also a singer for those who don’t know. And the show was a rousing success!
Okay, I’m now at my BFF Claire’s house to watch the show, she’s got a HUGE, digital TV so I can see every pore on Ryan Seacrest’s face! Yes, right now we’re watching the pre-game show in E!
Hey, it’s Kathy Griffin! She’s always super funny with Ryan, I love her because she doesn’t care about what people think - AND AFTER SIX NOMINATIONS, SHE FINALLY WON A GRAMMY! Hooray!
Okay, here comes MADONNA. SHE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE PUNCHED HER IN HER RIGHT EYE, SHE'S WEARING GOLD FRONTS, WALKING WITH A CANE, annnnnnnd, she brought her adopted Black son David Banda with her.
They're both in matching B&W Dior Zoot suits. He said that he picked out the outfits for them both. She is looking straight up crazy – seriously, both of her eyes are puffy, and she looks a little drugged and out of it. She’s either had a stroke, or now has Bells Palsy.
*** I JUST FOUND OUT THAT SHE WAS IN EITHER A SKIING ACCIDENT, OR A HIGH HEEL ACCIDENT. I’M GUESSING SHE’S ON PAIN KILLERS***
HEY MACKLEMORE, TONY ORLANDO CALLED, HE WANTS HIS TUX BACK.
It’s a nice jewel tone – a deep turquoise color. But VELVET?
It seems that velvet tuxedoes are the thing tonight, Robin Thicke is wearing a deep navy blue Armani tux. LL Cool J is wearing a eggplant colored velvet tux. Strange.
HOLY CRAP, PHARRELL WILLIAMS – WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THAT HAT?
Oh, and the usual rolled up pants with no socks and shoes thing that he can’t let go of. But the hat.
HEY DUDLEY DO RIGHT CALLED, AND HE WANTS THAT HAT BACK.
Oh SNAP, that hat has a Twitter page and already has eight thousand followers! HAHAHAHAAA!
Okay, some friends have stopped down, we’ve got some bottles of wine, a great dinner, and are ready for the show to start! The wine will help ease the crazy shit – hooray!
ON TO THE SHOW
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