I am not a fan of snow. Never have been, never will be. Unfortunately I happen to live in a place where it snows all the freaking time (thanks hubby for getting a job where the temperature likes to hover around 21 degrees) and I have to figure out a way to live with it or go crazy and become the perpetrator of a murder-spree that will eventually end up as a Lifetime-Movie-Of-The-Week.
So, I decided to eat it.
Yep, I am partaking of the holy communion of the season by ingesting it in the same way cannibalistic tribes have done every time a Missionary comes to the village and tries to convert them to Christianity...with vanilla flavoring. I am hoping that by sucking down snow, part of it's spiritual properties (i.e- coldness) will somehow help transform me from former tropical weather dweller into someone who doesn't want to kill herself every time dandruff from the sky comes floating down upon her.
It is a noble goal I think.
If you are interested in joining me in clearing a path from your front door through the art of binge eating, then by all means, follow the recipe below and enjoy.
It's the little things in life that keep all the murderous thoughts away isn't it?
Snow Ice Cream
A big bowl of snow (how big is your choice, but remember, yellow snow is not Limoncello flavored) 1 14oz. can of sweetened condensed milk 1 tsp of vanilla extract
Mix it all together and shove it down your face hole.
If you were alive and reasonably intelligent during the 1985 Superbowl season then you will no doubt remember the horrifying spoken word release The Superbowl Shuffle done by The Chicago Bears (shudder).
While the song itself was done altruistically (it was created for the sole purpose of raising money for the Reading is Fundamental organization) the resulting assault on the population's ears was well, more horrifying than uplifting. And now, it appears that a group of comedians, musicians (and one Internet kitteh) have decided to cover it...everything really does come back around again doesn't it?
So, for your listening pleasure (and I uses that term loosely) here are (in order of appearance): Tim Harrington (Les Savy Fav), Tom Scharpling, Jim James (My Morning Jacket), Scott Aukerman (Comedy Bang! Bang!), David Wain, Kyle Kinane, wrestler Colt Cabana, John Roderick (The Long Winters), Lil Bub and Dave Hill.
This 4000 frame per second look at a match head being ignited is more than just an interesting visual, it is an experience that transcends this most mundane activity into an almost exquisite, nay, spiritual endeavour.
That may sound like a bit of an overstatement but after watching it, I have to say that I look at matches in a whole new way...of course, I'm on a copious amount of painkillers right now, so maybe this isn't as awesome as I think, but who cares, the colors are pretty.
The New Yorker has an interesting article about what makes certain things go viral online. Apparently, it's a combination of several things including emotional tone and nostalgia that often propels articles found on Buzzfeed, Upworthy and Viralnova to be shared on social media, creating lots of traffic and as a result, lots of money.
So, you’re a budding MSTie. Congratulations and welcome to the fold! Born 25 years ago in a majestic land we call Minnesota, MST3K began as a public access show and grew to become an honored cult classic. For you and only you, I’ve assembled the most concise history of the characters and the five best episodes to jump start your journey into the enjoyable, subtle madness that is Mystery Science Theater 3000.
The Hosts:
Joel Hodgson, seen here with Tom Servo and Crow T. Robot
Joel Robinson, played by Joel Hodgson, was the original host of MST3K. He worked at Gizmonic Institute until he was sent to live up on the Satellite of Love, or S.O.L., against his will. On the S.O.L., the evil Dr. Forrester with his cohort, TV’s Frank, subject him to nasty experiments. The experiments consist of forcing him to watch movies, the worst of the worst. Joel, an avid inventor, would do an “Invention Exchange” with Dr. Forrester at the beginning of each episode. Hodgson is truly a unique asset to the show.
As creator of both MST3K and the puppets, or “bots,” he holds an admirable position in its history. Wearing many hats, he not only wrote content for the show, but also wrote and performed original music. He comes off as awkward, sheepish, melancholy, and witty. He appears in 108 episodes, including one special appearance in season 10. He left midway through season five, reportedly due to problems with the producer, Jim Mallon.
Crow, Mike Nelson, Gypsy, Tom Servo
Mike Nelson served as head writer prior to becoming the second and final host.
The show was well established when the switch happened, Mike would only tweak parts of the show to keep it relevant. He briefly participated in the “Invention Exchange,” but abandoned it instead for short skits, sometimes entirely unrelated to the content of the movie.
Mike brings a different vibe to the show. He’s chipper, occasionally goofy, and very clever. The bots tend to poke more fun at Mike than they did Joel. I can understand why, he’s pretty much Minnesota incarnate.
