Smallville: Random, Awesome and WTF?! - S10E12: Collateral

February 6, 2013, 10:00 am

≫ Next: HEY, MOTORHEAD Has A Boxed Wine...I Guess You Have to Pair It With the Song 'Overkill' To Appreciate It's Pleasing Piquant

≪ Previous: NOW, THIS IS AN ODD WAY To Get Me To Buy A Furby [Banned Japanese Commercial]

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The VRA comes down hard on our heroes and it’s up to Chloe (Allison Mack) to come back and save the day.  How?  She’s somehow become Neo and needs to break Clark (Tom Welling) and company out of a virtual reality program.

She knows…kung fu.  You really just need to watch this one to believe it.

The Random:

1. Great Ceasar’s Ghost, is Clark powerless again?  He loses those things like they’re a set of keys.

2. Is there a girl on this show Lois (Erica Durance) hasn’t stepped to?  Because she’s ready to throw down with Dinah “Black Canary” Lance (Alaina Huffman) and we haven’t had a Lois fight in a while.

3. The VRA is trying to make Clark doubt himself by making him see a half dozen Chloes.  I don’t know about Clark, but all that’s going to do is play right into like half my fantasies…

“Again, Clark?  Seriously, we need to put some Kryptonian Lojack on them or something.”

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HEY, MOTORHEAD Has A Boxed Wine...I Guess You Have to Pair It With the Song 'Overkill' To Appreciate It's Pleasing Piquant

February 6, 2013, 11:00 am

≫ Next: View From The Brig(gs): Lincoln, The D, Green Lantern Corps. & More!

≪ Previous: Smallville: Random, Awesome and WTF?! - S10E12: Collateral

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While there seems to be a great number of celebrities in the music world toting vintage ales and wines to their legions of fans for some fast moolah (personally, I'm looking forward to Justin Bieber releasing his very own juice box someday) you have to give it up to Lemmy for doing something classy, releasing a boxed version of his Sacrifice Shiraz that is shaped like an amp to give it all the hardness you would expect from Motorhead.

Of course, this particular boxed wine is only available in The Netherlands (probably because they know if the Americans got a hold of it we would pair it with something untoward like Hot Dogs and BBQ chips) so unless you go there and buy it yourself, you will never taste the grape of Lemmy.
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View From The Brig(gs): Lincoln, The D, Green Lantern Corps. & More!

February 6, 2013, 12:14 pm

≫ Next: WELCOME TO CASA DIABLO! The Vegan Strip Club In (Of Course It Is) Portland [NSFW]

≪ Previous: HEY, MOTORHEAD Has A Boxed Wine...I Guess You Have to Pair It With the Song 'Overkill' To Appreciate It's Pleasing Piquant

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Hey. You're still here?

Wow. Okay. I guess that means I'm going to keep writing this; at least, until pre-production on myself and Gary Kurtz' movie, "Panzer 88," makes the paragraphs dwindle.

(Just as a little insider gossip, we gave up this week in exasperation on an actor that we'd written a role for. While we love the actor in question, they'd just taken too long in reading the script, and we're under a deadline to try and get shooting by summer. So sad, too bad: everybody cries.

Film
Well, let's throw ourselves in at the deep-end. I saw the last of the Academy Award nominated films I needed in my big Pre-Oscar catch-up today. It made me shake my head in wonder a little bit, as I felt the film in question was somewhat poor. In honesty, there are a good few highly-praised movies this year I didn't think were particularly great. Academy politics can be perplexing.

Also up for Awards: I mentioned "Lincoln" last week, but forgot to expound on it. I'd already seen a screener, but the movie finally opens here in Europe (I'm in the Sweden portion of my globetrotting "Panzer 88" tour right now), and director Spielberg has been traveling about doing a fair bit of publicity for it. On Kermode and Mayo's BBC radio show last week, Spielberg told a very sobering story about Daniel Day-Lewis turning him repeatedly down for the titular role over several years; and how Leonardo DiCaprio broached the gap between the director and Day Lewis, phoning Spielberg up one day out of the blue to give him Day Lewis' cellphone number. Going through casting trials on my own movie, "Panzer 88" (with "Star Wars" producer Gary Kurtz) right now, it's somewhat cheering to know that even the biggest director in the world can't always get what he wants.

