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Contest! Win THE FOUR on Blu-Ray!

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Gangs of spies. A royal secret service. A covert governing organization. A divine constabulary. Everyone wants to know about a stolen coin cast and a mysterious circulation of counterfeit currency. Every government agency and financial interest in the region has an interest and a plan. But this scam is only the beginning of their problems.

Something supernatural is happening. Someone is forming an army of the undead, created to crush anything that stands in their way, making their way to the capital.

Coldblood. Iron Hands. Emotionless. Life Snatcher.

They are kung fu superheroes. They are THE FOUR.

And they may be our only chance.

Based on the greatly-loved novel The Four Detective Guards by Wen Ruian, Gordon Chan’s (THE KING OF FIGHTERS, PAINTED SKIN, THE KUNG FU MASTER) film adaptation is the first for the big screen, and the beginning of a planned trilogy.
And we're giving away three copies!

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MUSIC VIDEO MONDAY: Robin Thicke Is Reincarnated As George Michael In the 'Blurred Lines' Video...But Not In A Good Way (NSFW)

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To be completely honest, I've never been a fan of Robin Thicke's music but I'm putting his latest video for the song Blurred Lines up here not because it's a particularly good or interesting bit of vocal talent but because it feels like every George Michael video off of his 1987 Faith album that made the chicks get all up in his acid washed jeans (Then again, it also gives a nod to Freedom '90 from GM's Listen Without Prejudice Vol. 1 album what with all the models traipsing around topless so maybe we should just assume the entire George Michael video catalog was an influence in Mr. Thicke's creative decision).

Of course, in this particular homage, instead of supermodels lip-syncing to the lyrics, we just have a bunch of expressionless women walking back-and-forth across the screen with their boobs out and about while Thicke stares and paw at them for five minutes.

Hmmm...not quite as classy as George Michael my friend.

Which is something I never thought I would ever say in this lifetime.

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NATURE GEEK: The Blossom Bat May Just Convince You That Some Winged Beasts Are Not Out to Suck Your Blood From Your Partially Severed Neck

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As an animal lover I know that I am susceptible to fawning over those creatures who are cute while leaving the ugly ones to fend for themselves like the offspring of meth addicted parents, but luckily the animal I am writing about today is the Blossom bat from Australia who just so happens to be one of the cute ones, so all is safe in the world.

Unfortunately, because it's a bat and there's a great number of people who have an issue with what looks like a rat with wings sharing the same planet as us, they will proceed to kill them even though this particular animal feeds only on nectar and pollen (like a hummingbird) and not on the blood of the innocent.

To help educate you on the sweetness of most bats (and especially this one in particular) I could give you a bunch of dry facts about how the Blossom bat is especially rare and is "...very susceptible to the destruction of its natural habitat [Popular Science] which will make you feel bad in a very intellectual, albeit non-emotional, way, or I could show you a video of a Blossom bat that has been rehabilitated after an expected cat attack while some Sarah McLachlan-ish electro music plays in the background, pulling at your heartstrings until you are nothing more than a weeping shell of a human being.

Hmmm...which one will I pick?

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TUESDAY BLUs (& DVDs): This Week's New Releases 4/9/13

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It's that time again...

This week, we've got a bunch of new releases including several stunning nature documentaries from the BBC, a smattering of cult films, an old school cowboy television collection and a new film starring Chad Boseman, the soon to be star of the Jackie Robinson bio-film, 42.

Open up that queue and fire up that shopping cart and check out this weeks' can't miss selections!

The Kill Hole

Lt. Samuel Drake (Chad Boseman) is a troubled vet plagued by an atrocity he perpetrated while working as a private security contractor in Iraq. Recently returned to the states and living out of a rundown motel room, he spends his time driving the night shift at a cab company. By day, he attends a vets group led by Marshall (Billy Zane).

This fragile life is shattered anew when two executives from the security firm (Peter Greene and Ted Rooney) track down Drake and present him with a new mission: find and kill Sgt. Devin Carter (Tory Kittles), a poetic Marine Corps. sniper who has gone AWOL somewhere in the Pacific Northwest wilderness. Sgt. Carter witnessed Drake's crime and is now seeking vengeance on the firm's executives.  Extras include a documentary featurette and trailers.