A large majority of newer fans prefer Mike to Joel.
Mike is consistently light hearted, funny and, in theory, appeals to a wider audience.
However, I like to think of Joel as an acquired taste.
Much like how a sneaky kid is not likely to enjoy his first sip of dad’s unattended beer.
But, a few beers in, hey, this stuff is a revelation!
The Bots:
Tom Servo, puppeteered by the multitalented Kevin Murphy, is the red bubblegum machine-headed bot.
Servo is often at odds with his golden wisecracking counterpart, Crow T. Robot.
In the first half of the show, Crow was voiced by Trace Beaulieu, who also acted Dr. Forrester. The latter Crow was done by Bill Corbett who also played Observer.
Don’t let the voice switch throw you. Lots of people have a “favorite Crow.”
Personally, I don’t think I could ever choose one. Both Trace and Bill bring such different aspects of Crow to the table.
There’s three more bots with smaller roles, but they’re nonetheless important. Gypsy, voiced by producer Jim Mallon, steers the S.O.L. and keeps everything in working order. She’s huge, purple, and endeared by her awful singing.
Then there’s Cambot, who is only ever seen in the opening credit sequences. Sometimes red and garish. Sometimes streamlined and grey. Cambot changes in appearance regularly.
Finally, we have Magic Voice, who announces commercials and sounds the alarm to go into the theater, also known as movie sign. Magic Voice is done by more than a few women throughout the extent of the show.
The Mads:
The mads are a complex lot. If you watch seasons 1-5, you’re likely to see Dr. Clayton Forrester and TV’s Frank. However, seasons 5-10 are often a mixed bag. You could get a solo Dr. Forrester or you may get his mother, Dr. Pearl Forrester.
Pearl has her own entourage consisting of Bobo and Observer. I know it seems confusing at first, but in all actuality the rotating cast really keeps it fresh.
If you’ve made it this far, first of all, I commend you. Second, I realize that the casting is complex, but the more you know the easier it will be for you to adjust to the different hosts and rotating voices. This is like the 300 level class equivalent of cult television shows. And dagnabit, you’re doing swell!
Now, these five episodes, found in full here, will start you off on the right foot. If you’re going to jump in, dive in the deep end, right?
This February British publisher Com.X releases a supernatural murder mystery in the midst of the Rastafarian movement in Jamaica, Duppy ‘78.
Ex-Vertigo editor Casey Seijas joins us to talk about Obeahman, reggae music, comics and writing for Com.X.
FOG!: Hi Casey, thanks for joining us today! What exactly is a Duppy Conqueror?
Casey Seijas: In Rastafarian culture, a Duppy is a ghost that can be benevolent, or more often than not, mischievous or even able to inflict bodily harm. A Duppy Conqueror— who’s also called an Obeahman— has the ability to control Duppies, so they can defend against them, chase them away or set them upon people.
I come to this era in Jamaica by way of The Clash. Besides the obvious callout to Marley, what's a good soundtrack for this comic?
Yes! I've been waiting for someone to ask me this!
I listened to a ton of old school dancehall, reggae and dub (not that Skrillex nonsense, I'm talking Lee Scratch Perry style here) while researching and writing this.
Emory Cohen (Smash, The Place Beyond the Pines) and Wendell Pierce (The Wire, Treme) give gripping performances as a white gay young man named June and a middle-aged black businessman named Joe who hook-up for a secret encounter in this award-winning drama. In a simultaneous search for connection, Joe’s straight-laced daughter Abigayle (Aja Naomi King) flirts with the streetwise Dexter (E.J. Bonilla) over the course of a hot July 4th evening. Adapted from Obie-winning, Pulitzer Prize-nominee Christopher Shinn’s highly-acclaimed stage play, Four is full of the poetic and tender human drama of great theatre.
In a nameless, suburban American town, the smell of barbeque fills the air as the Fourth of July moves from a hot summer day into the smoldering explorations of night. With raw intimacy and emotion, these four characters explore the limits and possibilities of human connection. And for just this night, the small world that they live in will become even smaller — though the freedom they experience has never been so dangerous, fleeting and honest.
In May 2014, audiences will witness the epic rebirth of the King of the Monsters as Legendary and Warner Bros. bring Godzilla to the big screen. To pave the way for the iconic creature's return, Legendary Comics is proud to present the official graphic novel Godzilla: Awakening. This 72-page story, set decades before the film, is co-written by Max Borenstein (screenwriter of the new Godzilla) and Greg Borenstein.