 
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WELCOME TO CASA DIABLO! The Vegan Strip Club In (Of Course It Is) Portland [NSFW]

February 6, 2013, 1:00 pm

≫ Next: Mix Tapes From The Midwest: Making Punk Month a Threat Again, Again

≪ Previous: View From The Brig(gs): Lincoln, The D, Green Lantern Corps. & More!

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Well, I guess Portland has reached the pinnacle of absurdity and is now slowly falling into a parody of itself with the advent of a Vegan strip club called Casa Diablo (as a homegrown Oregonian I can make these remarks without fear of reprisal so please don't throw any Harry and David gift baskets at me).

Yes, there's the requisite pasty girls dancing to Dr. Feelgood while dudes with tent poles chow down on compassionate food fare, but if you go to a strip club, is it necessary to feel good about yourself? I would think that the appeal of watching ultra thin girls withering around on a stage while guys throw crumpled dollar bills laden with ejaculate at them would be how dirty it all is.
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Mix Tapes From The Midwest: Making Punk Month a Threat Again, Again

February 6, 2013, 2:00 pm

≫ Next: HIT BY A BUS: The Supercut

≪ Previous: WELCOME TO CASA DIABLO! The Vegan Strip Club In (Of Course It Is) Portland [NSFW]

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So you read the title of this column and you said - ‘What the hell is Punk Month?’ Let me try to explain it simply: in Aaron Cometbus’ novella-zine, Double Duce, he has this idea to have a month where he and his friends get back into the practice of being punks. This entails things like dancing at shows, hanging out on streetcorners, shaving their heads, and listening to all their records. You know, punk stuff. In February 2009, I decided to have a Punk Month, myself, because I needed to break the work-bar-cry myself to sleep routine I’d fallen into, and because I needed to remember why I fell in love with punk in the first place. It worked so well that every year since then, I’ve had a Punk Month.

I do it as a way to get myself out of any rut I may have fallen into. I do it so I have an excuse to work on all the projects I want to work on, and have all the adventures I want to have, and if I have to lose sleep to get it all done, I can say: “Screw sleep! You can sleep when Punk Month’s over!” I do it so if I’m feeling sorry for myself, I can summon the Undying Spirit of Punk Rock and say to myself: “Get over it and do something rad, or I’ll kick your ass.” Sometimes it winds up lasting more than a month. It doesn’t have an official start date, since it’s a made-up thing, but I always start it around the end of January or beginning of February, cos this is the time of year when I need something like this: a cure for the winter blues, a way to shake myself up.

I know, it’s totally silly - but if we can’t create our own silly traditions in this life, then what’s the point in living?

How does this column relate to it? Consider this a mix of anthems for Punk Month. Songs that make me feel furious, wild, young, and alive.

Check out Mix Tapes from the Midwest: The Podcastto hear a bunch of tracks that didn’t make it into the column, and stay tuned for my next column/podcast, which will be all about Wisconsin punk rock.

And when Punk Month’s over, I’ll start writing about other kinds of music again. Maybe.

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HIT BY A BUS: The Supercut

February 6, 2013, 3:00 pm

≫ Next: JUSTIFIED: "Kin" S4E5 (review)

≪ Previous: Mix Tapes From The Midwest: Making Punk Month a Threat Again, Again

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Wait for It...

Most supercuts last what? four or five minutes? Well, this one is filled with people in the movies getting hit by a bus and clocks in at a whopping twelve minutes.

Yeah, twelve full minutes of people getting splattered by mass transit...awesome.

