THE TO DO LIST (review)

July 26, 2013, 8:00 am

≫ Next: ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK: "F*cksgiving" S1E9 (Review)

≪ Previous: THE WOLVERINE (review)

Review by Caitlyn Thompson

Produced by Jennifer Todd, Brian Robbins,

Sharla Sumpter Bridgett, Mark Gordon,

Tom Lassally, Greg Walter

Written and Directed by Maggie Carey

Starring Aubrey Plaza, Johnny Simmons, Bill Hader,

Scott Porter, Alia Shawkat, Rachel Bilson,

Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Andy Samberg,

Connie Britton, Clark Gregg

CBS Films / Rated R

Number One: Wait for Netflix instant play when you’re hung over to see this movie.

The To Do List focuses on Brandi Klark, an uptight and overly-book smart valedictorian, and her mission to de-virginize herself in every way before college.

How else would such an organized young lady pursue these endeavors? A colorful “To Do List”.

Now, I’m amused by vulgar comedies about the teenage journey of losing IT, or not losing IT, (American Pie, Easy A, Superbad), but this movie was too much.

And it isn’t really funny, or clever. I find these films are far more successful when there’s subtle cleverness that shows the audience someone had a point in writing the film. Characters are relatable and sympathetic; there is usually some growth in an individual, friendship, or even family.

Didn’t happen in To Do List.

There is zero beneath the surface.

Read more »

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ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK: "F*cksgiving" S1E9 (Review)

July 26, 2013, 12:49 pm

≫ Next: TOP 5 Movie Plots That Would Have Been Ruined By Modern Technology

≪ Previous: THE TO DO LIST (review)

by Elizabeth Weitz

(Sorry about missing yesterday's "Orange" review, my internet decided to keep Netflix from connecting and I had a period of hard-core withdrawl, which involved the sweats, dry heaving and feeling disconnected from the one thing that I love the most...access to on-demand television shows. Thank god my hysterical calls to Service Electric finally fixed the problem...maybe it was all the sobbing)

While the temperature may be at blistering degrees in the real world, for the inmates at Litchfield it's Thanksgiving. And who wouldn't be thankful about being incarcerated during the holiday season am I right? What with the various turkey parts sold to the prison that decent people don't want to see in the pack of innards buried deep inside their 12+ pound bird and the almost-turned vegetables that are cooked to soggy perfection (FYI: the prison allots a budget of just $1.50 per person, per meal. It's a wonder how anyone manages to get any nutritional benefit from their food).

Of course, Red (Kate Mulgrew) has a magic ingredient that will make tonight's Holiday fare eatable, her wondrous gravy, so maybe everything will turn out all right after-all (you know, if she can manage to keep all of Pornstache's (Pablo Schrieber) drugs from getting into her fellow inmate's hands now that DickHead has managed to convince one of Red's connections at Neptune Produce to smuggle in pills underneath the wilted spinach).

For Chapman (Taylor Schilling), her first holiday in the clink is difficult. Thanksgiving is her favorite day and not being with Larry and her friends celebrating has really shredded her emotionally. Hopefully, getting pretty via Sophia's (Laverne Cox) capable hands will lift her spirits (or make her look like JonBenet Ramsey).

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TOP 5 Movie Plots That Would Have Been Ruined By Modern Technology

July 26, 2013, 10:08 am

≫ Next: WTF FRIDAY: Apparently Some Southern Cal. Squirrels Have THE BLACK PLAGUE...Just Thought You Might Like To Know What All the Screaming Was About

≪ Previous: ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK: "F*cksgiving" S1E9 (Review)

“Hi bro, listen, things have gotten bad…I’m stranded somewhere along the Amazon river with Ice Cube and Jenny-From-The-Block, and the world’s largest anaconda is trying to eat and digest us. I know, Mondays right? Yeah, could you track my GPS and pick me up? Kthanxbye”

– Dr. Steven Cale using a cellphone in Anaconda

Remember the good old days when you’d happily watch as movie characters were doomed to die because:

a) the perfectly working car suddenly refused to start
b) the villain cut the phone lines
c) they’d decided to take the road not taken, gotten lost and murdered by locals?

