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FOOD OF THE GODS: Pizza On Film Supercut [Video]

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I'm pretty sure that if I wasn't lazy, I could do some research and find out what the first thing uttered after biting into a slice of pizza was, but let's just assume it was an orgasmic sigh followed by an "Oh Yeah". 

After-all, is there anything better in life than a big slice followed by a swig of cold beer?

I didn't think so.

So let's celebrate the hot saucy, cheesy, laden-with-toppings wonder that has graced our celluloid taste buds over the years and warmed our cinematic stomachs with its deliciousness shall we?

And afterward, we can all go out for a slice.
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Third Time’s a Charm Part II of II—The Three Resurrections of Fantomex

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By now, we all know that a character dying in a comic book is generally like a person in real life getting food poisoning.  Sure, it’s going to a tough time for a few days, and the smells emanating from you aren’t going to net a bunch of visitors, but pretty soon, you’ll be up on your feet once more, either heading back to that really shady Taco Bell or wading into a firefight with mutant terrorists.

Because, in real life and in fiction, people just don’t learn their lessons.

“I just paid $0.35 for a pound of REAL refried beef in a greasy shell.
How can this NOT be a good idea?”

Grant Morrison’s run on X-Men—which led to it being temporarily renamed New X-Men—was quite polarizing.  Some long term fans like myself didn’t care for a lot of the lack of, and/or complete disregard, for continuity, or the gaping plotholes in some instances, while some newer fans were brought into the X-Men universe for the first time and loved it.

Overall, I have mixed feelings and enjoyed some elements like the concept of humans getting “mutant envy,” but still dislike things like the whole Xorn debacle which was about as believable as Snooki not really being a rogue Oompa Loompa.

But while much of his run has since been undone, one notable character has continued to leave a mark, and that’s the mysterious Fantomex.

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YOU WILL ALWAYS LOOK STYLIN' With the Dress For Dinner Napkin

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Looking good is not only difficult to achieve but can wear on your wallet in such a way that people have gone into deep debt for nothing more than hair gel and Axe body spray. So why spend hours trying to make yourself into an attractive member of society when all you have to do to be one of the beautiful people is to unfold a napkin, stick the end of it in your shirt and BAM! you are sizzling hot?

Seriously, that's all it takes to appeal to the vapid whores who will judge the character of your being solely on materialistic things...a fancy tie napkin.
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Don't You Forget About Molly

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Dear Hollywood,

It’s the season of Romance, and NO ONE did romance better then John Hughes in the betamax decade that was the 80’s.


Especially when it came to the romantic pairings of his muse, the original ginger, Molly Ringwald. 


Ringwald had quite a few names in her little black book, so lets get all old school and reexamine the ones that really sizzled in the land of high waisted jeans, poofy sleeves and short but horny adolescent boys.

The So Wrong it's Wrong Pairing. 

Bender (Judd Nelson) and Claire (Molly Ringwald) in The Breakfast Club.


As classic as a classic car, out of all the hook ups in this movie (all two of them), this is the one you can imagine turning into a really exciting sexual relationship. 

She’s the spoiled rich bitch who may get fat when she is older, and he is the rebellious bad boy who loves a cigarette and wears an oversized coat just because he can. Motherfucker. She wants to piss off her dad, and he wants to help her piss off her dad. There will be hot make up sex, sociopathic tricks and his abusive childhood will come into play at some point leading to a few black eyes for old Ringwald.

But at least there will never be a dull moment. It will be a hate/love relationship to rival that of Burton and Taylor. 
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IT SMELLS JUST LIKE TEEN SPIRIT: Candles Specifically Created For Nerdy, Nostalgia-Driven Dudes

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Okay, I'll admit it, I'm one of those chicks that likes scented candles because they're kinda romantic and I look really good in the flickering light of a flame scented like warm laundry out of a dryer.

And you know what? So does my husband who, although he won't admit it, seems to enjoy hovering by one every time he farts (as if the smell of cotton can mask the rotten egg stink emitted by his lower half).

But now, there's no need for dudes like my husband to feel ashamed by their love of hot scented wax thanks, in part, to a set of candles created specifically for dudes who want to re-create certain lost memories from their youth.


There's: Retro Arcade which smells like candy, pizza, and a pocket full of quarters, Middle Earth which you would assume would smell like a basement filled with D and D players but actually has the scent of grass, rolling farmland, and bright blue sky, Space which is scented like Ozone and hope for a peaceful federation and finally there's Teen Spirit which encompasses the the smell of freshly applied deodorant that you put on in your parent's bathroom each morning before high school.