Look at this as a gift that you can watch during your mandatory (but still looked down upon by your boss) fifteen minute break and then spend the remaining three minutes dreaming about which co-workers you would like to see flattened under a bus tire.

You can thank me later.
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JUSTIFIED: "Kin" S4E5 (review)

February 6, 2013, 4:00 pm

≫ Next: INFOGRAPHIC: The Cost of Exploring Space – Film vs Reality

≪ Previous: HIT BY A BUS: The Supercut

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By Steve Ahlquist

The mystery of Drew Thompson heats up with the first meeting this season between Marshal Raylan Givens (Timothy Olyphant) and career criminal Boyd Crowder (Walton Goggins). How they end up together is pretty funny and unexpected.

The episode starts where we left of, as Colton (Ron Eldard), who was sent out on the grisly mission of killing Ellen May (Abby Miller) to keep her quiet about a murder she and Ava committed, tries to find out how she disappeared at the end of the last episode. Using his expired Military Intelligence ID Colton reviews the cameras at the rest stop and sees a sheriff car pulling away, and figures she was picked up by a deputy. By the episode's end we learn that it's Sheriff Shelby Parlow (Jim Beaver) who has Ellen May, and he plans to use what she knows to bring down Boyd Crowder.

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INFOGRAPHIC: The Cost of Exploring Space – Film vs Reality

February 7, 2013, 5:00 am

≫ Next: STUART FREEBORN (1914-2013)

≪ Previous: JUSTIFIED: "Kin" S4E5 (review)

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The Cost of Exploring Space - Film vs. Reality by PaydayLoan.co.uk

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STUART FREEBORN (1914-2013)

February 7, 2013, 6:00 am

≫ Next: History Unfolds in TwoMorrows' Groundbreaking AMERICAN COMIC BOOK CHRONICLES Series

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Make-up artist Stuart Freeborn passed away on Tuesday in London at the age of 98.  For many cinegeeks, Freeborn was one of the magical behind-the-scenes people who's participation in a project guaranteed a level of quality.

Freeborn broke into the industry in 1948 working on David Lean's Oliver Twist, designing the hair and make-up worn by Alec Guinness (this was after several uncredited jobs which included The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp and The Thief of Bagdad).  The BAFTA award winner worked on a number of classic and beloved films including The Bridge on the River Kwai, The Dam Busters, The Mouse That Roared,  Dr. Strangelove, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Omen, The Great Muppet Caper, Top Secret! and the Superman films with Christopher Reeve.

For myself, personally, Freeborn affected my life with his work on the original Star Wars Trilogy.  In addition to contributing countless creatures (including Wampas, Ewoks and Tauntauns) to the films, Freeborn also designed such iconic characters as Jabba The Hutt, Greedo, Yoda (whom he based on himself) and my favorite character in the Star Wars series, Chewbacca, brought to life by Peter Mayhew.

George Lucascommented on Freeborn's passing:

"Stuart was already a makeup legend when he started on Star Wars," said George Lucas. "He brought with him not only decades of experience, but boundless creative energy. His artistry and craftsmanship will live on forever in the characters he created. His Star Wars creatures may be reinterpreted in new forms by new generations, but at their heart, they continue to be what Stuart created for the original films."

Check out some great pics of Freeborn and his creations.


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History Unfolds in TwoMorrows' Groundbreaking AMERICAN COMIC BOOK CHRONICLES Series

February 7, 2013, 7:00 am

≫ Next: Own THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY on Blu-ray Combo Pack 3/19; Available for Early Download in HD 3/12

≪ Previous: STUART FREEBORN (1914-2013)

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The American Comic Book Chronicles is TwoMorrows Publishing's ambitious new series, where its top authors documenting each decade of comic book history from the 1940s to present. In the tradition of such groundbreaking history books as The Steranko History of Comics—which informed a generation of fans in the 1970s about the roots of comic books—these full-color hardcovers will compile over 2000 pages of heavily-researched information, in a friendly, searchable year-by-year format.