Boss: Season 2

Mayor Tom Kane's (Kelsey Grammer) grip on Chicago is as powerful as ever. With high doses of medication, he's able to beat back the physical symptoms of his debilitating brain disease, but it comes at a cost. Committed to his unorthodox agenda, Kane cuts out the cancers within the political machine he helped build. As corrupt heads roll and his list of enemies grows, Kane's virtuous actions begin to erode the very foundation of power he's worked a lifetime to build. In order to maintain it, Kane must govern as he always has - ruthlessly.  Extras include commentaries and The King And His Court Featurette.
 
Crush

Careful who you wish for.  High school heartthrob Scott (Lucas Till) has is all; good looks, popularity... and a secret admirer. But what starts out as a seemingly innocent crush soon turns deadly. Who's responsible? Scott's long time friend Jules (Sarah Bolger), frustrated with their platonic relationship? Bess (Crystal Reed), a shy classmate, increasingly jealous of his friendship with Jules? Or Jeffrey (Reid Ewing), a bright outcast whose crush on Bess has lead him to become increasingly obsessive? One thing's certain, time's running out and Scott must uncover the psychotic stalker before it's too late.  Extras include Making Of.


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PRE-ORDER POKER NIGHT 2 From Telltale Games And Play Some Texas Hold 'Em With Ash and GlaDos

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Telltale games has recently announced a super deal for their upcoming game Poker Night 2 that will be released on April 23rd for Xbox Live Arcade, PlayStation Network and Steam (Mac and PC).

For just $4.99 you not only get to play a game of poker with Ash Williams (Evil Dead), Claptrap (Borderlands), Sam (Sam and Max) and Brock Sampson (The Venture Bros.) with GlaDos dealing out cards and thinly veiled threats, you'll also be able to get a copy of Poker Night at the Inventory, win special items to use in Team Fortress 2 (PC) and Borderlands 2 (All Systems) and unlock in-game stuff like themed tables, chips and cards.

Oh and there's gonna be a lot of shit talk as well so that'll be a nice time suck while you play at work.

Click HERE to pre-order and watch the trailer after the break.

It's so worth the $5

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When Kids Go Wild—The Saga of Proteus in Uncanny X-Men #125-127

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Most parents probably have reasonable expectations of their children.  Sure, there are those borderline crazy overachievers, who want to get their kids into Our Lady of Pretentiousness Daycare so that they’ll be on the fast track to Harvard and the US Senate before they’re out of diapers, but for most of us, I’d venture we’re cool with them just graduating and not being arrested for defecating on a cop car.

It’s the little things in life.

Now, I’m not sure what Moira MacTaggart had planned for her son Kevin, especially after her bag of dicks husband Joseph bounced on them both, but I’m fairly certain she wasn’t hoping for him to develop a highly unstable mutation that would drive him insane and lead him to nearly crush reality.

Unfortunately, that’s what she wound up with.  Kids these days, am I right?

Really.  I ask so little…

The story of Kevin MacTaggart—aka Mutant X, aka Proteus, aka the guy who tossed around the X-Men like ragdolls—is one of the prime examples of Chris Claremont’s legendary long-term plot seeding.  The first time we even get any sort of mention of the character, it’s as Mutant X on Muir Island in X-Men #104 (they hadn’t yet added the “Uncanny” modifier).  Nothing else is given to us, just a sign on a door that’s been damaged after one of Magneto’s temper tantrums, which was actually fitting since he’d recently been turned into a baby and was just getting back to normal courtesy of Erik the Red.

Don’t ask questions.  Seriously, it’s just better not to go there.

Anyway, Mutant X disappeared from the book for some time and then we got another glimpse in Uncanny X-Men #119, where he was seen inhabiting the body of Angus MacWirther, who I’m pretty sure every creepy groundskeeper/amusement park owner on Scooby Doo has to thank for their depictions.

And he totally would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for those pesky kids.
And their Wolverine.

Finally, in Uncanny X-Men #125, we got to see him in action and, man, was it epic.  In a story straight out of a sci-fi/horror movie, Mutant X picked off personnel on Muir Island, the true terror happening once Moira realized that his cell had been compromised and he was free.  A call for help to the X-Mansion by Polaris was received by Cyclops…just as she screamed and the line went dead.  Classic horror movie tropes.

By the time Cyclops rallied the troops to head to Muir Island in Uncanny X-Men #126, Mutant X was gaining more control over his abilities, jumping from body to body, but instead of doing it to leap from life to life and right wrongs, he was doing it because he had no physical form of his own and drained their life essences to survive.

