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A Winning Hand: Top Four Things You Should Always Do When Playing Poker

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Whether you’re playing just to have fun with your friends or have turned it into a professional career, poker can be a very enjoyable and entertaining game as long as you play it well.  When you focus on the basic fundamentals of the game, it’s simple to understand and even to eventually master.

However, there are several key points that you should always do when playing poker regardless if there is money involved or not to increase your chances of walking away as a winner.


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The 30th Anniversary of The Mac

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Today is my birthday. I’m 37 years old (I know, right?).  And I’m always a little bit shocked and a little bit more jealous and territorial when I look on Facebook and see that other human beings were conceived on the same calendar day I was.  I hate how petty that is, but I am willing to bet if you’re honest with yourself you feel the same way. “This is MY birthday, bitches! Back up off!”

But there’s one entity I am actually very proud to share a birthday with: The Apple MacIntosh.


Apple has put together one hell of a 30th anniversary retrospective of the computer that changed the world. It’s the computer that democratized creativity, the computer that made it possible for everyone on the planet to follow their dreams, right out of the box, without having to learn anything regarding programming or software creation or hardware building.

And for the first 29 years of my life, I HATED them.

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THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE Arrives 3/7/14

Double Feature Movie Show: NEO-NOIR

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Film noir has come a long way…and that way hasn’t necessarily been a good one.  The last great film noir was probably LA Confidential back in 1997 and I might actually be stretching the genre a bit to include that.

By definition, film noir was created during WWII when Americans were in a rather dark mood.

The films were heavily influenced by German expressionism and were full of shadows, hard men, harder women and mysteries whose solutions were barely the point. The point was that, no matter who the good guy was, no one ever truly won.

There have been a lot of attempts to rekindle the flame of the film noir candle, but few of them have been truly successful. The aforementioned LA Confidential and Lawrence Kasdan’s Body Heat (1981) are probably the best.

What has been strangely successful are revisionist and parody film noir. The Big Lebowski is probably the most famous of these. It has everything that a classic film noir has (except maybe the shadows) along with a pot-smoking lead who has no clue that he’s stuck in the middle of a mystery. All he wants is his rug and to not listen to The Eagles.

But I’m not here to talk about that movie, as great as it is. I’m here to talk about a couple that you may not know much about.

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THE GREAT CHICKEN WING HUNT (review)

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There are so many documentaries out there. Sometimes it is hard to wade through all the dreck to find a really good one.

Well, I am happy to report that this is one of those.

A good one. A really good one.

This one happens to be about The Buffalo wing.

I know. The Buffalo Wing. Who’d a thought?

The Great Chicken Wing Hunt was engaging and fascinating to me.

Once thought of as the unusable part of the chicken that even the chickens can’t use them.

The wing was the part that was thrown away, in most cases.

That is, until an Italian America couple, from Buffalo NY, received a case of chicken wings instead of their normal order of breasts, by mistake.

However, in a panic stricken epiphany Theresa Bellissimo created the Buffalo wing, just to get rid of them. Deep Fried and covered in vinegar and hot sauce, they were served for free at the bar of their little restaurant.

History was made.

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WTF FRIDAY: 3-D Printed Images of Your Unborn Baby Should NEVER Become A Thing

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Look, I get it, you're pregnant, and the sight of your unborn little one swimming inside your body is a miraculous thing that you desperately want to commemorate in some way. I totally understand. And what with technology advancing faster than the growth of your hellspawn, there are a plethora of options out on the market to capture every facial nuances of your genetic offspring that should satisfy anyone who got themselves knocked-up.

BUT FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS DECENT AND GOOD IN THE WORLD, COULD WE STAY AWAY FROM THIS:


As much as you love seeing what is obviously a monster growing inside you (judging by these 3-D printing options) there is no reason to subject your friends, co-workers and family members to a plastic replica of a xenomorph that they then have to pretend is precious instead of horrifying when you present it to them (in a wooden box no less)

It's just not good manners.

