MY TOP 5: MOVIES I'M THANKFUL FOR

November 22, 2013, 9:00 am

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Next week is Thanksgiving and I just realized that, even after more than a year of writing this column, you folks may not really know me too well. (Or, maybe you know me TOO well.)

One of the best ways that I know to get to know someone is talk about their favorite movies.

To that end, here's a list of the top five movies that I'm thankful for.

STAND BY ME (1986)
Directed by Rob Reiner
Written by Raynold Gideon/Bruce A Evans
Based on a novella by Stephen King

Being a fully sentimental being (especially for times that I wasn't even a part of), Stand By Me is, bar none, my favorite movie of all time. The story of four boys looking for a dead body in the early 60s strikes me in ways that manage to keep a smile on my face and a tear in my eye. River Phoenix, Wil Wheaton, Corey Feldman and Jerry O'Connell showed off acting skills that (some of them) would never show again. And Rob Reiner's eye for Stephen King's under-lying sentimentality made this a story that transcended age and became a timeless story of the special kind of love that only two young friends can truly show for each other.

Basically, I love everything about this movie.

From the opening narration by Richard Dreyfuss to the emotional outbursts of Wil and River, from the late 50s pop songs of the soundtrack to the eventual outcome of Kiefer Sutherland's punk (which made me hate him for years), this is a great film. Hilarious and heartbreaking, sometimes at the same time.

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CHESTER HANKS AND GABE DAY-LEWIS: An Epic Douche-Off Between Two Celebrity Sons

November 22, 2013, 11:00 am

≫ Next: THE FIVE DOCTORS: CINEMA'S CREEPIEST PHYSICIANS

≪ Previous: MY TOP 5: MOVIES I'M THANKFUL FOR

Oh Sweet Jeebus, Make Them Stop

In an age where it seems that the offspring of celebrities can become famous simply by being huge assholes, it appears that the douche-torch has been passed to the sons of Oscar Winners Tom Hanks and Daniel Day-Lewis.

Let me introduce you to Chester Hanks (or, as he likes to call himself, Chet Haze):

Apparently he likes to take his shirt off and feels that Twitter is his place to really shine:

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THE FIVE DOCTORS: CINEMA'S CREEPIEST PHYSICIANS

November 22, 2013, 1:00 pm

≫ Next: GRACE KELLY ON JFK: Another Great Animated Piece By PBS Digital Studios

≪ Previous: CHESTER HANKS AND GABE DAY-LEWIS: An Epic Douche-Off Between Two Celebrity Sons

Watching the classic "Five Doctors" episode of Doctor Who (remember that one from 1983?), I got to thinking about different types of doctors in cinema.

We have doctors of science, doctors of medicine.

But we also have evil "mad doctors" of death and destruction.

So here I describe and compare five mad doctor movies. Because classic cinema is my territory, all five of these movies hail from the past. Besides centering around a mad doctor, each of these movies is named for the character it presents.

What these five mad doctors have in common is a general obliviousness to normal human standards of behavior or ethics. Each is so acutely aware of his own high intelligence and masterly skills that he feels he has risen beyond human norms.

But each doctor is unique. Dr. Death is willing to work for others, while Dr. Gore works only for himself. Dr. Cyclops isolates himself from society, while Dr. Dracula moves within an alternate underground society. Dr. Renault acts kindly almost as often as he acts madly. Yes, they are a strange bunch.

I've written further about each of these films in my Claws & Saucers guidebook, but I hope you'll enjoy the comments and links after the jump.

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GRACE KELLY ON JFK: Another Great Animated Piece By PBS Digital Studios

November 22, 2013, 3:00 pm

≫ Next: Support a New Kickstarter Social Media Series 'SAVE FRIEND US!' By the Animating Teams From 'KING OF THE HILL', 'THE SIMPSONS', 'HELLBOY' and 'FUTURAMA'

≪ Previous: THE FIVE DOCTORS: CINEMA'S CREEPIEST PHYSICIANS

Since today is the 50th Anniversary of the JFK Assignation and most other websites and news outlets will be showing the Zapruder Film non-stop until you grow nauseated, I was glad to see that the PBS Digital Studios show, Blank on Blank, did a great little animation based upon Grace Kelly's reflections of the man.

