THE BRIDGE: "Vendetta" S1E8 (review)

August 29, 2013, 12:00 pm

≫ Next: New Disposable Camera Will Insert UNICORNS Into All Your Pictures...Wait, They Still Make Disposable Cameras?

≪ Previous: 'EVERY YOUNG MAN'S BATTLE': A Self-Help Movie About Resisting Soul-Destroying Porn That's More Disturbing Than Watching Actual Porn

By Matt 'Quori' Armstrong

Skeezer Ray-Ray has his guns, but Tim (his Tampa Bay partner in crime) is having none of moving the product through the tunnel and over the border.

He chills out by the pool while Ray-Ray does the work. Ray is less than pleased, and makes some sexual suggestions for Tim that perhaps Tim might not be into.

He gets the product over the border and gets paid by Graciela. When he comes back through the tunnel, Ms Charlotte is waiting quite angrily for Ray-Ray. She knows that he and Tim are up to some trouble. She tells him to stop and get Tim out of there entirely, claiming she wants to be legit, seems a bit too late for that Charlotte!

Meanwhile, Graciela’s men find transmitters in the guns because: well, Tim is a total sell out…and just a hunch, this won’t work out too well for Ray-Ray, Tim, Charlotte, and probably a few horses.

Steven Linder finds himself with a beautiful half naked woman and a glass of milk. He’s drinking his white gold and having sex with this woman only to intermittently see Fausto maniacally laughing at him.

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New Disposable Camera Will Insert UNICORNS Into All Your Pictures...Wait, They Still Make Disposable Cameras?

August 29, 2013, 1:24 pm

≫ Next: TV JUNKIE (review)

≪ Previous: THE BRIDGE: "Vendetta" S1E8 (review)

I know, I know, disposable cameras are so early 2000's but hear me out. Right now, you can put your name on a list for a disposable camera that will insert unicorns into your selfies which, in turn, will make you look super cool (you know, if you are into unicorns).

And while I can appreciate the fact that taking pictures of yourself without seeing them immediately may cause you some intestinal discomfort (I mean, how can you function without knowing how awesome you look THE TWENTY-SEVEN TIMES A DAY you photograph yourself in the bathroom?) but sometimes it's the waiting that can make the reveal so sublime.

And there will be a fucking unicorn in it so chill.

Of course, if the idea of a Magical Unicorn Disposable Camera is way too retro for you, here's an APP that will put a freaking horn on the top of your head in every one of your pictures.

You know, back when I was younger we sometimes didn't even develop the rolls of film we used to capture our friends and family. Right now, there's easily twelve unprocessed rolls in a box at my mom's house that is probably filled with heart warming memories AND NOT ONE OF US GIVE A SHIT.

Christ, not everything needs to be documented...except if they contain pictures of unicorns.

Source: Geek Alerts

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TV JUNKIE (review)

August 29, 2013, 2:00 pm

≫ Next: A SUPER-CUT of People In the Movies Almost Kissing

≪ Previous: New Disposable Camera Will Insert UNICORNS Into All Your Pictures...Wait, They Still Make Disposable Cameras?

Review by Tony Pacitti

At one particularly depressing low-point in this found footage documentary, former TV newsman and crack fiend Rick Kirkham is about to be arrested in his kitchen and just like almost every other moment in his life, he has a camera rolling.

The cop asks him to turn it off. Kirkham tells him it’s a press camera, so the cop, deadpan, points out that it’s a Sony handy-cam before following up with an almost sympathetic, “Are you in a working capacity?”

Kirkham is rarely seen in a working capacity, even when he is at work, first for local TV news, then at his career zenith as Inside Edition’s resident daredevil reporter in the early 1990s.

The film, which covers the better part of a decade as culled from over 3000 hours of film and video footage Kirkham had shot of himself since he was a teenager, is a curated self-portrait of the contradicting monster that is drug addiction.

One minute he loves his kids and couldn’t be happier to be clean, the next he’s ducking out after his son’s first birthday to score crack. We see him give his testimonials, outlining calmly what he hates about himself and the drug, while he makes a tin foil pipe and blazes away.

The film is almost entirely a series of low points, often punctuated by Kirkham knowingly telling the camera that it can’t really get any lower followed immediately by him running out for drugs and managing to find some new low.