Stick with the grainy pictures of an ultrasound for everyone's sake. Truth be told, babies look like Ed Asner both in the womb and directly out of it so let's leave the 3-D modeling to those things that deserve the technology, like movies, video games and people who need limbs.

Thanks.

Source: Geekologie


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That Time of The Week - DVD & Blu-ray Reviews From 1/21/14

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This week we've got an Oscar nominees, a handful of films best seen at midnight and some classic television series among other releases.

Fire up that queue and prep that shopping cart.  It's that time of the week!


Captain Phillips 

Sony / Released 1/21/14
Captain Phillips is a multi-layered examination of the 2009 hijacking of the U.S. container ship Maersk Alabama by a crew of Somali pirates. Based on a true story, the film focuses on the Alabama's commanding officer, Captain Richard Phillips (two-time Academy Award-winner Tom Hanks, Best Actor, 1993, Philadelphia; Best Actor, 1994, Forrest Gump), and the Somali pirate captain, Muse (Barkhad Abdi), who takes him hostage. The two men are set on an unstoppable collision course when Muse and his crew target Phillips' unarmed ship; in the ensuing standoff, both men will find themselves at the mercy of forces beyond their control. Extras include commentary and featurettes.

Last Word: With deft direction by Paul Greengrass, Captain Phillips takes this true story and turns it into an intense, enthralling thriller. With a cast led by Tom Hanks, Captain Phillips features some of the best acting of the year. The film excels at portraying the Somali pirates as genuine human beings as opposed to stock characters. As the film progresses and the intensity builds, Hanks gives Phillips a quiet strength that carries the film through it's exhausting tension. Highly recommended.


Machete Kills

Universal / Released 1/21/14
Danny Trejo returns as legendary ex-Federale Machete Cortez in this action-packed thrill ride from innovative director Robert Rodriguez. In his latest mission, Machete is recruited by the U.S. President (Carlos Estevez) to stop a crazed global terrorist (Mel Gibson) from starting a nuclear war. With a bounty on his head, Machete breaks all the rules as he faces death at every turn from a star-studded cast of deadly assassins. Featuring Michelle Rodriguez, Sofia Vergara, Amber Heard, Antonio Banderas, Cuba Gooding, Jr. and Demian Bichir, Machete Kills is one of the wildest save-the-world adventures ever captured on film! Extras include making of and deleted/extended scenes.

Last Word:  Machete Cortez (Danny Trejo) is back, baby and with a blade to kill for in the most ridiculous movie you can strap on this fall.  An all-star cast includes Charlie Sheen somehow referencing his Dad’s stint on The West Wing as the President.  The ‘Winning’ actor is all Tiger Blood and more in the role with self referential zeal, billed as "Carlos Estevez."

Trejo steals the romp with a steely glance, and iron constitution. An action comedy like no other, the second film in the Machete franchise might not be worth a special trip to the theatre, but as a matinee or a RedBox rental, you really can’t go wrong. This has just about everything: girls, guts, helicopters, speed boats, explosions, strap-on weapons and a hero that only needs one weapon — his name!  Robert Rodriguez starts off the film with a Barbarella/Moonraker mock commercial preview for what has been announced as the next film in the franchise, Machete Kills Again ... In Space. We’re a few years away from that, but after nailing movie two with this earthbound Mexican/American conflict we might be ready for his take on 70s space camp.

The players are in place, partner Luz (Michele Rodriguez) is just as alive and tough to kill as Machete at the end of this film, though the result of the bloody military vs. cartel shootout at the beginning of the movie might make you think differently.  Machete Kills opens on the Arizona / Mexico border, where a giant wall has been constructed to curb immigration.  Our hero survives a hanging and is granted a Presidential pardon after the aforementioned shootout. President Rathcock (Sheen) teams up Machete with secret agent Miss San Antonio (Amber Heard) to "Go Kick Some Ass" south of the border, targeting the split personality Mendez (Demián Bichir).