See, it's just like girl candles only none of them smell like grandma's house.

Burn on my lucky friend.

Source: Geek Alerts

The Need For Speed TOP GUN Returns For Another Flyby

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TOP GUN isn't a movie.

It never was.

It is an instigator of nostalgia, and it has been since its May 1986 release.

Actually, perhaps even before that, since the genesis of the movie was culled together from a reflective California Magazine article about pilots in San Diego. Aerial shots of fighter jets and plenty of second unit coverage started to shape what ultimately became the film visually, and with the participation of the US Navy, the movie Top Gun was almost instantly the most sure-fire commercial for the armed forces in cinema history.

As for pure derivative nostalgia in Top Gun, you can find it in both pre and post 1986 culture. Look at the dogfight scenes from 50 years prior in Hollywood's own Hell's Angels (1930). Fast forward seventeen years after Maverick "buzzed the tower," and you have real-life President George Bush's "Mission Accomplished" landing on an aircraft carrier near San Diego.

Viewing the movie nearly 27 years later, you can see the reason for its success and its impact on pop culture. At its most accessible, it's a crowd-pleasing action-drama that pretty much runs on autopilot. At its most introspective it's a homoerotic battle of male ego and status.

At the time, many a teenage boy found it to be the perfect date flick. The big military action film meets gushy romance. To quote my good friend Rachel, "there isn't a woman out there who doesn't get a little wet when they hear the first few notes of "Take My Breath Away."

Today, the blockbuster movie returns yet again to homes in a 3D Blu-ray, hot off a fairly successful IMAX limited release last week. I caught the release in IMAX last week, and although it should go without saying that the upconvert 3D is hardly necessary, but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a fun experience. The remastered sound alone is worth it.

Here's a quick recap of the many ways in which audiences have put Top Gun in the Zeitgeist for over 25 years...

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THE FOLLOWING: "The Siege" S1E5 (review)

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By Steve Ahquist
The episode opens up as Emma (Valorie Curry), Jacob (Nico Tortorella) and Paul (Adan Canto) wake up in the morning after a threeway that leaves Emma and Paul very satisfied and Jacob feeling dirty.

He's a serial killer who has never killed anyone, and he's not gay, so he's uncomfortable at Paul's touch.

Their polyamorous adventures aren't sitting right with Jacob.


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BEING HUMAN: "What's Blood Got To Do With It?" S3E6

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By Julie Browning
As this episode opens, Sally (Meghan Rath) and Max (Bobby Campo) are sharing some pretty yummy French toast in the kitchen, and making the roommates a little uncomfortable with their little breakfast smooch fest when the doorbell rings.

A lovesick sally goes to the door, but freaks out when she sees her brother Robbie (Jesse Rath) on the other side.  (Yes, that's Meghan Rath's real brother.) You may remember that she can't see anyone from her past life, or they die.

Max doesn't understand, but Josh (Sam Huntington) and Aidan (Sam Witwer) go to the door to help Sally out.

It appears that Sally's father now owns the house, as Sally and her fiance, who owned the house when the show began are both dead. Robbie is acting as the new landlord, and asked that all rent be given to him directly. How convenient.

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FOG! Exclusive First Look!: Arcana Comics' STEAM ENGINES OF OZ

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By Ryan McLelland

The world of Oz is getting a steampunk makeover in Arcana's new book, The Steam Engines of Oz, published by Arcana Comics.  While the project is quite anticipated no one has seen pages from the book...until now.  FOG! presents, for the first time, eight pages from the upcoming series which occurs 100 years after the death of the witch and where a young girl named Victoria Wright sparks a rebellion in the fabled land.

Fans everywhere can get their first finished taste of The Steam Engines of Oz when it premieres on Free Comic Book Day, May 4, 2013.

This isn't the final artwork and we can expect this in color as well - but for now feast your eyes!!!

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CUTENESS OVERLOAD: If You Don't Find This Namaqua Rain Frog Adorable, Then Your Soul Is Filled With Hate and the Bile Of A Thousand Upset Toddlers

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Look, I'm not going to lie to you. This is almost too painfully cute to sit through.

It's as if nature created an animal for the sole purpose to make you weep tears of joy and to have your being filled with the sound of children laughing in the warm rain of early fall.

Yes, this little frog makes life that fucking poetic.

You've been warned....watch with caution.