Yes, it's a bit silly, but there is a certain beauty in what she says and a poignancy that seems lost in this day and age when discussing great men and women.

For whatever reason, we have become so willing to find fault with people and allow disillusionment to cloud our passions and purpose when it comes to change, and inside Grace Kelly's remarks about a President who still makes us feel like we saw a glimmer of what the U.S. could become, it's nice to hear a little goodness on a day that still marks the country in a way that is hard to bounce back from.

And for that, I am thankful.

Video after the break.

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Support a New Kickstarter Social Media Series 'SAVE FRIEND US!' By the Animating Teams From 'KING OF THE HILL', 'THE SIMPSONS', 'HELLBOY' and 'FUTURAMA'

November 22, 2013, 5:00 pm

≫ Next: Win a BBC Holiday DVD Double Feature: 'THE SNOW QUEEN' and 'CHRISTMAS ANGEL'

≪ Previous: GRACE KELLY ON JFK: Another Great Animated Piece By PBS Digital Studios

Feel like supporting the world’s first social media-driven animated series, where the story expands with each character interacting on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter?

Would you be happy to fork over some cash to help out some animators who worked on The Simpsons, King of the Hill, Futurama and Hellboy?

What about some pretty awesome perks for backing this sweet piece of animation which has already reached its first goal (3 complete episodes) and is now trying to raise money to get a full 6-episode season funded (with maybe some added bonuses for extended 1st season (9-episodes) and Super Season One (12-episodes) if they are really lucky)?

With 14 days left, everyone who kicks in $5 or more dollars will get the following stuff:

$5 will get a Special Thanks in the 1st Episode!
$15 will get a special thanks in every episode!
$25 will get a Limited Edition FU! Sticker Pack!
$50 will get 2 Limited Edition FU! Magnets!
$75 will get a hard copy of the FU Founders Poster!
$250 and higher will get a Limited Edition 3D printed Wiggy!

And if you happen to have buttloads of cash to hand out there's also some neat prizes that will no doubt make you a star:

$3500 will give you Naming Rights. You can name the School, the Baseball Field, the Gas Station and an Institution of your choosing will be named after you.
$5000 will make you into a guest star on the series.
$7500 will get you the role of SCHOOL PRINCIPAL, which will no doubt give you the power to reign supreme at a high school reunion.

Sweet.

After the break is the pitch video (which is super great), so watch and then head over to the Friend Us! Kickstarter page to throw money at them

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Win a BBC Holiday DVD Double Feature: 'THE SNOW QUEEN' and 'CHRISTMAS ANGEL'

November 22, 2013, 7:00 pm

≫ Next: Go Old Skool With the THUMBSUP iRECORDER

≪ Previous: Support a New Kickstarter Social Media Series 'SAVE FRIEND US!' By the Animating Teams From 'KING OF THE HILL', 'THE SIMPSONS', 'HELLBOY' and 'FUTURAMA'

The Snow Queen
Based on the classic story by Hans Christian Andersen and featuring music performed by the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra, The Snow Queen is a heart-warming story of friendship and the triumph of love over evil. When Gerda and her mother take in the penniless street urchin Kay, powerful forces emerge that will take both children on a magical journey and test their friendship to the extreme. One cold winter night a splinter of ice pierces Kay's heart and makes him angry and unhappy. He soon becomes enchanted by the Snow Queen and is taken to her palace in the frozen North. Gerda decides that she must do whatever she can to rescue her friend. Faith, love and courage lead Gerda on a perilous quest through strange lands and past terrifying creatures. Will the little girl in the red velvet cloak be able to match the power of the Snow Queen?