Mendez has a rocket aimed at the U.S., and only Machete with his new tri-blade namesake weapon can stop him.  Along the way of course are many twists and challengers such as Chameleon (Cuba Gooding Jr.), rocket scientist Luthor Voz (Mel Gibson), and the fully weaponized Madame Desdemona (Sofía Vergara).

When attention goes from Mendez to the mastermind Voz as the main foil, we're brought to a futuristic lab with space blasters, space machetes, and Gibson's character showing his Star Wars fanboy colors by driving around in a Landspeeder golf cart as he attempts to woo Machete to the Dark Side.  The third act shows the return of Luz with a vengeance with an underground Network at her disposal as the team goes after Voz — no holds barred.  Rodriguez has given us an hilarious self referential parody of the action movie genre not seen since the first in the series, and before that perhaps only 2008's Tropic Thunder can compare.

Like collaborator Tarantino's tributes to certain genres, this movie takes the ridiculousness of 1980s gems Zucker and Abrahams movies Airplane! and Top Secret, and combines this with purposely bad CGI, head rolls, explosions and oh so much blood splatter.

Subtitles and onscreen text overlays punctuate the film much like the 'Hugo Stiglitz' shout out title in Inglourious Basterds.  Machete Kills is certainly worth a chance, even if only curious as to what Gibson and Sheen are up to these days. Looks like anything can become a franchise these days, so check out the sequel to the movie based on a fake trailer!  If there are any remaining questions about Danny Trejo as Machete kicking ass, I'm sure a face to face meeting can be arranged! (– Clay N Ferno)

In a World
Sony / Release 1/21/14

Speak up and let your voice be heard.  In this hilarious and idiosyncratic comedy, Carol (Lake Bell, No Strings Attached) is an underachieving voice coach living in the shadow of her egotistical father Sam (Fred Melamed, A Serious Man), the undisputed king of voice-over industry. When Sam kicks her out, Carol lands her first voice-over job with the help of charming sound engineer Louis (Demetri Martin, Important Things With Demetri Martin).

As romantic sparks being to fly, Carol finds herself facing a momentous decision when continued job offers put her in head to head competition with her dad. The hilarious ensemble supporting cast includes Rob Corddry, Michaela Watkins, Ken Marino, Nick Offerman and Tig Notaro with cameos by Eva Longoria and Geena Davis. Extras include commentary, alternate opening, deleted scenes, trailers and gag reel.

Last Word: Lake Bell's look at the world of the voice-over industry, is a fairly entertaining first film. Bell, who also wrote the film, succeeds more in her observations than in her skills as a visual storyteller. Part of the problem is the film's tone, which is fairly inconsistent and toes the line between comedy and drama. She handles both areas well, but it's the amalgamation where the film stutters. On the drama side, you've got family dysfunction, gender bias, infidelity and personal identity. With comedy, you have the voice-over industry in general, which Bell pushes as much humor from it as possible. Performances range from subtle to broad, with some really nice work by Bell, Demetri Martin, Rob Corddry and Michaela Watkins and some more cartoonish performances from Ken Marino, Fred Melamed and Stephanie Allynne. If nothing else, In a World is entertaining and an impressive enough debut that I'm curious to see where Bell, the filmmaker goes next. Recommended.

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Watch DAVID LYNCH'S Horrifying Anti-Littering PSA From 1991

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I've come to the conclusion that if you want people to change their bad behavior the best course of action would be to completely terrorize them until the mere thought of wrong-doing causes them to quiver their sphincter and empty some serious foam into their pants.

Case in point, this 1991 PSA by Creep-Master David Lynch does a fantastic job of implying (visually) that if the population of Manhattan continued to say, litter the streets of NYC with their McRib wrappers, then a horde of mutant rats would emerge from the sewers and begin feasting upon the flesh of said litterbugs.

It's a subtle threat, but one that I think does a good job of convincing people to stop junking up the streets with their garbage and instead place their trash in a proper receptacle...you know, if they don't want to get ripped to pieces by gigantic rodents.

PSA after the break.