Author John Wells leads off with the first of two volumes on the 1960s, covering all the pivotal moments and behind-the-scenes details of comics in the JFK and Beatles era. The book features a year-by-year account of the most significant publications, notable creators, and impactful trends, including: DC Comics' rebirth of Green Lantern, Hawkman, and other 1940s characters, and the launch of Justice League of America and multiple earths; Stan Lee and Jack Kirby's transformation of superhero comics with the debut of Marvel's Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, Hulk, X-Men, Avengers, and other iconic characters; Batman's 1960s "new look"; the Blue Beetle's resurrection and revamp at Charlton Comics; the debut of Creepy #1 from Warren Publishing, which brought horror back to comic book form; the boom of Harvey Comics' "kid" line or Casper, Richie Rich, and more. These are just a few of the events chronicled in this exhaustive, full-color hardcover. Taken together, the series forms a cohesive, linear overview of the entire landscape of comics history, sure to be an invaluable resource for any comic book enthusiast.

1960-64 Volume: (224-page FULL-COLOR HARDCOVER) $39.95
(Digital Edition) $11.95
ISBN: 978-1-60549-045-8 • NOW SHIPPING!
Diamond Comic Distributors Order Code: AUG121321

Check out an extended preview after the jump.


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Own THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY on Blu-ray Combo Pack 3/19; Available for Early Download in HD 3/12

February 7, 2013, 8:00 am

≫ Next: SHOW OFF YOUR TEAM DOWAGER PRIDE With A DIY Violet Crawley Embroidery Salute

≪ Previous: History Unfolds in TwoMorrows' Groundbreaking AMERICAN COMIC BOOK CHRONICLES Series

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The adventure follows the journey of title character Bilbo Baggins, who is swept into an epic quest to reclaim the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor from the fearsome Dragon Smaug. Approached out of the blue by the Wizard Gandalf the Grey, Bilbo finds himself joining a company of 13 Dwarves led by the legendary warrior, Thorin Oakenshield. Their journey will take them into the Wild, through treacherous lands swarming with Goblins, Orcs and deadly Wargs, as well as a mysterious and sinister figure known only as the Necromancer.

Although their goal lies to the East and the wastelands of the Lonely Mountain, first they must escape the Goblin tunnels, where Bilbo meets the creature that will change his life forever...Gollum.

Here, alone with Gollum, on the shores of an underground lake, the unassuming Bilbo Baggins not only discovers depths of ingenuity and courage that surprise even him, he also gains possession of Gollum's “precious” ring that holds unexpected and useful qualities...A simple, gold ring that is tied to the fate of all Middle-earth in ways Bilbo cannot begin to know.

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SHOW OFF YOUR TEAM DOWAGER PRIDE With A DIY Violet Crawley Embroidery Salute

February 7, 2013, 9:00 am

≫ Next: Smallville: Random, Awesome and WTF?! - S10E13: Beacon

≪ Previous: Own THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY on Blu-ray Combo Pack 3/19; Available for Early Download in HD 3/12

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Not very long ago, a person was allowed to watch a television show/movie without choosing which character to side with, but now, if you don't align yourself with someone, well, you're not truly a fan. And the television show Downton Abbey has created a rabid fan-base of American Anglophiles that are ready to bust a N00b's cherry if you accidentally let it slip that you aren't really all that sure which particular character makes your gut tremble.

So, why not play it safe and fan girl/boy it up to Maggie Smith's Dowager Countess of Grantham, Violet Crawley, whose cutting bon mots make her a reasonable character to idolize.

 And the best way to to do such a thing? An embroidered ode to her visage:
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Smallville: Random, Awesome and WTF?! - S10E13: Beacon

February 7, 2013, 10:00 am

≫ Next: Meet Kai, The Hitchhiker With A Heart of Gold, Who Saves Woman From Racist Jesus...Yeah, This Is Going to Get Auto Tuned Soon

≪ Previous: SHOW OFF YOUR TEAM DOWAGER PRIDE With A DIY Violet Crawley Embroidery Salute

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Martha (Annette O'Toole) comes under fire—literally—for speaking out against the Registration Act, but Clark (Tom Welling) gets a huge confidence boost from a collection of videos from supporters vowing to stand by him.