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A SUPER-CUT of People In the Movies Almost Kissing

August 29, 2013, 3:00 pm

≫ Next: Triple Shot With a Digital Chaser: ITTY BITTY HELLBOY #1, BATMAN INCORPORATED SPECIAL #1, ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #4 plus FIGHTING STRANGER VOL. #1

≪ Previous: TV JUNKIE (review)

Gif by Trina Riffin

There is nothing more upsetting than getting cock-blocked during an intimate moment of possible smooching (except those times when you get interrupted when your pants are down and things are hanging out...that's much worse).

So here's a super-cut of those very moments from the movies when the characters are stopped from swapping spit by an asshole.

Enjoy.

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Triple Shot With a Digital Chaser: ITTY BITTY HELLBOY #1, BATMAN INCORPORATED SPECIAL #1, ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #4 plus FIGHTING STRANGER VOL. #1

August 29, 2013, 4:00 pm

≫ Next: Contest! Win 'SLIGHTLY SINGLE IN LA' on Blu-ray!

≪ Previous: A SUPER-CUT of People In the Movies Almost Kissing

Art & Franco take a lighthearted all ages approach to Mike Mignola’s Dark Horse superhero and movie star Hellboy in Itty Bitty Hellboy #1, Chris Burnham curates a send-off to his team-up with Grant Morrison in Batman Incorporated Special #1, and Adventures of Superman #4 gives us some all star shorts in red shorts! Wash it down with a post-apocalyptic ComiXology Submit creator owned title Fighting Stranger Vol. #1.

ITTY BITTY HELLBOY #1 (of 5)
WRITERS: Art Baltazar & Franco
ART: Art Baltazar
Publication Date: August 28, 2013
Price: $2.99
Publisher: Dark Horse Comics
UPC: 76156823936200111
Buy it HERE

Aw, Yeah Hellboy!

You might recognize the team of Art & Franco from Tiny Titans at DC as well as the most recent Superman Family Adventures.

Perhaps you’ve seen the DC Super-Pets on Cartoon Network. The point is, Art & Franco have been doing kids or all ages comics for years and now they have broken away from DC to give the cute mischievous humor and art to the Hellboy Universe and the fun keeps on coming!

From our usual inside jokes, referring to running gags on the Aw Yeah Podcast to Lil’ kid versions of everyone from Johann the spirit, Liz and Hellboy this book is just pure fun. They face off against kid friendly Karl (with exclamation point on his head), Rasputin and Herman The Head in varying sizes of cardboard box forts.

The book is worth the price of admission for the Johann chicken soup gag alone. True Story!

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Contest! Win 'SLIGHTLY SINGLE IN LA' on Blu-ray!

August 30, 2013, 6:56 am

≫ Next: 'GOD HATES ASTRONAUTS' Touches Down in October

≪ Previous: Triple Shot With a Digital Chaser: ITTY BITTY HELLBOY #1, BATMAN INCORPORATED SPECIAL #1, ADVENTURES OF SUPERMAN #4 plus FIGHTING STRANGER VOL. #1

Moving to LA - it seemed like a good idea at the time. Dale (Lacey Chabert) can't seem to make things work - at work, with her friends, and definitely not with men.

In a city where hype, hookups, and heartbreak are as common as reality shows, it's hard to find something real. Now she's caught and in the middle of a love triangle with her best friend (Jenna Dewan) and a guy from her past (Kip Pardue) - a great guy. Maybe the best guy ever. Sometimes, a girl's just got to take a leap a faith. And with a little luck, maybe Dale's LA dreams CAN come true.

And we're giving away three copies!

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'GOD HATES ASTRONAUTS' Touches Down in October

August 30, 2013, 8:00 am

≫ Next: THE POWER INSIDE: A Tongue-In-Cheek Web-Series About An Alien Invasion Brought To You By Intel And Toshiba And Starring Harvey Keitel...You Know? It's Not Half Bad

≪ Previous: Contest! Win 'SLIGHTLY SINGLE IN LA' on Blu-ray!