Christmas Angel
Fifteen year old Eddie (Joseph Phillips) is on a shopping trip with his mother when she is tragically struck by a car and left in critical condition. With their father absent from their lives, Eddie and his brother Stewart (Angus Harrison) face the daunting prospect of potentially losing their mother just as Christmas approaches. One night, Eddie dreams his mother visits him and tells him to find a halo so that she may be saved. Stewart scoffs at Eddie's "childish" dream and the only person Eddie can turn to is the grumpy Mr. Lambert (Spall), from his school. Will Eddie be able to find an angel and save his mother before Christmas?

And we're giving away three sets!

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Go Old Skool With the THUMBSUP iRECORDER

November 25, 2013, 9:00 am

≫ Next: We're Living in a Lego World

≪ Previous: Win a BBC Holiday DVD Double Feature: 'THE SNOW QUEEN' and 'CHRISTMAS ANGEL'

When I was a young chick I wasn't cool (big surprise) and in order to solidify this particular social deficit, I would carry around a cassette recorder with me in order to listen to the various mixtapes I made. Seriously, I would throw this chunk of mechanical hideousness into the basket of my bike and tool around town hoping that some guy would hear a grainy copy of Icicle Works' Understanding Jane and fall madly in love with me.

Needless to say, that never happened.

But it appears that perhaps my coolness was just some 30 years too early, judging by how much fun the new iRecorder is to carry around:

And while it makes my heart happy that the ThumbsUp iRecorder can amplify your play list from your iPhone (I still have Understanding Jane by the way) in a way that doesn't sound like it's coming from inside a tin can, it does make me wonder what else I did back then that will also be revealed as uber cool soon.

Neon Jorts? Guinea Sax dresses? Not washing my hair for a week at a time?

The list is practically endless.

Source: Red Ferret

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We're Living in a Lego World

November 25, 2013, 11:00 am

≫ Next: UNHUNG HERO (Review)

≪ Previous: Go Old Skool With the THUMBSUP iRECORDER

A staple of childhood's most beloved toys since their debut in 1949, Lego is more popular than ever. On the surface, they are simply colourful building blocks; but if you really look at it, the limitations of Legos are the imaginations of the builders. Over the past several years, Lego has become an art form unto itself, appearing in music videos, art installations and in video games.

Lego games have become so popular in fact, that they have inspired an upcoming feature film, The Lego Movie.

But why the sudden renaissance? Versatility, timelessness and broad appeal.

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UNHUNG HERO (Review)

November 25, 2013, 1:00 pm

≫ Next: Apple Plays Conservative with Comics, Amazon Delivers Underground, Biggest Bookstore Shuts It's Doors & More!

≪ Previous: We're Living in a Lego World

Review by Elizabeth Weitz

Unhung Hero is the story of a man (Patrick Moote) who has a small penis and goes on a quest all over the world trying to see if he can make it bigger.

Yeah, this is definitely a guy movie.

Moote's issues started when he proposed to his girlfriend at the UCLA game while on Kiss Cam and she refused him in front of everyone.

As if that humiliation was not enough, he finds out that she wouldn't marry him because his dick is small, thus the epic journey of a man and his small junk.

Moote's adventure in small prickland causes him seek out advice from doctors and sex specialists, to visit porn stars, to talk with a man who has the biggest schlong, abuse himself with penis pumps, take male enhancement pills, travel to Korea to see penises every bit as small as his (and to feel better about himself) and even, possibly, inject himself with an unknown substance that will supposedly make his member a little bit bigger.

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Apple Plays Conservative with Comics, Amazon Delivers Underground, Biggest Bookstore Shuts It's Doors & More!

November 25, 2013, 3:00 pm

≫ Next: Win 'FARSCAPE: 15th Anniversary Edition' on DVD & Blu!

≪ Previous: UNHUNG HERO (Review)

The Dead of A Song of Ice and Fire

The hard work has been done and someone has annotated every death in George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series.