But the bigger news?  Alternate world Lionel (John Glover) has made his move, claiming to be the original and retaking LuthorCorp.

The Random:

1. Mama Kent takes a bullet like a champ, but Clark’s position is understandable; he’s lost his planet and his Earth father and the last thing he wants right now is to lose his Earth mother, too.

2. The people in this show must be pretty jaded considering that Ollie (Justin Hartley) walks into an office, sees the doppelganger of Lionel Luthor and acts like it’s nothing.  Oh, you’re the one from the alternate world?  Cool.  I’ll take you down later, I’ve got places to be.

3. Man, does that Luthor mansion go up in flames fast, or what?  I mean, seriously, where are the firefighters?  Or securi…ha.  Yeah, right.  Security.

“Surprise!  No?  Not a big deal?  Huh.  What’s a guy got to do around here to freak people out..?”

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Meet Kai, The Hitchhiker With A Heart of Gold, Who Saves Woman From Racist Jesus...Yeah, This Is Going to Get Auto Tuned Soon

February 7, 2013, 11:00 am

≫ Next: FOG! Chats With WARM BODIES Co-Star CORY HARDRICT!

≪ Previous: Smallville: Random, Awesome and WTF?! - S10E13: Beacon

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What you are about to see is a news interview with a women and a homeless hitchhiker named Kai who were involved in a tussle with a racist Jesus who decided to pin an electric company worker between his car and the lady's work truck because she was black.

Apparently, Jesus (who has no idea that he, himself is dark complected due to hailing from the Middle-East originally) is a huge douche who also likes to give assault-style bear hugs to women who are only trying to help those people who get hurt when the Lord and Savior of gentiles bum rushes African-Americans.

But thank Chewbacca that Kai was on the scene WITH A HATCHET and a cartoon-like ability to tell the tale of his stand off to a news agency so that we, an appreciative audience can turn this story into an auto-tuned dance track in the near future.

And yes, the woman who was almost killed by The King of Kings is doing fine...although Jesus is in custody and will probably get crucified by the facts when this inevitably goes to trial.

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FOG! Chats With WARM BODIES Co-Star CORY HARDRICT!

February 7, 2013, 1:23 pm

≫ Next: AND I THOUGHT Herbal Tea Was Supposed to Be Soothing [Scary-Ass Commercial]

≪ Previous: Meet Kai, The Hitchhiker With A Heart of Gold, Who Saves Woman From Racist Jesus...Yeah, This Is Going to Get Auto Tuned Soon

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Photo by Bobby Quillard

Based on the novel of the same name by Isaac Marion, the new movie Warm Bodies centers around a young zombie named "R" (Nicholas Hoult)who shuffles around an airport, while dealing with an existential crisis. One day, he meets Julie Grigio (Teresa Palmer), and instead of eating her, he rescues her, and then he falls in love.

Positive changes start to happen among R's zombie horde-friends, but there's a big problem: Julie's dad is a general who wants to exterminate every last zombie.

I was fortunate enough to see Warm Bodies at an advanced screening way back in December, so imagine how stoked I was when I landed an interview with actor Cory Hardrict who plays Kevin, the second-hand man to John Malkovich's General Grigio.

Read more »

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AND I THOUGHT Herbal Tea Was Supposed to Be Soothing [Scary-Ass Commercial]

February 7, 2013, 1:00 pm

≫ Next: Gaming Valentine Woes 2013

≪ Previous: FOG! Chats With WARM BODIES Co-Star CORY HARDRICT!

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When I was a kid, I was always given a mug of hot herbal tea whenever I finished throwing an epic tantrum in order to calm my nerves and make me more accepting of the grounding I was going to be given. As an adult, I participate in the same action whenever I am filled with nonsensical rage over my electric bill and need to keep myself from burning down my money-sucking home.