Celebrated webcomic blends edgy humor and life-changing absurdity that will blow your mind and subsequently get arrested for the crime

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THE POWER INSIDE: A Tongue-In-Cheek Web-Series About An Alien Invasion Brought To You By Intel And Toshiba And Starring Harvey Keitel...You Know? It's Not Half Bad

August 30, 2013, 9:00 am

≫ Next: MY TOP 5: BEST OF HONG KONG CINEMA

≪ Previous: 'GOD HATES ASTRONAUTS' Touches Down in October

Companies are starting to understand that social networking can make or break their company's bottom line. If they have a strong web presence and are constantly engaging consumers via Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, etc. there's a good chance that techno-savvy customers are going to choose them over their competitors who are still stuck on the traditional advertising medium of commercials.

Now, don't get me wrong, some commercials are spectacular but as more and more people choose streaming options over actual network offerings, companies are losing marketing strength in that particular medium of advertising.

So what should a company do to create an interesting advertising campaign that melds the traditional with the more current modes of shilling a product?

How about creating an actually great web-series that product-places the hell out of your goods while still providing a storyline that is worth following over various episodes?

Yep, Intel and Toshiba have done just that with their web-series The Power Inside, which follows "...Neil a twenty-something guy going nowhere in life. He works a dead-end job, has no girlfriend, and his best friend isn't exactly the best. But today, something is different. People are starting to pay attention to him. It just might not be the kind of attention he was looking for".

Yeah, there's aliens/pod people after him.

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MY TOP 5: BEST OF HONG KONG CINEMA

August 30, 2013, 10:00 am

≫ Next: SIMON PEGG and NICK FROST Cover DAFT PUNK's 'Get Lucky' In Their Own Special Way

≪ Previous: THE POWER INSIDE: A Tongue-In-Cheek Web-Series About An Alien Invasion Brought To You By Intel And Toshiba And Starring Harvey Keitel...You Know? It's Not Half Bad

Hong Kong. I think it's name means "Land Of Many Exploding Heads."

Or maybe not. There's no doubt, though, that the late 80s and early 90s were a golden age of one of the most vibrant and interesting film industries in the world.

For about 10 years, Hong Kong filmmakers could do no wrong. John Woo, Jackie Chan, Ringo Lam, Tsui Hark (actually a Vietnamese man who went to the University of Texas and then went to Hong Kong), Jet Li and many others all did amazing work in Hong Kong. In 1997 when the country went back under Chinese rule, many of them defected to the US and made…well…they made movies, certainly. Not very many of them were very good, though. Some of them have gone back to make some great films, but nothing will ever replace the days of yore.

Why am I suddenly writing about Hong Kong? Because on this day in 1945, Hong Kong was liberated from Japan by England. And that's something to celebrate.

You'll have to forgive me if this article is a bit longer than usual. I love Hong Kong films and I want to tell you all I can about these films and filmmakers. Some of them you probably know, but others deserve attention, too.

WATCH ALL THE HK FILMS YOU CAN!!

Many times, even the bad ones are a lot of fun.

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SIMON PEGG and NICK FROST Cover DAFT PUNK's 'Get Lucky' In Their Own Special Way

August 30, 2013, 11:00 am

≫ Next: KOCH (review)

≪ Previous: MY TOP 5: BEST OF HONG KONG CINEMA

While on their promotional tour for The World's End, Simon Pegg and Nick Frost stopped off at the London radio show, Capitol Breakfast and laid down their very own version of Daft Punk's Get Lucky.

Is it good?

Well, I think it's on par with Karl Pilkington's I Could Eat A Nob At Night which is to say it's pretty brilliant.

Video after the break.

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KOCH (review)

August 30, 2013, 12:00 pm

≫ Next: HOW TO OPEN A FRUIT CUP: The DIY Edition

≪ Previous: SIMON PEGG and NICK FROST Cover DAFT PUNK's 'Get Lucky' In Their Own Special Way

Review by Rich Redman

Any time you experience biographical material, whether it’s a movie, a book, a presentation, or anything else, you need to ask two questions:

Does it matter?

Is it critical?

In the case of Koch, the 2012 biography of Edward I. Koch and his 1978-1989 terms as Mayor of New York City, it’s easier to answer the second question first.