It wasn’t until after Cyclops really pressed Moira that we got the big reveal that Mutant X was her son, Kevin, and they soon figured out he was heading straight for his deadbeat dad.

Wow.  This just got really awkward, didn’t it?

Luckily, Moira divulged that he had one major weakness, metal, but other than that, he was virtually unstoppable, not only comprised of living psychic energy, but also able to literally warp reality.

As far as mutant powers go on the Danger Scale, his were an eleven.

As far as insanity goes on the Crazypants Scale, he was also an eleven.

So, yeah, the X-Men were screwed.

To this point, Wolverine had been shown as the quintessential alpha male, never afraid, never backing down, and never rattled.  And then Mutant X, now calling himself Proteus, came along and tore him apart molecularly and put him back together just because he could.

This was not a good day for our furry mutants.

With Wolverine still spooked in Uncanny X-Men #127, Cyclops took it upon himself to goad him into an attack while testing all of the X-Men who encountered Proteus that was such a badass move as a leader, even Wolverine was forced to admit he approved—after revealing he’d never thought much of him as a leader, or even as a man, before it.

In the end, it all came down to Proteus versus…Colossus.  Yeah.  Metal was to Proteus what objectivity is to the news media, so naturally he picked a fight with the one guy made of frikkin’ metal.

Normally, if anyone was going to kill someone, it was going to be Wolverine, but here we got to see Colossus faced with a life or death decision and when push came to shove, he did what he had to, seemingly killing Proteus to save the day.

We’ll give this one to the Ruskie; in the years to follow, he’d have to deal with t
he Miracle on Ice, Rocky IV, and the fall of the USSR.

Proteus came back in various forms a few times throughout the years, but never really matched the level of prominence he was in this original arc (except during World Tour in Exiles), and it really was a testament to Claremont’s storytelling that he was able to subtly seed this one for so many months. 

And it was even more impressive that while this was going on, he was seeding the upcoming story that would become one of the defining moments in comic history, the Dark Phoenix Saga.

So, if you can, give Uncanny X-Men #125-127 a look.  It’s definitely worth a read.

Easily one of the classics in Claremont’s historic run.


OH SH*T WHAT?! A Goonies-Inspired Musical Tribute To One Of The Greatest Kid's Movies Ever

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I grew up on the Oregon coast so yeah, you could say that I have a special kinship to the movie The Goonies (as did every Oregonian who spent their youth at the beach) and this ode to those ingenious group of friends by the musician Bonecage is especially revealing on just how influential the movie was/is to anyone over the age on 35 (in fact, my best friend got engaged during The Goonies 25th anniversary in Astoria in 2010 because that's just how fucking important the movie was to her).

Now, am I going to make some ridiculous claim that this catchy tune should be added to your movie/video game musical tribute playlist on your iPod/iPhone?

No, because if you weren't feeling a pull to do so the moment I mentioned that there was another Goonies song (and, if you are like me, you were already figuring out whether or not you should place it directly after The Goonies 'R'Good Enough by Cyndi Lauper or if that would seem like too much Goonies at once) then you aren't a true fan and are probably still in your twenties.

So take a gander at the fan-made video for the song (yes, a fan of a guy you never heard of was compelled to make a video for it) and then, you know, download the song.

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We Need To Talk About Your Flair: A Look Back at OFFICE SPACE

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When speaking about the movie Office Space, there are plenty of memorable one-liners that come to mind. I just happened to turn it on my lazy Monday afternoon and one of the first references of flair comes up, I believe the part where Jennifer Aniston’s character Joanna explains flair to the main character, Peter Gibbons, played by Ron Livingston.

Anyway, if you haven’t figured it out, this week’s column is dedicated to the 1999 cult hit which hits close to home to a lot of people.

I mean, if given the option, how many of us would actually choose to work if we really didn’t have to?

Silly society and its social norms!



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GUY WHO IS OBSESSED With Being A Merman Actually Makes A Living Being A Merman...Some People Just Fall Into Careers Don't They?

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Eric Ducharme is a guy who likes merpeople.

So much so that he appeared on an episode of that horrible reality show My Crazy Obsession, talking about why being a merman is as important to him as breathing while the people who love him simply have to shake their heads and deal with it.