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INTRODUCING THE SHAKOOLIE, A Beer Koozie For Your Shower...'Cause We All Need One

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I don't know about you but the worst part of my morning shower ritual is getting hot water in my beer. So many Miller High Lifes ruined in the pursuit of having clean genitalia...(sigh).

But thanks to The Shakoolie I can not only enjoy my Wake Me Up beverage of choice while cleaning myself, I can now use both hands to spelunk my crevices and dig out 24-hours of filth without having to worry that hard water will end up inside the champagne of beer.

You see, The Shakoolie attaches to your shower wall via a suction cup holder, allowing you to place your beer far enough away from the shower spray (but still close enough for you to grab) to keep the pristine, albeit bitter, taste of you sub par beer choice still golden.

Truly a win-win for everyone.

The Shakoolie comes in a plethora of colors and retails for about $10...Morning just got a little bit better in my opinion.

Source: Foodiggity


FOG! Chats with the Geeky Hostess (Tara Theoharis) About Baking, Becoming A Food/Life Geek and Kickstarting A Line Of Nerd-Centric Sprinkles

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Becoming a Geek Hostess-with-the-Mostess takes time, hard work and a desire to make all things in life Geek-related, and if there is one person on the planet who has all of these qualities it's The Geeky Hostess herself, Tara Theoharis.

A passionate believer that you should incorporate as much geekiness/dorkiness/nerdiness in your life as possible, Ms. Theoharis has created a one-stop blog that specializes in parties, gift ideas, home decor, recipes, etiquette, fashion, and more to turn your parents basement (or very own home if you are that successful) into an abode dedicated to all your obsessions.

FOG! recently chatted with Ms. Theoharis about her geeky livelihood as well as her Kickstarter campaign to provide the world with Nerd-power sprinkles (which, as we all know, totally makes a cupcake).

Check it out after the break.


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The 56th Annual Grammy Award RANT!

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Hey people! I’m BAAAAAAAACK!


Mea Culpa for missing the Golden Globes, but I had a long rehearsal for my Who tribute show the next night that I couldn’t postpone – I’m also a singer for those who don’t know. And the show was a rousing success!



Okay, I’m now at my BFF Claire’s house to watch the show, she’s got a HUGE, digital TV so I can see every pore on Ryan Seacrest’s face! Yes, right now we’re watching the pre-game show in E!



Hey, it’s Kathy Griffin! She’s always super funny with Ryan, I love her because she doesn’t care about what people think - AND AFTER SIX NOMINATIONS, SHE FINALLY WON A GRAMMY! Hooray!



Okay, here comes MADONNA. SHE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE PUNCHED HER IN HER RIGHT EYE, SHE'S WEARING GOLD FRONTS, WALKING WITH A CANE, annnnnnnd, she brought her adopted Black son David Banda with her.


They're both in matching B&W Dior Zoot suits. He said that he picked out the outfits for them both. She is looking straight up crazy – seriously, both of her eyes are puffy, and she looks a little drugged and out of it. She’s either had a stroke, or now has Bells Palsy.



*** I JUST FOUND OUT THAT SHE WAS IN EITHER A SKIING ACCIDENT, OR A HIGH HEEL ACCIDENT. I’M GUESSING SHE’S ON PAIN KILLERS***



HEY MACKLEMORE, TONY ORLANDO CALLED, HE WANTS HIS TUX BACK.


It’s a nice jewel tone – a deep turquoise color. But VELVET?
It seems that velvet tuxedoes are the thing tonight, Robin Thicke is wearing a deep navy blue Armani tux. LL Cool J is wearing a eggplant colored velvet tux. Strange. 



HOLY CRAP, PHARRELL WILLIAMS – WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH THAT HAT?


Oh, and the usual rolled up pants with no socks and shoes thing that he can’t let go of. But the hat.

HEY DUDLEY DO RIGHT CALLED, AND HE WANTS THAT HAT BACK.


Oh SNAP, that hat has a Twitter page and already has eight thousand followers! HAHAHAHAAA!





Okay, some friends have stopped down, we’ve got some bottles of wine, a great dinner, and are ready for the show to start! The wine will help ease the crazy shit – hooray!