The movie avoids most of the faults of hagiographies, which are not critical at all. It is up-front about the African-American communities’ disappointment in Mayor Koch after he closed Sydenham Hospital, the frustration of the gay community over the Mayor’s inaction during the AIDS crisis, the PVB scandal that tarnished his last term in office, and his failed gubernatorial campaign.

The movie is also critical on a personal level.

It highlights his refusal to speak openly about his sexuality. It does not shy away from his love of spectacle and his need to be the center of attention. He comes across several times as a shallow person more concerned with how he looks than with issues.

It’s relevance is simply undeniable.

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HOW TO OPEN A FRUIT CUP: The DIY Edition

August 30, 2013, 1:00 pm

≫ Next: MONSTER NUDIES: Sixties Cinema Oddities

≪ Previous: KOCH (review)

As most of us have experienced the tragic results before, the carefully packaged fruit cup is probably one of life's most vexing puzzels. I mean, how can one possibly open a vaccuum sealed delicious food product without it blowing up in our face?

The answer?

Watch artist Stephanie Pepper'sFruit Cup animated short to learn if it's possible.

You won't be surprised by the ending.

Video after the break.

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MONSTER NUDIES: Sixties Cinema Oddities

August 30, 2013, 2:00 pm

≫ Next: Listen to SIR ANTHONY HOPKINS Read T.S. Eliot's Poem 'The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock'. Why? Because It's A Frakking Good Poem Done In A Very Sinister Voice, That's Why

≪ Previous: HOW TO OPEN A FRUIT CUP: The DIY Edition

Among the most curious subgenres in 1960s film is the "monster nudie."

This subgenre can be hard to define, since many films of the 60s combined horror with nudity and humor. But let's confine ourselves to the films that were clearly derived from their groundbreaking predecessors: "nudie cuties."

Nudie cuties, beginning with Russ Meyer's IMMORAL MR. TEAS in 1959, had a clear formula: (1) a nerdy middle-aged Peeping Tom for a nominal protagonist, (2) nudity on screen for up to half the running time, (3) genitalia obscured by strategically placed barriers or objects, (4) a steady stream of jokes and double-entendres, and (5) nobody (or almost nobody) touching anybody else. Nudist camps and strip bars were common locations. Dozens of the films - or hundreds if you count the shorts - appeared in the 1960s. Their heyday was 1961-1962.

By 1963, the films were in decline, due in part to competition from beach party movies. But some nudie cutie producers, such as exploitation king Harry H. Novak, realized that they could renew their audience's interest by spicing up the nudity and comedy with a little horror. Even Ed Wood (of PLAN 9 fame) got in on the action.

So here are the "monster nudie" films of the 1960s. Don't watch for pornography; instead, watch for kookiness and camp. I write more about all these films in my Claws & Saucers film guidebook, but I hope you'll enjoy the brief comments and links below (and FYI, they are likely NSFW).

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Listen to SIR ANTHONY HOPKINS Read T.S. Eliot's Poem 'The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock'. Why? Because It's A Frakking Good Poem Done In A Very Sinister Voice, That's Why

August 30, 2013, 3:00 pm

≫ Next: Dean Slater: Resident Advisor (review)

≪ Previous: MONSTER NUDIES: Sixties Cinema Oddities

T.S Eliot's poem The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock is easily one of my favorites. It's stream-of-consciousness style lends itself to the romantic internal dialog of the human condition that occurs when we simply retire to the inside of our minds and let our thoughts run free.

Basically it's about daydreaming (well, that's my opinion, there are others who think differently) and the deliciousness of Eliot's word choices are almost too delectable to take in (you'll probably need to hear/read the poem several times to find the pace that satisfies you).

And hearing it come out of Sir Anthony Hopkins/Hannibal Lecter's mouth is one of the more scariest of pleasures that you can experience.

So settle in and listen, 'cause this is certainly going to be one intense ride.