Well, not anymore. Now, you can’t help but watch some movies and be skeptical that the girl in the movie doesn’t pull out her cellphone and call 911 when there’s a nutter with a chainsaw after her, or exasperated that if the Seven Dwarfs had learned CPR, they would’ve checked Snow White’s airway and found that piece of apple in her throat.

The technology we use and the fuel-efficient cars we drive today have made many classic and cult Hollywood movie plots largely implausible.

Here are our Top 5 Movies that could not be made today without alterations to account for new technology:

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WTF FRIDAY: Apparently Some Southern Cal. Squirrels Have THE BLACK PLAGUE...Just Thought You Might Like To Know What All the Screaming Was About

July 26, 2013, 11:00 am

≫ Next: JEDIS AND INDIANS: 'Star Wars' Gets Dubbed In Navajo to Promote Keeping the Language Alive

≪ Previous: TOP 5 Movie Plots That Would Have Been Ruined By Modern Technology

I'm Here To Kill You And Your Entire Family

If you ever wondered how the world will end, you might find it somewhat comforting that it will have nothing to do with a Rapture (yay, Jeebus still loves you!) but, instead, come in the guise of a bunch of Southern California squirrels who have managed to bring about The Black Plague 2.0.

Apparently the adorable rodents, who have very little fear of humans, have decided to forgo the Zombie Apocalypse and simply take out each and every one of us through the complete decimation of our immune system (just so you understand this, the Black Plague/Death managed to kill over 25 MILLION PEOPLE so you might want to load up on loads of Airborne or whatever it is you take when you want to pretend that over-the-counter/holistic medicine helps).

Think I'm kidding?

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - Authorities have evacuated and shut down a section of a national forest outside Los Angeles for at least a week after a ground squirrel was found there infected with the plague, county public health officials said on Thursday.

The squirrel tested positive for plague after it was trapped in the Angeles National Forest during "routine surveillance activities," the Los Angeles County Department of Public Health said in a written health advisory.

Health officials said that as a precaution, visitors were ordered to leave three campgrounds and a recreation area of the Angeles National Forest, which encompasses some 655,000 acres in the San Gabriel Mountains just north of metropolitan Los Angeles.

Plague, known as the "Black Death" when it was blamed for killing some 25 million Europeans during the Middle Ages, is a bacterial infection that can be transmitted to humans through the bites of infected fleas.

A health department spokesman said no people were believed to have been infected.

No people were believed to have been infected...yet.

Yeah, we're all going to die from Killer Squirrels.

Wonderful.

Source: Boing Boing

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JEDIS AND INDIANS: 'Star Wars' Gets Dubbed In Navajo to Promote Keeping the Language Alive

July 26, 2013, 12:00 pm

≫ Next: The 10 Best LOONEY TUNES Not on DVD

≪ Previous: WTF FRIDAY: Apparently Some Southern Cal. Squirrels Have THE BLACK PLAGUE...Just Thought You Might Like To Know What All the Screaming Was About

I'm very excited to report that Star Wars, the film that kicks all other films' ass (don't even debate me on this, I will kill you) was recently dubbed into Navajo to help keep the Native American language alive.

If you aren't already aware, the Navajo language is dying out and in order to preserve a culture, the first step is to have its people using it every day (or learn, if they aren't already fluent). And what better way to keep that culture thriving than by preserving C-3PO's linguistic aptitude (he is fluent in 6 million forms of communication after-all).

After the break is a short video about how the Navajo Nation Museum was able to make this a reality, but first, a warning...whoever put together the titles for the news piece has either never seen Star Wars or ever used Wikipedia because they managed to misspell some of characters names.

As a member of the Jedi religion, I forgive you...this time...remember that.

Read more »

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The 10 Best LOONEY TUNES Not on DVD

July 26, 2013, 1:00 pm

≫ Next: Contest! Win Passes To BOSTON COMIC CON!

≪ Previous: JEDIS AND INDIANS: 'Star Wars' Gets Dubbed In Navajo to Promote Keeping the Language Alive

Classic cartoon fans never had it as good as they did in the first decade of the twenty-first century. From approximately 2001-2008, the most prominent home video companies opened their vaults and shared riches with the unsuspecting public with high-profile animation collections with literally hundreds of cartoons.