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FOX CINEMA ARCHIVES Announces First Wave of 2013 MOD Titles

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 TWENTIETH CENTURY FOX HOME ENTERTAINMENT INTRODUCES FIRST MANUFACTURE-ON-DEMAND TITLES FOR 2013

FOX CINEMA ARCHIVES

Twentieth Century Fox Home Entertainment today introduced 23 new films to its manufacture-on-demand (MOD) series, Fox Cinema Archives. Designed for true collectors and film aficionados, Fox Cinema Archives goes deep into the studio’s vault each month to bring classic films featuring some of the biggest stars of the twentieth century to DVD for the first time.

Launched in 2012, Fox Cinema Archives has seen the release of more than 140 films from the Studio’s library. Movie lovers can purchase previously released and new films from the Fox Cinema Archives series at major online retailers and at www.foxconnect.com.
After the jump check out new titles available today.

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Fear Not, Citizens! THE AQUABATS! SUPER SHOW Is Coming to DVD

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THE AQUABATS! SUPER SHOW! SEASON ONE!
COMES TO DVD FROM SHOUT! FACTORY AND FREMANTLEMEDIA KIDS & FAMILY ENTERTAINMENT ON
MAY 21, 2013

Shout! Factory, in collaboration with FremantleMedia Kids & Family Entertainment, will release The Aquabats! Super Show! Season One! on DVD on May 21 for a suggested retail price of $19.93. All 13 Season One episodes of wacky crime-fighting, music videos and outlandish villains are included in the 2-Disc deluxe collection, along with a ton of bonus features. Special guests on the show include “Weird Al” Yankovic, Lou Diamond Phillips (Southland), Samm Levine (Freaks & Geeks), Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite) and more.

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KITTENS ON THE BEAT: This Ain't Your Grandma's Kitteh Video People, This Is A Whole Lotta Awesome

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There are two eternal questions that humankind has pondered lo these many eons: "Where the f*ck did my other sock go?" and, "Why the hell are people obsessed with cat videos?" (of course, the second question is more recent but I'm sure it will have longevity).

The answer my friends is contained within this monstrously fantabulous music video by Savant, which not only answers both of these queries intelligently, it does so in a way that will fill your noggin with knowledge and your heart with song.

Not bad eh?
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Smallville: Random, Awesome and WTF?! - S10E18: Booster

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Everyone’s favorite gloryhog from the future, Booster Gold (Eric Martsolf), plays hero in town, but he’s not alone, as a young man becomes joined with a mysterious artifact to become the Blue Beetle (Jaren Brandt Bartlett).

That’s right, folks, it’s the Blue and the Gold, Smallville style!

The Random:
1. It’s entertaining seeing Clark (Tom Welling) struggling to fake bumbling his way through life to hide his real identity, harkening back to his early moments in the series.

2. Wow, poor Jaime.  Everyone at his school is apparently a gaggle of dicks.  Lois’ advice to him being the reverse of what she told Clark to get him to be less heroic looking is a nice touch, though.

3. Booster Gold, Jaime Reyes, Ted Kord (Sebastian Spence), Dan Garrett, Ron Troupe (P.J. Prinsloo), “up up and away,” Clark changing in a phone booth.  Man, this episode is just chock full of fun nods to the comics.  My nerdiness is smiling right now.

Ah, the old schoolyard game of “Duck, Duck, Douche.”
A classic.


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MAZEL TOV! This Boy Is About To Become A Man...And Possibly Score A Few Groupies Along the Way

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The Bar/Bat Mitzvah is where thirteen year-old Jewish kids become an adult through a convoluted process of learning just enough Hebrew to stand in front of friends and family (including those few poor people who happened to have gone to temple that day) and read from the Torah in a stuttering, halting fashion that bores everyone to death.

Upon the service's conclusion there is an epic party (that is awarded praise contingent on just how much money was spent on it) where the Bar/Bat Mitvah'ed person is given King/Queen status and are handed envelopes stuffed with cash until they are worth more than their writer cousin is in any given year (I might be projecting here).
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WIZARDS – The Original Avatar

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Way back in February of 1977, just a few months before Star Wars came out, I remember my best friend and I went to the movies to see a feature-length cartoon called Wizards.  We knew nothing about Wizards except that it had a very cool poster: a psychedelic illustration of a futuristic soldier in a red jumpsuit riding some kind of two-legged beast.


I still love that artwork.  It looked more like an album cover than a movie poster, and put to shame all the kiddy crud I had seen in recent years.  My expectations for Wizards were very low, however, because I was accustomed to the crap animation that was all too common in the ‘70s.