Godzilla director Gareth Edwards has a special message for Legendary fans regarding this announcement.
Delve into an incredible mystery, generations in the making. At the dawn of the atomic age, humanity awakens lifeforms beyond imagination, unleashing monumental forces of nature. This explosive, larger-than-life adventure is the perfect way for fans to experience the new Godzilla before seeing it in theaters.
Godzilla: Awakening illustrated by Eric Battle (X-Men, Green Lantern, Wonder Woman), Yvel Guichet (Pacific Rim: Tales from Year Zero, Superboy Annual, End of Nations), Alan Quah (Rage, The Vampire Diaries, Anywhere) and Lee Loughridge (Batman Adventures, Arkham Asylum: Living Hell, Marvel Zombies Return), and features cover art by Arthur Adams (Godzilla, Fantastic Four, Hulk, Uncanny X-Men).
Godzilla: Awakening is on sale May 7, 2014. Visit legendary.com/comics for all the latest news as the legend of Godzilla is reborn!
It doesn't surprise me one bit that Ice Cube has decided to rap-ify children's literature, after-all it seems like a natural progression for him (what with the Are We There Yet family movies and TV show). Of course, there's no reason that he would completely let go of his hardcore roots just because he's dropping some nigh-nigh time stories for little ones, I mean, those bitches need to get schooled on a few things about sleepy-time if they want to make it on the streets.
If you are a connoisseur of jelly beans then there is probably only one brand that you will pop into your mouth, Jelly Belly. And after years of alcoholics clamouring for it, they have finally released a Draft Beer (non-alcoholic unfortunately) flavor that will surely keep those who have yearned for a frothy candy to soothe their parched soul, happy.
The Draft Beer Bean will be hitting store shelves in the spring but if you can't wait until then, you can order a 16oz bag from their site for $8.99 (plus shipping) or, if you prefer to reenact The Lost Weekend (albeit, soberly), you can purchase an 10 lb. box for $85.99 (free shipping).
Jelly Belly has also put up a few recipes that you can make inside your mouth combining the Draft Beer Bean with some of their other flavors like the Beer Sangria (2 Draft Beer + 1 Peach), Apple Cider Shandy (2 Draft Beer + 1 Red Apple) and the Michelada (2 Draft Beer + 1 Lemon Lime + 1 Tabasco).
Sounds good to me.
After the break is a short video about the new Draft Beer Bean that will help get you in the mood to start up a happy hour in your cubicle.
Animator, Daniel Sousa, has made his Oscar-nominated short Feral available to the public on Vimeo On-Demand ($1.00 to rent, $2.00 to buy- I highly suggest buying this amazing 12 min. film) so that those who do not live near a festival circuit can enjoy this beautiful and haunting tale of...a wild boy who is found in the woods by a solitary hunter and brought back to civilization. Alienated by a strange new environment, the boy tries to adapt by using the same strategies that kept him safe in the forest (Vimeo).
I'm telling you, if this doesn't win the Oscar, I'm going to bitch-slap the entire academy.
I saw the outstanding film 12 Years A Slave the other night, after weeks and weeks of delay.
While long days at work and other commitments kept me out of the theater, most days I just wasn't mentally and emotionally prepared to watch it. Some days I don't want to think about slavery, America's original sin.
I already think about slavery often, almost every day. I'm descended from slaves, I studied slave narratives in college with Henry Louis Gates Jr., who is a historical consultant on 12 Years A Slave. Slavery touches how pretty much all of our society plays out today.
And now 12 Years A Slave appears in the age of a black president, at a time of cultivated historical amnesia under which plantation homes are turned into tourist traps, country bands name themselves The Civil Wars and Lady Antebellum, and politicians call healthcare slavery.
But, I digress. Back to pop culture. Here are my thoughts on 12 Years A Slave.
As a child, comic books were my religion and Batman was my messiah. The first issue I read was Detective Comics #514, a Maxie Zeus one off, and I never looked back. I dreamed (when not having night terrors that is) of being Batman. I planned how I could one day get the needed training, come into money, get the proper education, develop OCD, etc. It was going to be so awesome.
Then I read The Killing Joke and realized that while I love and respect the Dark Knight, there’s no way you could pay me to be him. Much like a firefighter or a heart surgeon, I became comfortable with the fact that he existed (albeit in fiction) and there’s no way in hell I wanted any part of it.
I slowly realized that there were other factors besides all the cash, flashy gear, brutal murder of ones parents in front of you outside of a playhouse, and super technology that made Batman Batman.