Shortly before the big economic bust, DVD sales began to dwindle, and the vault doors closed. Warner Home Video still occasionally tosses fans a bone and Steve Stanchfield’s Thunderbean Animation label has more than picked up the slack in releasing the ‘unimportant’ public domain gems, but there are still droves of great cartoons in limbo.

Most of the accepted masterpieces from the Warner Bros. cartoon library have been released (and then some) in the prolific Looney Tunes Golden Collection line, the subsequent Blu-Ray releases, and even as bonuses with classic live-action features.

Here’s a list of the ten best Looney Tunes cartoons that you won’t find on any ‘legal’ release in the digital era.

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Contest! Win Passes To BOSTON COMIC CON!

July 26, 2013, 2:00 pm

≫ Next: CAT SEES HIS SOLDIER OWNER After A Long Deployment...And Reacts How You Would Expect

≪ Previous: The 10 Best LOONEY TUNES Not on DVD

New England's best convention, the Boston Comic Con returns next weekend, August 3rd and 4th.

Originally scheduled for April, the Boston Marathon attack postponed the show, but it's back, bigger than ever at a new location, the Seaport World Trade Center.

And who's in attendance? Only some of the biggest names in Pop Culture including Laurie Holden (True Blood), Billy West (Futurama), Aidan Turner and Dean O'Gorman (The Hobbit), Kristin Bauer van Straten (True Blood), and Cosplayer Yaya Han!

And for comics? Take a deep breath...

Neal Adams, Brian Azzarello, Mark Bagley, Mark Chiarello, Tony Daniel, Dan Didio, Colleen Doran, Ming Doyle, Joe Hill, Phil Jimenez, Barry Kitson, Ed McGuinness, Mike Mignola, Terry Moore, Steve Niles, Shelli Paroline, George Perez, James O’Barr, Amy Reeder, Gabriel Rodriguez, Don Rosa, Craig Rousseau, Tim Sale, Scott Snyder, William Stout, Bill Willingham and many, many more!

Plus FOG! Editor in Chief Stefan Blitz will moderate two panels on Saturday:

Neal Adams' Secrets of The Silver Age 12pm–12:45pm
Writing Comics with Steve Niles, Frank Tieri, Tom Sniegoski 5pm-5:45pm

And FOG!/League of Ordinary Gentlemen Podcaster Clay N. Ferno will moderate two panels on Sunday:

All Ages Comics with Shelli Paroline, Don Rosa, Maris Wicks 11am-11:45am
Marvel Comics with Mark Bagley, Mike Choi, David Mack, Brandon Peterson 1pm-1:45pm

And we're giving away a pair of tickets to attend the show!

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CAT SEES HIS SOLDIER OWNER After A Long Deployment...And Reacts How You Would Expect

July 26, 2013, 3:00 pm

≫ Next: Symbolism and Biology of the Chitauri and Leviathans From MARVEL'S THE AVENGERS

≪ Previous: Contest! Win Passes To BOSTON COMIC CON!

While I occasionally get sucked into the soldier/dog reunion video thing and end up sobbing hysterically, I often wonder how the other family pet would react after seeing their long-gone owner return home after a deployment.

And you know something?

It's not as heartwarming...bastards.

Read more »

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Symbolism and Biology of the Chitauri and Leviathans From MARVEL'S THE AVENGERS

July 26, 2013, 6:02 pm

≫ Next: Best Phone Apps For Children

≪ Previous: CAT SEES HIS SOLDIER OWNER After A Long Deployment...And Reacts How You Would Expect

It takes me some time to organize my thoughts on a monster.

Just one observation is rarely enough to be able to talk at length about any critter. Repeated viewings and notes are needed in order to confirm the data collected.

Or maybe that’s just an excuse to re-watch good movies over and over again. Because I sure as hell will give a bad one maybe one other viewing before going to the keyboard.

And Joss Whedon’s Billion Dollar Baby, The Avengers is a great movie to watch and re-watch.