Now, normally it would be at this point in the post where I would make some snarky comment about him and ride off into the sunset on my high, judgmental horse filled with a sense of superiority, but this time I have to give the weirdo dude some serious props. Rather than simply imbibing in a lifestyle that is odd and off-putting, he is actually making a living at his obsession by creating intricate and exceptionally beautiful fish tails that people can buy and wear while swimming...and these things are not cheap (we're talking a range of $170 for a kid to $2700 for a top of the line adult tail).

And I will admit, I sort of want one:

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RAIMI FEST

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Oz the Great and Powerful, they say?

Meh, I say. More like Oz the Dull and Feckless.

Director Sam Raimi’s trip back to the Emerald City dazzles and sparkles in parts, but only intermittently and never with any true emotion.

In fact, so many things have gone horribly wrong in the Land of Oz that it took me a while to register this as a smudge on Raimi’s resumé. 


Beyond the overreliance on CGI effects, a dull screenplay and Mila Kunis’ crucial and atrocious performance, what truly astonishes me is how GENERIC the whole affair feels. Oz reeks of corporate meddling and board-table rewrites and is sorely missing the telltale zing of Raimi’s most rambunctious and influential films. Aside from a few signature jerk/zoom camera gesticulations, pretty much ANYONE could’ve directed this movie.

Alas, the mere fact that the finished product has grossed a half billion dollars worldwide guarantees we’ll likely get sequels offering more of the same.

To ease the sting of this thought, here are a few of my favorite picks from Raimi’s more glorious days, all of them recommended to wash the bitter taste of Oz the Great and Powerful from any offended palate.

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CARGO: An Exquisite Short Film About Zombies and Love

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Are zombies a played out fad that should go into hibernation for a decade before being rebooted? 

Absolutely.

But if we are going to send it off into the abyss for a while I can't think of a better way to do it than this lovely, heart pain of a short film called Cargo about an infected father who does everything in his power to save his infant daughter from annihilation and infection.

After watching this, nothing coming after it will be able to equal its awesomeness.

Trust me.

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THE FOLLOWING: "The Curse" S1E12 (recap)

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By Steve Ahlquist
Psychopathic cult leader Joe Carroll (James Purefoy) struggles to write his book on Ryan Hardy (Kevin Bacon), the man trying to catch him.

Suffering from writer's block, Carroll decides to go right to the source, and calls Hardy on his cellphone as casually as a best friend trying to remember the name of that restaurant you ate at last week.

Ryan handles the phone call as casually as he can, because it becomes evident that Joe Carroll, like all his plans and even his cult, are unraveling.



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ELYSIUM Gets a Trailer; Latest Film From Neill Blomkamp (DISTRICT 9)!

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This one's been under lock and key for a while. Set in the year 2159, where the very wealthy live on a man-made space station while the rest of the population resides on a ruined Earth, a man takes on a mission that could bring equality to the polarized worlds. Arriving in theaters on August 9th, Elysium stars Matt Damon, Jodie Foster, Sharlto Copley and is written and directed by Neill Blomkamp.




MAD MEN: "The Doorway" S6E1/2 (review)

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By Clay N. Ferno
Betty (January Jones) isn’t skipping the Jif but redeems herself by being protective of a young runaway, Roger (John Slattery) suffers loss, and Don Draper (Jon Hamm) struggles with his identity and marriage.

Aloha, Mad Men is back and boy have we got a lot to talk about with the Vietnam War brewing in the background of this Madison Avenue drama, returning for Season Six.


Mahalo! Season Six is off to a start, with a two-hour episode for the premiere, ten months after the end of last season. The Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce office has expanded to two floors after the loss of partner Lane Pryce (Jared Harris) to suicide in Season Five.

Both Joan (Christina Hendricks) and Don make comments about the creative department replacing the usual scotch and vodka breaks with reefer madness. The Vietnam War is in full swing, Ginsberg (Ben Feldman) has grown a mustache and Stan (Jay R. Ferguson) has blossomed a full beard.

One of the highlights of the show is the fashion, and we are steadily seeing suit, tie and hat culture grow more accepting of the jeans, sundresses and facial hair seen around them day to day.

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BATES MOTEL: "Trust Me" S1E4 (recap)

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By Steve Belgard
Norman has his first “encounter” with the opposite sex (and it’s not his mother)

I’ll be taking a break for the moment from FOG!, as I’m embarking on a new journey, not unlike our troubled duo of Norman and Norma (Freddie Highmore and Vera Farmiga).

But I’m certain that mine will be a much more positive change, with a lot less drama and mayhem.

Hopefully.