ON TO THE SHOW



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'PERFECT STRANGERS', Don't Be Ridiculous...

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Welcome to the second installment of Flashback to the Present.  I’ll be your contributing writer, Charles Knauf. 

I’m not going to lie to you, dear readers; the last week was kind of hard on ol’ Chucky here.  It started with that damn Broncos/Patriots game – I laid out a tad too much on the point-spread. 

… goddamn Brady.

So, after I got a not-so-nice message from my bookie to pay up, I tried to squeeze FOG for some cash; however, I totally forgot that I was already in the hole with the editors after using the company card to have a white, ’89 Lincoln limo customized to look like Falcor the luck dragon.  Probably not the smartest company car seeing as how it now only seats 2, gets 4 miles to the gallon, and measures a full 123 feet.

I needed to skip town fast, preferably to a location off the grid.

Then it hit me: there’s a place that’s not known to many, a little backwards but welcoming, a place with one phone and the only indoor plumbing can be found at the royal family’s estate.  Not to mention the fact that, since they ran up a one trillion dollar debt to pay for the “Museum of Goat,” the dollar holds quite a bit of weight versus their currency, the digdas.

What is this magic land filled with rolling hills, gentle people and delicious bibbi-babkas you ask? 

Why, it’s a tiny country in the Mediterranean called Mypos.


It was here that I got my idea for the second installment of Flashback to the Present: a little show called Perfect Strangers.


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Worst Jobs in Fiction, Simon & Schuster Celebrate 90 Years, Buying E-Books & More!

Watch The Original BOB'S BURGERS Pilot

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In one the stranger things I've seen is the original pilot to one of my favorite show's Bob's Burgers.

What makes it quite so awkward is not only the character design, but oldest son, Daniel.  That's right.  There's no Tina.

But, it's Dan Mintz who voices both characters in the SAME voice.

It's creepy, but it's still Bob's Burgers, so it's delicious.

Check it out after the jump.

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'REVOLUTION' A Stop Motion Short You Need To Watch RIGHT NOW (You'll Thank Me)

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Photographer Chris Turner, animator Jess Deacon and paper engineer Helen Friel spent nearly a year creating the stop-motion short film Revolution (which is all about the cyclical journey of a single paper water droplet) so the least you could do is watch it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it, the idea of spending a little over a minute-and-a-half of your life watching something nature/science-related may not be your cup of tea but trust me, the incredible skill involved in making this piece will definitely impress you enough that you will end up watching it over and over.

Why do you always have to be so difficult?

Video (and the making of Revolution video) after the break.

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WHAT MUSIC MADE FROM BIKE PARTS Sound Like

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Creating original music takes true talent. Creating original compositions using nothing but the components of a bicycle takes even more talent (not to mention imagination) than should be humanly possible (how does one even think of something like that?). So I guess it's safe to say that composer johnnyrandom is probably one of those extra-special people for whom skill, talent and a hell of a lot of musical ju-ju just comes naturally.

And in this amazing piece titled Bespoken, the musical wunderkind has managed to combine almost every part of a bike into a melodic instrumental that sounds way more musical than anything ever constructed on a synthesizer (or drum machine for that matter).

It is simply breathtaking (especially if you like ambient music).

After the break is a short video of the piece (an excerpt really) as well as link to Soundcloud (where johnnyrandom has broken down each of the bike parts used to create Bespoken) and iTunes where you can download it.

Enjoy!

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How to Stay Safe From Cyberpunks...Well, Back in 1998

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Once  upon a time, back in the mid-to-late 90s  just about every TV news show was reporting that the series of tubes we call the World Wide Web would somehow ruin us through porn, identity theft or worse, COMPUTER VIRUSES THAT WOULD MELT OUR BRAINS! So, to counteract this plague on humanity, Informative VHS tapes were created to alert us poor schmucks on how to negotiate the virtual super highway safely.