It’s no Jaws, of course, but it’s still damn good. The monsters in the movie, the Chitauri, take their name from one classic Marvel alien . . . from an alternate universe, but really are their own thing. So much so, that the Chitauri of the movie were introduced to the mainstream Marvel Comics. I guess it really is hard to ignore a billion dollars.

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Best Phone Apps For Children

July 29, 2013, 8:00 am

≫ Next: Kick Off Fantasy Football Season At Dave & Busters, Sports Nerd

≪ Previous: Symbolism and Biology of the Chitauri and Leviathans From MARVEL'S THE AVENGERS

When people think about the best apps they often think about entertainment or lifestyle, and yet there's various children's apps that really help enhance the way children learn and interact with technology. To see how mobile phones can change the way your kids learn, here are the top ten apps which can be downloaded on smartphones such as the HTC one.

Read more »

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Kick Off Fantasy Football Season At Dave & Busters, Sports Nerd

July 29, 2013, 5:00 am

≫ Next: 'MARVEL ONE SHOT: AGENT CARTER' Brings Haley Atwell Back to The Marvel Universe

≪ Previous: Best Phone Apps For Children

I love Dave & Busters.

It's like Chuck E. Cheese for adults. There's food, booze, and games galore. It often reminds me of Pleasure Island in Pinocchio without having to worry about being turned into a donkey.

Now D & B are launching a pretty neat promotion inviting all Fantasy Football players to have a ridonkulous draft party.

And for all of those that book their draft party at D&B get FREE room rental + WiFi, 10% off food and non-alcoholic beverages, $10 game play for every member, and a copy of ESPN analyst Matthew Berry’s new book “Fantasy Life” while supplies last.

Remember, D&B is the ONLY place to eat, drink, play, and watch football this season! With newly remodeled ultimate sports viewing lounges across the nation, D&B offers modern spaces with bigger, better TVs and 12-15’ HD projectors allowing for a “stadium” viewing experience. Visit www.bestsportsbarever.com to learn more and book your draft event.

This would be so much better if I liked football.

Maybe D & B will launch a similar event program for Dungeons & Dragons campaigns....

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'MARVEL ONE SHOT: AGENT CARTER' Brings Haley Atwell Back to The Marvel Universe

July 29, 2013, 6:00 am

≫ Next: 'AVENGERS ASSEMBLE' Assembles on DVD

≪ Previous: Kick Off Fantasy Football Season At Dave & Busters, Sports Nerd

She was Steve Rogers' main squeeze in Captain America: The First Avenger. Now Peggy Carter returns in the upcoming Marvel One Shot: Agent Carter which debuts on the upcoming 2-Disc Blu-ray combo pack release of Marvel's Iron Man 3 on September 24th.

Haley Atwell returns as Peggy Carter and the One Shot picks up where the events of Captain America: The First Avenger left off, with British operative Carter joining the nascent S.H.I.E.L.D. organization. As she searches for the enigmatic “Zodiac” key, Agent Carter also battles her sexist, bureaucratic boss, Agent Flynn (Bradley Whitford), who thinks women have no place in the secret-agent business.

Also returning to the Marvel Universe is Captain America co-star Dominic Cooper, reprising his role as Howard Stark.

After the jump, check out a clip to this eagerly awaited fourth entry in the fan-favorite Marvel One-Shot Short Film Series, which exists within the continuity of the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Read more »

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'AVENGERS ASSEMBLE' Assembles on DVD

July 29, 2013, 7:00 am

≫ Next: JOE KUBERT Tribute Takes Over 'COMIC BOOK CREATOR #2'

≪ Previous: 'MARVEL ONE SHOT: AGENT CARTER' Brings Haley Atwell Back to The Marvel Universe

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JOE KUBERT Tribute Takes Over 'COMIC BOOK CREATOR #2'

July 29, 2013, 8:00 am

≫ Next: ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK: "Bora Bora Bora" S1E10 (Review)

≪ Previous: 'AVENGERS ASSEMBLE' Assembles on DVD

TwoMorrows Publishing's COMIC BOOK CREATOR #2 pays tribute to the late JOE KUBERT

TwoMorrows Publishing (the leading publisher of books and magazines for comics fandom) has just released its second issue of COMIC BOOK CREATOR, "The New Voice of the Comics Medium." This double-sized trade paperback Annual debuts in stores worldwide on Wednesday, July 31, and is currently available from TwoMorrows' website (www.twomorrows.com).