This week’s episode overlaps the last with Norman lying in bed when mom enters to tell him he needs to go to the Deputy’s (Mike Vogel) house to retrieve Keith’s belt.  Dylan (Max Thieriot) sees Norman leaving the complex and follows him to Shelby’s on his motorcycle.


Shelby returns and Norman tries to leave the basement sex room, but the kidnapped girl takes hold of his ankle, desperately trying to escape as well.  Dylan distracts Shelby and Norman splits.  The older brother waits for Norman at the motel and wants to know what’s going on, but Norman walks away.

Norman goes to Emma’s house, but her dad tells him she’s got the flu and will be out of school for about a week.  Dad says that Emma’s taken a liking to him and wants to make sure he’s decent, to which Norman replies, “I am decent.”

In his mind, he is.

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Contest! Win LINCOLN DVD/Blu-ray Combo!

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With two Academy Award-wins for “Best Performance By An Actor In A Leading Role” & “Best Achievement In Production Design”; a Golden Globe for “Best Performance by An Actor In A Motion Picture-Drama”; a BAFTA for “Leading Actor”; and AFI “Movie Of The Year,” “LINCOLN” is this year’s must-own motion picture to add to any collection!

As a 2013 Oscar and Golden Globe Award-winner for his performance as America’s 16th president, Daniel Day-Lewis leads an all-star cast including Academy Award® winners Tommy Lee Jones and Sally Field. Also starring David Strathaim, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and James Spader, “LINCOLN” is based on a screenplay by Pulitzer Prize-winner Tony Kushner. The film is scored by multiple Oscar-winner John Williams.

Inspired by the true-life events confronting Abraham Lincoln and his monumental moral and political challenge to amend the United States Constitution to permanently abolish slavery, “LINCOLN” is a rich and compelling historical and human drama that has been hailed as one of the best film of the year. In-depth bonus features on the Blu-ray/DVD Combo Pack takes viewers behind-the-scenes of director Spielberg’s life-long fascination with Lincoln and the 12 years it took to bring the story of one of history’s and mankind’s greatest triumphs to the screen.

And we're giving away a copy! After the jump check out some clips from the film and the film's bonus features and find out how to enter!

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THE COMIC LIST: Releases For 4/10/12

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After the jump check out a list of which which comics, graphic novels, toys and other pop-culture merchandise will arrive at your local comic shop via Diamond Comics Distributors.   Please check with your retailer for availability.


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DARK SKIES Will Terrorize You At Home Via DVD/Blu on May 28th

BEING HUMAN: "Ruh-Roh!" S3E13 (recap)

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By Julie Browning
Remember Nora (Kristen Hager) found Liam (Xander Berkeley) outside of their honeymoon cabin?

Josh (Sam Huntington) came outside to see what's going on. Liam tells them that the saving of vampires with werewolf blood is a curse.

Like he usually does, he pulls a gun on them to make them follow him for proof.


Aidan (Sam Witwer) and Kat (Deanna Russo) are getting busy in the living room and Sally (Meaghan Rath) feels like a fifth wheel, so she goes up to her room to chat with her corpse that's still laying there, looking all kinds of gross. I sure hope they dispose of it soon. A rotting corpse lying around is never a good thing.

 She's rethinking this whole ghost business, late though it is, thinking if she would have just eaten a criminal or a terminally ill person, she'd still be alive.

Not a great plan, but hindsight is 20/20, right?


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MOLLY RINGWALD Releases A Jazz Album...And She Covers the Breakfast Club's Iconic Theme Song 'Don't You (Forget About Me)'

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I love Molly Ringwald.

Not a controversial statement considering she was such a major influence in my and everyone else's teen years (who happens to now be in their mid-to-late thirties) but my love for her has not dimmed over the years even though she crept silently away from the mainstream consciousness with the occasional forays into writing (Getting the Pretty Back and When It Happens to You), periodic television appearances and movies that aren't as memorable as her John Hughes days.

But now she has released a Jazz album (which shouldn't be a surprise since she has been singing with her father's jazz band since she was three) called Except Sometimes filled with standards and one really interesting cover of the Simple Minds song Don't You (Forget About Me) that isn't bad at all (although you do need to listen to it a few times before you get the original song completely out of your head).

With a crystal clear voice and an old-timey sound, Ringwald could smoothly transition to a Jazz lounge singer if she wanted (but she will always be Claire/Samantha/Andie to me).

Take a listen after the break.

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