Bernard Cornwell Giveaway

Enter to win an advance copy of Bernard Cornwell's new book, due out in January.

25 More

25 more great American independent bookstores.

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Win 'FARSCAPE: 15th Anniversary Edition' on DVD & Blu!

November 25, 2013, 5:00 pm

≫ Next: Happy Monday, Here's A Guy Singing 'STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN' Backward

≪ Previous: Apple Plays Conservative with Comics, Amazon Delivers Underground, Biggest Bookstore Shuts It's Doors & More!

Follow John Crichton and the crew of Moya on a journey to places they never dreamed possible. Sizzling with brilliant characters, breathtaking effects, high-stakes action, and irreverent humor, Farscape is like no science fiction before. It is a story of good versus evil, obsession, friendship, and even love. The unpredictable twists and turns of this international TV hit will keep you riveted and cheering for more.

Fans of the blockbuster television series Farscape will have much to cheer about this fall as a brand-new bonus-packed 15th Anniversary Edition will be launched into retail stores November 5, 2013, in both Blu-ray and DVD formats. 20 Blu-ray discs feature 88 complete and unedited episodes from the four-season run (1999-2003).

To enhance the collectability and celebrate the series’ 15th Anniversary, Cinedigm partnered with comic publisher, Archaia Entertainment, to include a 16-page mini comic book created by the same team that made Jim Henson’s acclaimed graphic novel Tale of Sand. Based on the prequel Peacekeeper Wars, the comic is written and illustrated by Eisner Award-winning artist Ramón Pérez (including all new cover art), colored by Ian Herring and lettered by Deron Bennett. It also includes select images from The Jim Henson Company’s archive and an exclusive interview with Brian Henson revealing never-before-shared facts about the Farscape Legacy.

And we're giving away one DVD and one Blu-ray collection to a Forces of Geek reader!

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Happy Monday, Here's A Guy Singing 'STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN' Backward

November 25, 2013, 7:00 pm

≫ Next: FOOT LOCKER'S Week of Greatness Ad Just Might Be the Greatest Commercial of All Time

≪ Previous: Win 'FARSCAPE: 15th Anniversary Edition' on DVD & Blu!

Due to an unfortunate incident involving the flu and a bowl of undercooked lobster bisque, I am not going to spend much time perfecting the art of the Internet post today.

Instead, I will be handing over the reigns to a young man named Jeroen Offerman who apparently spent three months learning to sing Stairway to Heaven backward for no other reason than why the hell not.

Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to try and make a toilet choice regarding the evacuation of two orifices, and I'm pretty sure that if I angle myself right, I just might be able to hit the bathtub to lessen the clean up effort.

Video after the break.

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FOOT LOCKER'S Week of Greatness Ad Just Might Be the Greatest Commercial of All Time

November 26, 2013, 9:00 am

≫ Next: Try the New BACON-SCENTED DEODORANT For Those Times When You Sweat Like A Pig

≪ Previous: Happy Monday, Here's A Guy Singing 'STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN' Backward

Mike Tyson Making Peace With Evander Holyfield

It takes someone with a great sense of humor to allow a company to make fun them openly without resorting to a lawsuit, doubly so when that person agrees to be in a commercial for said company and doesn't mind being the butt of some pretty hilarious jokes.

I don't want to ruin the surprise so I won't go into any further detail but just know this, you will never appreciate Mike Tyson, Evander Holyfield, Brett Favre, Craig Sager and Kyrie Irving more than this.

I'm going to Foot Locker.

Video after the break.

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Try the New BACON-SCENTED DEODORANT For Those Times When You Sweat Like A Pig

November 26, 2013, 11:00 am

≫ Next: NIGHTMARE FUEL: Miley Cyrus' 'Wrecking Ball' in G-Major

≪ Previous: FOOT LOCKER'S Week of Greatness Ad Just Might Be the Greatest Commercial of All Time

While I normally try to avoid having my armpits smell like bacon, I guess there are some people out there who wouldn't mind smelling like crackling back fat by choice. And if you are such a person, I'm pretty sure that the Power Bacon deodorant by meat connoisseurs J and D will give you just what you want in the "Smell Like A Fried Sow" department.