One of those videos was Caught in the Web: Staying Safe in Cyberspace, a ridiculous, horribly animated adventure about a dad trying to stop "Cyberpunks" from destroying his life and the purity of his daughter's mind (with the help of a coked-out detective weirdo).


Now, because watching the entire video would probably result in suicide, the folks at The Found Footage Festival have edited the video down just to all the best parts (i.e-the most insane) for your viewing pleasure.

So pull up a seat, click HERE and check out what life was once like for people lurking in knitting chatrooms on AOL.

Believe it or not, they weren't talking about stitches.

Music Is My Memorabilia

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One afternoon a few weeks ago, I was texting back and forth with a friend I’ve known since a college summer job (we’ll call him “Rolf,” just for fun). He was trying to figure out, and I was trying to help figure out, at which show we saw Social Distortion open. At a small club in an even smaller city.

Was it the Ramones?

Was it A Flock of Seagulls?

My instinct was that it was neither, as I don’t think I’ve ever seen Social Distortion, but, admittedly, at this age, and after hundreds of shows and bands, I wasn’t entirely sure.

Plus, except for a few notable exceptions, I’m just generally really bad with remembering what band opened what show.

A few weeks later, while at my parents’ house, I remembered the exchange with Rolf and I set about trying to locate my ticket stubs. What follows is a mere fraction of my stubs, but they’re the ones I could easily locate… as most of them were still tacked, along with many other incredibly awesome, nostalgic artifacts, to the bulletin board that hung over my bed back in the day (and which now resides in my bedroom closet).

Among those artifacts…

My high school graduation tassle? Check.

An Edvard Munch “Scream” keychain? Check.

My sales associate pin from The Gap? Check.

A ticket stub to the Brontë homestead in Haworth, England, from my visit with Gwendolyn? Check.

A WDRE 103.9 keychain?  Check.

Add to that loads of Anglophilia, bits of poetry, and a foam dinosaur, and it’s a perfectly preserved time capsule of my teenage and 20-something self.

All on top of a 1978 Star Wars bulletin board.

While it would be pretty fabulous to see that again … I’m so very glad that I opted to keep the bulletin board decorated. Because when I pulled it out of the closet and gazed upon it for the first time in many, many years...  it was awesome.


But I digress.

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A F*CKLOAD OF SCOTCH TAPE (review)

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Review by Dean Galanis
Fitfully interesting but mostly off-putting and amateurish, A F*uckload of Scotch Tape is a “queer cinema” mash-up of film noir and musical.

Graham C. Jenkins plays Benji, a much-abused young man who, desperate for money and a father figure, naively trusts an older man who sets him up for a fall.

That, coupled with his money being stolen from yet another father figure, sends Benji on a violence and sex fueled rampage of sorts, pausing every so often to relate his innermost thoughts through song.

While interesting and engaging for a while, the film quickly loses steam, despite its admirable willingness to be very different.

The songs are a cool novelty at first – they aren’t played for laughs – but quickly lose their luster.

These aren’t burst-into-song, showtune-type numbers, but merely Jenkins singing by himself, at times almost matter-of-factly.

Again, nice try, but it gets old.

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Hey Boston! Want To Win a Chance To See 'ROBOCOP'?

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In RoboCop, the year is 2028 and multinational conglomerate OmniCorp is at the center of robot technology. Overseas, their drones have been used by the military for years, but have been forbidden for law enforcement in America. Now OmniCorp wants to bring their controversial technology to the home front, and they see a golden opportunity to do it. When Alex Murphy (Joel Kinnaman) – a loving husband, father and good cop doing his best to stem the tide of crime and corruption in Detroit – is critically injured in the line of duty, OmniCorp sees their chance to build a part-man, part-robot police officer. OmniCorp envisions a RoboCop in every city and even more billions for their shareholders, but they never counted on one thing: there is still a man inside the machine.

For an opportunity to win two tickets to the advanced screening of Columbia Pictures ROBOCOP on Monday, February 10th at AMC Boston Common at 7:00PM please visit http://www.sonyscreenings.com/Robocopgeek


For more details, visit www.robocop.com


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