Squeezed between Kubert homage covers by SERGIO CARIELLO and TIM TRUMAN, this Summer Annual is entirely devoted to the legendary comics creator who passed away in 2012. Included are comprehensive examinations of each facet of Joe's career: Golden Age fan favorite artist, 3-D comics pioneer, pre-eminent war delineator, top artist-as-editor, incomparable Tarzan writer and artist, founder of the Kubert School, graphic novelist, P*S magazine helmsman, father to a comics creator dynasty, and inspiration to generations of aspiring artists—replete with interviews with the master from over the years, plus rarely-seen artwork and artifacts. Editor JON B. COOKE has also assembled testimonials, remembrances, portraits, anecdotes, pin-ups and mini-interviews by peers, faculty, students, fans, friends and family, with special emphasis on a history of the Kubert School, its illustrious alumni, and Joe's impact as instructor.

Readers can view a free preview after the jump and order the PRINT EDITION (at 15% off with a FREE digital edition) or DIGITAL EDITION ONLY (just $7.95) HERE.

Read more »

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ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK: "Bora Bora Bora" S1E10 (Review)

July 29, 2013, 9:00 am

≫ Next: BOOK REPORT: Buzzfeed Gets Books, Stephen King's Favorite Opening Lines, Cover Cliches & More

≪ Previous: JOE KUBERT Tribute Takes Over 'COMIC BOOK CREATOR #2'

by Elizabeth Weitz

Illusion is the greatest gift that we humans have ever concocted. No, I'm not referring to the act of puling a rabbit out a hat or sawing a person in half, I'm talking about the way we fool ourselves into thinking things will be all right. It's as if the act of delusion/illusion keeps us blindly scraping through the occasional shit storm like a plow truck moving away hoards of bullshit from our path. We may still be surrounded by banks of it (ready to topple upon us at any moment) but at least we can still see where we need to walk.

It's a brilliant defensive strategy if you ask me.

And in prison, it's really the only thing you've got to get through the day.

And in Chapman's (Taylor Schilling) case, the illusion that she hasn't really gone back to her lez-be-friends relationship with Alex (Laura Prepon), so much as she is simply getting "closer" to an old friend, helps keep her mind off the fact that she is, essentially, cheating on Larry (Jason Biggs) with the one person he is most worried about.

Of course, most everyone knows Chapman's rationalization is complete horse shit, judging by how much the former couple of Nicky (Natasha Lyonne) and Morello (Yael Stone), seem to bring it up to Chapman during cafeteria time.

But hey, that illusion trick can still work even when confronted by the truth.

Read more »

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BOOK REPORT: Buzzfeed Gets Books, Stephen King's Favorite Opening Lines, Cover Cliches & More

July 29, 2013, 10:00 am

≫ Next: BANKRUPT BY BEANIES: A Look At One Family Who Dropped Over $100,000 on the Beanie Baby Craze

≪ Previous: ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK: "Bora Bora Bora" S1E10 (Review)

Amazon Declares War
Amazon declares a book war of sorts with some staggeringly excessive discounts.

Royal Roundup
With the birth of the new prince, here are some recommended royal reads.

Neil Gaiman the Video Game
Neil Gaiman, the author, is set to release his first video game.

California Bookstore Day
California Bookstore Day is coming to a town near you (so long as you're in California) on May 3, 2014.

Read more »

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BANKRUPT BY BEANIES: A Look At One Family Who Dropped Over $100,000 on the Beanie Baby Craze

July 29, 2013, 11:00 am

≫ Next: SAMURAI JACK Resumes His Quest

≪ Previous: BOOK REPORT: Buzzfeed Gets Books, Stephen King's Favorite Opening Lines, Cover Cliches & More

All collections seem to begin innocently enough right? You see something cute, you buy it, then, suddenly, obsession takes over and you must own EVERY SINGLE THING associated with it.