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Dean Slater: Resident Advisor (review)

August 30, 2013, 4:00 pm

≫ Next: LEAGUE OF LEGENDS Gets Some Fan-Made Film Love (And A Mini-Web Series If You Still Can't Get Enough)

≪ Previous: Listen to SIR ANTHONY HOPKINS Read T.S. Eliot's Poem 'The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock'. Why? Because It's A Frakking Good Poem Done In A Very Sinister Voice, That's Why

Produced by Arthur Hair, Christian Sander, Scott Sander

Written by Christian Sander, Colin Sander, Scott Sander

Directed by Colin Sander

Starring Mitchell Jarvis, Nick Renaud, Glenn McCuen,

Jimmy Wong, Nathalia Ramos, Sharon Hinnendael,

Madison Adams, Italia Ricci

This movie clearly owes its existence to movies like Animal House, Back to School, PCU, Van Wilder, and Accepted: Comedies about the adjustment from high school to college, from dependent to independent, that aren’t afraid to go for the raunchy jokes.

And yet, Dean Slater: Resident Advisor is shooting for something more philosophical.

In the movie, Tyler Harris (Nick Renaud) was accepted to CalTech based on an independent science project.

Then CalTech retracted his acceptance, based on some Internet video he posted.

Explosions happen, right?

The retraction is a huge upset to his parents, but at least he was accepted to SCSU under their “Never Too Late” program.

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LEAGUE OF LEGENDS Gets Some Fan-Made Film Love (And A Mini-Web Series If You Still Can't Get Enough)

August 30, 2013, 5:00 pm

≫ Next: That STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS Blu-ray Problem

≪ Previous: Dean Slater: Resident Advisor (review)

If you are an avid player of the game League of Legends and still haven't reached your RPS/RTS limit yet, then you might want to check out the offerings from Machima below.

The first video League of Legends: Blind Ambition delves into the past of Lee Sin, the blind monk and will reveal how he gained the scars that blinded him. It also delves into his struggle to find redemption after the fatal consequences of his ambition, and goes toe-to-toe with the deadly assassin Katarina.

In the mini-series, League of Legends: Shadowfall, the series follows the lore of Shen and Zed, two brothers training to become ninja warriors, whose sibling rivalry turns deadly when Zed embraces the shadow powers in order to overcome his brother.

Well, I should probably leave you to your Gaming Nerd-a-Thon then.

Videos after the break...you might want to make a snack.

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That STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS Blu-ray Problem

September 1, 2013, 11:28 pm

≫ Next: THE GRANDMASTER (review)

≪ Previous: LEAGUE OF LEGENDS Gets Some Fan-Made Film Love (And A Mini-Web Series If You Still Can't Get Enough)

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THE GRANDMASTER (review)

September 3, 2013, 7:11 am

≫ Next: That Time of The Week: New DVD & Blu-Ray Releases The Week of 8/25

≪ Previous: That STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS Blu-ray Problem

Review by by Joe Yezukevich

Produced by Ng See-yuen, Megan Ellison, Wong Kar-wai

Screenplay by Wong Kar-wai, Zou Jingzhi, Xu Haofeng

Story by Wong Kar-wai

Directed by Wong Kar-wai

Starring Tony Leung, Zhang Ziyi, Chang Chen,

Zhao Benshan, Song Hye-kyo, Wang Qingxiang

Distributed by Annapurna Pictures / Rated PG-13

Walking into The Grandmaster, I had zero idea of what to expect, besides Bruce Lee.

If you have the same expectation, you will leave sorely disappointed as -- spoiler-- there is very little Bruce Lee to be had.

I, however, enjoyed myself for the cinematography and the beautifully choreographed martial arts matches that one might expect from the great Wong Kar-wai.

The story revolves around Ip Man (Tony Leung) who is introduced as one of the greatest martial artists circa early 20th century.

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That Time of The Week: New DVD & Blu-Ray Releases The Week of 8/25

September 3, 2013, 9:11 pm

≫ Next: 'SCHOOL OF ROCK' Cast Reunite For A Performance That Shows They Still Can Rock Some Ten Years Later

≪ Previous: THE GRANDMASTER (review)

Labor Day's over, September's here and we've got the latest batch of releases.

Among the latest offerings are some fantastic television series, a favorite Disney classic, and a surprisingly excellent comedy from Michael Bay.

Fire up that queue and prep that shopping cart. It's that time of the week.