According to the website, the underarm smell stick has a few dos and don'ts:

Using POWER BACON will probably make everyone drawn to you like you were the most powerful magnet on Earth. And by everyone, we mean friends, acquaintances, beautiful strangers, dogs, bears, swamp alligators, lions and even pigs. It’s like an aphrodisiac for your armpits. But use your new power wisely, because with great bacon power comes great baconsibility.

For all day meat-scented protection, apply liberally to your underarms or private areas. Do not eat or hike in the woods without a firearm while wearing POWER BACON

Which seems like a lot to deal with just so your sweat smells more pungent than if you went underarm commando.

But what do I know, mine smell like dying flowers.

Source: PSFK

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NIGHTMARE FUEL: Miley Cyrus' 'Wrecking Ball' in G-Major

November 26, 2013, 1:00 pm

≫ Next: Killing the Justice League? Yep, There's an App For That—Batman Owns the League Like a Boss

≪ Previous: Try the New BACON-SCENTED DEODORANT For Those Times When You Sweat Like A Pig

Since most Americans will be hitting the road tomorrow to spend the frakking long-ass holiday weekend with family, I'm assuming that there's quite a few of those people looking for a way to succumb to the temptation to off-themselves before having to put up with their parents for 4+ days.

And the following video is a nice catalyst for those suicidal tendencies.

It contains a naked and demonic-sounding Miley Cyrus licking a sledgehammer while subliminally implanting suggestions on violent ways to get out of eating dry turkey with people you share DNA with.

If you aren't up for self-sacrifice, this video also helps to create the mood for explosive diarrhea.

Video after the break.

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Killing the Justice League? Yep, There's an App For That—Batman Owns the League Like a Boss

November 26, 2013, 3:00 pm

≫ Next: Cosmic Treadmill: 'GREEN ARROW: YEAR ONE' (review)

≪ Previous: NIGHTMARE FUEL: Miley Cyrus' 'Wrecking Ball' in G-Major

Imagine you’re sitting at lunch with your coworkers and that friendly guy—let’s call him Barles Paserab—that’s asking you all of those questions and taking an interest in your life—So you’re afraid of what, now? And how much pressure can you take on that knee before you collapse?—is really doing more than just that.

Imagine he’s really taking notes, figuring out how to take you out if he needs to, not because he wants to, mind you, but just in case you flip your lid and need to be subdued for the good of all humanity.

Creeped out?

Well, now you know how the Justice League felt when they got smacked around like the New York Jets by enemies who had stolen Batman’s secret plans for neutralizing them during Mark Waid’s Tower of Babel.

Awkward.

“Hmmm…they’re probably going to be kind of pissed when they come to…”

What would make Batman do such a thing to his friends?

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Cosmic Treadmill: 'GREEN ARROW: YEAR ONE' (review)

November 26, 2013, 5:00 pm

≫ Next: Win 'THE PARADISE' Season One on DVD!

≪ Previous: Killing the Justice League? Yep, There's an App For That—Batman Owns the League Like a Boss

Marathoning shows, or binging, has become part of the parlance, and my most recent binge for television was the CW’s popular Arrow.

Sure, I’m the target audience for a superhero TV show, (this column’s first appearance looked at the 90’s Flash TV show.

I’ve even been known to seek out old episodes of Birds of Prey (2002) to see what can happen in New Gotham.

Truth be told, I never cared about Green Arrow until I’ve seen what Stephen Amell can do as Oliver Queen. I steered clear for an unknown reason, but Netflix recently gave me over 16 hours of popcorn & candy archery and DC easter eggs.