FOX CINEMA ARCHIVES USHERS IN CLASSIC FILMS ON DVD FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME
14 Classics Arrive on DVD to Start the New Year
Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment is releasing their latest selection of classic films on DVD from their popular Fox Cinema Archives collection beginning today through February 25. Launched in 2012, Fox Cinema Archives already includes more than 200 classic films drawing from the studio’s deep vault of movies. The collection dives into the studio’s rich catalog to resurrect some of the most memorable films from the 1930s, 40s and 50s.
In the coming weeks, 14 essential titles will be added to Fox Cinema Archives, including classic war dramas, comedies and musicals, giving film buffs the opportunity to enhance their collection by purchasing a variety of iconic films at major top-tier retailers. The release schedule for this wave of titles can be seen below.
Providing the best home entertainment experience possible, Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment is committed to bringing classic films from the studio’s vault into the homes of film aficionados and collectors with its Fox Cinema Archives collection. We aim to provide the best home entertainment experience possible for titles released under the Fox Cinema Archives banner, but are often limited to the film’s available source material.
Grammy-winning Italian composer, orchestrator, and conductor Ennio Morricone will be a 2014 Special Merit Awards recipient, receiving Lifetime Achievement Award at this Sunday's Grammy Awards.
Morricone, is a unique figure in the history of film music, creating across a wide range of genres, making him one of the world's most versatile, prolific and influential film composers of all time. He has written music for more than 450 films and gained worldwide recognition for his work on Sergio Leone's Westerns: A Fistful Of Dollars, For A Few Dollars More, Once Upon A Time In The West, and The Good, The Bad And The Ugly— with the soundtrack for the latter film inducted in to the Grammy Hall Of Fame in 2009. In 1987 he won a Grammy Award for his work on Brian De Palma's film, The Untouchables, and was awarded an honorary Academy Award® in 2007 for his magnificent and multifaceted contributions to the art of film music.
On Thursday, March 20, 2014 at 8 pm. at Nokia Theatre L.A. LIVE, Morricone, will conduct an ensemble of 200 musicians and singers, marking his first Los Angeles performance.
Tickets priced from $45 and are on sale now at AXS.com, and by phone at (888) 929-7849. Nokia Theatre L.A. LIVE is located at 777 Chick Hearn Ct., Los Angeles, CA 90015. For more information please visit enniomorricone-usa-2014.com. The concert is presented by Massimo Gallotta Productions and AEG and also will be scheduled in New York at Barclays Center Cushman and Wakefield Theatre on March 23, 2014.
After the jump, check out some examples of the maestro's most memorable work.
Like anyone searching for true love, the Juggalo yearns to find that perfect person who will happily commit crime with them for the rest of their life. Which is why a dating site specializing in fans of the Insane Clown Posse is so very necessary for a successful love match among those who do not front (sadly, this only a parody advertisement, but perhaps it might become a real thing one day, I mean if fucking Farmers get their own love-connection website, I don't see why Juggalos can't).
So check out this eHarmony-like commercial after the break and dream of a world where ICP-fanatics can meet, fall in drunken love and walk down the aisle to the romantic sounds of Whoop, Whoop.
Back before lysergic acid diethylamide-25 actually became the LSD we know and love, Swiss chemist Albert Hofmann was synthesizing the chemical for the sole purpose of creating a pharmaceutical that would act as respiratory and circulatory stimulant when a few drops of the chemical was accidentally absorbed into his fingertips.
Hofmann described the feeling of intoxication as "...affected by a remarkable restlessness, combined with a slight dizziness. At home I lay down and sank into a not unpleasant intoxicated[-]like condition, characterized by an extremely stimulated imagination. In a dreamlike state, with eyes closed (I found the daylight to be unpleasantly glaring), I perceived an uninterrupted stream of fantastic pictures, extraordinary shapes with intense, kaleidoscopic play of colors. After some two hours this condition faded away" which is a very intelligent way of saying he totally tripped balls.
A few days later (April 19, 1943 to be exact...also known as "Bicycle Day") Hofmann dosed himself with 250 micrograms of LSD and decided to ride around on his bike, thus becoming the very first person to go on an acid trip.
And to capture what it might have been like for Hofmann on his bike, Italian animators, Lorenzo Veracini, Nandini Nambiar and Marco Avoletta, have created a wonderful little animation that explores the altered reality of Hofmann in a way that makes me yearn for those days of yore when I would succumb to gel acid and spend the evening dancing to 80s club music among friends...(sigh).