The Walking Dead: The Complete Third Season

Starz / Anchor Bay / Released 8/27/13

In this uncertain world, Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln) and his band of survivors must not only fight the dead, but also face a whole new fear: the living, as they take refuge in a prison and attempt to set up a permanent camp. But while invading zombies are an ever-present danger, they must also battle the living, not only in the form of abandoned prisoners, but also the sadistic “Governor” (David Morrissey) and his followers. New characters introduced this season include Danai Gurira as “Michonne,” with her two “zombie pets” in tow, and Dallas Roberts (Shadow People) as the Governor’s lieutenant Milton, as well as the return of Merle Dixon (Michael Rooker). Extras include behind-the-scenes footage, featurettes, commentaries, and deleted scenes.

Last Word: One of television's best crafted shows returns from it's disappointing sophomore season with an exciting, emotionally charged third season. As the original cast confronts a new threat, allegiances are split and divided as they continue to fight the imminent situation as well as the constant fight against the undead that have forever changed their world. This season also excels with some of the strongest writing and acting to date, which leads to a heart wrenching finale. Highest recommendation.

Pain & Gain

Paramount / Released 8/27/13

Based on the unbelievable true story of a group of personal trainers in 1990s Miami who, in pursuit of the American Dream, get caught up in a criminal enterprise that goes horribly wrong. Directed by Michael Bay, this action comedy stars Mark Wahlberg, Dwayne Johnson and Anthony Mackie.

Last Word: One of the sharpest, funniest movies of the year that didn't get the audience it deserved. The entire cast (which also includes Tony Shalhoub, Ed Harris, Rob Corddry, Bar Paly, Rebel Wilson and Ken Jeong are all great and the three leads all give some of the best performances of their respective careers. Like all of Michael Bay's films, it's incredibly well shot, but it's pitch black humor and ultra violence are what stays with you after the credits roll. Highly recommended.

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

Walt Disney Home Video / Released 8/27/13

Whether we're young or forever young at heart, the Hundred Acre Wood calls to that place in each of us that still believes in magic. Share all the fun, whimsy and wonder of The Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh in this amazing Special Edition of the original Disney classic - now digitally restored and remastered in high definition to thrill a whole new generation! Experience the very first time Tigger "pounces" Pooh; laugh out loud when Pooh's rumbly tumbly gets him stuck in a hilariously sticky situation... All your favorite Hundred Acre Wood characters come alive in this timeless motion picture overflowing with rich animation, masterful storytelling and unforgettable songs. Extras include the classic short A Day For Eeyore, 5 mini adventures, a featurette and music video

Last Word: Nostalgia wins this time as one of the seminal films of my childhood comes to Blu-ray. Based on A.A. Milne's classic stories, this film collects three previously released shorts (Winnie the Pooh and Tigger Too, Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day and Winnie the Pooh and the Honey Tree), which despite the variance in character design and voice artists, charms throughout. Featuring such iconic characters as Winnie The Pooh, Eeyore, Tigger, Rabbit, Kanga, Piglet, Gopher, Roo, Owl and Christopher Robin, The Many Adventures Of Winnie The Pooh is like a warm blanket and if you ever experienced Pooh's adventures growing up, this is a must have. Highest recommendation.

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'SCHOOL OF ROCK' Cast Reunite For A Performance That Shows They Still Can Rock Some Ten Years Later

September 3, 2013, 9:00 am

≫ Next: Wolverine Vs. Mortality—Making Our Favorite Canadian “Killable”

≪ Previous: That Time of The Week: New DVD & Blu-Ray Releases The Week of 8/25

When School of Rock came out I went and saw it three times. I loved that movie. Hell, I still love that movie. But I remember a few of my more movie snob friends were ashamed that director Richard Linklater would sink to doing a movie that an entire family could enjoy and began bashing the guy unmercilessly, which is what people who have no talent to actually make movies of their own tend to do.

And, as usual, I ignored them and enjoyed a group of genuinely talented youngters who could play instruments much better than I or, really, most musicians out there (yeah, I'm talking to you EVERY TEEN IDOL).

So it's nice to see, that on the ten-year anniversary of the flick, that Linklater and the rest of the cast got together to talk about the film and then reunite on stage at an after-party to perform together.

And yeah, I still get goosebumps when I hear the song.

Video after the break.

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