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THE MIX-TAPE Is Alive And Well...Albeit In A More Techno-Friendly Way

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Mix-Tapes, Mix-CDs...they were once the only way to tell someone how you felt about them without actually having to tell them how you felt (Take My Breath Away by Berlin followed by She Bop by Cyndi Lauper pretty much summed up what you did at night when you thought about them), and getting a mix-tape was probably the most awesome thing ever.

But then something happened.  MP3's came out and the mix-tape/cd went the way of the Walkman, never to be heard from again (I'm sorry, handing over a flash drive filled with One Direction songs doesn't count).

But here's something that combines new technology with the greatest way to say "I kinda want to have you inside of me" ever, the Sharetape.
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Mix Tapes From The Midwest: Cows, Beer, Punk Rock and Noise

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Even in this day and age, there are people who think of the Midwest states as 'flyover states' - not only in the sense of not visiting here, but also in the sense of believing that no good music comes out of our punk/alternative/indie scenes.

This is clearly untrue.

The Smashing Pumpkins are from Chicago, The Replacements are from Minneapolis, The Stooges are from Detroit, Devo are from Akron, Ohio, and the list goes on.

Granted, those bands I just named are the ones that broke out of the ‘Midwest band’ cage, and became known around the world. But the Midwest (and everywhere else) also has bands that never got known very far outside their town or state or region, that labored in obscurity for years - and just cos they never got famous doesn’t make ‘em any less worth listening to.

In December of 2012, I covered Chicago punk rock. Now, I’m here with some Wisconsin punk (as well as some other forms of underground music, such as power pop). And you know - if I thought it was difficult to write the Chicago one, in the sense of it bringing up all kinds of nostalgia and happysad memories, this one was maybe even harder, or at least difficult in a different way. Because some of these bands and the people in them have been part of my daily or weekly life since I was twelve. Because so many of the guys from so many of these bands have passed away, and that hurts more than I can express in this brief introduction. Because some of these bands, I have complicated relationships with some of their members - in fact, there are a couple bands I chose not to include at all for that very reason.

The title of this column was borrowed from an essay of the same name - Cows, Beer, Punk Rock and Noiseby Dave Lang; which is about the Milwaukee underground scene from the late ‘70s through the ‘80s. (If you enjoy reading that, I’d recommend also checking out The Cease Is Increaseby Steve Nodine.) It is also a reference to the Die Kreuzen EP Cows and Beer.

Enough about my personal history and feelings, though. I’ll get to the mix - eighteen tracks that sprung from Wisconsin’s frozen underground; everything from the famous to the obscure, from power pop to hardcore, from the ‘80s to now. Tune into Mix Tapes from the Midwest: The Podcast to hear fourteen tracks that didn’t make it into the column.

One last thing - I will be taking March off from writing this column, so, if you'd like to read more of my music writing and possibly hear some mini-podcasts during March, you can visit my blog.  See you back here in April!


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JUSTIFED: "Money Trap" S4E7 (review)

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Colton (Ron Edlard) is in trouble.

Johnny (David Meunier) knows that the guy he and Colton beat the crap out of last episode isn't the guy who slapped his girl Terri (Cathy Baron) around, and he gets her to all but admit it during some post-coital bliss.

She's afraid of Colton and for good reason. By episode end Johnny is feeling Colton out about Ellen May (Abby Miller), and beginning to build his case against him.


My feeling is that Colton and Johnny are heading to a very bad conclusion for one or both of them.

Meanwhile, Boyd Crowder (Walton Goggins) and Ava (Joelle Carter) have gotten themselves invited to a high end swingers meet that caters to all the Harlan County muckety-mucks.

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CULT: "You're Next" S1E1 (review)

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By Steve Belgard
Shows within a show are nothing new.  There’s been a few including 30 Rock’s “MILF Island” and The Simpsons' “Itchy & Scratchy.”

But the CW’s Cult is probably the first one right off the bat that gives us a brand new drinking game (but we’ll get to that later).

Created by Rockne S. O’ Bannon, “Cult” stars Matt Davis (The Vampire Diaries), a handsome, Tom Brady-like investigative reporter named Jeff Sefton.  Jeff was fired by the Washington Post for falsifying a story and returns to LA working for a lesser publication, and also to be near his hapless younger brother Nate (James Pizzanato, Alcatraz). Nate, along with many other individuals, have way too much time on their hands, as they all converge at a basement bar called fan.dom.ain to watch and dissect the CW’s mega hit series Cult.  They dress, re-enact scenes and create their own websites.


Some fans are scared of the show and of some other fans, who have seemed to have gone too far.
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