But now, I'm not so sure about imbibing in a cup of hot tea IF A FUCKING KILLER CLOWN IS APPARENTLY ATTACHED TO THE TEA BAG!

Seriously? This is how you decide to tempt me into buying Herbaria brand tea leaves? Nightmare fuel? 

Thanks to you, I am eyeballing my Earl Grey with the same intensity that I give the random squeaking noise of my basement door being opened by my cat at 3am....by screaming .

I hate you.


Source: Videogum

Gaming Valentine Woes 2013

February 7, 2013, 2:00 pm

≫ Next: SUPER BOWL SUNDAY COMMERCIALS: The Re-Mix

≪ Previous: AND I THOUGHT Herbal Tea Was Supposed to Be Soothing [Scary-Ass Commercial]

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It's almost Valentine's Day and you know what that means! No, no... not yet another chance to get that Calendar Man Achievement from Batman: Arkham City (though, it is!). Valentine's Day means I get to play Agony Aunt for the second year running, where I offer love and relationship advice to characters of the gaming world.

This year it's Dr. Robotnik, Mr. and Ms. Pac-Man, Companion Cube and Big Daddy's turn to be counselled by yours truly, so cast aside your controllers and replace them with a single red rose because this Valentine's Day, we're getting romantic.

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SUPER BOWL SUNDAY COMMERCIALS: The Re-Mix

February 7, 2013, 3:00 pm

≫ Next: THE AMERICANS: "The Clock" S1E2 (review)

≪ Previous: Gaming Valentine Woes 2013

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I didn't watch the Super Bowl this year. I got to go to a baby naming ceremony instead and eat bagels and lox (really, on Super Bowl Sunday?). So no, I didn't get to watch any of the commercials and rate them on a scale of 1-10 before flipping back-and-forth to the Puppy Bowl.

But at least I can watch this re-mix of them and pretend I did.

 (note to all family members: If you decide on a date in which to cut the tip of a penis off your boy child or give your daughter her Hebrew name, you might want to check the date to see if, I don't know, SOMETHING AWESOME IS ON TV?...just a thought).
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THE AMERICANS: "The Clock" S1E2 (review)

February 7, 2013, 4:00 pm

≫ Next: ARROW: "Betrayal" S1E13 (review)

≪ Previous: SUPER BOWL SUNDAY COMMERCIALS: The Re-Mix

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By Morayo Sayles

Soviet spies, The Jennings, return in another tension filled episode. This episode, Elizabeth (Keri Russell) and Phillip (Matthew Rhys) Jennings are assigned a rushed and incredibly dangerous mission, which compromises their safety as surely as them being placed squarely in front of an oncoming train. 

Some new characters are introduced - Annalisa (Gillian Alexy) the beautiful, lonely and slightly unstable wife of the undersecretary of defense and an as-yet-to-be-identified Soviet informant who is coerced into the FBI-KGB battle for spy supremacy.   

When they learn of their mission – to infiltrate the home of Secretary of Defense Caspar Weinberger, both agents are aghast.  Phillip is mortified and initially defiant of taking on a mission that seems so stupid that will most certainly blow their cover, while Elizabeth is determined in her obedience and does not question her deadly orders.  She rationalizes that for their directorate to place them in such a dangerous and compromising situation, the information needed must be incredibly crucial. 

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ARROW: "Betrayal" S1E13 (review)

February 7, 2013, 5:00 pm

≫ Next: Snakes Alive: Okusawa Shrine

≪ Previous: THE AMERICANS: "The Clock" S1E2 (review)

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In flashbacks to the island, we are introduced to the mysterious Slade Wilson (Manu Bennett), a name comic fans will instantly recognize as belonging to Deathstroke the Terminator.   Wilson will continue to train Oliver Queen (Stephen Amell) on the island, helping to turn him into the badass he is today.

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