Today we’ll take a look at 2007’s Green Arrow: Year One.

You might want to say the book was an influence on the series.

The story is written by Andy Diggle (Daredevil, The Losers) with art by Jock (Detective Comics) and serves as a great companion to the show—and great holiday gift for your Arrow fan.

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Win 'THE PARADISE' Season One on DVD!

November 26, 2013, 7:00 pm

≫ Next: Fox Cinema Archives Announces New Titles; Six Titles Feature Olympic Figure Skater Sonja Henie

≪ Previous: Cosmic Treadmill: 'GREEN ARROW: YEAR ONE' (review)

Denise Lovett may look the part of a country bumpkin when she arrives penniless and in search of work at the doors of The Paradise, Britain's glamorous first department store. But before long, intoxicated by the potential of the modern world, she will turn her ambitious and inspired eye to the store's ladieswear department, meanwhile catching the eye of the shop's dashing and reckless owner, John Moray, a grieving widower with a secret. Enigmatic and shrewd, Moray embodies the modern era that he is ushering into the bustling Northern town in the form of petticoats and perfume. But what remains to be seen is whether those around him – the pampered heiress who mistakes hooks for heart, the sinister store detective whose loyalty knows no bounds, or the demure Denise herself, fighting to keep her ideas and her love from brimming over – will help or hinder the fulfillment of his grand ambition.

From writer and creator Bill Gallagher (Lark Rise to Candleford), the love story, mystery, and social comedy all in one stars Joanna Vanderham (What Maisie Knew) as Denise and Emun Elliott (Game of Thrones) as Moray, alongside Sarah Lancashire (Upstairs Downstairs), Elaine Cassidy (A Room with a View) and Patrick Malahide (Game of Thrones).

And we're giving away three copies!

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Fox Cinema Archives Announces New Titles; Six Titles Feature Olympic Figure Skater Sonja Henie

November 27, 2013, 6:00 am

≫ Next: PHILOMENA (review)

≪ Previous: Win 'THE PARADISE' Season One on DVD!

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PHILOMENA (review)

November 27, 2013, 7:00 am

≫ Next: Win 'THE WOLVERINE' on Blu-ray! Plus, a Look at The Filmography of James Mangold

≪ Previous: Fox Cinema Archives Announces New Titles; Six Titles Feature Olympic Figure Skater Sonja Henie

Review by Caitlyn Thompson

Produced by Gabrielle Tan, Steve Coogan, Tracey Seaward

Written by Steve Coogan, Jeff Pope

Directed by Stephen Frears

Starring Judi Dench, Steve Coogan, Sophie Kennedy Clark,

Mare Winningham, Barbara Jefford, Ruth McCabe,

Peter Hermann, Sean Mahon

Twentieth Century Fox/The Weinstein Company / Rated PG-13

Based on a true story, Philomena, tells the story of Philomena Lee’s search for the long lost son she gave birth to out of wedlock in the fifties.

Flashbacks reveal that she was “taken in” by the Church, but in exchange for shelter she’s forced into hard labor and has limited time with her son before he’s sold to an American family against her will.

After fifty years of silence, Philomena’s (Dame Judy Dench) story is brought to Martin Sixsmith (Steven Coogan) a cynical and fallen journalist whose only current interest involves being gruff and regaining credibility in the news world.

In an attempt to revamp his career, Martin reluctantly agrees to write Philomena’s story as a human-interest piece.

While the performances of Philomena are wonderful, I found the structure of the film, alongside an unimpressive score, rather distracting at times. The flashbacks are overly dramatic (borderline intrusive) and were quite lengthy for a ninety-minute feature. With a campy, PBS-special-like melody accompanying those flashbacks, I was taken out of the story – which is actually complex and enjoyable.

The search for Philomena’s son surprisingly avoids trite moments of realization and mushy emotionality – spoiler: No. It’s not Coogan. That would’ve been barf. Instead, the journey is delightfully mysterious.

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