Add to that desire a national craze and the prospect of owning something worth thousands of dollars and you have just entered into the world of Beanie Babies.

In the early to mid 90s I worked at a coffee joint/collectible store that dealt in these stuffed animals and was amazed how seemingly normal people had melt-downs when you refused to sell them more than one fricken animal. I'm talking swiping expensive crap off of shelves, throwing themselves to the ground and threatening yours truly with bodily harm.

It was a crazy time and luckily, I was so thoroughly baked on pot brownies, I could handle it.

But while the craze eventually died out, I often wondered about those weird individuals who spent massive amounts of money and time trying to get all these inconsequential bean bag toys, and if, perhaps, those collections eventually ruined them.

And for the Robinson family of LA, it did.

About $100,000 worth of ruination.

After the break is a short film that Chris Robinson made of his family's downfall.

I suggest you watch it and ponder over your own desire for Comic-Con exclusives and what it could eventually lead to.

Read more »

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SAMURAI JACK Resumes His Quest

July 29, 2013, 12:00 pm

≫ Next: THE PIXEL PAINTER: A Documentary About A 97 Year-Old Computer Artist That Will Probably Make You Cry

≪ Previous: BANKRUPT BY BEANIES: A Look At One Family Who Dropped Over $100,000 on the Beanie Baby Craze

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THE PIXEL PAINTER: A Documentary About A 97 Year-Old Computer Artist That Will Probably Make You Cry

July 29, 2013, 1:00 pm

≫ Next: THE PULL LIST: THE FLASH #22, BATMAN/SUPERMAN #2, CAPTAIN AMERICA #9 & More!

≪ Previous: SAMURAI JACK Resumes His Quest

Hal Lasko is the kind of man that makes you look at your own life and wonder just what the hell it is you are doing with it.

At 97 years old and suffering from Wet Macular Degeneration (which causes blindness in the center of his vision), Lasko uses Microsoft Paint as his medium of choice (it allows him to maximize certain areas of his work so he can see it) thus creating a pointillism (pixellism?) version of a world that drives his creativity (thanks to his grandsons who introduced the man to the program after buying him his first computer at the age of 82).

Yes, a 97 year-old man is doing more with his life than you and me. Kind of puts things in perspective doesn't it?

And, because Hal is so obviously awesome, Josh Bogdan made a short documentary film to celebrate the man and his accomplishments.

And yeah, you will tear up...probably because you realize you have no excuses not to go after your dream.

Documentary after the break.

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THE PULL LIST: THE FLASH #22, BATMAN/SUPERMAN #2, CAPTAIN AMERICA #9 & More!

July 29, 2013, 6:20 pm

≫ Next: YOUTUBE GEEK WEEK Coming August 4-10th...You Might Want to Start Scheduling Your Time Off Now

≪ Previous: THE PIXEL PAINTER: A Documentary About A 97 Year-Old Computer Artist That Will Probably Make You Cry

Check out what I checked out this week.

Whether the comics are inspiring or disappointing, I read them all.

Welcome to The Pull List.

And, as always...Spoilers ahead!

The Rocketeer/The Spirit: Pulp Friction #1
(Pick of the Week)
Writer: Mark Waid
Artist: Paul Smith
Cover: Paul Smith
Publisher: IDW Publishing
Price: $3.99

Mark Waid produces a comic book tour de force that seamlessly feels like two separate stories. When a team up book like this is assembled, showing how the heroes meet can either make or break the story.

The aftermath of a mysterious Central City death reaches Los Angeles and traumatizes Cliff Secord’s main squeeze, Betty.

The Spirit goes on a road trip to investigate the matter and finds himself in aerial combat with The Rocketeer. The moments leading up to their introduction fits like a glove as old friends forge new alliances.

Paul Smith’s artwork does a phenomenal job of making the book feel like something out of the 1950’s. In a world where the majority of top comics article storylines that have world ending odds, it’s nice to read a well put together mystery that is a little more grounded in real world affairs while peaking our imagination to the fullest. In other words, it’s all out fun and a must buy.

Grade: A+

Read more »

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